Live Both: Mastering The Save Versus Give Paradox

Forbes

20-06-2025

Reducing, removing or overcome financial barrier, financial concept : US dollar bag on a maze ... More puzzle. The image depicting a situation how to overcome financial difficulties and avoid a financial distress. getty
For as long as I've been interested in money, I've wrestled with a personal tension: I want to be generous with what I have, but I also want to be a wise saver. In theory, both goals make sense. But in practice, they often feel like opposites.
Saving helps me achieve goals and manage life's inevitable risks, like losing income during seasons of unemployment or my elder years. Saving is satisfying to me because it is measurable and strategic. It helps me prepare for emergencies and invest in products and services that are a blessing to the world. On the other hand, giving is aligned to love. It is who I am as a Christian since it is who God is. 'For God so loved the world that He gave…' It creates connection, reduces isolation, and reminds me that money isn't just about me. Yet every dollar I give is a dollar I can't save—and every dollar I save is one I'm not using to make a difference today.
For a long time, I treated this as a problem to solve. I searched for the right budget, the perfect ratio, the clean formula. What I discovered instead is that this is not a problem to solve—it's a paradox to navigate.
Eventually, I found that the best way for me to make peace with this tension wasn't through spreadsheets or rules. It was through metaphors. These images helped me understand my relationship with money in a more human and creative way, and they gave me a framework to build a financial life that reflects both responsibility and generosity.
Here are four metaphors that have reshaped how I think about saving and giving: 1. Water
Stagnant water getty
Imagine a lake that has no outlet. Over time, the water becomes stagnant. Nutrients build up. Salt accumulates. Life dies off. That's what happens in places like the Dead Sea. Compare that to a river or a lake that flows—it stays vibrant, oxygenated, and full of life.
That image helped me see that holding onto all my money, even for good reasons, eventually becomes toxic. If there's no outflow, I lose something essential. I become overly cautious. I start to think I never have 'enough.'
But the opposite extreme is no better. If water rushes out without being replenished, the stream dries up. I've been there too—giving more than I could sustain, eventually becoming resentful or dependent on others to meet my needs.
This metaphor reminded me that a healthy financial life needs both inflow and outflow. Saving without giving becomes lifeless. Giving without saving becomes unsustainable. My goal is to find the flow. 2. Barn
A beautiful winter scenic in Alberta, Canada. White horse and red barn. Rolling prairie. getty
A barn isn't built out of fear—it's built out of foresight. Farmers don't build barns because they're selfish. They do it because they know winter is coming. They know that without storing seed and grain, they can't plant again in the spring.
When I think about saving in this way, it no longer feels like hoarding. It becomes a way to protect my ability to contribute long-term. It's not about stockpiling money so I can escape the world. It's about preparing myself to remain useful, even when conditions change.
I've learned that my version of a 'barn' includes an emergency fund, health insurance, and enough margin to say yes when an unexpected opportunity to help someone arises. 3. Tree
Fruit tree getty
A tree does something beautiful: it holds onto what it needs, and it gives away the rest. It stores nutrients in its roots, but it also produces fruit, gives shade, and releases oxygen. It serves both itself and everything around it.
Trees also overproduce. They don't just generate one apple or one acorn. They produce far more than they need. That picture helped me shift from thinking about generosity as a loss to thinking about it as natural overflow.
I don't want to be a tree that's either dried out or bloated. I want to be rooted and resilient, and fruitful. Saving helps me stand firm. Giving helps me reach outward. The two support each other. 4.Amphibian
Red salamander (Pseudotriton ruber) getty
I've always been fascinated by amphibians. They can live in two worlds: water and land. If they stay in the water too long, they suffocate. If they stay on land too long, they dry out.
That's how I feel sometimes with my money. The financial planning world rewards discipline and saving. But the social world I live in—my relationships, my community—runs on giving and connection. If I lean too hard into one world, I lose touch with the other.
Being an amphibian means learning to move between both. I spend time reviewing my savings goals, but I also look for ways to help others, share what I have, and experience the joy of giving. It's not about perfect balance every day. It's about becoming fluent in both environments over time. My Personal Strategy
After years of trial and error, I settled on a simple principle that works for me. I decided that my giving rate should always be at least double my saving rate. This ratio reminds me to prioritize generosity, because it aligns with who I am as a follower of Jesus. I also need to view my savings as a tool to create a more sustainable flow of giving throughout my life, helping me avoid costly debt during seasons of hardship.
This strategy may not be perfect or permanent. But it feels honest. It's rooted in the metaphors that help me make sense of money; and in the values I want to live by. Final Thoughts
If you feel torn between saving and giving, you're not alone. It's not a simple decision, and it may never be. But it doesn't have to be a source of stress. Instead, it can be a creative challenge.
You don't have to find the one right answer. You just need to find the rhythm that works for you. Metaphors can help. They give us new language. They slow us down. They turn pressure into perspective.
Metaphors can also help with the paradoxes of investing, like whether to buy cheap and old or expensive and new. See my Forbes article that discusses using metaphor to navigate an age-old investing paradox here: Forbes Live Both: Mastering The Growth Vs. Value Investing Paradox By Shane Enete
At the end of the day, I'm not looking for a formula. I'm looking for meaning. I want my money to reflect both who I am and who I want to become. And that means learning how to give freely while still saving wisely.