Tears of gratitude: Mother meets migrant workers who saved daughter from fire
The 47-year-old said: "They (the migrant workers) told me my daughter was unconscious when they rescued her from the third-storey ledge. My daughter is lucky to have had so many heroes here from India and Bangladesh to save her life."
Madam Liu and her husband were at an event that brought together 15 migrant workers and families of the children they rescued.
Twenty-one people were injured in the blaze - 15 children and six adults.
Madam's Liu's daughter was a participant in the Tomato Cooking School's five-day cooking camp when the fire broke out.
"My daughter is among the youngest ones to survive the blaze. It is a very serious accident. I can't imagine such an accident happening in Singapore," Madam Liu added.
The informal get-together was organised by ItsRainingRaincoats, a charity for migrant workers, and held at their charity store at Henderson Road on April 20.
One of the rescuers was Mr Chinnappa Kannadasan, 32, who was at the top of a ladder used in the rescue.
He passed the children one by one to other migrant workers involved in the rescue.
They had used a scaffold from their work site and a ladder to reach those trapped, before firefighers from the Singapore Civil Defence Force arrived.
"Teachers and children were crying out for help. We had no second thoughts. We had to try and rescue them," he said
Mr Victor Ordenes, 45, whose six-year-old daughter was one of those rescued, spoke to the workers.
"If not for you guys, our daughter wouldn't be with us. You have changed our lives."
His wife Rebecca said: "It makes me quite emotional thinking what could have happened if not for these men."
Ms Monica Millington, 34, a young mother was also deeply moved.
"Knowing there were strangers willing to risk their lives to help others reminds us that we should be kind to others and help others when we can. I want to show these heroes that their efforts are recognised," she said.
She presented each of the migrant workers with shirts and pants from her men's wear business. Others gave them cash envelopes, goodie bags and even home-baked brownies
While the migrant workers were touched by the show of appreciation, they shared their sadness over the death of Australian national Freya Ji Yinan, 10, who died in the fire.
Mr Govindaraj Elangeshwaran, 28, one of the migrant workers, said: "We were very happy to meet the children we rescued. But, at the same time, we are sad that we could not rescue that one girl who passed away."
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CNA
7 days ago
- CNA
We must do better': ItsRainingRaincoats founder on 10 years of helping Singapore's migrant workers
No matter where you are in Singapore, or what time it is, you'd have to purposely shut your eyes and cover your ears not to notice migrant workers about. They build our homes, paint our buildings, construct our roads, clean our streets and clear our trash, repair ships, and hold many other jobs. How Singaporeans viewed migrant workers a decade ago was a far cry from today. Then, it was a sentiment laced with indifference, sometimes animosity, suspicion, and even disdain. That negative perception towards migrant workers was one of the reasons Dipa Swaminathan founded ItsRainingRaincoats. 'They build our homes, our roads, our MRT stations – yet for a long time, they were seen but not truly acknowledged,' the 53-year-old Singaporean said. The story has been told many times, but still bears repeating: Over 10 years ago, Dipa was driving home in a thunderstorm when she spotted two workers trying to shield themselves from the rain with nothing but a piece of cardboard. She offered them a lift and gave them her phone number. One of them, Murugan, later called her. He told her that he had been charged with attempted suicide – he had been mistreated by his employers, had fallen into debt, and felt there was no way out. After Dipa, who is a lawyer, helped Murugan get his charges dropped and loans cleared, she felt compelled to continue looking out for migrant workers. She began doing so in her personal capacity but quickly realised she needed a team, and formed ItsRainingRaincoats. Back then, its purpose was simple: Have Singaporeans share what they had with them. A few friends joined her by pooling their items and money to support a few workers. The word about what they were doing to support this marginalised group in Singapore quickly spread and ItsRainingRaincoats slowly grew into a full-fledged movement. THE SHIFT TOWARDS CARING FOR MIGRANT WORKERS 'When we first started ItsRainingRaincoats, the perception of migrant workers was very poor,' Dipa, who works full-time as a legal risk manager, told CNA Women. Most migrant workers in Singapore are employed in physically demanding sectors like construction, shipyards and process industries. These are jobs with long hours and low pay – work that few locals are willing to take on. They usually come from countries such as India, Bangladesh, China and Myanmar. 'It's even in the language,' Dipa added. 'We call them migrant workers, while people who also moved from Bangladesh or other parts of Asia for work, but in white-collar roles, are called expatriates. 'But in reality, they're all here, far from home, working to improve their and their families' lives.' Back in the early 2010s, conversations about migrant workers were almost taboo. 'People barely even acknowledged their existence,' she said. 'And those who did, often chose not to look too closely, despite the fact that Singapore has literally been built on their backs.' I'm reminded of a moment in 2015, when I was in junior college. A friend said she didn't like going to Little India because there were 'too many workers' there, and she didn't feel comfortable. It wasn't just racism, which was bad enough – it was a reflection of a broader perception that migrant workers were out of place, even in the spaces they had helped to build. Worse, I didn't speak up at the time. View this post on Instagram A post shared by ItsRainingRaincoats (@itsrainingraincoats) When I told Dipa this story, she nodded. 'That was the general sentiment back then – and not just among adults. Teenagers, children – many of them had grown up seeing workers as people to ignore, people who are 'meant to work for us'. They weren't seen as equals, let alone as people who deserved dignity, fair wages or inclusion.' To address this, ItsRainingRaincoats has organised countless programmes. They've hosted gatherings for iftar, the fast-breaking evening meal during the fasting month of Ramadan. The team of mostly volunteers has also worked with mosques, temples and churches to provide daily meals for workers and distribute cash donations. Dipa said that all proceeds from their fundraising work go to the workers as extra allowance for their needs, such as getting to the airport from their dormitories, or when they need to see the doctor. The charity has facilitated the gifting of pre-loved items – from fridges to washing machines, bicycles to portable air-conditioners – essentials to most Singaporeans, but often luxuries for workers living on tight budgets. However, while it was heartening to see Singaporeans come together to help migrant workers, Dipa knew that real change doesn't come from organising donation drives. It comes from changing mindsets to include these workers as part of Singapore – a much more arduous task. So ItsRainingRaincoats organised community events where Singapore families could interact directly with workers – family days, shared meals, festive celebrations. For every event, there was a mix of locals and migrant workers to allow genuine connections to form. Many local and international companies also collaborate with ItsRainingRaincoats on corporate social responsibility (CSR) programmes. View this post on Instagram A post shared by ItsRainingRaincoats (@itsrainingraincoats) These include Manager for a Day, where employees help sort and manage the donations ItsRainingRaincoats receives; Makan with Migrant Brothers, where they share a meal and meaningful conversation with migrant workers; and Weekend Outings, where employees accompany workers on recreational trips to places like the zoo, Gardens by the Bay and Universal Studios Singapore. ItsRainingRaincoats also began featuring stories from workers in their own voices and languages. The organisation shared these on social media, in addition to articles and photos. It gave workers the opportunity to speak for themselves, rather than be spoken about. 'We've come a very, very long way,' Dipa said. 'And I'm certain that students in junior college today – even if not all – would think differently [about migrant workers].' MORE SUSTAINABLE SUPPORT FOR MIGRANT WORKERS While ItsRainingRaincoats and other organisations have made a difference in improving how migrant workers are perceived in Singapore, Dipa is clear-eyed about the road ahead. As with any social justice cause, she said, 'there's always room for improvement'. 'When the pandemic happened, so much attention was finally given to the workers because of the horrible conditions they were subjected to in the dormitories,' she said. ItsRainingRaincoats saw an unprecedented surge in public support. Donations poured in – clothes, food, money – and the calls for stronger protection grew louder. Migrant workers became a national topic. Their well-being was discussed in parliament, and people were even discussing their right to be part of the National Day celebrations. 'It was a heartening moment,' Dipa said. 'It showed us that Singaporeans and people living here do care. It made us believe ItsRainingRaincoats could grow even more – the support was real.' Five years after the pandemic, Dipa stresses the importance of sustaining that support. She points to ongoing issues that migrant workers continue to face, starting with one that's been raised again and again: Unsafe transportation. 'Lorries,' she said. ' Unsafe transportation is such a frustrating topic for so many members of the public. This has been going on for so long, and yet, in the last 10 years, so many deaths have still happened this way. 'We sit in the comfort of our cars and we feel a collective shame and guilt every time something happens, but the system still hasn't changed.' Then, there's the matter of wages. She shared that from her ongoing conversations with workers, some still earn as little as S$18 a day. That's for a full day's worth of intense, physically demanding labour under the brutal sun. And even then, she said: 'Many don't get paid on time.' She gives an example of a painter she knows – someone who works on towering buildings, 30 floors up. 'These men haul their own 60- to 70-kilogram bodies, along with more weight of gear. Everything depends on the strength of a single rope. 'It's not a thrill-seeking bungee jump – it's their job. They do it every single day, hanging outside buildings to paint our homes, our malls, our offices. 'And yet, who's checking the safety of that rope? Who's ensuring they don't die while painting the places we live in? 'Earning S$18 a day for that kind of risk doesn't just make it hard to save, it makes basic survival a challenge,' she said. 'Soap, toiletries, clothes, medicine, even Wi-Fi to call home – all of it has to come out of that.' Still, Dipa remains committed. As most of these are policy-related issues, ItsRainingRaincoats, along with other migrant workers' rights and support organisations like Transient Workers Count Too and Migrant Workers' Centre, attend sessions with Members of Parliament and other key decision-makers to address these concerns. 'Some of these issues seem bleak, and I have more questions than answers these days. But the key is to keep going. We have to keep going. We must do better as a society.' PASSING THE MANTLE TO THE NEXT TEAM Dipa started ItsRainingRaincoats with just a few trusted friends. Today, it has two full-time staff and is supported by hundreds of regular volunteers and thousands of ad-hoc ones, many of whom are willing to dip into their own pockets to buy items or offer help whenever a worker is in need. 'So much time has passed since then. I'm 10 years older, my boys are all grown up, and my mum is now 91,' she said. 'It's incredibly heartwarming to see so many people come together for this often overlooked corner of our community.' Dipa's sons are 20 and 17 years old. 'There's no 'out of office' for ItsRainingRaincoats,' she said, half laughing. 'As a lawyer, I can switch off. But for this, I'm always reachable. It's been hard and relentless some days, juggling caregiving, raising my sons and managing my day job, but I feel a debt to the workers, so I've never turned my back on them. 'We've created a kind of social net, and if we stop doing what we do, that net disappears.' Despite the challenges, she chooses to focus on ItsRainingRaincoats' bright spots and impact, and the passion of the young. 'There's a natural empathy in young people,' she said. 'They see something unfair, and they instinctively want to do something about it.' The challenge, she said, is keeping that interest alive. 'Sometimes it's easy to want to give up and feel as though nothing's really changed,' she said. 'But looking back at these 10 years, I realised that so much has changed. Now, many people in Singapore show up for the people who built – and continue to build – our country. 'Seeing them, I'm filled with hope. And that's what keeps me going forward.'
AsiaOne
28-06-2025
- AsiaOne
There's 'mum guilt', but what about dads? As fatherhood loomed, one man felt guilt and 'grief', Lifestyle News
Hands up — how many of us mums have felt the familiar pang of 'mum guilt'? I remember going back to work after maternity leave and feeling a surge of complicated emotions whenever photos of my baby's milestones were sent to me. The emotion of guilt bubbled to the fore whenever I was invited to social events, which meant taking away more time from my son. "Is it too much to want some 'me time' or enjoy myself while someone else is taking care of my child?" I'd think. According to online sources, the feeling of 'mum guilt' is commonly experienced as the feeling of not doing enough and falling short of expectations — be it of society's, those around us or our own. The emotion is often manifested as shame, regret and self-reproach, reported Australian news network ABC on the topic. But it also made me wonder about this idea of 'dad guilt'. Do dads feel the equivalent emotion, and is it possible they feel it as intensely as their wives? According to an article on Touch Community Services' website in June this year, dad guilt is more common than people might think and can "significantly affect the emotional and mental well-being of fathers". This can feel like spending time with the kids is at the cost of being an effective financial provider, or not wanting to take time out for themselves, the article stated. It added that dads can feel "an immense pressure to 'compensate' for their time away at work by dedicating every moment at home to family, viewing their personal time as a luxury they can't afford". Yes, dads feel guilt too A straw poll of some fathers around me revealed that for the most part, they do experience guilt, though whether it matches the intensity felt by their wives is to be debated. In fact, men can experience emotions that are just as complex, which women might not be aware of. Sometimes, these emotions can manifest themselves even before the baby's birth. New parent Marc Teo was elated at welcoming his son — who was born on May 15 — to the world, but knowing that he was about to become a father and be responsible for another life triggered something unexpected in the 33-year-old business coach. In a Facebook post published on May 19, he wrote that with impending fatherhood, he began "reflecting and setting goals" for himself, and that was when he started to feel some discomfort in his body. "I started feeling tense: my chest felt tight, my breathing grew heavy, and [I] entered a deep state of sadness," he stated. Turning to AI for a "diagnosis", Marc realised that he was "grieving". "It felt I was saying goodbye to an old version of myself," he wrote, adding in a separate Instagram post that "it felt like I might lose the life I loved — five-figure months, travelling around the world, etc." [embed] Speaking to AsiaOne, Marc shared that he'd experienced 'dad guilt' even before his baby's arrival, as he worried over whether he was doing enough for his pregnant wife and if he'd be able to provide financially for his family. "A lot of internal pressure showed up," he admitted. "But through coaching and a lot of reflection, I started to realise — it's not about having it all figured out. I might not be perfect, but I can keep showing up, keep improving and take it one step at a time," said Marc, who shared that he constantly checks in with his wife on how he can make her life easier. However, he reflected that guilt isn't always a bad thing. "It actually showed me that I care and is a signal that I want to be better and be present. So instead of running from the discomfort, I learned to sit with it," said Marc, who also practised gratitude and a process of "reframing" his mindset to cope. Now just over a month into becoming a new dad, he says he is slowly adjusting to his new schedule. "At times I still feel like I'm not doing as much as I could, especially when I see what my wife is managing. But I try to view that thought as something to grow from, not beat myself up over," he reflected. "All that said, holding my kid gives me perspective and reminds me of what matters at the end of the day." 'Anticipatory grief' and anxiety Psychologist Gifford Chan shared with AsiaOne that many of Teo's thoughts and feelings are "very valid" and that he could be experiencing a form of "anticipatory grief" at the possibility of losing his freedom and anxiety about the adjustment to being a father. "Welcoming a baby into the family for the first time is a big life-changing experience. Many fathers struggle to accept and understand this change," said Gifford, who owns his own private practice, Psychology Matters. He suggested that men experiencing these emotions talk openly with their wives on her expectations and what they hope to do for the family. "Reaching a common understanding on how they want to take care of the child, down to the nitty gritty of vaccines, breastfeeding or formula, financial priorities and input from parents and in-laws are also important," Gifford stressed. More essentially, couples should prioritise their marital relationship and take small pockets of time to continue building it, he added. The approach mirrors what Teo practised to help him address the guilt he feels whenever he's away from his family. One of them is setting expectations with his wife and grounding himself on principles they'd agreed upon as a couple. "I know that when I'm not working, I'm fully there [with my family], and that helped me address the guilt over the past few months especially," he told AsiaOne. Shifting parental roles Among the five dads AsiaOne spoke to, most of them acknowledge that evolving parental roles have made these emotions more salient, as the lines between "mum" and "dad" are no longer as defined as they once were. "I suppose the main role of dads back then was to provide financially, maybe only stepping in for serious matters of discipline. But for the day-to-day, it was definitely mum," said Marc. Entrepreneur Dave (not his real name), whose daughter is nine, echoed this, sharing how he grew up in a traditional household with his dad as the financial provider and mum the primary caregiver — a clear division of roles that feels outdated in his own family. "Personally, I've always disliked the notion of fixed roles as defined by society and lean much more heavily towards what I think will benefit our family," he said. Some fathers also shared with AsiaOne that most of the guilt they feel is over the lack of quality of time with their kids — a situation not unfamiliar with working mothers. Dave, whose daughter is nine eight [C: she turns nine in Nov], knows this to be true — especially on days when he feels he hasn't been present enough with his family. The feeling also surfaces when he thinks he's been too harsh on his daughter for misbehaving. He admitted to feeling particularly remorseful when he realises belatedly that "the severity was influenced more by my mood at the time instead of being proportionate to her perceived transgression". Gifford, who himself is a father of two kids below 12, revealed that he experiences similar emotions even as a mental health practitioner. "Especially when in my line of work, the more I work, the more I can potentially earn," he admitted. "This directly clashes with my desire to spend time with my kids, whether through play or simply chatting." He admitted to feeling envious of his wife on occasion, as she works from home and gets to see the children more. The concept of having 'me time' is also not exclusive to mums, and neither is the resulting guilt. Said Gifford: "When I return from work, there's also a [internal] struggle on whether I should spend the little time I have with the kids or to relax and wind down for the day." According to Joel Wong, assistant manager at Touch Counselling & Psychological Services, Touch Community Services, both dad guilt and mum guilt stem from the feeling that they're not doing enough. "As fathers carry out the role of being the family provider, they may frequently experience dad guilt, believing that they're not doing enough to care for their family's needs and spending quality time with them," said Joel. The increased advocacy for fathers to be involved at home as well as the evolving societal expectations of dads may contribute to the growing feelings of dad guilt. Said Joel: "This can be a novel experience or struggle for many fathers to grapple with, prompting difficult questions such as, 'will prioritising my family affect my career?' or 'if my career is affected as a result of being more present with my family, does it impact my ability to provide for them?'" The idea that 'dad guilt' exists is shared by Swetha Vigraham, founder of Bricks & Blocks Coaching and host of the Everyday Parenting podcast. In a written commentary on the topic, she added further insight that the way 'dad guilt' manifests can be slightly different in men than in women. While mums tend to question if they're doing enough for their children, fathers frequently turn to the more existential question of "What am I doing?" and how they can contribute. Mums also often face the pressure of meeting pre-conceived notions in society of how mothers should be, whereas fathers may grapple with feeling inadequate in the parenting arena, said Swetha. Joel told AsiaOne that today's fathers are not just providers; their role now significantly includes supporting their children's emotional, social and mental well-being. Juggling these multifaceted responsibilities can take a toll on their mental health. "While mothers have long played the role of balancing work and home, it may seem fathers now have a lot of catching up to do," he said. To alleviate the mental stress and pressure of being a parent, Touch Counselling & Psychological Services encourages dads to share their struggles and concerns with their spouse and seek emotional support from loved ones to manage feelings of dad guilt. However, if the emotions are overwhelming, making it difficult to cope, it is best to seek professional help, Joel said. candicecai@
CNA
12-06-2025
- CNA
NDP 2025: SCDF to field guard of honour contingent for the first time
There will be an additional guard of honour contingent at this year's National Day Parade. For the first time, the Singapore Civil Defence Force will be marching alongside the armed forces and police. In celebrating Singapore's 60th year of independence, the parade will feature the most number of marching contingents at the Padang since 1990. This year's parade and ceremony segment will feature more than 2,000 participants. Charlotte Lim reports.
