Relationship expert shares simple trick to help you have more sex-and it's perfect for couples with different needs

Daily Mail​

6 days ago

Sex droughts could be solved by implementing what relationship experts are calling the 'Cinderella rule'.
Named after the classic fairy tale where a young woman is provided a beautiful gown and carriage that disappear at midnight, experts say those struggling for intimacy should establish their own cut-off for 'magical moments'.
Basically, it's time limit for sex and intimacy where after a mandated time—for example 10.30pm—a couple know lovemaking is off the cards.
It may seem counter intuitive to advise a couple struggling to reignite their passion in the bedroom to have a cut-off for sex, but experts insist it can work.
Metro columnist Alice Giddings, who hosts podcast Just Between Us said her 'pumpkin moment' moment was just before 10.30pm.
'This is when it'll be lights out and off to snoozeville. This means my cut-off for intimacy starts is 10.10pm latest,' she wrote.
She added that having this designated sex window, rather than making sex feel like a scheduled activity akin to a dentist's appointment, can build excitement and help couples grappling with busy schedules.
'There's also something about the anticipation that makes it quite exciting,' she said.
Ms Giddings added that people can send their partner 'indications' that sex is a possibility before the Cinderella time, be that a flirty comment or a raunchy photo.
But by establishing that cut off a couple also set expectations that avoid disappointment or, for busy adults, post-morning regret.
'This way you don't have to worry about being exhausted the next morning, Ms Giddings added.
While couples scheduling sex for a specific time and day is an increasing discussed topic in relationships, a Cinderella rule allows for a bit more freedom rather than feeling like an ultimatum or deadline.
Ms Giddings's advice came after hearing from listener Mia on Just Between Us.
Mia—a business owner living in Milan, Italy—detailed how living in an apartment with her boyfriend and two of her grandmothers meant she was struggling to find the energy for sex.
'I live with people that require a lot of attention and it's very consuming,' she said.
'I don't have the time or mental ability. I work very long hours and struggle to switch from super sleepy to sexual.'
After hearing advice from the podcast hosts Mia said she thought scheduling time for a connection could work for her, especially with the idea of building desire towards an intimate rendezvous.
'Remembering to find these moments of connection in the mundane where we can flirt a little if we pass each other in the kitchen, would make it so much easier to switch your mindset and mood,' she said.
While passionate sex has often evoked images of a clothes ripping impromptu romp, studies suggest there is no difference in satisfaction levels between spur of the moment and planned lovemaking.
It comes amid concern about a global sex crisis—or rather, lack of sex crisis.
One recent survey revealed more than a quarter (27 per cent) of Britons are now having less sex than they used to, with one in six admitting they haven't got frisky the entire year.
According to a Royal College of Occupational Therapists poll of 2,000 adults last year, men and women typically only have sex 46 times a year—once every eight days, on average.
But some have far less frequent amorous activity, with one in 10 reported having sex less than once a year.
And month, researchers at the University of Manchester, also revealed women who have sex a t least once a week are the happiest in their relationships.
Their study showed that 85 per cent of women who had sex once a week described themselves as 'sexually satisfied'.
In contrast, only 17 per cent of women who had sex less than once a month reported the same level of relationship bliss.
While dissatisfaction in the bedroom can put a relationship in peril numerous studies suggest a lack of sex and intimacy can also be bad for your health.
Regular sex and intimacy have been linked to several health benefits, including improving the condition of your heart, reducing stress and even boosting mental health.