Having trouble experiencing joy? This may be why
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Dr. Judith Joseph says joy isn't just a nice-to-have — it's a part of who we are.
'We are built with that DNA for joy. It's our birthright as human beings,' she told me recently.
Joseph is a board-certified psychiatrist and researcher who has made it her mission to study joy — and what prevents people from feeling it.
Her work, including her new book, 'High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy,' has drawn widespread attention, in part due to her pioneering research into the condition of high-functioning depression, which is finally being taken seriously.
'I wanted people to learn that, listen, depression looks different,' Joseph said.
'There are some people who struggle with anhedonia, (which means) a lack of joy,' Joseph told me. 'They don't seem depressed (but) you don't have to have sadness to meet criteria for depression.'
Joseph includes herself among those individuals who have had high-functioning depression, and she noted that 'many of us are pathologically productive.'
One of the biggest challenges in self-identifying high-functioning depression, she said, is that some people experience psychological barriers such as anhedonia and alexithymia, which is a difficulty in identifying and expressing emotions. Both can kill joy and are often overlooked in conversations about mental health because you can still function at work and at home, at least according to everyone else.
Joseph unlocked more joy in her life through strong connections with family and community. Her joy, she said, also comes from helping others access their own.
But that took time to discover.
She not only did clinical studies on high-functioning depression but she herself experienced it, even as she racked up accolades professionally.
'That was me in 2020,' Joseph said. 'I wore this mask. On the outside it looked like everything was great — I was running my lab, I had a small child, a perfect family, I was on TV. But I was struggling with anhedonia,' or the inability to feel pleasure.
So how do you combat it?
Validation: Name how you feel. Acknowledge it. Accept it. 'If we don't know how we feel, if we can't name it, we're confused, it's uncertain. We feel anxious, so naming how you feel and accepting it is so important,' Joseph explained.
Venting: Find someone you trust to express what you are going through, with a caveat. If you are not talking to a mental health professional, Joseph said to beware of 'trauma dumping' on friends and family. 'You want to check in. You want to ask for emotional consent and say, 'Is this a good time?''
Values: What gives you meaning and purpose in life? 'Think about things that are priceless. … I used to chase the accolades, the achievements, those are things that, you know, at the end of the day I'm not gonna talk about on my deathbed,' she said.
Vitals: These are the things that keep you alive and well: healthy food, consistent exercise and good sleep. They're easy to say but hard for many of us to do.
Vision: This is difficult to have when you are blinded by your own discomfort. But the joy doctor recommends you plan for more joy and stop revisiting the past.
Do not try to do all of these at once or in rapid succession, Joseph warned me.
'Don't be high functioning,' she said, when it comes to this process. It's not another problem at work. It's your life.
And remember: Happiness is external and a short-term fix like the rush you get when you buy something new or win an award.
Joy is internal. 'It's harnessed within,' Joseph said. 'You don't have to teach a child joy. We are built with it.'
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