PARTLY FACETIOUS: ZULFIQAR AHMAD
'Say what you will, there is a difference between who is giving the briefing and to whom.'
'So if I give you a briefing, then what?'
'Then I may decide to challenge you or if I have had a hard day I may not but that won't mean that I believe what you tell me.'
'Ah ha so there is another difference between briefings: my credibility.'
'Indeed so if you continue to….to.…'
'Present a biased view?'
'I am of the firm opinion that in the name of the All Holy Objectivity (AHO) we, in spite of constant exhortations by our professors to be unbiased, cannot but inject subjectivity into a briefing…and wait…I also believe that the range of subjectivity on a scale of 1 to 10 that we inject, is in direct proportion to our self-interest and….'
'Dear, dear, me; So, instead of AHO, we have AHS (All Holy Subjectivity).'
'Yes; so let's say our finance minister while briefing Moody's on the state of the economy….'
'My question is why did he focus on Moody's – the agency gave its last rating on 28 August 2024. Standard and Poor's on the other hand gave a rating as far back as 22 December 2022 so why not focus on them.'
'Well by that logic why not focus on Fitch, they upgraded us on 15 April this year so they are, how do I put it – more amenable to….'
'Can I say something?'
'If it's not positive then no because hopefulness is next to….'
'No, I just want to urge the finance minister to seek a rating which is investment grade. I mean, if he can manage that then he will go down in history as the only finance minister who managed to get investment grade rating. See, we have never ever had that rating by….'
'The Special Investment…..'
'Not yet, work is in progress.'
'Wasn't it established two years ago…'
'Back off you idiot. In economics, two years can be defined as short term.'
'So I wait for the medium term, which is what? Four years?'
'I hope you are not being facetious because if you are then let me brief you about …'
'I stand corrected.'
Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
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