What American tourists need to know about surviving the British countryside

Telegraph

4 days ago

The last time I escorted American visitors into the British countryside, there were tears. My friends, hobbyist hikers undaunted by the Rockies, were unprepared for the British delight that is a yomp through wind and rain, puddles and mud.
After five years spent learning the ways of this country, I clawed the weekend back from the brink with a roast dinner at a cosy pub. But the experience proved once again that – though just across the pond – there is still a world of difference between rural America and the British countryside.
The issue has been thrown into particularly sharp focus by the current love affair Americans are enjoying with the English wilds. This summer, Vice President JD Vance will visit the Cotswolds with his family, following in the footsteps of Hollywood celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres, who moved to the area with wife Portia de Rossi in November. But pitfalls abound for Americans unfamiliar with the norms of bucolic Britain, from the sleepy shops to the unspoken rules of the pubs.
Here are the dos and don'ts you need to know if you're going to survive unscathed.
Do: Take your time
In classic American style, you might be tempted to pack your week with a couple days in the charming villages of the Cotswolds, then a trip to Cornwall's rugged coast and ending in the scenic Scottish Highlands. But just pick one place and stay a while. The beauty of the British countryside is in enjoying its slower pace.
Don't: Expect all-hours service
Put early morning errands out of your mind. The village shop might not be open 9 to 5, and expect businesses to close in the early afternoon – or not open at all – on Sundays.
Do: Steel yourself for narrow country roads
Americans will be prepared to brave driving on the left, but may not have bargained for the tiny hedgerow-lined lanes which can cause bafflement for visitors. These aren't one-way streets; two-way traffic works on the basis of waiting your turn.
Strategically placed passing points widen single track roads. The vehicle nearest to a passing place should yield: if the passing place is on your left, you should pull over; if it is on your right, wait for the other car to tuck in.
Even if you don't see any oncoming traffic, it's crucial to note the location of the passing places – you may need to reverse into one if an unexpected vehicle (likely a tractor) comes around the corner. So go slow.
Don't: Forget to wave a polite thank you
It's vital countryside etiquette to thank the other driver for gracefully negotiating the situation with you – regardless of whether you were the passed or passing.
Do: Prepare to walk
Yes, you'll need to navigate the roads but, by American standards, you won't be spending much time in your car. In tiny towns and villages parking is at a premium, so find a spot and spend your day on foot.
In the UK, public footpaths cut through private property (watch for colour-coded trail markers to guide your way). Because trails criss-cross farms and fields, you can often find yourself sharing space with livestock, from shy sheep to nosy horses. Give cows a cautious wide berth, and keep any canine companions on a lead (leash).
British walkers love a ramble. Unlike hiking in the US, there may or may not be a panoramic view at the endpoint – here, outdoors pursuits prioritise the journey not the destination. The destination will reliably be a pub, but the journey to said pub might meander a country lane, stomp through a random field or summit a small mountain. You'll earn your pint.
Don't: Ignore your fellow walkers
Say hello. You'll be seen as rude if you don't at least offer up a 'good morning' when you pass others on a countryside path.
Do: Pack appropriate footwear
There will be mud. Even on a clear and sunny day, there will likely be mud. Waterproofed hiking shoes or full-on wellies are a prerequisite.
Don't: Put much faith in the weather report
Yes, it will probably rain during your holiday. But a single day, or even hour, might see a foggy cold-front followed by a sunny hot spell. Always have an extra layer and an umbrella handy.
Do: Know your way around a pub
There's a knack to being a good pub patron, and when in doubt, follow the locals' lead.
If the only staff you can see are behind the bar, you can safely assume that's where you'll be ordering your drinks and your meal – don't waste time waiting for table service. (Though at more upscale pubs, you'll often find a dining section where normal restaurant rules apply.)
It's first come, first served at the bar, but if you fail to observe who else might be waiting to order, you might cut ahead in line without even realising. It's a major faux pas; the British take queues seriously.
Don't: Shout
My dear fellow Americans, you are so loud. Please use your gentlest indoor voices, even at the pub.
Do: Devour a roast dinner
A Sunday roast is an unmissable ingredient of a British countryside weekend – think Thanksgiving dinner, every week. This meal is served at lunchtime – by Sunday evening you might be met with empty pubs and closed kitchens.
Don't: Treat every roast as equal
Skipping the restaurant research runs the risk of soggy plates of microwaved meat drowned in salty gravy (our guides to the Cotswolds, Cornwall and the Lake District can help avoid this fate). And be sure to book ahead: tables at the best loved spots get snapped up quickly.
My personal criteria include roasted (never steamed) carrots, locally sourced meat, crispy potatoes and a gigantic Yorkshire pudding – not a dessert, but a delightfully fluffy vessel for gravy.
Do: Have tea
A visit to an old-fashioned tea room is a must, the more doilies and bunting the better.
Whenever possible, order a cream tea – the classic combination of tea served with a scone, jam and clotted cream. This is eaten open-sandwich style, scone sliced in half and loaded first with cream and then with jam (unless you are in Cornwall, whose residents prefer the jam topped with cream).
Don't: Take your tea to go
Cardboard cups ruin the experience. Sit down and enjoy your scone.