You've Probably Heard of a California King Mattress. But What About an Alberta King?
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King-sized mattresses are the largest mattress size you can get, right? Surprise! It's not just the standard king anymore. With king mattress size options these days, you've got territories, states, and split surfaces all involved. If you weren't prepared for this pop quiz in mattress geography, worry not—I am. I'm a professional mattress tester of five years and, in this case, our expedition guide to walk you through it all. But if you need a full education in all things mattress, we have a guide on how to choose one. All Hail the King
Standard king mattresses are 76 inches wide and 80 inches long. You get extra foot room, and for solo sleepers plenty of space to move around. It's also plenty of space for co-sleepers, and maybe a dog and/or child. Standard king mattresses may also go by another name, known as Eastern king. Kind of like New York City being 'The Big Apple' or Chicago being 'the Windy City,' both names refer to the same thing.
California king mattresses are a bit longer than standard mattresses (not unlike the actual state of California). The width is shorter at 72 inches, but you have more length to work with at 84 inches. If you're tall, this could be a perfect match for you. However, co-sleepers may want to keep the shorter width in mind, especially if one person tends to be a restless sleeper who infringes on their partner's side of the bed.
Split king mattresses take on a more Tetris-like approach to achieving their size, which happens to be the same as a standard king at 76 inches by 80 inches. Two twin XL mattresses are put side by side, and each is 38 inches wide but 80 inches long. The idea behind this power-coupling can commonly be seen with adjustable mattresses and adjustable frames, where a split down the middle allows for a range of mobility you can't get with other beds. If you're a couple looking for adjustable firmnesses for your respective sides, or the opportunity to move the top and bottom of the bed, it's likely you'll wind up with a split king mattress. $4,498 $4,098 (9% off)
Saatva
Wyoming king mattresses are where things start to expand in the realm. This bed measures 84 inches by 84 inches. Very symmetrical, also like the state of Wyoming. Wyoming king mattresses are considered more of a specialty mattress, so if this strikes your fancy, it most likely will require a custom order from a company that makes it, like Wyoming King. Not to worry, though, because as specialty king mattress sizes become more popular, the offerings are becoming more plentiful. For my above-6-feet-tall people, stand up! Or, rather, lie down, because this is exactly a size that gives you the space you felt other mattress sizes lack.
Alberta king mattresses measure at 8 feet on both sides, or 96 inches long and 96 inches wide to be exact. No need to trek to Canada for an Alberta king mattress, as there are plenty of custom builders out there to get you situated. If you are above 6 feet fall, we are entering the mattress territory that you may find very accommodating. And of course, as is always the case with me, pun intended.
Texas king mattresses really up the ante, and I'll spare you another state analogy. These beds are 98 inches long and 80 inches wide, so there are a lot of wide open spaces for sleepers. Like Wyoming kings, Texas king mattresses are plenty spacious—they easily fit three adults, or two and some kiddos. Or, maybe, one person with five Great Danes. Now that would be a party.
Alaskan king mattresses are the newest king-size territory to be explored. Standard kings are spacious, but the more sleepers you add, the more cramped it will become. That really goes for any size mattress, but Alaskan kings are exempt from that statement. These beds are an astounding 108 inches long by 108 inches wide, or 9 feet for both. Even the tallest of sleepers have something to work with here, as well as families or people with many, many pets. Which Will You Crown?
Please, please, please take the tape measure out and confirm that your bedroom is going to be able to fit your king mattress of choice. It's going to be awkward ordering an Alaskan king mattress and unboxing it only to find that it can't fully unfurl on the frame, much less between the walls. Speaking of bed frames, make sure yours is up to the task of supporting the extra weight and square footage of a king-size mattress!
Also, where do you even get sheets for an Alberta king or Alaskan king mattress? Good news: Many of the mattress makers offering these custom sizes produce sheets that fit their products. With that said, enjoy spreading out and having extra sleep real estate to work with, especially if the kids, dogs, and partners are all crashing with you.
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And I never felt especially driven to do the latter. Flirting and kissing? Yes, please. Taking it to the bedroom? How about we see what's on Netflix instead. You'll notice I didn't say being asexual means being celibate or requires not having sex. Often people think the two go hand in hand, but that's where they get us wrong. Asexuality exists along a spectrum. Some aces are not interested in sex with anyone, including themselves. Some might not be sexually attracted to others but may still have sex with a partner because of the connection it creates or nurtures. Some, who identify as demisexuals, are only interested in sex with someone once they've formed a strong emotional bond with them. But the thing that all aces have in common is that sexual attraction does not exist or does not exist in the way that it does for allosexual people (those who do experience sexual attraction to others). When you don't have the words to describe something, it's impossible to imagine it. When I was struggling with my sexuality as a teenager, I at least knew that bisexuality existed. But I never knew it was possible to not be sexually attracted to anyone, so I just willed myself to try harder. I was at war with myself — I wanted to feel the desire I saw characters in movies and on TV experience, the way I thought I was supposed to, but my body just didn't. Dating was a minefield of fending off the sloppy bedroom invitation of a frat boy who I thought was 'very interested' in hearing about acting camp, and getting halfway through 'Big Fish' before finding a friend's hands down my pants. When you don't understand the signs of sexual attraction because they don't exist for you, every interaction can feel dangerous. I found myself wondering, Will this end in a hug? Or will I find myself petrified in his bed, afraid to say no? Once, when I was in college, I was thrilled to finally get my crush back to my dorm room after a party. 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And then a week later I'd tell myself, No, it comes from my sheltered youth, and I need some amount of initiation, but I can't feel tricked. But no matter how many perfectly outlined scenarios I came up with, nothing alleviated my anxiety about sex. Finally, that afternoon in my therapist's office gave me the answer I had been looking for. While the revelation was a huge relief for me, I was nervous to tell my husband. Would this be a dealbreaker? There was no roadmap available to me for how we would move forward with this new knowledge. I didn't know much about asexuality, and I had no idea if an allosexual person would want to be with someone like me. When I sat down and explained everything I had learned to him, it was actually a relief for both of us. I could finally be at peace with the fact that I experienced attraction differently than my husband (no more trying to force myself to be 'normal'), and he knew now that it wasn't that I didn't desire him. In the end, recognizing that I was ace helped remove a lot of the unease for me, because I wasn't fighting against my body anymore. I was so grateful to him for listening patiently and supporting me as we learned more about asexuality together. Was it always easy to figure out? Of course not. But now we navigate sexuality in our relationship in our own way, just like every couple does. Coming out to others as asexual has proved complicated, especially because there's so much ignorance and misunderstanding about asexuality in our culture. Recently, on a Netflix reality show, I heard a contestant say, 'I'm a human ― I want to get physical.' The implication was that anyone who wouldn't want to 'get physical' is somehow inhuman. Late-night talk show hosts use the term 'asexual' synonymously with 'undesirable.' Commenters on ace articles and social media posts fling hurtful assumptions at us like, 'What a waste!' 'Why are you dressing like that if you don't want to have sex?' 'So you don't feel sexual attraction... are you attracted to plants?' 'Are you a sociopath?' 'It's because you haven't met the right person' and 'You just need to get laid!' 'How tragic!' Constantly having to face so much stigma and misinformation is challenging and can cause aces to doubt ourselves and what we feel. It can also keep us in the closet, either because we fear what will happen if we come out or simply because it's exhausting to have to defend our identity and repeatedly educate others about our lives. There are many reasons to be sad about asexuality, but none of them have anything to do with asexuals themselves and have everything to do with society. Consider the young ace woman who is forced into marriage despite being sex-repulsed, or an ace man who goes to the doctor for advice only to be told he's dealing with a disorder and then subjected to conversion therapy. Consider the asexual person who is challenged by their family or bullied by their friends because not experiencing sexual attraction is believed to be abnormal or dangerous. But asexuals aren't sad because we don't feel sexual attraction. We're not missing anything. A lot of our distress would be alleviated if society accepted that we're happy the way we are. What's more, not feeling sexual attraction doesn't mean we can't go on dates (with other aces or allosexuals) or find partners or get married or have kids. For those who aren't interested in more typical or traditional romantic relationships or family configurations, they might form queer platonic relationships or create family from friends. There are lots of different ways to find and experience love and companionship that don't involve or require sexual attraction. Related: Finding and experimenting with new approaches to relationships and family ― and concentrating on those bonds outside of the realm of sex ― can be valuable for everyone, not just asexuals, and there's a lot more allosexuals can learn from us. We spend a lot of time thinking through what we like and want and, maybe more important, what we don't want out of sex and relationships. Thinking about what you actually want versus what you feel you should want can lead to better communication and the ability to advocate for yourself. In relationships like mine, where an asexual is paired with an allosexual, compromise and articulating our needs is essential. Beyond that, aces are great at creating solid bonds with friends ― maybe because we're great at prioritizing other types of relationships that aren't sexual. On the day I discovered asexuality, I left my therapist's office elated because I finally understood a crucial part of who I was. It was a life-changing moment, especially because it explained so much about how I show up in my marriage. Having a name for my identity — and an orientation that I can claim — has given my husband and me a new way to understand our relationship. Being able to be my truest self with him has made us stronger than ever. I dream that someday asexuality will be widely accepted as a valid orientation instead of a slur, a punchline or, worse, a disorder in need of fixing. There are many of us out there in the world — and many who may not even know they're ace because of how little information exists about our identity. I hope that will change as more and more of us discover and embrace who we are, continue to share our truths, dismantle the many myths about asexuality, and let the world know how much we love ourselves and our lives just the way we are. Erin Wiesen (she/her) writes about parenting and sexuality, and is working on a memoir about coming out as asexual in her 30s. She is an advocate for asexual representation and lives on the East Coast with her family. This article originally appeared on HuffPost in May 2024. Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: Solve the daily Crossword
