AFL great Jimmy Bartel opens up on ‘incredibly violent' father and dark family past

7NEWS

17 hours ago

Geelong champion and Brownlow medallist Jimmy Bartel has revisited his dark childhood and time spent with an abusive, alcoholic father.
Bartel, an Australian Football Hall of Famer, has previously spoken about his violent father, but he has now shared more details about the relationship, and documented one 'scary' night in particular.
Bartel was only a baby when his parents split up but his father still featured in his life.
'I didn't understand the reason for the separation early doors or the volatility in that relationship,'' Bartel said on the A Life of Greatness podcast.
'Even though my parents divorced, my mum never said a negative word about my father, who was violent.
'He battled alcoholism and gambling addictions and was incredibly violent towards my mum and others in my family (Bartel has two sisters).
'I was shielded a bit being younger but as you got older your eyes start to open (and) you go, 'That's not right'.
'It became a real tough thing for me to deal with.
'I'm pretty guarded and reserved, and I remember coming home, I went straight to my bedroom and then mum comes in and goes, 'What's wrong?' I just don't think he's the person I think he is ... I didn't have a great time up there with him and had a pretty average night, one night with him, which is pretty scary for myself.
'We had been heavily drinking and things like that, he got pretty physical with myself, sort of stuff (behaviour) that you'd put away and seen earlier, that sort of all came to the surface.'
Bartel said his father would still came around to his family home, even though his mother had an AVO on him.
'He came around and told her to lift the AVO or else he was going to take mum. And he did. He took my mum out of the house and took her,' he said.
'I remember looking out the loungeroom window and he was taking my mum and I only found out until I was older, he was taking mum out to the back of Geelong and pretty much gave her the ultimatum, either remove the AVO or this is the end for you.
'And so it was a tough decision for my mum, do you leave three kids with no mum or you come back home and you remove the AVO and you try and manage things a different way.
'So it was, it wasn't until I was older, you know, in your teenage years where you start to work out, hang on, this is not the hero that you want as a dad.'
Bartel also touched on his life with former wife (model and influencer) Nadia Bartel.
'I've never commented on anything to do about my separation,' he said.
'I never will because I just don't think it's needed. And so I just go about my business. I don't see what's so fascinating about myself.
'Like there's nothing that I can do and say. And other people's opinion on me is none of my business. And so they'll form their own narrative, their own thinking, or their own thought.
'The only thing that matters to me is the people that I care about and I just foster those relationships and it can be tough at times (because) you do want to bite back and you do want to respond or you want to go, 'Well, I'll say my bit,' but people don't care.
'Deep down they don't. The people who care are the people that actually care about you. And so that's all I'm worried and focused about.'
Bartel also spoke about his former teammate Joel Selwood, who this year lost his older twin brothers.
'I don't think we can ever comprehend it,'' Bartel said.
'Joel, who's obviously the famous Joel Selwood, there's a grandstand (named after him), he and I lived together for quite some time,' Bartel said.
'Then of course, his parents, my mum and his parents became quite close. I played over 13 years with Joel and shared so much with him. And I think the most difficult thing is, like, what do you say? And I know that's the minor end of the problem, but you just want to make it all better for them.
'Then you think everyone's trying to make it all better for them, but trying to let them know whatever you need, we're there. And the resilience of that family is extraordinary. I still can't get my head around it.
'I think it gets put into laser focus with when you have your own kids (and) losing one child ... every time you think about it, you think about Joel, you think about Scott, the youngest brother, and then Bryce and Maree, it's like, can you give me some of your hurt? And I think everyone thinks that, can you move some of that load on to us? Because no one deserves that.'