‘We tried to free our children, Putin used them as poker chips'

Times

4 days ago

Flanked by men in dark suits, Daria Zarivna was nervous. The stakes could hardly have been higher for her and the rest of the Ukrainian negotiating team as they sat down opposite their American counterparts. Their aim was to save an alliance, and, ultimately, the lives of their countrymen.
While President Trump's shift from appearing to support President Putin to announcing additional weapons for Ukraine this week may seem abrupt, Zarivna can testify how the seeds were sown on a spring day in Jeddah four months ago.
On March 11, days after President Zelensky was humiliated in an Oval Office shouting match with Trump, Zarivna, an adviser to Andriy Yermak, the Ukrainian leader's chief of staff, joined the rest of the Kyiv delegation in Saudi Arabia. 'We were preparing hard, day and night. We were all focused. We had no idea how it would go,' she said.
Somehow, the Ukrainians had to find common ground with a White House team that seemed to have started parroting Kremlin propaganda. There was one topic that Zarivna hoped it would be hard for them to disagree about — ­returning abducted children to their families.
Nonetheless she was relieved when Marco Rubio, the US secretary of state, started speaking: 'The conversation was constructive from the outset. When Secretary Rubio raised the issue, and when he shared facts from my message box, that was a great feeling, and I realised he was deeply across the details,' she recalled.
The Kremlin has removed at least 19,546 Ukrainian children from their families for re-education as Russians according to Kyiv, a war crime that has prompted the International Criminal Court to issue an arrest warrant for Putin. Of those taken, only 1,399 have been returned to Ukraine, through volunteers or relatives travelling vast distances, or in agreements brokered by third countries such as South Africa, Qatar or the Vatican.'
The March US-Ukraine summit in Saudi Arabia concluded with a brief statement proposing an immediate 30-day ceasefire to Moscow. It also included a commitment to the 'return of forcibly transferred Ukrainian children'. That commitment, the Ukrainian officials thought, could eventually become a test for Putin, and one way to prove to the Americans that Moscow had no interest in peace.
• Ukraine hands Russia list of kidnapped children at peace talks
During the Istanbul peace talks between the two warring sides last month, the Ukrainian delegation gave their Kremlin counterparts a list of 339 Ukrainian children being held in Russia, Zarivna said. 'It wasn't a full list. It was a test… a small first step,' she said. 'It was a way to see whether Russia is truly prepared to begin the process of returning Ukrainian children.'
In public, Russia denied that any of the 339 children had been abducted. But privately, the Russian side 'suggested swapping [the children] like poker chips for Russian prisoners of war,' Zarivna said.The idea of trading children was as abhorrent for the Americans as the Ukrainians, she said, and slowly the Trump administration began to understand the nature of Putin's regime.
Following the failed talks in Istanbul, Zarivna visited Washington, taking the issue to Congress and persuading both the House and the Senate to introduce bipartisan resolutions calling for the unconditional return of Ukrainian children. 'Our position is clear: we will not trade children for territory, infrastructure or political concessions. Ever. To do so would only encourage more abductions,' Zarivna said.
Zarivna insists she never meant to go into politics, but her clout has grown as Zelensky leans more on Yermak. The two men are accused by opposition figures of monopolising power under martial law at the expense of the country's democratic checks and balances, orchestrating the sacking, sanctioning and arrest of rivals.
In a government dominated by the presidential office, Zarivna's influence now extends beyond the ear of Yermak to that of Olena Zelenska, the first lady, with whom she works closely on Bring Kids Back UA, a presidential initiative she runs with the aim of orchestrating the children's return.
Over coffee in a Kyiv café, Zarivna batted back a playful suggestion made to The Times by Yulia Svyrydenko, Ukraine's new prime minister, that it is Zarivna who is the most powerful woman in Ukraine.
'I'm not interested in power. I'm interested in creating and I'm interested in building,' the adviser said. 'As soon as you become a political player or political stakeholder, then you have all of these games which I don't want to spend my time on. I like to build a process, find the right people and go on to the next task. This is what drives me. '
Coming from a media and advertising background, Zarivna has been labelled the chief spin doctor, even a propagandist. She has been accused of running Vertikal, a Telegram channel that smears Zelensky's rivals, a charge she flatly denies. Yet it is clear Zarivna believes in the administration and its work. In November 2022, after the liberation of her home town, Kherson, she was filmed close to tears behind Zelensky as the Ukrainian flag was raised again in the city square.
• No peace until you return our children, Ukraine tells Putin
'It was one of the best moments of my life. Like when you lost someone who mattered to you, then you managed to return them. I remember all these people came to this main area in Kherson, and they were all so happy and crying. Of course they didn't know then that the drone safari is coming,' she said, referring to Russian drone operators hunting civilians in the streets and posting the videos online, killing a year-old baby there last week.
Neighbours 'just disappeared' during the occupation, she says, and Russian troops billeted themselves in her family home, burning mementos from her childhood for firewood. Her grandmother, who stayed behind, emerged from occupation traumatised.
In the early days of the war, when Zelensky was pleading with parliaments around the world for support by invoking their own troubled times, Zarivna was involved in the team helping to write his speeches. The process is always driven by the president, she says, but the former comedian still needs an audience. 'He needs somebody to talk to because when he verbalises something, he generates all these great phrases and aphorisms,' she added. 'All the memorable quotes come from him. He's great at finding something in common with people, he's very empathetic.'
Her immediate boss, Yermak, complements Zelensky because he prioritises progress over popularity, she said. 'Public image is always a challenge. It's the nature of that job. You can be effective and get things done, or you can be universally liked, but it's almost impossible to be both,' she said.