An acronym with a rather different usage in Glasgow

The Herald Scotland

12-05-2025

Reader Bert Houliston worked with a chap from Irvine who was a film buff, and regularly visited the Glasgow Film Theatre to watch arty and classic flicks.
As Diary readers will be aware, the cinema in question is referred to by the abbreviation GFT.
'However, my colleague never quite got it right,' says Bert. 'The G was always first, but he transposed the next two letters, resulting in an acronym with a rather different usage in Glasgow…'
Downhill racer
There was a time when former Scottish footy star Duncan Ferguson was known for his physicality on the pitch.
When he clattered into a player on a rival team they stayed clattered… and sometimes they were more splattered than clattered.
However, as Chaz Darwin pointed out, people are apt to evolve, even Big Dunc.
Nowadays he's more cerebral than Cerberus, and has authored a book upon a subject about which he has a great deal of expertise… himself.
The scrapper turned scholar recently discussed his reckless younger self, and admitted that his biggest regret was 'touching the booze'.
Stevie Campbell from Hamilton has a great deal of sympathy, and says:
'I've had a few unsavoury moments on the swally, myself.
'My biggest regret, however, is leaving the womb. It's been all downhill since then.'
Read more:
Browned off
It is common knowledge that Scottish people are the most attractive in the world.
On the tropical beach in summertime we're invariably the recipient of jealous jibes, as the citizens of less gorgeous nations glare covetously at our ginger hair, rash-red skin and zits.
What's less well known is the amount of diligence and care that goes into maintaining your average Scottish Adonis or Aphrodite.
For example, reader David Morrow visited the pharmacist and overheard a member of staff telling her colleagues that her sunburnt skin had now peeled off, 'but the worst bit is that my fake tan came off too'.
Deedee Cuddihy was in Whiteinch, and came across this car number plate. She's not sure if it's meant to be an ebullient and friendly explosion of laughter, or perhaps the more threatening: 'Haw, you…' (Image: Deedee Cuddihy)
Talking balls
Generous Emily Collins gave her husband a stress ball for his birthday, leading him to ask:
'Is this for chucking at people who annoy me?'
Train of thought
Perusing the TV channels to see if there was anything that would ease him relatively painlessly through the evening, Ian Noble from Carstairs Village noticed a documentary titled: New Zealand by Train.
'Wow,' thought Ian, 'how long will that take from Carstairs?'
Size matters
"I've a new hobby,' says reader Barry Houghton. 'I flick through boxes of After Eight mints pretending I'm a giant DJ."