Gerry Thornley's Lions Tour Diary: Take me to Churchie, then Death and Taxes

Irish Times

2 days ago

Sunday
Another day, another check-out, another flight, another check-in, but this time there's no team announcement and no press conference because there's no midweek game. What's more, after five cities in 15 days, this is one week in Brisbane.
Yet there was also widespread agreement that it was a shame to leave Adelaide, which left a big impression, despite not being widely acclaimed in Australia. 'We try to keep it a secret and don't tell anyone,' explained one local.
It's midwinter and the weather is glorious in the Queensland capital, clear blue skies and temperatures in the 20s.
In the evening the Irish and UK travelling media end up in the nearby Felon's Barrell Hall, a media melting pot on Eagle Street Pier, for beers and pizzas, and panoramic views of the high rises adorning the Brisbane river.
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Maro Itoje tries his hand at hurling during a Lions training session at Churchie School in Brisbane. Photograph:Monday
Confirmation comes through as to who the
Wallabies
and the
Lions
are putting forward today – Joseph Aukuso Suaalii and Will Skelton no less, as well as
Maro Itoje
. Let the tour begin!
Unusually, as rival managements and press officers tend not to collaborate at all, they don't clash, so it's possible to do both.
About 30 journalists fill the room in the Wallabies' team hotel and Skelton jokes with Suaalii that this is a bigger turnout than normal. They take turns in making the other laugh and seem very chilled.
The Lions host their media events in the steepling, three-storey library at their Anglican Church Grammar School training base. Described by one of the teachers at the school, which is known locally as Churchie, as 'a monolith' amid the old colonial buildings on the school's grounds, but one which is also red-bricked and thus blends in tastefully.
Itoje is his usual calm, measured, polite, articulate and impressive self in the library's ground floor amphitheatre, with its picturesque view of an oval shaped cricket ground.
He is asked about Henry Pollock's revelation that, well, the Lions actually want to win all three Tess.
'It would be a bit weird if one of my team-mates said we want to win two and lose one,' he says, in mild astonishment.
The Lions captain reveals he had to appoint players to various committees, and leant on advice from his fellow three-time tourist
Tadhg Furlong
'because I wanted a good gist of some of the Irish guys and what they like and what they don't like'.
'But
Tadhg Beirne
, actually, told me not to put Bundee in the fines committee. He said the power goes to his head. But Bundee was desperate. Honestly, he was desperate to be in it. So I said: 'Okay, yeah, let him be in it.' I'm slightly regretting it now.
'The phrase, I learnt it in politics, I can't remember who said it exactly, but the phrase is power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. That definitely applies to Bundee Aki!'
Tuesday
The Lions put forward
Jack Conan
and
Dan Sheehan
for media duties, back in Churchie again. Conan spent much of his formative years being educated and playing rugby at St Gerard's School, a fee-paying, Catholic co-ed school in Bray on a sprawling 60-acre site which caters for 700 or so pupils.
But no less than St Peter's College in Adelaide, with its Harry Potter-like setting on 90 acres, Conan is taken by the old colonial splendour of the school, which caters for almost 2,000 pupils.
The Lions have imposed restrictions in filming at their training sessions to official photographers and camera crews – ie no social media activity is permitted, and this will apply to the captain's runs. It seems needless and petty, but adds to the friction on tour between the Lions and the media.
No such restrictions apply at the Wallabies' training sessions, and one of the Aussie media asks: 'How have you put up with the IRFU for so long?' Maybe we've become immune.
Unrelated, we end up in Death and Taxes, a speakeasy cocktail bar with plush leather furniture.
Wednesday
My spies – the Kilkenny man who rectifies the laundry machine in the room – tells me that
Ronan O'Gara
is in the building. The poor fella mustn't be able to peel an orange in public without even everyone in Australia knowing about it. But if it's good enough for Sky Sports, Miles Harrison and Rog, well then it's good enough for The Irish Times and The 42.
It's a down day for both the Wallabies and the Lions, most of whom have family and friends over in Oz by now.
End up in Death and Taxes again.
Australia head coach Joe Schmidt leaves after a team photo before the captain's run in Brisbane. Photograph: David Gray/AFP via Getty Images
Thursday
Joint team announcement day. The room for 30 is the biggest in the Wallabies' hotel, but is now crammed with 50 journalists.
Joe Schmidt
confirms the game has come too soon for Rob Valetini, Skelton and Langi Gleeson.
Still, he's apparently a more chilled man now than in his transformative decade in Irish rugby. 'Genial Joe we call him,' says one, and Genial Joe says he is 'pragmatic' about enforced absentees, and confidently says: 'I'd like to think that we can put a game together that at least can keep the British and Irish Lions pretty honest on the day.'
Hmmm.
The Lions' hotel is a 15-minute walk away, and their advance release confirms Andy Farrell's selection. There must be close to 100 journalists and camera crews for yet another of his press conferences. He talks about embracing favouritism and that he's never known an Australia side to accept they are underdogs, least of all on home soil.
Friday
The Pete Samu affair breaks in the Australian media. He has now joined the Waratahs from Bordeaux Bègles, and was originally picked to play for the First Nations & Pasifika XV (alternative opponents to the since defunct Melbourne Rebels) against the Lions in Melbourne next Tuesday.
But the Lions pointed out that this was not in accordance with the tour agreement, as Samu had not played Super Rugby this season, even though there had been exemptions in previous tour matches. The Lions' view is that there are two stages to the tour, pre-series and the series, including midweek games such as next Tuesday.
Basically, the Lions didn't want the Pasifika XV to be stacked, as happened against the South African A side four years ago.
My keyboard malfunctions and have to buy a new external one. Damnit. This tour had been going too well!
The afternoon brings the first light rainfall of the week and a
Johnny Sexton
briefing at the Suncorp Stadium. He made his Lions Test debut in the 23-21 win in the corresponding first Test in 2013 when Kurtley Beale slipped in attempting a long-range penalty with the game's last kick.
'The occasion, the atmosphere, the crowd, that's the thing that always lives with you,' said Sexton. 'Obviously when Kurtley slipped and missed the kick, the euphoria that we felt, but again just shows the margins of professional sport and top-level sport like we're going to witness tomorrow. It's going to come down to something small like that and hopefully we'll be on the right side of it.'