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The Sun
17 minutes ago
- The Sun
Do you fall in love hard and fast? Three signs you're an emophiliac – & five ways to break the destructive lust cycle
FROM falling hard and fast to ignoring red flags, why emophilia could be your toxic dating trait. Have you ever been on a first date and felt like you've met your soulmate? 1 If this happens often, you may have emophilia, AKA a tendency to fall in love quickly and with just about anyone. And experts warn it can have a negative impact on mental health, leaving people vulnerable and trapped in toxic relationships, or see them darting from one relationship to the next, constantly chasing the thrill of early attraction or that feeling of falling in love. 'When you first fall for someone, you get that rush of the feel-good hormone, serotonin,' says Sarah Louise Ryan, dating and relationship expert, matchmaker and psychotherapist. 'This phase of romantic love is really the rose-tinted glasses phase. You are falling for the newness of these just-discovered feelings, just as much as you're falling for the actual person. This is because new and different people bring out different parts of us.' There's nothing wrong with these emotions, though they do simmer down as we build a relationship. 'In reality, when that spark fades, that is when the real relationship begins,' says Sarah. 'But those with emophilia don't ever want that feeling to fizzle out, which can lead them into a volatile position romantically. They either never fully commit and move on to the next partner, or they date multiple people to discover who they have the biggest spark with, all in search of the rush.' The emotional fallout from this pattern can be huge. The good news is it's possible to stop and change your thinking and actions. I'm a dating expert - the 5 key signs your partner is cheating on you & the Instagram feature that'll tell you all you need to know Love At First Sight? But whatever happened to 'love at first sight', you might wonder? Genuine love at first sight is an instant attraction to someone you might share common values with, find intriguing and are physically attracted to. It can be with someone who feels safe and calm. But emophilia is falling in love with the feeling of lust, attention, validation and connection, rather than the person. 'That need for attachment can be intoxicating, but it's important to get to know the person you've fallen for on a deeper level,' Sarah says. 'You will feel anxiety when you're not getting that serotonin burst, but if you follow these steps before becoming emotionally attached so quickly, you'll feel better.' When Emophilia Becomes a Problem At a time when the dating world feels dire and 'true love' is hard to find, is it really all that bad if someone is so open to connection? The issue is that when emophiliacs fall, they tend not to question the relationship's long-term goals, values or red flags. This can make them either more likely to jump ship or get stuck in a relationship that was doomed from the start. 'Falling for risky partners may seem appealing, but it can be dangerous when their aim is manipulation and destruction,' explains Sarah. 'People with emophilia can be attracted to narcissists, who may lovebomb a new partner by showing excessive amounts of affection and attention. This would be ideal for a person with emophilia. Because they think they're in love, emophiliacs are likely to overlook warnings or advice, even from trusted family and friends. However, when red flags aren't addressed, over time they can become more problematic.' Why Do you Fall so Hard? Though the exact cause of emophilia is unknown, there are several possible theories. 'It is thought that low serotonin levels in the brain may contribute,' says Sarah. Serotonin is also implicated in conditions including depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). 'Some people may also be hypersensitive to oxytocin,' adds Sarah. Also known as the love hormone, oxytocin creates feelings of trust and a desire to care. Falling in love quickly is also a shared experience of people with ADHD, which may be linked with the disorder's symptoms of impulsivity. But it may just be a personality trait. For some, there is excitement to be found in the chaos, and boredom in the monotony. FIVE WAYS TO BREAK UP WITH EMOPHILIA Overcoming the need to chase the rush of falling for someone isn't easy, as many of our relationship desires are ingrained. 'I would ask an emophiliac: 'Is it working for you?'", Sarah says. 'If the answer is yes, and you're happy flitting from one relationship to another, keep doing what you are doing. If the answer is no, I'd recommend these tips.' 1. Go Cold Turkey If you are a serial dater, go cold turkey – including no sex or romantic relations – to focus on yourself. Discover the qualities you like in yourself and note the ways in which you are capable without having a significant other. Then, pick up conscious dating when the time is right. 'When you find the confidence to make the right choices, you will no longer let your drive for a feeling choose for you,' says Sarah. 'It will be hard work, but worth it.' 2. Spot The Red Flags Some red flags are universal. For example, a lack of respect or signs of attempting to control another person. However, others will be more specific to you. For example, how do you feel about their financial situation, living arrangements, family set-up or beliefs? It's easy for a friend to say: 'That's a red flag', but ask yourself if it really is for you. Write down your deal-breakers, then ensure when connecting with someone that you ask the questions that will unveil these warning signs. 3. Note What Hasn't Worked Sit back and really think about the patterns you have fallen into with each romantic partner. What happened? Where did it go wrong? Self-awareness is important in the decision-making process. If necessary, write out an action plan for the next time someone catches your attention. 4. Listen To Friends You may get so caught up in the rush of a new partner that you forget the concerns of those closest to you. Take time to speak to a family member or friend who knows you well and has historically given you honest advice. Run through any worries or ask for feedback on new partners. Your friends don't have to love or even like your partner, but if they have concerns about them, it's worth hearing them. This can be a failing for people with emophilia, who can only see the positives of a new crush. 5. Consult A Therapist Therapists or counsellors can help you to understand and manage emophilia. 'Therapists help bring you into the here and now and find internal validation, rather than seeking external validation from others,' says Sarah. 'That means that those with emophilia can consciously connect with themselves and with others when dating.'
Daily Mail
17 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Travis Kelce goes for solemn drive in LA while Taylor Swift helps her dad recover from shock heart surgery
Travis Kelce was pictured going for an evening drive around Los Angeles on Friday night while girlfriend Taylor Swift continued to help her father after his major heart surgery. Scott Swift, 73, is on the road to recovery after undergoing a quintuple bypass on his heart over a month ago after a doctor noticed something during a routine checkup. 'The doctor found something and everything happened so fast. But they took care of it,' an insider told the Daily Mail. 'Taylor has been so concerned with her mother's health struggles over the years that her focus was really only on her. Her dad was always in great shape.' Andrea Swift, 67, has weathered both brain and breast tumors. The Daily Mail learned on Thursday that, as the singer and her family rushed to Scott's bedside, it was Kelce who 'went into total caregiver mode'. Pictures showed the Kansas City Chiefs star driving around Los Angeles on Friday. It was unclear where he was going but he has been extremely present during Scott's health crisis. Whether it's been ordering takeout meals for Taylor - 'making sure she was eating' - or checking in personally on Scott following his surgery, it is understood that NFL star has really risen to the occasion. 'This was their first crisis together and Travis was doing everything right. If Taylor wasn't ready to marry him before, she sure is now. They were in love before, but now it seems unbreakable,' our insider said. And perhaps in the biggest show yet of that 'unbreakable' bond, it can also be revealed that Travis received a much-coveted phone notification... he was added to the Swift family group chat! Thankfully, the dad of two has made a speedy recovery, and a source close to Taylor has since told Daily Mail that Scott's recovery has so far been 'fantastic.' Throughout his recovery from surgery, both Swift, and her younger brother, Austin, were by his side during the scary time. Andrea, who he has been married to for 37 years, was also there to support him. Swift's rep told the outlet that his bypass surgery was not the result of a heart attack. The surgery is quite a major one, as it requires doctors to restore blood flow to certain areas of the heart. Swift has always been close to her parents, especially her father, as he's often seen at her concerts and even at football games to support her Kelce. The health scare comes at a bad time for Kelce, who is due to report for the Chiefs' training camp on Tuesday. Travis and the Chiefs begin their annual training camp in St Joseph, Missouri on July 22 and finish on August 13. They also have three pre-season games in the schedule against the Arizona Cardinals, Seattle Seahawks and Chicago Bears. Travis and brother Jason also announced this week there will be no new episodes of their smash-hit podcast 'New Heights' for the foreseeable future. Jason may be retired from the NFL but his younger brother is still active and will be unable to record while at training camp. As a result, the brothers will not be releasing new episodes of the show - which has 2.5 million subscribers on YouTube - for quite some time. In fact, a specific return date is yet to be confirmed by the duo as they prepare to turn their microphones off after next week's episode, which will be released on July 23. There are some pre-recorded interviews with special guests to come but there will be nothing new from the famous brothers. 'We have come to the end of the road,' Jason announced during this week's show.
Daily Mail
17 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Wife of man who died in horrific MRI machine incident reveals sickening details of how he died... and makes shock accusation
The heartbroken wife of a Long Island man who was tragically killed after being pulled into an MRI machine is blaming the imaging technician for his death. Keith McAllister, 61, was critically injured Wednesday afternoon at Nassau Open MRI in Westbury after being violently drawn into the machine by the metal necklace he was wearing. He later died from his injuries, according to Nassau County police. His wife, Adrienne Jones-McAllister, had just completed an MRI on her knee and asked a technician to bring her husband in to help her off the table. When McAllister entered the room - still wearing the 20-pound metal chain his wife said he 'used for weight training' - the machine's powerful magnetic force suddenly pulled him in. 'I saw him walk toward the table and then the machine just snatched him,' Jones-McAllister recalled to News 12 Long Island. 'He went limp in my arms - and this is still pulsating in my brain.' She alleged that the technician allowed her husband into the room despite the visible chain, which had been worn on previous visits to the same facility. 'That was not the first time that guy had seen that chain. They'd had a conversation about it before,' she said. After the incident, McAllister suffered multiple heart attacks and later died from his injuries, she said. McAllister's stepdaughter, Samantha Bodden, echoed her mother's sentiment, blaming the technician for her stepfather's premature death. 'While my mother was laying on the table, the technician left the room to get her husband to help her off the table. He forgot to inform him to take the chain he was wearing from around his neck off when the magnet sucked him in,' Bodden wrote on Facebook Friday. She also pushed back against claims reported by 'several news stations' that McAllister was not authorized to be in the room. 'Several news stations are saying he wasn't authorized to be in the room, when in fact he was because the technician went and brought him into the room,' she wrote on a GoFundMe page organized to help cover burial expenses. According to a release from the Nassau County Police Department, McAllister entered the MRI room while a scan was still underway when the machine's strong magnetic force pulled him in by the metallic chain around his neck. Jones-McAllister told News 12 that she had called out to her husband after asking the technician to get him. She said the technician summoned him into the room, despite his wearing the heavy chain - an item they had even joked about on a previous visit, saying things like: 'Ooooooh, that's a big chain!' When he got close to her, she said, 'at that instant, the machine switched him around, pulled him in, and he hit the MRI.' 'I said: "Could you turn off the machine, call 911, do something - turn this damn thing off!"' she recalled, as tears ran down her face. 'He went limp in my arms.' She added that the technician tried to help her pull McAllister off the machine, but it was impossible. 'My mother and the tech tried for several minutes to release him before the police were called. He was attached to the machine for almost an hour before they could release the chain…' Bodden added in the somber Facebook entry.
