‘Will you marry me and also help me choose an engagement ring?' The rise and rise of the ‘quiet proposal'
Name: Quiet proposals.
Age: This is about gen Z, so we're talking people aged between 13 and 28, though hopefully no 13-year-olds are involved.
Why? Because we're talking about marriage proposals, and not in Ancient Egypt or Romeo and Juliet.
Gotcha. And quiet, you say? Like whispering? 'Psst! Any chance of hooking up? For ever?' It's not so much about actual decibels, more a backlash against very public proposals.
So less splashy and more low-key, then? It seems so. 'We skipped the big reveal and, instead, worked with an independent designer,' a gen Z-er named Micaela Beltran told Newsweek. 'We ended up with a ring that feels like us. No staged moment, no surprise audience, just a shared decision.'
They chose the ring together? It's not just them. A survey by Diamond Factory jewellers found that today more than half of shoppers for engagement rings are accompanied by their partner. Ella Citron-Thompkins, one of the company's jewellery experts, said: 'Quiet proposing is a new trend where engagements are kept intimate and private.'
I guess it makes sense. 'We had kinda already agreed we wanted to get married and we wanted to make sure I got what I wanted with the ring,' said another gen Z-er, Hannah Macie. 'I think it reveals our generation has relationships that are more of an equal power dynamic.'
But how romantic is 'we had kinda already agreed to get married'? Pipe down, Romeo. It's a sign of maturity and pragmatism, in a world full of uncertainty. A reminder that it's about the two of you, and you should begin the way you mean to continue: sharing equally.
I remember when public proposals were still a thing. A thing in this very column in 2023, when we declared that there was an 'unstoppable rise' in these very loud proposals. These included the 'Marry me' message in the sky using illuminated drones, the proposal on the Olympic podium, the one using a fake film trailer …
I liked that one! And he asked her dad first. Proper old school. Cringe! Also so squirmy when it goes wrong. Like the one at a National Hockey League game when a shirtless man proposed in front of the crowd and the camera, and she ran out of the stadium.
Ha! More please. The internet's full of them. And yet they're still a thing, I'm afraid. Only last week, a 69-year-old man from Aberdeen got help popping the question from Roger Daltrey, after he took his partner to the musician's concert. These adorable baby boomers, so flashy …
Do say: 'Not asking, no – just putting it out there, as an idea, to be discussed, together …'
Don't say: 'Yeah, but that's not going to work on YouTube.'
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