
Cotillion Society of Detroit celebrates confidence, culture through debutante ball
Founded in 2009 by Renita Clark, The Cotillion Society of Detroit Educational Foundation offers more than gowns and galas. It provides a rite of passage for young women across metro Detroit. Since its inception, the program has helped hundreds of teens develop confidence, character, and a deep sense of community pride.
"For 16 years, it's been more than a ball," Clark says. "It has just been incredible."
Kennedy King, a junior at Cass Technical High School, is one of the society's most recent debutantes. King says the experience has been transformational.
"The Cotillion Society has provided me with so much confidence in myself," King says. "This world is meant for us. No matter if you try to take us away from it, segregate us, we have our spaces, and those spaces are valuable."
Beyond the elegance of the annual ball at Detroit's historic Masonic Temple, participants spend months preparing, attending etiquette classes, leadership workshops and completing community service projects. The program aims to instill not only social grace but also social responsibility.
Clark, a former debutante herself, founded the organization when her daughter was just a year old after realizing Detroit lacked a citywide debutante program.
"It was important for me to create a platform for [my daughter] to make a formal debut in the city of Detroit," she says.
While debutante balls originated in 18th-century Europe as a way to introduce young women to potential suitors, Clark says the tradition has taken on new meaning, particularly in the Black community.
"We've transitioned that definition into a platform where young women can be celebrated for their accomplishments as they reach womanhood," she says.
With every twirl across the ballroom, the debutantes of today honor the generations before them continuing a proud legacy of Black womanhood in Detroit and beyond.
For Dr. Clark, it's personal.
"All of my children were born and raised here. My late husband was a die-hard Detroiter. This is home," she says.
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
18 hours ago
- Yahoo
Are Black Mothers Ruining Their Boys?
I am my mother's oldest son. I love who I am today, and despite many issues, she shaped me. My father was gone for goodcby the time I was 10. Even when he was around, he only taught me what I didn't want to be. I love Black mothers, and what I'm bringing up here is a discussion, not a critique. Over years of observations and recent conversations, I've noticed a pattern. Some people may be familiar with the cliche: Black mothers raise their daughters and love their sons. I hadn't heard it before, but I immediately understood it when I did. Several women in my life believe their mothers favor their brothers. The girls were expected to achieve more academically, have more chores, and be more independent. The boys are coddled in a way the girls are not afforded. This isn't just some bias specific to these women. I've seen it with my own eyes. One woman, although the youngest child, was expected to cook, clean, and iron her mother's clothes while her brothers played video games. I remember her telling me that for Christmas, she received a pack of Oreo cookies while her brothers received something more substantial. Even as an adult, she is expected to solve every family problem. I've also seen this in the classroom when teaching siblings. Although this isn't always the case, I'm much more likely to see a mother struggle to believe her son is doing something 'bad'. 'Not my baby!' is a phrase I've heard from many mothers almost exclusively when I'm calling about their sons. I recently received a video in which a man argued that Black mothers were ruining their sons because they loved on them too much for too long. He argued they are raising boys, not men, and went on to say the mothers wouldn't even date the type of man they are raising. Love is a good thing. It is a crucial thing, but everything in moderation. Love your son, but don't hide him from the real world. Make him work. Allow him to fail. Have the same expectations for success you would have for your daughter. Research shows it is possible to love your children too much. A bit of frustration and struggle in childhood creates adults who are better able to navigate the real world. When kids are overly protected, they struggle on deciding career paths and relationships. Depression, anxiety, and emptiness are all common symptoms. The brother of the woman mentioned earlier is going through this right now. He is 40 years old, living at home, depressed, angry, and with no hope for the future. His sister is independent, career-driven, and financially successful. Is the cliche true? I acknowledge my bubble, and even within that, there are exceptions to the rule. If reading this, I would love to know your experiences, but I did decide to do a bit of research before throwing out my observation. A 2010 study broached this topic. They took 1500 kids with Black mothers, and the results show there are some significant differences between sons and daughters, especially if we ignore boys who are born first. Boys who are born first and girls end up with similar results, but boys who are born later stand out. 'The results showed that later-born boys had fewer chores, argued more with their mothers, lived in less cognitively stimulating homes, and were not allowed to make the same decisions as were the girls or firstborn boys at the same age. The later-born boys were also lowest in achievement and highest in externalizing behaviors.' -source Although again we are working with a smaller sample size, it does suggest there is some truth to the idea that 'boys are being loved too much.' But why do mothers favor their sons? There isn't an easy answer to any of this, but I've found a common thread in my personal bubble and online. There seems to be an attempt to shield these boys from a harsh, racist world. Some people argue Black men have it harder, especially when we look at the prison system. Police brutality is a rampant problem for everyone, but Black people, and especially Black men, are disproportionately the victims. The justice system was built to criminalize and punish Black men to the extreme. From this angle, it isn't hard to see why a mother would want to shield her son from that world. The way a mother perceives the world likely impacts how she treats her son, but the way she perceives Black men will likely have just as much impact. Centuries of propaganda and perhaps personal experiences may teach Black women to believe Black men can't succeed. They are going to end up in a gang, or jail, etc. Why push him to succeed if he can't succeed? One study shows Black mothers have lower expectations for their sons and believe them to be less academically competent. This study consisted of 334 African American mothers from diverse backgrounds. Some were married, some were from urban areas, etc. This supports what I generally see in the classroom. On average, Black mothers are more likely to push their sons when they are athletes. In relation to this mindset, mothers push their daughters so hard because of the same belief, men will fail you. Black women have to be successful, independent, and educated to conquer the world. Men raised by those same parents enter the world with only the goal of surviving and staying out of trouble. Sadly, in many situations, this mindset hurts everyone. Once they grow up, many of these successful daughters are expected to raise these sons, who were never raised by their mothers. Despite my claims here, every situation is different. This isn't an indictment on how anyone is raising their children. I also need to point out while doing research, I saw some pretty negative comments, especially toward Black women. I'm relatively certain those people just look for any reason to attack Black women because the comments didn't relate to the actual topic. To be clear, this is about Black people, and people in general, as a whole. I encourage people to join the conversation, but please keep your unrelated hatred to yourself. Motherhood is hard. They are expected to be perfect and receive most of the blame whenever something goes wrong. In comparison, fathers are rewarded for doing the bare minimum. (Have you ever seen a father go to the grocery store with the kids?) Mothers usually do the best they can with the tools they receive. I doubt any mother is consciously favoring their sons, especially if they understand how it may impact them in adulthood. Hopefully, this works as another tool, something to consider while navigating the most difficult job in the world. This post originally appeared on Medium and is edited and republished with author's permission. Read more of LG Ware's work on Medium. Solve the daily Crossword


Chicago Tribune
19 hours ago
- Chicago Tribune
Heidi Stevens: After a child leaves the nest, you get the privilege of parenting the new version of them
My friend Jason is getting ready to drop off his daughter, his firstborn child, at college. And by 'getting ready,' I mean crying himself to sleep at night and asking strangers what to do. Normal. If there's another way to do it, I certainly don't know it. 'I feel like the dad in 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding,'' he texted me the other day. 'WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME?!?!?!?' Even though, of course, he wants her to leave him. Even though, of course, he wants her to want to leave him. 'It's an odd feeling when your heart is simultaneously swelling with pride,' he texted, 'and also being ripped out of your chest.' I call that feeling parenting. You meet your child for the first time and suddenly the world is absolutely beautiful and mind-blowing and magical and your heart is exploding with love and gratitude and awe. And also, at the exact same moment, your heart is breaking in half because one day, lots of days, actually, your child is going to go out and enjoy that absolutely beautiful, mind-blowing, magical world. Without you. What a terrible system. Who thought of this? 'Several people have told us, 'You're not supposed to let her see you cry. Don't cry until after you leave,'' Jason texted. Nonsense, I texted back. Cry your eyes out in front of her if you want to. It's OK to let her see that your world changed forever the day she was born and your world changed forever the day she went to kindergarten and camp and prom and that one party but all those times she came back to you. And this time she won't. At least not for a while. 'I've told her already that no matter how much of an idiot I make of myself,' Jason texted, 'she has to know how proud I am of her and how excited I am for her.' She will. She does. Last year, I wrote a column full of wisdom for launching your kid after high school, collected from readers who had already done so. Chicagoan Allison Clark offered a story about her own experience being dropped off at college: 'My parents unloaded my stuff into my dorm room and then my dad basically hugged me, said goodbye and abruptly left to head back to the car,' Clark wrote. 'My mother stayed a little bit longer and then left as well. 'Months later,' she continued, 'I told my mom that I was a little hurt that my dad left so quickly when they dropped me off. 'Oh, Allison,' my mom said. 'Your dad was about to cry, and he didn't want to cry in front of you. He was very proud about not ever being seen crying.'' Ah. 'I will forever be grateful that she shared that insight with me,' Clark wrote. 'Because it both corrected my memory of what had happened and made me feel so much more understanding of his experience as a parent. It also meant that when I dropped my own child off in that same freshman dorm 34 years later, I made sure to both linger and openly cry before I left.' Two months after I wrote that column, I dropped my daughter at college for the first time. I didn't cry when we pulled up to her dorm. I didn't cry as I unpacked her clothes and folded them into little piles to line her dorm room dresser drawers and had flashbacks of folding her onesies into little piles to line her nursery dresser drawers. I didn't cry when we went to get our nails done together one last time before the old chapter officially ended and the new chapter officially began. I didn't cry when we walked to get iced coffees and I pictured all the times she'd go to that coffee shop and place that coffee order and I wouldn't even know she was there unless she used my PayPal account, which, in the end, happened most of the time. I didn't even cry when I hugged her goodbye. I did cry when I was all alone on the drive home and Luke Combs came on my radio. Mostly because she and I spent part of the drive on the way to college (and the years leading up to that drive to college) singing his songs together at the top of our lungs. But the timing of the tears had nothing to do with hiding what I was feeling from her. The tears came — and come — when they decide to. In a few days I'll drop her at college for the second time. I don't know if it will feel harder or easier. I've heard both. And I don't have a lot of wisdom to share with Jason or any of my other friends who are doing it for the first time, except this one thing. A few weeks ago, my daughter and I stood side by side singing Luke Combs together at the top of our lungs in Grant Park, where he was performing at Lollapalooza. And that was a moment when the world felt absolutely beautiful and mind-blowing and magical and my heart was exploding with love and gratitude and awe. And also, at the exact same moment, my heart started healing in some of the cracked places. Because I realized that after they go out and enjoy that absolutely beautiful, mind-blowing, magical world without us, they come back different. Smarter, probably. Stronger, hopefully. And we get to fall in love with the new them. Over and over again.


Chicago Tribune
2 days ago
- Chicago Tribune
IREAD scores improve to record level statewide
State education leaders are celebrating the biggest increase in third grade IREAD literacy scores in the exam's history, which dates back to 2013. During Wednesday's State Board of Education meeting, officials attributed the success, in part, to funding from the Lilly Endowment and the General Assembly to improve literacy, which has lagged behind in recent years. Based on spring and summer retests, results showed 87.3% of the state's 73,500 third graders demonstrated proficient reading skills. The DOE didn't release data on the number of third graders being held back. They represent the first group who could be impacted by a 2024 state law calling for them to be retained if they don't pass the IREAD. It could be significant in some of Lake County's urban schools, especially in the Gary Community School Corp. where all the elementary schools fell below the state proficiency pass rate and two schools — Beveridge and Williams — each posted pass rates of 48.6%. Officials said the retention data would be released in October. All of Gary's charter schools fell below the state pass rate, too, but performed above the traditional district's scores. Among charter schools, just Discovery Charter School in Porter beat the state pass rate. Exemptions were carved out for a student who's already been retained in third grade; a student with an intellectual disability; a student who passed the math portion of the ILEARN; and a student who received intensive reading help for two or more school years and already retained in second grade. Third graders in all seven of Porter County's traditional school districts eclipsed the state pass rate and in Lake County, 10 of 16 districts surpassed the state pass rate. In Porter County, four schools scored 100% pass rates — Jackson in the Duneland School Corp. and Jefferson, Central and Cooks Corner in the Valparaiso Community Schools. In the private Diocese of Gary, 11 of 17 schools in Lake and Porter counties posted 100% pass rates. They include Aquinas, St. John the Evangelist, St. Mary Catholic Community, St. Stanislaus, St. Mary, St. John the Baptist, Our Lady of Grace, St. Thomas More. St. Patrick, Nativity of Our Savior, and St. Paul. 'Indiana has made extraordinary progress from where we began just a few years ago, when nearly one in five Indiana third graders could not read, to today when literacy rates have increased by nearly five percentage points in just one year,' said Katie Jenner, Indiana secretary of education in a press release. State board member Patrick Mapes, the Hamilton Southeastern superintendent, hailed the progress. 'This is monumental as far as the state is concerned,' he said. 'The next thing is harder; how do we gain again in the next school year? It doesn't end; students can't take a break.' The state's goal is 95% proficiency on the IREAD. This year's results marked the first time literacy rates increased for all student populations, including 7.5% for Black, Hispanic and special education students. Officials credited requiring IREAD testing at the second grade level to help teachers identify if students are on track to read by the end of third grade. They also praised the Indiana Literacy Cadre, a partnership between the state, the University of Indianapolis's Center of Excellence in Leadership of Learning and Marian University's Center for Vibrant Schools. The cadre provides early elementary teachers with instructional coaching and support in alignment with the science of reading, an evidence-based curriculum. The Lilly Endowment provided about $170 million for the cadre in 2022. To learn more, visit IREAD Assessment Results at: 2024 2025 State average 82.5% 87.3% Lake County Hanover Central 90.5% 93.4% River Forest 79.7% 86.2% Merrillville 79.5% 80.3% Lake Central 91.8% 93.1% Tri-Creek 92.2% 94.8% Lake Ridge 62.7% 65.5% Crown Point 92.4% 94.6% East Chicago 56.2% 62.6% Lake Station 80.3% 79% Gary 49.2% 55.3% Griffith 88.6% 91% Hammond 63.1% 69.6% Highland 85.2% 88% Hobart 82% 88.7% Munster 93.8% 97.6% Whiting 86.4% 96.6 Boone Township 89.9% 98.7% Duneland 93.1% 95.2% East Porter 87.8% 97.6% Porter Twp. 94.6% 94.4% Union Twp. 94.3% 96.5% Portage Twp. 78.1% 89.3% Valparaíso 94.4% 97.5% Charter School of Dunes 48.6% 71.3% Thea Bowman 89.1% 75% Gary Lighthouse 47.1% 77.9% 21st Century 60.8% 75.9% East Chicago Urban Ent. 79.1% 75.6% East Chicago Lighthouse 43.4% 69.2% Aspire 76.7% 72.9% Discovery Charter 86.3% 91.9%