Five boaters rescued from disabled vessel in Lake Michigan
A good Samaritan was credited with a call at 9:31 p.m., reporting to Coast Guard Sector Lake Michigan that a nearby 55-foot vessel was in distress with five people on board, the U.S. Coast Guard report said. The vessel was losing its rudder and taking on water at the time.
The boaters were near Kewaunee, Wisconsin, which is along Lake Michigan, east of Green Bay.
In response, the agency issued an Urgent Marine Information Broadcast, sending the Air Station Traverse City (Michigan) MH-60 Jayhawk helicopter crew and Station Sturgeon Bay (Wisconsin) 45-foot response crew on the water to the area.
The Great Lakes District Command Center then coordinated details with both the air and marine crews, providing position of the vehicle.
The marine crew rescued all five from the water as the helicopter crew provided aerial oversight and support.
The rescued boaters had symptoms of hypothermia and seasickness, the agency said. Once they arrived at Kewaunee Municipal Marina, they were transferred to local emergency medical services for evaluation. "The swift, coordinated response to last night's boating emergency was a result of countless hours of training to include training with station personnel and assets like Station Sturgeon Bay," Lt. j.g. Nicholas Betts, Air Station Traverse City Public Affairs Officer said in Thursday's report.
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In the interest of candor and transparency, I would counsel the neighbors have a respectful face-to-face conversation versus slipping any letter under the door of a noise offender. The moment a note is passed, a guessing game will begin and two possible outcomes may follow —neither ideal. First, the noisy neighbor may wrongly assume it was someone else who wrote the note and begin acting awkwardly around them with no hint as to why. Alternatively, by process of elimination, they may figure out the actual note-writer and — as their feelings quickly morph from embarrassment to incredulity — decide to take their decibels to the next level. If the neighbor is not conciliatory or makes a brief change only to lapse again into raucousness, the distressed party can elect to escalate the matter to a landlord or managing agent as a potential violation of a lease or of the building's house rules. In such scenarios, be aware that punitive action may be slow to happen ― if it happens at all. 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Combined with the lived experiences oldest children have, this creates specific challenges that are often discussed in therapy. Below are some of the most common issues oldest siblings bring up in sessions: Struggles With Perfectionism With the oldest child, there is a lot of trial-and-error parenting — new parents are learning how to raise their firstborn and don't yet have the knowledge that they'll bring to raising their younger children, said Altheresa Clark, a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Inspire4Purpose in Florida. This may mean oldest children have to deal with extreme parenting styles, like a strict upbringing with lots of rules and expectations. 'So, how that translates to the oldest child, they now have to grow up and there are a lot of expectations. A lot of times [this creates a] Type A personality where they become perfectionists,' Clark said. Clark said she helps her oldest-sibling patients connect the dots and dismantle the perfectionist belief systems that have been with them for decades. 'We're helping them say, well, your parent was hard on you as the oldest child, which then translated as you had to be the best, you're a perfectionist, you're very self-critical.' It's important for oldest siblings to realize this connection to be easier on themselves when they don't meet their high expectations, she said. 'If they don't show up the way their parents enforced in them, they're very, very hard on themselves,' Clark said. Feelings Of Imposter Syndrome When you're very self-critical and constantly striving for more, it can be hard to ever feel like you're good enough, which can lead to imposter syndrome, according to Clark. 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Especially in BIPOC communities where 'you are supposed to help your younger sibling — it's just expected of you to serve in those roles,' Clark added. Sagaram said children who are parentified grow into adults who aren't able to fully relax, constantly worry about other people and always feel like they have to be caretakers for their loved ones. And this shows up in both men and women, Sagaram said. Jealousy Toward Younger Siblings Sagaram said oldest siblings often feel like they had to pave the way for their younger siblings and can feel like their little sister or brother has it easier. For older siblings, both Sagaram and Clark noted, this can lead to feelings of jealousy or resentment. Oldest siblings may be jealous of the ease younger siblings feel around certain situations — like bad grades or breaking curfew — and may wish they got to experience life that way, too. In the end, it can feel like unfair treatment for the oldest sibling. 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You Can't Change Your Birth Order, But You Can Treat Your Struggles 'Birth order is definitely something a lot of people talk about on social media, and it does play a role in how we are as people and especially the relationship with our parents,' Sagaram said, but 'it's definitely not the only factor.' If you have a strained relationship with people in your family and you want to blame your birth order, you can do that, but there are also ways to heal the relationship, she said. 'We can't change birth order. It's something that we were born into — to dwell on something like that can cause more harm,' Sagaram said. Regardless of your birth order, it's possible to have good and healthy relationships with your parents and your siblings, she said. 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Years ago, writer Sara C. felt palpable chemistry with a coworker. She had been married for 14 years at the time, but her friendship with the man was flirtatious and she started to fixate on it. They communicated regularly and had coffee dates. Then they slept together. But a line was crossed even before the physical relationship began: Sara had invested in a figment of a relationship until it became a real one, to the detriment of her marriage. 'My affair definitely started out as an emotional affair,' said Sara, whose last name has been withheld to protect her privacy. 'I think many people in steady relationships sometimes stagnate or get into tiffs that remain unresolved.' 'Whether it's boredom or complacency or unresolved frustration, I'm not sure,' she added. 'But it makes them see other people in a different light and can elevate the human connection.' Those lingering connections are sometimes called backburner relationships. A 'backburner' is 'a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement,' according to a 2014 study in Computers in Human Behavior. The concept has also been called 'cushioning' ― as in, 'I have a Plan B ready to cushion the blow if Meg and I don't work out.' It's more than just a 'what-if' situation, though. Backburner relationships require relatively frequent communication, Jayson Dibble, the 2014 study's lead author and an assistant professor of communication at Hope College, told The Atlantic at the time. These affairs of the heart ― and of the imagination ― make sense from an evolutionary standpoint: If the goal is to have as many options as possible for reproduction, the occasional Instagram 'like' and 'wanna get coffee?' text is easy enough to maintain. At the same time, you ensure your future offspring will have someone to care for them by staying with your partner. Marriage and family therapist Elisabeth LaMotte likens cushioning to a 'pre-meditated version of rebounding.' Cushioning typically indicates an inability to exist without a relationship, she said. And more often than not, our backburner fulfills (or seems to fulfill) something that's missing in our primary relationship. 'With cushioning, you're usually cultivating a secret flirtation with someone who represents an exaggerated rebellion against challenges in one's current relationship. For example, someone who is dating a successful but anxious partner might cushion with a relaxed partner who is unable to keep a job,' she said. 'But cushioning denies both parties a chance to see if the anxiousness (or any other challenges) might be lessened through communication and effort with our primary partners.' We imagine the grass is greener on the other side ― and in the process, we short-shrift what very well may be a solid relationship. Once pursued, backburner relationships are subject to the same frustrating, everyday complications any other couple experiences. Sometimes, the relationship peters out quickly or forces you to grapple with your own unresolved issues. This was the case for comedian and writer Xaxier Toby. Six years ago, Toby pursued a relationship with a friend of a friend he'd always had 'If only I were single...' thoughts about. 'I'd just been dumped and instead of dealing with that, I leaped straight to the backburner,' said Toby, who has written a number of comedy books including Mining My Own Business. 'It didn't go anywhere, of course, and just delayed me dealing with the pain of a breakup, with the bonus of unfairly messing with someone and involving them in the emotional mess that was me at that time,' he added. Toby said he now understands why backburner relationships are so common. 'They provide a little jolt of validation that you might be missing in your relationship due to turmoil, but that's all they'll ever be,' he said. 'They're like sugar. Instantly gratifying, addictive, but without any nutritional value.' Cushioning is unfair to both your current partner and the person acting as your cushion, said Samantha Burns, a dating coach and the author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back. They're also unhealthy for you. 'Cushioning stems from a place of insecurity, or underlying feelings of dissatisfaction in your current relationship,' she said. 'If you're cushioning, ask yourself why you need the outside attention and validation. Is it making up for some needs that are not being met in your relationship? Is it distracting you from acknowledging that you're unhappy or disconnected from your partner?' Take your time if you need it. But if you realize you want to refocus on your primary relationship, do so with intentionality. 'When you're more insightful and mindful about your thoughts and feelings, you can figure out if you want to remain in your relationship and communicate with your partner instead of going outside the boundaries of your relationship,' Burns said. 'Successful couples turn inwards, not outwards.' Related Coverage This Is What An Emotional Affair Is -- And What It Isn't If You've Just Been Cheated On, Here's What To Do Next You'll Never Guess Who Is Having The Most Extramarital Affairs
