It's safety first with young ones at the lake
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband — a former lifeguard — went ahead and bought a cabin for our family at a lake in southern Manitoba. What a disaster. I'm not happy. I swim like rock, and I would be the one alone at the lake with our two young kids during the week while he's at work.
My husband says he'll make every weekend a long weekend, but I don't even want that. I need him there all the time for safety. What do you think?
The cabin sale is already finalized. How do I cope with this?
— Dangerous Situation, southwestern Manitoba
Dear Dangerous Situation: A drowning death in a family is tragedy for life. When your husband is not at the lake with you and the children are in the water or even just on the beach, you will need a well-paid older babysitter with lifesaving credentials.
As a former lifeguard, your hubby should certainly understand this.
You always must be there on the beach with your helper, as well, to look out for a child not in the water with the sitter. And everybody must be wearing life preservers at all times. That is not overdoing it.
If this is not going to be a happy situation for you, then stand your ground and stay at home on weekdays and only go up when your swimmer husband goes with you for those three-day weekends he's promising.
Also, you and your children need some swimming lessons now, no matter what happens. Private instruction may be the best bet.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was just hanging out at home recently, when my doorbell started ringing incessantly.
I knew instantly who it was — my old boyfriend who always arrived this way in high school. This stunt was how he liked to announce himself — he's always been kind of charmingly goofy.
So I unlocked the door, and he knelt down, took my hand and kissed it dramatically. I must admit it was kind of exciting.
He said he'd had two long years to think about it, and he was willing to take me back. I just laughed.
Then he spelled out the primary reason for trying again — we've both rejected everyone else we've dated since breaking up. Then he said he'd punished me long enough and we should give it another try. Ha.
I'm tempted, but I would hate if we got back together and it turned out to be a mistake. I do admire his nerve, however.
Should I give him another try, or would I be wasting my time?
— Another Whirl or Not? St. Vital
Dear Another Whirl: If you don't give it a whirl, are you going to regret it? If so, try it — no matter what friends and family think.
If it isn't going well for the two of you as adults, say your final goodbyes and you can both go in peace.
People may laugh at you for trying, but just brush them off — it's not their business to judge from the sidelines. There still seems to be a spark there for you both, so see how it goes.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist
Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.
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