Were Americans Ever Really Healthy?
More than a century later, the same debates are still raging, but the party lines are more complicated. Doctors have embraced lighter eating, influencers exist for every lifestyle choice under the sun, and US public-health departments are overseen by their own influencer, who touts the health virtues of beef fat and shows off his physique. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s role as secretary of the US Department of Health and Human Services has brought his often contrarian views in direct conversation with government policy — as encapsulated in the initiative known as Make America Healthy Again.
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7 Things a Trauma-Informed Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Doing ASAP originally appeared on Parade. "I turned out fine." "They'll never remember this time, anyway."These lines may offer reassurance to parents and grandparents. However, one psychologist notes it's essential to recognize that what happens in early childhooddoes indeed matter."The brain goes through its most rapid period of development in the first few years of life, and parents play a critical role in shaping the neural pathways that will impact children for the rest of their lives," explains Dr. Emily Guarnotta, Psy.D., a psychologist who uses trauma-informed techniques and is the co-founder of Phoenix Health. "From a trauma-informed perspective, providing a consistent, nurturing and predictable environment and relationship for children helps foster a secure attachment."On the other hand, she warns that environments marked by fear, unpredictability and neglect wire a child's brain for threat and be clear, no one is saying anyone has to be perfect. That's impossible and sets an untenable standard for children to try to emulate. The goal is to raise children who feel safe, even during challenging times, and have the ability to self-regulate their emotions. To help explain this, Dr. Guarnotta shares seven things she wishes parents and grandparents would stop doingso that they don't sabotage these 7 Things Grandparents and Parents Should Stop Doing ASAP, According to a Trauma-Informed Psychologist 1. Dismissing a child's feelings Class dismissed? Not when it comes to teaching emotional regulation, a process that begins early and involves being mindful not to invalidate a child's feelings."This can involve saying things like, 'You're overreacting,' 'Stop crying' or 'It's not that big of a deal,'" explains Dr. Guarnotta. "When we dismiss a child's feelings, we send the message that their emotions are 'wrong.'"Sure, drinking milk from a blue cup instead of a green cup doesn't seem like a big deal to you as an adult. However, kids are not mini-adults, and their disappointment—while not cause to start hitting you—is real to them. Telling them they can't hit is fine, but telling them something is "NBD" is harmful when done constantly."This can cause them to mistrust themselves and impact their emotion regulation skills," she says. "It can also negatively affect the child/caregiver bond, since children feel misunderstood rather than supported."Related: 2. Using punishments to spark fear and shame Some of these punishments may sound familiar and remind you of your childhood. However, Dr. Guarnotta says we know better these days and encourages caregivers to do better by the next generation of humans. "This can involve putting your hands on a child by spanking them, giving them the silent treatment or using hurtful words," she says. "These methods of punishment activate the fight-flight-freeze response. When a child is afraid, they are unable to learn the lesson that you are trying to teach them."Unfortunately, she warns that these punishments can damage your relationship with a child and teach them to use power and intimidation to solve problems with others. 3. Forcing affection If your child or grandchild doesn't want to hug Uncle Joey—or you—that's more than okay."Pushing a child to hug or kiss a family member when they are hesitant or say no teaches them that they should ignore their own feelings in order to please an adult," Dr. Guarnotta says. "Physical touch is one of the earliest and most important lessons in healthy boundaries. Instead of pressuring your child, you can say, 'Would you like to hug your uncle?' If your child says no, respect their decision." 4. Comparing your child When it comes to raising kids, comparison is more than the thief of joy. It can damage the relationship they have with the person you're putting on a pedestal and rob them of self-esteem."Comparing your child to a sibling or someone else can lead to resentment and feelings of inadequacy," Dr. Guarnotta points out. "It can also damage sibling relationships and lead children to seek external validation to prove their worth."Related: 5. Praising the outcome instead of the effort This one is sneaky, and even the most well-meaning grandparents and parents do it. It doesn't make you a bad person, but Dr. Guarnotta suggests taking a mindful approach to praise."When a child comes home with an 'A,' praising the outcome might sound like 'Good job on that A!' while praising the effort might sound like, 'You worked so hard to get that A,'" she what's the issue? Hear her out."While praising the outcome is well-intentioned, it can lead children to tie their self-worth to their performance, fear failure, avoid challenges and seek constant praise," she points out. 6. Overlooking the importance of play Again, even the best parents and grandparents may have this blind spot. Signing kids up for sports, music lessons and other structured activities is often done out of love and an attempt to have them find their "things" or get into a "good" college. "There is a strong push today for children to get involved in structured activities and academics," Dr. Guarnotta structured activities are fine—great even—and a child may adore them. Still, balance is key. Play isn't frivolous."While there is value in these activities, unstructured play is important for helping children process their experiences, learn problem-solving skills and develop social-emotional skills," she says. "When children are stressed, play can help them cope with their emotions and work things out." 7. Not attending to *your* emotional needs Surprised to see this one here? Don't be. You're a parent or a grandparent—not a martyr. Your needs matter too and will help you meet a child's needs."Many caregivers today are stressed, exhausted and even burnt out," Dr. Guarnotta reports. "The problem with this is that children rely on their caregivers to help them co-regulate, or regulate their own emotions."She shares that children can pick up on their caregivers' chronic stress, anxiety and anger."Their nervous system will mirror ours," she reveals. "It's important to model how to recognize and cope with our own emotions." Taking a minute to take a deep breath or tapping out for a quick walk when a partner comes home can offer a reset that helps you better show up for a The Most Impactful Thing You Can Do With Your Kids and Grandkids Today Dr. Guarnotta wants parents and grandparents to understand the importance of repair after rupture. Remember how we said no parent or grandparent is perfect? That's because it's true. You're bound to mess up."We all have moments where we lose our tempers, say the wrong things or dismiss a loved one's feelings," she explains. "These moments are called 'ruptures' in our relationships with our children. While we do want to minimize ruptures, they cannot be avoided entirely."That's where repair comes in."The goal is to repair when they do happen," she says. "Repairing ruptures shows children that relationships are resilient, it's OK to make mistakes and conflicts can be worked out. It also models empathy, accountability and forgiveness, which are important life skills."For instance, apologizing for raising your voice and telling a child to "calm down" about getting the blue cup instead of the green cup is a good example of repair. Then, validate that it must have been disappointing, and that you'll work on taking a deep breath before raising your voice next time—and following Next:Source: Dr Emily Guarnotta, Psy.D., a psychologist who uses trauma-informed techniques and is the co-founder of Phoenix Health. 7 Things a Trauma-Informed Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Doing ASAP first appeared on Parade on Aug 3, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 3, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword
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