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The Irish Sun
39 minutes ago
- The Irish Sun
I'm pregnant after affair with wealthy man but he won't take any responsibility… should I contact his mum?
DEAR DEIDRE: A PASSIONATE but short-lived affair with a wealthy man has ended with me now expecting his baby. I am a 30-year-old single mum. I've been divorced for two years and have two beautiful daughters, aged seven and five. One night I was lonely at home after they had gone to bed and I set myself up on a dating app. It was quite encouraging to see the responses I got and it wasn't long before I had arranged to meet up with a guy. He was 37, single and very, very good-looking. He told me he was a financial adviser and he was clearly pretty well-off. We went to a bar for a few drinks and afterwards I went back to his penthouse flat. We used condoms but one night I noticed the condom was torn. Still, I thought it was safe and put any worries out of my head — until I missed my period. I was pregnant. When I messaged him, he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby or me. I was so shocked at his tone and messaged back to tell him I'd booked a termination. Predictably he replied, telling me it was the right decision and to get rid. But before my appointment, my maternal instincts kicked in and I couldn't go ahead with an abortion. I told him I'd had a change of heart and cancelled the appointment. Since then I have sent him updates of my pregnancy including photos of ultrasound scans. Dear Deidre: Cheating and can you get over it It hasn't made any difference. He is adamant he doesn't want to be a father or take any responsibility. He is from a wealthy background and I am certain he hasn't told anyone about this. He is still on the dating app and acting as though nothing has happened. I know I can cope on my own and my daughters are excited at having another sibling. I am wondering whether I should contact his mum and tell her she is going to be a grandmother. Why should she miss out? Is this a good idea? DEIDRE SAYS: The decision to tell his family must lie with him. You can't know how his mum will react. He can't abandon you either. He has a legal obligation to pay towards his child's upkeep even if he doesn't want to be involved in their life. Take a look at He may also have a change of heart and want to become an involved dad once the baby is born. Get in touch with Deidre Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. Send an email to You can also send a private message on the HE WANTS ME AS I'M A VIRGIN DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER a perfect first date with a lovely guy, he has told me he only wants a casual, physical thing. I am not sure if this is such a bad idea. I am 18 and he is 20. We met through a mutual friend a couple of weeks ago. I was so excited when he asked me out on a date. We ended up going for a drink in town before heading off into our local park for an impromptu picnic. It was so romantic and I thought it was the beginning of something really special. We talked about anything and everything and had loads of things in common. Then he told me that he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. He just wants someone to hook up with occasionally and keep things casual. I am still a virgin. He said that because of that he likes me even more. He has promised to look after me and make our first time special but is it a good idea? DEIDRE SAYS: This guy is investing nothing in you emotionally. He doesn't want a girlfriend, he just wants sex and to be your first. He has also made that pretty plain. You owe him nothing, so only have sex when you are ready and when you are with the right guy. You could be setting yourself up to get very hurt and feeling used. Tell him being so casual just isn't your scene. My support pack Learning About Relationships explains more. SO REGRET FINISHING WITH HER DEAR DEIDRE: SPLITTING up with my girlfriend was the worst decision I ever made. I realised that I'd made a big mistake when she spotted me at a beer festival in town. I am 34 and she is 33. We split up just over a year ago after being together for three years. We just seemed to be drifting apart and things were stale – or so I thought at the time. It was my decision to end our relationship, and I know she was heartbroken when I told her how I felt. We have been able to stay friends and I see her out and about. She has a new guy now. She seems really happy with him whereas I have not been able to move on. She told me they have plans to go to New Zealand next year. It is a place I have also wanted to visit for many years. I know I made a terrible mistake in letting her go. DEIDRE SAYS: Please don't beat yourself up over this. You made a decision that felt right at the time. The chances are if you and she got back together you would soon feel the same way all over again. She has put you behind her and you have to get on with your life. My support pack Moving On will help you to do this. Start planning your own holiday now. It will give you something to look forward to. There are lots of single traveller websites if you don't want to travel alone. SPITEFUL EXES KEEPING KIDS AWAY FROM ME DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter's mother says I can only see our girl for a few hours in the morning on my birthday, rather than having her stay with me overnight as originally planned. It means she will miss out on seeing my parents too as they were going to arrive in time for a celebration dinner. I'm 37 and my daughter's ten. I know my ex is doing it to punish me because I can't pay her this month. I also have a son by a different woman. He is almost 13 but I barely see him at all. His mother has virtually alienated him against me so all I get is an occasional text and a visit once in a blue moon. I am doing my best to provide for both of my kids, but I have recently changed jobs and won't get my first wages for another week, which is why I can't pay my daughter's mum her monthly maintenance until later. I know she will have twisted it and told my little girl that I don't care about her. It is all lies but this is what she is like, as we had a bad break-up. I'm in a bad way. I feel like everyone's against me. Sometimes I think it would just be the easier option for everyone if I ended it all. DEIDRE SAYS: This is heartbreaking for you and your children too. It is cruel of your exes to deny you contact. I wonder whether you gave your daughter's mum the heads-up that your money would be late this month. Tell her the cash will be coming soon. If she won't speak to you, is there someone such as a friend or relative who can mediate between you? If not, mediation could really help ( For more advice check out Both Parents Matter ( If you continue to feel down, call the Samaritans (
The Journal
2 hours ago
- The Journal
Farmers urged to prioritise safety as 12 farming fatalities reported so far this year
FARMERS AND THOSE working in agriculture are being urged to prioritise safety as Farm Safety Week begins tomorrow. The Health and Safety Authority has issued a plea for those involved in farming to engage in 'meaningful conversations' with their families and communities regarding risk, responsibility, and prevention. To date, there have been 12 farming fatalities this year. This is the same amount as the total number of fatalities in farming in 2024, the authority said. Of the 12, 5 of these fatalities involved vehicles. In 9 of these cases, the deceased was over the age of 65. Nearly two fifths of farm holders are over the age of 65 , with under-35s making up only a small proportion of the sector, according to data from the Central Statistics Office. Advertisement The average age of farm holders is 59.4. Over 50,000 of Ireland's farm holders (37.8%) are aged 65 or over, whereas only 6,000 (4.3%) are under 35. The HSA said that tragically, farming continues to account for a disproportionate number of workplace deaths. Many of these incidents involve vehicles, machinery, livestock and falls from height, it continued, saying that such incidents are preventable. Senior Inspector at the authority, Get Hartnett, said, 'Each life that is lost in farming is a devastating reminder that safety must come first every day, on every farm. 'We must remind ourselves that there are twelve families this year mourning the loss of a loved one and we must collectively renew our commitment to prevent further family tragedies. 'We want to see a change in the attitude towards farm safety,' Hartnett added. 'Keep your vehicles and machinery well maintained. Plan all work activity. Rest when you feel tired, take a break. Know your limitations.' Farm Safety Week is a campaign that highlights the ongoing dangers faced in farming. The collaborative campaign is coordinated in Ireland by the Irish Farmers' Association, and brings together farming organisations from across Ireland and the UK. Readers like you are keeping these stories free for everyone... A mix of advertising and supporting contributions helps keep paywalls away from valuable information like this article. Over 5,000 readers like you have already stepped up and support us with a monthly payment or a once-off donation. Learn More Support The Journal
The Irish Sun
2 hours ago
- The Irish Sun
Pilots of doomed South Korean plane ‘switched off wrong engine' after flying into birds before crashing and killing 179
THE pilots of the doomed South Korean plane appeared to switch off the wrong engine after flying into birds before crashing. The crash at Muan International Airport on December 29 after the plane did an emergency landing, at the end of the runway, and . 5 Black smoke and flames pouring from the wreckage after it smashed into a concrete slab at the end of the runway 5 The plane landed on its belly and careered off before being stopped dead in its tracks by concrete Credit: UKNIP 5 The aircraft carrying 181 people crashed in December Credit: Unpixs Officials took back copies of the interim findings from reporters after news conference of Saturday. They accused them of prematurely blaming the pilots for the devastating crash. Prior to the media event, investigators told relatives and their representatives that they had concluded that there was They added that various errors by the pilots had led them to land the aircraft too quickly, Preliminary findings confirmed the conclusions that aviation experts had reached from the plane's final path, as well as horror video footage captured from the fatal crash. In the final four minutes of the doomed flight, power to the aircraft's flight recorders was cut off - initially obstructing the investigation. After going into the flock of birds, one of the engines failed - while the other continued to produce a bit of power. Investigators revealed: "A pilot may have mistakenly turned off the engine. Most read in The US Sun While an official told South Korea's MBN TV news: "The pilot should have turned off the right engine, which was severely damaged by the bird strike, but he turned off the left engine, which was spinning, and the black box and power went out." The pilots then ignored standard procedure for continuing of landing after a bird strike on approach. Terrifying moment Boeing passenger plane catches FIRE after take off with flames erupting from the engine They are said to have climbed back up before performing unorthodox manoeuvres and turning to make a rushed landing in the opposite direction - on the same runway. As the heartbroken families of victims entered the media briefing, officials were quick to take copies of the report back from reporters, explaining how it hadn't been officially issued. A man was heard shouting: "They've just blamed it all on the pilots." Head of the relatives' group Kim Yu-jin slammed the report as being unsatisfactory. She said: "When investigators take a position, it should be accompanied by documents that support their position and convince the bereaved family that their conclusions are inevitable. "We were only given their conclusions. "We have repeatedly asked them to be careful about these disclosures because the way that the results of the investigation are communicated can have an impact on the compensation that families receive." The packed jet - Jeju Air Flight 7C2216 - was carrying 181 people from Firefighters said two of the six crew members, one man and one woman, survived after being pulled from the tail of the plane. Read more on the Irish Sun The 33-year-old man suffered multiple fractures and is receiving special care following the disaster. He reportedly told doctors that he had already been rescued when he woke up, Yonhap said. Timeline of the Muan plane disaster By SOUTH Korea has suffered its deadliest air disaster in two decades as a jet carrying 181 went down with only two survivors. 4.29am - Jeju Air flight 7C 2216 leaves Bangkok carrying tourists coming home from package holidays in Thailand. 8.57am - Pilot receives bird strike warning on approach to Muan International Airport. 8.58am - Pilot issues a mayday call - and witnesses report hearing an "explosion" overheard as video shows an apparent bird strike. 9.00am - Plane aborts first landing attempt on Runway 01. 9.03am - The jet then attempts a second landing on Runway 19 on its belly - and crashes in a fireball. 5 A firefighter works near a wrecked landing gear (R) at the scene where a Jeju Air Boeing 737-800 series aircraft crashed Credit: AFP 5 Jeju Air flight 7C2216 is engulfed in flames as it slams into a wall Credit: Reuters
