When mothers are no longer seen as protectors

The Citizen

3 days ago

Filicide challenges our view of motherhood. How long can we ignore the growing list of mothers accused of killing their children?
Tiffany Meek accused of her son's murder appear at Roodepoort Magistrate's Court on July 14, 2025 in Roodepoort, South Africa. It is alleged that Jayden-Lee Meek (11) was found dead, half-naked with multiple bruises on his body outside his home in Fleurhof on 14 May. (Photo by Gallo Images/Fani Mahuntsi)
The list of mothers who are linked to the killings of their children seems to be growing – with those well-known being Keneilwe Shalaba and Kelly Smith.
Now, Jayden-Lee Meek's mother Tiffany Nicole Meek might be added to the list if she is found guilty.
The country is invested in cases of missing children. Those who rallied around these cases have discovered that those who are supposed to protect these children may be the ones harming them.
But it seems we are not angry enough at these women who are accused of filicide.
This act refers to the intentional killing of a child by a parent. We have now come to a time where we must familiarise ourselves with this term and understand it.
There are too many unsolved cases relating to missing, and sometimes deceased, children.
ALSO READ: Authorities looking into claims murdered 11-year-old Jayden-Lee Meek was abused
We could be looking for 'the bogeyman' outside of their homes, when the 'bogeyman' could possibly be the one crying the loudest.
Are we confident to say, we have been looking for these perpetrators in the right places?
The chokehold that poverty has on families, the slow deaths that drug dependence brings to families, the demonising of traditional healing by perpetuating the narrative that for every missing child, a traditional healer's muti concoction is at play.
These are the stories that normally accompany these harrowing stories. We are yet to hear further details in the matter of Meek.
But we already know traditional healers and the pursuit of wealth were mentioned in the Smith and Shalaba cases.
We often blame the failures and shortcomings of boys to the absence of a father figure in their lives. The argument being that if a real man was present, then a role model would exist to guide the boy.
ALSO READ: 'We failed Jayden-Lee Meek': Community in tears as mother appears in court for son's murder
Women should not have to raise a boy with only the experience of being a woman.
Too many men have been raised by single women who have to wing it because fathers were not present. But can we really blame these men, who possibly ran from these women for their sanity?
In 2005, the murder of baby Jordan-Leigh Norton alerted us to the dangers of filicide.
Yet, we continue to be shocked when women are accused of the murder of their children?
While it may be easy and common to paint a picture of danger that mirrors the male figure, we must understand that women have the perfect alibi: they are mothers – and mothers are not supposed to kill their children.