16-02-2025
No longer guilty: How romance books have changed readers attitudes toward sex in real life
No longer guilty: How romance books have changed readers attitudes toward sex in real life
Show Caption
Hide Caption
Decoding Bookish Slang: Essential Terms Explained
The rise of BookTok has created new slang. Become an expert with our guide to all the terms you might come across on the internet.
Love is in the air – and on the page.
Look on any 'As Seen on BookTok' table at your local bookstore, and you're likely to find them: Romance books that seem demure with cursive fonts and illustrated couples on the cover, but contain pretty explicit sex scenes inside the pages.
Because of that, there can be an air of pretentiousness when readers talk about romance novels, saying 'I like something with a little bit more substance,' or feeling the need to qualify them as guilty pleasures.
'What is so guilty about reading stories about love and connection and happy endings?' says Ana Huang, the bestselling author of the 'Twisted' and 'Kings of Sin' series. 'Why is it only that the 'substantive' books are the ones that are sad and challenging?'
No guilt, just pleasure in spicy romance books
As one of romance's hottest authors (both in steamy scenes and popularity), Huang says she gets frustrated when she hears how romance is cast aside as fluff.
'A lot of genres enjoyed by women tend to be dismissed, when to me, sexuality is one of the most natural things in the world,' she tells USA TODAY. 'Obviously a lot of it is rooted in misogyny.'
And that misogyny can be internalized – many readers discover romance after years of turning their nose up at the genre.
Erica Cerulo and Claire Mazur, the founders of romance entertainment company 831 Stories, said they began reading romance again during the pandemic and quickly became 'compulsive' consumers. They take issue with the thought lauded books have to be 'challenging and/or traumatic.'
'When people discover romance … they tend to have that realization that, 'Oh wait, reading is fun.' I really like reading and why was I ascribing this homework kind of quality to it?' Cerulo says. 'It helps them fall back into the habit of reading for pleasure, reading for entertainment.'
Readers push beyond double standards to ask for what they want
Two of the most popular romantasy series – 'A Court of Thorns and Roses' by Sarah J. Maas and 'The Empyrean' series by Rebecca Yarros – have been referred to as 'faerie smut' or 'dragon smut.'
You don't see those terms connected fantasy books with sex that are written by male authors, like 'Game of Thrones' by George R.R. Martin. Not to mention that of the 50-odd chapters in 'Onyx Storm,' only five or so contain 'spicy' – or sexual – scenes. Huang said her romance books typically only have three to four.
'(The Empyrean series) is about politics, this is about leadership, this is about divided kingdoms, this is about self-journey, addiction, propaganda,' says Lexi Ayala, co-host of the Fantasy Fangirls book podcast. 'You do not walk away from it being like 'Oh my gosh, I just read a real spicy book.' No, I just read a really exciting book that had so much plot and fantasy and character growth and development and relationships on the page here and, yes, it's wonderful that sex is part of that because that is part of many of our lives.'
And despite naysayers, the genre – and all its subgenres, from contemporary cowboy romance to dark romance with morally grey leads to STEMinist rom-coms – is only growing.
Sales of romance books rose almost 9% in 2024, according to Circana BookScan data, contributing to the first year of growth in print book sales in the last three years, says Publisher's Weekly. Readers are asking for what they want and authors are getting a bigger platform to write about it being dismissed.
Kimberly Lemming, who writes fantasy romance novels like 'That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon,' is one such author. Lemming started as an independent, self-published author but after her cozy fantasy books (that include a fair amount of spice) took off on BookTok, publishers started calling. Her next novel, 'I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I'm Trapped in a Rom-Com,' publishes Feb. 18 from Penguin Random House.
'If you're not sure about a job opportunity, you should just make a ridiculous offer. So I sat down and went, 'Now, what does trad (traditional) romance not buy? Alien romance, poly romance,'' she told USA TODAY. The finished product involves an alien-human throuple, a romantic relationship between three people. 'I wrote this crazy synopsis being like, here you go, call my bluff. And they didn't.'
The boundaries of spicy romance continue getting pushed, and they keep ending up on bestseller lists – including books that heavily discuss kinks and other taboo sexual topics.
'This is what people want to read and it proves the power of the female readership and of women,' says Huang. 'Regardless of what people say, obviously these books are touching people in some way. It's bringing joy. And for me, that's what matters most.'
When sex in books is about just more than the act
The power of spicy romance books lies beyond the sexual acts on the pages – many readers and authors say these scenes offer important lessons about communication and trust.
'My husband and I have had more conversations about sex since I've picked up these books, he has also since picked up these books,' says Nicole Holleman, the other half of the Fantasy Fangirl podcast. 'That has massively impacted our lives, not only behind closed doors but also just as communicators over how to load the dishwasher.'
Mazur, of 831 Stories, calls spicy romance a 'mainstream form of sex content' that's a direct 'counterpoint to porn culture.' According to a 2022 study from the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, while pornography can have 'some positive effects on romantic relationships,' it can also 'contribute to a culture that supports both physical … and sexual … intimate partner violence (IPV) toward women.' Women receive 97% of the physically aggressive acts in pornography, one study found.
The sex in romance books, readers say, instead prioritizes female pleasure outside of the male gaze. Female characters are in control of their pleasure, emboldened to explore or let go. And male characters are complex, more of a reflection of contemporary masculinity. For some queer readers, it is the first time they see themselves represented in a sexual context that is designed for them.
'What if these books get more and more popular? What if they become even more mainstream? What if men started reading these books? How could that start to shift our ideas of what sex and relationships and beauty could look like?' Mazur asks.
Huang echoes the sentiment. "It provides a very safe space for women to explore their different fantasies and maybe even see new things that they might not have thought they were interested in. Society tends to tell you there's a specific way that you have to approach desire, there's just one great way of having sex.'
Seeing healthy relationships and sexual chemistry on the page can be formative for newly adult readers, but it's not all for the young and hungry. Kennedy Ryan, the bestselling author of 'Before I Let Go,' often features protagonists who are divorced, who are parents and who are in their 30s and 40s. She told USA TODAY she wants to write sex that is sometimes messy and is always real – she crafts women with scars or changed bodies from childbirth who have someone that loves and desires every part of them.
Spicy romance is 'an act of resistance'
Spicy romance bucks the trad wife trends, which promote traditional gender roles and more demure discussion of sexuality. It's also increasingly popular during a time when female bodily autonomy and reproductive rights are targeted. Similarly are queer and trans love stories that don't shy away from on-page sex as attacks on LGBTQ+ marriage and trans rights increase.
Ryan says she writes romance, especially featuring Black and interracial couples, as an act of resistance. Female authors driving the bestsellers and centering female pleasure 'defies the patriarchy,' she says.
'I further see Black romance even as more of an act of resistance, because of ... how we have been portrayed and how often even our beauty was not the standard,' Ryan says. 'When Black and brown women see themselves centered and celebrated, it is an act of joy. It is an act of resistance."
Cowboy romances having a moment: Why readers want to saddle up with the genre
Clare Mulroy is USA TODAY's Books Reporter, where she covers buzzy releases, chats with authors and dives into the culture of reading. Find her on Instagram, check out her recent articles or tell her what you're reading at cmulroy@
