
My petty gripe: I don't begrudge your coffee addiction – but do you have to be such a bore about it?
Does it really need a mention on your dating profile, as though a fondness for hot brown liquid is a personality trait?
Is a coffee not truly a coffee unless it's conjured from scratch by a barista? And do you really need to be such a grump in the morning if you don't get it?
Should you really be entitled to an extra hour's work break so you can stand in a lengthy cafe queue both morning and afternoon? (Before you delay yet another work meeting in favour of a protracted caffeine-foraging mission, let me introduce you to the office espresso machine and – don't give me that look – this jar of instant coffee.)
Sure, you want an excuse to gossip with your colleagues*, get some fresh air, get your daily steps in or leave your lonely work-from-home station to have the only in-person interaction you'll have all day. All very worthy causes.
But then on the weekend you'll make me tag along with you while you search for another overpriced cafe coffee just 20 minutes after you imbibed the first because the milk in the first cup of joe was under-steamed and you simply can't continue with your day until you've overridden that abomination with a quality flat white.
Or on our camping trip you'll snub the moka pot-brewed campfire coffee and jump in your car and drive out of the wilderness to the nearest town to buy an artisanal long black in a takeaway cup. Waiting for you to return from your one-and-a-half-hour round trip ate up most of our precious morning, Peter!
Granted, I don't know much about latte art, but I do know swans belong at liberty on shimmering lakes, not confined atop your morning beverage.
As the world descends deeper into economic hardship, environmental doom and the clutches of authoritarian nutjobs, coffee snobbery inexplicably endures and strengthens, like cockroaches after the apocalypse.
Apologies if I sound a bit bitter, tired and irritable, as though I have a mild headache coming on. Perhaps a shot of single-origin locally roasted ristretto will sort me out.
* This article does not reflect any of my Guardian Australia colleagues – I love you all

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Daily Mail
2 days ago
- Daily Mail
Chef's secret: Why scrambled eggs are ALWAYS better at restaurants - and it's not what you might think
Scrambled eggs are one of the simplest dishes a home cook can learn to make. And yet, there's often a vast difference in the quality of scrambled eggs cooked at home compared to those served up at a café or restaurant. A post in a foodie forum on this very subject ignited passionate online discussion after a man asked 'Why are scrambled eggs at restaurants always so good?'. He detailed how 'amazing' scrambled eggs taste when he ordered them at a café or restaurant, but lamented being unable to 'replicate them at home'. He praised the brunch favourite for having a moist texture and soft, mild flavour, which was in stark contrast to his homemade version, which he said usually 'tends to be dry and have a stronger flavour'. The home cook also noted that scrambled eggs at a café 'stick' perfectly to the toast, while at home the eggs 'just fall off' the bread. The community quickly chimed in to help, with the post attracting almost 1000 responses. Initially, the presumed answer was that restaurants cook their scrambled eggs with 'an ungodly amount of butter', or added lashings of salt, milk or cream. But surprisingly, many professional cooks disagreed. They explained that in the specific instance of scrambled eggs, the difference between homemade and professional quality often boiled down to technique - rather than fancy additional ingredients. One detailed reply from a professional chef read: '[D]efinitely no milk or cream in the eggs. Just eggs scrambled up until they're homogeneous.' The chef offered a detailed step-by-step explanation for achieving this perfect scrambled egg consistency - starting by beating the eggs well in a bowl with a whisk. 'Once my egg pan is hot (water sizzles away but doesn't dance), I put in a couple of nice knobs of butter, like at least a tablespoon or so, and let the butter melt and coat the pan. 'Once the butter has stopped foaming, I add the eggs and season with a decent pinch of kosher salt... and a few turns of fresh cracked black pepper and start cooking them.' Using a 'silicone spatula' to move the eggs around the pan, the professional cook explained that the next moments were critical. 'I cook them until they're slightly runny still and then pull the pan from the heat and keep moving them around to let the heat from the pan finish them,' he advised. Others echoed the chef's advice around this specific cooking method. 'Scrambled eggs should be pulled [off the heat] whilst they are still runny, as they don't stop cooking immediately when you pull them from the heat. The eggs will continue to cook via carry over heat,' one said. A helpful suggestion also advised making 'sure you move fast with that spatula so that nothing is touching the surface for too long.' Another useful tip was to look for the eggs to appear 'shiny when you take them off the pan'. 'Remember they're still cooking after the heat goes off,' they said. There was also a general consensus that cooking in butter and adding salt were requisite to achieving professional-quality scrambled eggs. Others noted that the addition of rich dairy ingredients like pouring cream or crème fraiche would indeed enhance the final flavour of scrambled eggs - but that they were not an absolute necessity. The scrambled eggs discussion echoed a similar conversation that took place recently about how to recreate professionally made mashed potatoes. Again, many initially presumed that large amounts of salt and butter were the answer. However, many chefs piped up to explain in there is far more to the art of a velvety mash. The thread called on professionals to reveal their secrets, with chefs spilling their once gate-kept methods - and the gadgets they swear by for an indulgent, creamy result. It came about after a home cook asked how restaurant mashed potato was 'so creamy, smooth and buttery without tasting too heavy' - adding, 'what makes restaurant mashed potatoes hit different?' A fine dining chef who claimed to have worked under Michelin star chefs for many years immediately jumped in to share the method he's been using for years. '[We use] either a tamis with a plastic bench scraper or a China cap with a ladle used to push it through,' he said A tamis - pronounced 'tammy' - is a drum-shaped sieve with fine mesh attached. A China cap is a cone-shaped strainer with perforated metal on the inside. 'When we'd make Pomme Puree [velvety mash] we would do about 16 cups of peeled Yukon gold potatoes soaked (in water to prevent oxidation) and cut up to an even size,' the chef continued. 'Bring them to boil in a pot with just enough salted (and I mean pretty flavorful) water to cover the surface. Less water = better texture mash. 'Once it was boiling I'd reduce it to a simmer until a cake tester came out clean but not where the potatoes got over cooked/mealy. You don't want that either.' The chef advised immediately draining the water, 'tamising or ricing' the potatoes into a large bowl and adding simmered heavy cream to the desired texture. Follow that with about 500g of cubed-up good quality cold butter. 'The cold butter helps mount and emulsify the potatoes so that they have an incredibly smooth texture,' he said. 'After emulsification we'd sometimes add some garlic thyme brown butter we'd prepped earlier and quickly stir it in so it would stay emulsified. Salt and season to taste. 'Most places I've worked have done this or similar.' Hundreds agreed with this chef's approach, while others weighed in with their own tips - mostly involving excessive amounts of butter and cream. 'So much butter and cream. Way more than you would imagine. Like some of the fancier and more luxurious places are doing their mashed potatoes 50 per cent butter by weight,' one confessed. 'I'm a chef. It's what everyone else said. A s**tload of butter, salt, white pepper and cream. Like an amount you've never considered because most normal people can't comprehend it,' another agreed. 'So much more butter. Like a comical amount,' one more admitted.


The Sun
2 days ago
- The Sun
I tested all the supermarket cinnamon swirls – the tasty winner was £1.20 cheaper than M&S
CINNAMON buns are rolling in the sweet taste of more success. Waitrose recently reported a surge of 381 per cent in online searches for them. 9 But if you don't want to pay over the odds for costly versions to go with your coffee in a shop, which supermarket 's version is best to enjoy at home? Laura Stott tucked into a selection and gives her verdict. Danish Cinnamon Whirl x 2 , Sainsbury's bakery, £1.75 SMELLING exactly as sweet and spiced as you want, sadly they are more like the Danish pastry part of their title than a traditional big bouncy bun. What you get is thinner and flatter puff pastry spirals with a brown sugar filling woven through. More cinnamon flavour would be welcome but what's there is evenly dispersed and the pastry is rich and buttery. Despite these positives, they seemed small compared to the others I tried and it is noticeable that they have no icing on top. Also very messy to eat as when you bite into it, the wheel shape quickly starts to unravel meaning your cake falls apart. Not very satisfying. Rating: 2/5 'You can spend just 1p in Lidl & get free food' savvy shopper says as she nabs a bakery treat without paying every time' The Cake Shop Cinnamon Buns x2, Morrisons, £2.39 VERY sweet and smothered with soft cheese icing. In fact, they are drizzled with so much topping, you can barely identify anything else. I like icing on top but this was too much for me. It was so abundant it had dripped all over the whole pastry as well as all over the packet. Not only did it make these exceedingly messy to eat but you could barely taste the cinnamon spice that should have been the star of the show. The bits of the cake I could taste were nice enough and they are a good size, raised in the middle with a very generous serving. But it was hard to get beyond the thick and gunky topping. Not cheap either, for supermarket own buns, these were noticeably pricey compared to others. Rating: 2/5 Cinnamon Buns x 2, Tesco, £1.80 VERY tasty buns from Tesco that are full of flavour. I thought they were just as enjoyable as anything you could buy from a fancy bakery. They are generous in size with lots of height and volume and covered in cream cheese icing. When you bite in they are soft, tasty and plump. There is also a visible amount of brown sugary cinnamon running throughout and plenty of topping – but it is not so much that the treats become sickly. They are very sweet but they look lovely and smell delicious. They are a great price, too. Impossible not to wolf down in one go. Perfect with a cup of coffee in the sunshine for the cafe experience without the inflated cost. Rating: 5/5 Cinnamon Buns x 2 Asda, £1.74 A LOVELY dark golden hue gives them that fresh bakery appeal that should start to make your mouth water. And when you tuck in, these are tasty, rich and generous with a generous portion of warming cinnamon filling, giving you a nice sugary hug for the ultimate comforting pick-me-up. Well balanced with a nice amount of icing which is plentiful enough to ensure the buns are sticky and gooey – and there was quite a lot of the icing still stuck to the packaging! I'd happily buy these again if I fancied something sweet. Very well priced too, these won't blow the budget. Rating: 4/5 Cinn-a-yum Buns x 6 M&S/ £3 I LIKED the tear-and-share style of these iced buns. They are smaller individually than others but they are designed to be bite-sized, it's not that you've been offered a stingy treat. The petite size makes them ideal for parties, or if you just want something sweet without indulging in a huge cake. The cinnamon gives a good hit of flavour and sweetness with the demerara sugar. But they were rather dry and not as sticky and gooey as I like. The icing wasn't great either, it felt like a bit of an afterthought that had been quickly added on top. Nice as a little treat, though, or for a change in place of a biscuit or pud. Rating: 2/5 The Daily Bakery Cinnamon Buns x2, Iceland, £1.50 REALLY well priced and they taste very good, too. If sweet and sticky is your idea of heaven, you will love these. Each one has loads of cinnamon powder sprinkled on top so you can really smell and taste the spice when you open the packet. Well-shaped buns that look very appetising and they don't disappoint. The pastry is rather dense but it is not to their detriment, it just makes them a bit more filling. Absolutely packed with cinnamon sugar filling too so you get your money's worth on the flavour and there was just enough icing to give the stickiness you want without being overwhelming and gunky. Very nice and extremely affordable. Rating: 4/5 Cinnamon Bun x 1, Lidl bakery, 79p DENSE and yeasty with plenty of appeal when you look at it too. Very sticky and a dark golden brown colour from a thick layer of cinnamon sugar which also gives a lovely fresh aroma. It tasted lovely and fresh, very treacly and rich with soft pastry and a crispy outer, alongside a plump bouncy feel in the mouth. Extremely generous in size with plenty of height and a very gooey and generous icing. This was probably the biggest bun of all the ones I tried so everything is amplified, from the amount of pastry on your plate to the cinnamon flavour in each bite. Perfect with a cuppa as a mid-afternoon pick me up. Rating: 4/5 Village Bakery Cinnamon Buns x 2, Aldi, £1.49 VERY bizarre buns. A bit different in style to most and I wasn't a huge fan of the change. They don't seem anything like traditional cinnamon buns – instead they resemble the soft wholemeal rolls you might make a cheese sarnie with. When you bite in, they are extremely sweet, heavily flavoured with cinnamon and a cream cheese American-style frosted filling. More like an iced bun, they are very sticky and sickly and I found the similarity to a brown bap a bit disconcerting. There's no textural notes either, everything is very mushy. Although they don't have the plate appeal, if it's just an affordable sticky sweet cinnamon treat you want, they'll do the job. Very filling, too.


The Guardian
22-07-2025
- The Guardian
My petty gripe: I don't begrudge your coffee addiction – but do you have to be such a bore about it?
I get it: you really like coffee. And you have an addiction. I'm not judging that. You're beholden to Big Bean, hopelessly hooked on the world's most consumed psychotropic drug. But, err, do you have to be such a bore about it? Does it really need a mention on your dating profile, as though a fondness for hot brown liquid is a personality trait? Is a coffee not truly a coffee unless it's conjured from scratch by a barista? And do you really need to be such a grump in the morning if you don't get it? Should you really be entitled to an extra hour's work break so you can stand in a lengthy cafe queue both morning and afternoon? (Before you delay yet another work meeting in favour of a protracted caffeine-foraging mission, let me introduce you to the office espresso machine and – don't give me that look – this jar of instant coffee.) Sure, you want an excuse to gossip with your colleagues*, get some fresh air, get your daily steps in or leave your lonely work-from-home station to have the only in-person interaction you'll have all day. All very worthy causes. But then on the weekend you'll make me tag along with you while you search for another overpriced cafe coffee just 20 minutes after you imbibed the first because the milk in the first cup of joe was under-steamed and you simply can't continue with your day until you've overridden that abomination with a quality flat white. Or on our camping trip you'll snub the moka pot-brewed campfire coffee and jump in your car and drive out of the wilderness to the nearest town to buy an artisanal long black in a takeaway cup. Waiting for you to return from your one-and-a-half-hour round trip ate up most of our precious morning, Peter! Granted, I don't know much about latte art, but I do know swans belong at liberty on shimmering lakes, not confined atop your morning beverage. As the world descends deeper into economic hardship, environmental doom and the clutches of authoritarian nutjobs, coffee snobbery inexplicably endures and strengthens, like cockroaches after the apocalypse. Apologies if I sound a bit bitter, tired and irritable, as though I have a mild headache coming on. Perhaps a shot of single-origin locally roasted ristretto will sort me out. * This article does not reflect on any of my Guardian Australia colleagues – I love you all