What's in a name? 5 women on changing their moniker because of marriage, divorce — or 'Bewitched.'

Yahoo

2 days ago

In 1973, Samantha Feldman nee Selinger — who also happens to be my mother — was 12 years old, new to the United States from Israel and bewitched by Bewitched, a hit sitcom about a witch living in the suburbs with her husband and attempting to keep her powers under wraps to varying and often wacky levels of success. Feldman, who was born with the first name Sarit, fell in love not only with the show but also with its titular character, Samantha Stephens.
'She was spunky and fun and had a great personality,' she explains. 'She was ahead of her time, and she fought for things she believed in. Also, she dressed funky! She had such cool clothes.'
And that's how seventh grader Sarit became Samantha.
'Growing up, everyone mispronounced my name; it was annoying,' she says. 'After my citizenship ceremony, I told everyone, 'Now that I'm an American, my name is going to be Samantha.' It just stuck.'
People change their names for any number of reasons, whether it's because they want a moniker that better suits their identity or just really, really like TV witches. But typically, it's marriage (and, later, divorce) that's driving the update. According to a 2023 survey from the Pew Research Center, about 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages took their husband's last name upon tying the knot; 14% kept their name and 5% opted for a hyphenated mashup incorporating both names. Among men, just 5% took on their wife's last name.
'Growing up in a traditional family, I just thought it was something required," says Nicole Williams, who was born Nicole Hall. 'Like, you get married, your last name changes. I didn't know that I had a choice," she adds with a laugh.
There were other upsides to taking her spouse's name. "I was like, 'Well, to be honest, my last name is kind of boring, and I don't have a personal attachment to it,'" she tells Yahoo. "I wanted to separate ties with connections to some members of my family for personal reasons, and taking on a new last name would help drop some of that baggage.'
For the handbag designer known professionally as Julie Mollo, changing her last name to Verderame after getting married last year felt meaningful; 'I'm a hopeless romantic at heart,' she says. But she's kept her maiden name for her eponymous (and super-sparkly) bag line, a distinction that has helped her create better work-life boundaries. 'I always struggled with the blurred lines between my work life and personal life,' she tells Yahoo. 'Moving my studio out of my home was the first step. I can be Julie Mollo when I leave the house and be just Julie when I'm at home.'
Using her married name for her everyday, nonwork life has helped her embrace her entire self. But she appreciates the freedom to switch back and forth depending on the context. 'I'm grateful that my business name is my maiden name,' she says, 'because I never have to lose it or sacrifice it and change who I am.'
As far as the differences between the two Julies? 'I think Julie Verderame is a lot more relaxed, whereas Julie Mollo is much more of a boss,' she quips.
Many of the women who spoke to Yahoo about changing their name after marriage saw it as a symbol of their shared union and an important step toward building a life with their new spouse. The paperwork can be a nuisance, however. Williams, for one, still has student loans under her maiden name.
'I can't change them online and would have to send them my marriage certificate that shows my new last name," she says. "It's just a more difficult process."
Things become even more complicated when it comes to divorce, Brittney Huntington tells Yahoo. When she decided to go back to her maiden name after her split, she encountered an administrative nightmare. 'I not only had to legally change it back, but I also had to go through the painstaking and customized process for each individual credit card/account/mortgage docs, etc., that could only happen once my legal [documents, including her passport, driver's license and Social Security card] were reinstated," Huntington says. 'There was a time when only one was updated, and I needed to travel. That caused some real headaches in proving I was, in fact, me.'
As a new bride, Huntington had mixed feelings about changing her name in the first place but ultimately agreed because it was what her then-husband wanted.
'My father had passed away when I was young and had no sons, so my sister and I were the only ones able to carry on any sort of legacy of his name,' she says. 'It was very important for me to keep Huntington in there somehow, so I decided to move it to my middle name.' She also tacked on Huntington as a second middle name for her daughter.
It's an "embarrassingly long name," she admits, but it's proved helpful now that the two no longer share a last name. 'Having continuity with my maiden name in both my own name and hers has made it easier to prove I'm me (and her parent) on subsequent government and health care documents,' she says.
And though there are still some outstanding random things listed under her married name, she has otherwise fully and comfortably gone back to Huntington. 'It is, and always will be, Huntington."
Of course, there's another route to take when it comes to changing your name after divorce: making up a new one. After her first marriage ended in divorce, writer Cheryl Strayed famously opted not to keep her ex's last name or go back to her maiden name. Instead, the avid hiker and Wild author settled on Strayed, a nod to her wanderlust spirit and uprooted situation.
Erin Duran also went with option C after her divorce. And if you're thinking, 'Like the band, Duran Duran?' ... well, yes.
'In 2022, I got divorced, and my ex-husband was insistent that I didn't keep his name,' Duran tells Yahoo. 'My mom, who is a giant hippie, has changed her name multiple times. After rejecting a few of my ideas, she was like, 'Why don't you pick something you love?' Music is what I love most." She zeroed in on her favorite new wave acts. A nod to David Bowie or The Smiths? The first was "too obvious," the second too "boring." And then: "We stumbled across Duran Duran."
"Erin Duran sounded nice, easy to spell," says the divorcée, who was heartened when her friends didn't laugh when she ran the idea by them. But she admits that she wasn't really thinking clearly when she made the name change official.
'I got COVID during my divorce proceedings,' she says. 'I'm in bed with a fever, and my lawyer says he needs a name for the paperwork. I don't know if I would have done it if I had been in [my] full faculties. I don't mind being weird, but it's a commitment.'
Today, she has no regrets. She likes the way the name flows, and where it lands in the alphabet ('I grew up with the last name Wright and knew the pains of being [last]," she explains).
Most importantly, though, she likes how the name makes her feel.
'I didn't go back to my maiden name because it felt like a retreat or defeat or something,' Duran says. 'It just didn't feel right to go backward. I wanted to take control of my next chapter. To define it.'