Bachelorette parties can now cost thousands to attend. Here's how to keep the madness in check

Hamilton Spectator

a day ago

When one of Aleah Balas's closest friends decided to go big for her bachelorette party, Balas was ready to go all in for the celebrations.
The 27-year-old communications consultant and Toronto resident ended up spending more than $1,000 on a four-day trip to Niagara-on-the-Lake. She chipped in for the cost of the Airbnb, a winery tour, a private shuttle and a dinner made by a private chef. She also bought a new outfit for the tour.
'It does add up really quick,' Balas says, adding that she has zero regrets about spending the money for such a good friend. 'I would have done it if I had to travel across the world and spend a lot more.'
Attending a wedding usually means buying a gift for the couple and perhaps a new outfit. These days, however, guests of bachelorette parties are emptying their wallets before the main event, with costs including hotel stays, flights and private tours.
A 2023 study from The Knot Worldwide
,
a global tech company that provides products, services and content for celebration planning,
found people spend an average of $1,300 (U.S.) on bachelorette parties, including food, lodging and activities.
Shannon Lee Simmons, a Toronto-based certified financial planner and author of 'Making Bank: Money Skills for Real Life,' says social media is the main reason that bachelorette costs have risen so much over the past 20 years. Before Facebook and Instagram, couples kept their photos at home in wedding albums, to be shared mainly with family and close friends. 'Social media has really put us on display,' she says. 'We're hyper aware of what other people are doing for their bachelor and bachelorette parties in a way that we just weren't before.'
There's also a herd mentality when it comes to pre-wedding celebrations within friend groups. 'You have these bridesmaids or groomsmen who want to make it special and they're competing against the expectations that have been set by the general group,' Simmons says. 'You're willing to make these extravagant plans to show your love. The emotional stakes are really high.'
Planning well in advance, setting and sticking to a budget, and knowing where to draw the line are key to avoiding overspending and going into debt when celebrating a friend's big day.
A public service announcement to anyone getting married: Let your wedding party know about bachelorette party plans as soon as possible so that your guests have plenty of time to save. 'The more time you have, the less you have to sacrifice on a month-to-month basis,' Simmons says.
For her sister's five-day bachelorette getaway to Disneyland in California, Vancouver resident and money coach Parween Mander had six months to plan. She says it's key for party planners to lay out clear expectations from the beginning of where the trip will be and how much it will cost.
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Include bridal party members in the early planning process — especially those struggling with their finances. 'If you can get in there as early as possible, get the key details, or be able to contribute ideas that might be a little bit more affordable, you can try to support the outcome,' Mander says.
Desjardins financial planner Angela Iermieri says it's a good idea to start setting money aside as soon as you get a save-the-date notice. If you put aside $50 a week for six months, you'll have saved about $1,200. 'Always plan in advance for your projects and avoid credit,' Iermieri says.
Mander saved up for the bachelorette trip by dividing the estimated cost by the number of months remaining, and decided to contribute around $300 a month to a savings account she uses solely for travel expenses.
When discussing costs and finances with bachelorette guests, check in with them individually over the phone before announcing plans in the group chat. 'The group chat is a stress point that can be avoided with one calm conversation on the phone,' Simmons says. 'When it comes to money, surprise is terrible.'
If you want to be part of the celebrations but you're worried about costs, Simmons suggests talking to other guests about potential hacks. 'You're probably not the only person panicking,' Simmons says. One of her clients who couldn't afford a pricey hotel decided to stay in a more affordable hotel down the street with two other bachelorette attendees. 'It saved them $1,000 and they had just as much fun.'
Mander spent a total of $2,867.55 on her sister's bachelorette getaway. She had to pay $660 to rebook a return flight after the original flight was cancelled due to an airline strike. Luckily, she had some buffer room in her budget. 'I try to put an additional $500 to $1,000 in my savings account just in case,' she says.
Iermieri says there will always be unexpected last-minute expenses when it comes to bachelorette celebrations. 'It could be a cab ride or a meal, or a need to replace something,' she says. Those extras are usually the reason for going over budget. Iermieri recommends saving an additional 10 to 20 per cent on top of the set costs for unexpected purchases.
Balas is planning to attend a wedding in the south of France in August, and had to turn down an invitation to the bachelorette party in London, England. 'I just couldn't make it work,' she says. Luckily, her friends were understanding. 'It was actually a very easy conversation.'
People should feel comfortable saying no without blame or guilt, Simmons says. 'At the end of the day, the shared goal is that everyone wants to be together and celebrate this person. I think that person, at the end of day, wouldn't want it to be a stressful situation.'