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Cosmopolitan
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Cosmopolitan
Why I Love Grey Pubes on a Woman
Nine years ago, the summer of the Pulse nightclub shooting, I discovered my love of the silver bush on a built butch. We were one thousand miles north of the queer Orlando club, in a Manhattan apartment I was house sitting to supplement my intern's 'salary.' It's been nearly a decade since my initial introduction to greying pubes that summer night, but the mere suggestion of a silver streak still remains one of the fastest ways to turn me on. And in more recent years, as I've entered my 30s, what I first fell in love with on a former lover's body has become a secret weapon for falling in love with my own. My knight in shining silver and I met up for the first time in Washington Square Park where, just 24 hours earlier, the Dyke March had spilled out of Fifth Avenue, transforming the park into our make-shift dance floor. It was 2016 and far from my first pride parade—I came out as lesbian in high school. But with 'One Dance' blasting, the fountain splashing, and glitter glitzing just weeks after the Pulse Massacre, it remains the most impassioned one I've ever been part of. Equal parts hungry and horny, I looped the spitting mouth masterpiece, hunting for the muscled frame I'd only ever seen, unclothed, on my phone screen. Later, when we were covered in sweat and cum and city, she'd tell me she'd used those moments before I spotted her as an excuse to watch how the animal of my body moved in real time. Finally, I felt her—heard her. A 'hi' in my ear, a thick hand on my lower back, a smile more smirk than sugar. Finally, her. With the same urgency that marked that entire summer, I took her back to the brownstone I was babysitting and we fucked on the first date. Although, with the 'mine' and 'yours' braided in between our every 'on,' 'under,' and 'now,' I've always thought it might be more accurate to say we made love in the Manhattan moonlight. On account of my recent arrival to the city and her upcoming departure (she was days away from a West Coast relocation), we intended our romance to be a one-night stand. For her, a last hoorah, a happy ending. For me, a chance to be with someone older, established—to have the kind of May-December relationship I didn't need to see in Babygirl or The Idea of You to know I'd enjoy. But chemistry quickly consumed self-control and our one-night fling became a full-blown age-gap relationship. In fragments as horny as Anne Carson and as incessant as Sam Delaney, I confessed my love for the visual markers of our 13-year age difference: 'I want to lick your crows feet, feel my tongue caress the creases. I'm going to braid my hands through your hair, spot the silvers while you swallow my cum.' 'If you like the silvers that speckle my scalp,' she responded, 'you'll love the ones I can grow between my legs.' The next time I saw her, my older lover sported a silver-streaked bush where she'd previously been bare, just for me. I wanted to feel each buttery bristle against every pink part of me—and I did. Again and again. For the remainder of our love affair, each time we met up, she came to me like that: grey, glistening, and gloriously mine. Eventually our fling ended, as the most fiery ones always do. But even today, our sex life continues to have a lasting impact on my desires. So while my silver-bush kink might have bloomed in a specific moment in my personal and queer history, my love of grey pubes remains. This affinity for grey pubes has not only encouraged me to date people across multiple decades (fun!), but as I gradually begin to transition from hot bisexual babe to queer elder, I suspect this formative experience of eroticizing my lover's greying pubes has helped me embrace my own signs of aging. Over the past few years, with my 30th birthday in the rearview mirror, I've started to notice a few such signs. Smile lines that linger when I've stopped giggling. A neck creak that creeps in while giving cunnilingus if my lover's hips aren't sufficiently lifted. Fingers that fatigue before I'm finished, well, finishing. Certainly, there are moments when I miss the smooth skin and endurance that marked my sex life of a decade ago. But just as often, the passing dawn of my youth makes me think of her—and I feel hot. But more than just hot, I feel as hungry and horny for my own body as I once was for that salt-and-peppered summer fling. My early experience of loving someone older for all her wisdom and wiry greys, as it turns out, has become a kind of blueprint for admiring my own gradually aging body. 'The only exposure most of us have to sex in middle and later age is Viagra commercials and jokes about 'undesirable' older bodies,' says sex therapist Stefani Goerlich, a kink expert and author of With Sprinkles On Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect. '[This] can leave us to internalize the false message that our erotic lives are over the minute we get our first grey hair or pube.' But when we can find specific signs of aging in our past or present partners that turn us on, Goerlich says, we're better able to see ourselves as sexy and desirable when similar changes occur in our own bodies. Joan Price, the 81-year-old author of several senior sex books including Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, agrees. 'Accepting—and even celebrating—your partners' bodies for the delights they give you can help you celebrate your own, which is ultimately key to a spicy sex life throughout a lifetime.' Will my love of grey pubes alone dismantle the ageist rhetoric about good sex—especially in queer spaces? Probably not. But that won't stop those silver tufts from starring in my fantasies, or from reminding me of those unforgettable summer nights with my silver-bushed butch.
Cosmopolitan
3 days ago
- Health
- Cosmopolitan
Wait, is your body rejecting your relationship?
Pop culture likes to romanticise steamy, flawed connections to the point where passionate yet toxic dynamics have come to seem normal to impressionable audiences (see: Babygirl or Fifty Shades of Grey). This kind of desensitisation can bleed over into real life, making it harder to realise when a relationship has gone sour. Luckily, we all have something in our corner capable of signalling when it's truly time to move on: if only we knew how to listen. You've probably questioned some of these signals before with friends over dinner, or maybe you saw them in a viral January 2025 Thread asking the question: 'Girlies, how did you know your body was rejecting your ex?' About 2,000 people flocked to the comment section to share a range of physical and mental health symptoms they experienced in problematic relationships, including nausea, yeast infections, chronic UTIs, bacterial vaginosis, weight fluctuations, pain during sex, depression, anxiety, and more. Of course, all these issues could be attributed to more than just bad relationships, but let's be clear: this is also 100 per cent a real thing your body does. 'Toxic relationships can lead to toxic bodies,' says psychologist Candice Nicole Hargons, PhD, an associate professor at Emory University's Rollins School of Public Health. Your body is constantly responding to your environment, including your relationships, adds licensed marriage and family therapist Cheryl Groskopf. 'When you're in one that feels unsafe, inconsistent, or emotionally draining, your nervous system reacts.' This is exactly what happened to Stephanie* when she experienced her first migraine nearly one year into dating her former boyfriend. The headaches were nonstop and resistant to every remedy she tried, from prescription painkillers to holistic approaches like acupuncture, reflexology, and deep-tissue massages. 'I met with every specialist under the moon,' she says. Clarity finally came during therapy, a safe space where she would regularly vent about her boyfriend. 'I was in agony and my therapist wondered if my body was rebelling against him,' she remembers. Once Stephanie became single, her migraines let up. The tricky thing is that doctors can brush off these symptoms or attribute them to something else - almost anything, really, because such physical and emotional signs could be explained by many other conditions, says Groskopf. A lot of times, physicians chalk them up to 'just stress,' and while they're not wrong, the source of that stress is important, too. 'When a relationship triggers nonstop stress, your nervous system is always over-activated,' says Groskopf. 'Your body perceives the relationship as a threat, even if you don't consciously think of it that way. If symptoms improve when you're alone, around supportive people, or after time away from your partner, that's a strong indicator that your relationship is the cause.' The problems in your relationship don't have to be extreme or abusive for this to be the case. Stephanie says her relationship 'sucked' but not in the way people typically think. 'He wasn't showing up for me emotionally and we just didn't gel. The headaches were how my body was letting me know he wasn't as good as it gets.' Six months after separating from her now ex-husband, Allison* says she finally 'looked like me again.' While married, she dealt with a lot of abandonment, emotional stonewalling, and cold-shouldering that stemmed from her ex's gambling problem. 'My unhappiness literally showed on my face,' she says. She was constantly puffy and acne-prone, and her skin was irritated. She hadn't gained weight, changed anything in her diet, or started a new medication—there was no explanation for it... until the marriage was over. Experiencing symptoms like this doesn't mean you have to end things immediately, says Groskopf. Sometimes, the symptoms can go away after a couple addresses their concerns. Other times, performing micro-experiments, like taking some space before going through with a full-fledged breakup, may give you better insight as well. It can be easy to lose yourself in any kind of relationship, but the most important thing you can do first and foremost is get to know and prioritise yourself. Listen to your body—it's sending you these signals, ultimately, as a way to try and keep you safe. Many experts suggest developing some sort of mindfulness practice, like breathwork or regular therapy, before you're in a relationship so that you can be more in tune with your body's 'normal.' This can help you identify when someone in your life throws it off. 'Check in with your emotions before your body has to scream for your attention,' says Groskopf. That can be easier said than done, so logging symptoms and feelings in a journal or in your Notes app is a practical and helpful way to track patterns. It will be a good reference for you and your health care providers, too. Paying attention to when symptoms strike is also key intel. You'll be able to establish your baseline and know what your body does and feels like when it's neutral, excited, or experiencing negative changes—so you can work toward a goal of overall well-being, including the romantic kind. As Hargons says: 'When your relationship is a healthy, happy one, you have better health overall.' Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a sex and wellness journalist who writes at the intersection of queerness, sexual health, and pleasure. In addition to Women's Health, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Men's Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called
Refinery29
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Refinery29
Why Harry Styles' Sex Toy Is 'A Big Leap Forward'
Harry Styles' decision to release a sex toy has been exciting in more ways than one. The mere idea that someone as talented and gorgeous as Styles would, in any way, intersect with our sex lives has immediately given rise to fantasies and internet commentary. 'If I buy the Pleasing vibrator, does Harry Styles teach me how to use it?' pondered one X user. "'Coming soon', hell yeah I am!!!' joked another. Upon their release, the vibrator reportedly sold out in only minutes. Of course, Styles and his team anticipated such a response. Styles' career has been flanked with parasocially adoring fans ever since his One Direction debut. As he's evolved, both in age and as an artist, he's embraced an androgynous sexual charisma in the vein of David Bowie or Prince, and his latest commercial venture riffs on this appeal. The Pleasing vibrator and lubricant was accompanied by marketing rife with innuendo and fantasy, from Morse code messaging (which Redditors have since declared to be nonsensical) to a Babygirl -endorsed glass of milk. However, Styles' vibrator has the potential to be more than clever branding and fodder for quippy Tweets (as much as those were appreciated). Styles has long been using his image to challenge gender norms. From embracing skirts on the red carpet to donning nail polish and launching his gender-neutral fashion and beauty label, Pleasing, in 2021, he's been feeling his way through an idea that masculinity doesn't have to look a certain way. Sitting under this very same label, the vibrator is an extension of Styles' gender philosophy. It's his latest way of critiquing — and broadening — 'masculine' ideals. To put it plainly, when Styles — a famous, cis-gendered man — endorses a vibrator, it serves to counter a still-prevalent narrative that toys are a sign of sexual failure for men. 'When we do surveys with straight men, they report fears of being seen as creepy or pathetic for using sex toys solo, and feeling threatened by sex toys in partnered sex because they 'should be able to give their partner multiple orgasms without help'," explains Lucy Wark, co-founder of sexual wellness and pleasure company, Normal. "Whereas, the conversation for most women and the queer community is about pleasure, self-care and empowerment to enjoy sex even more. "It's actually a big leap forward to see a male celebrity with Harry Styles' profile promoting a toy, because the conversation about cis men's pleasure is a couple of decades behind.' The hope of sex educators is that, when celebrities open the door to a discussion of sex in a safe, healthy and open-minded way, this will impact the conversation at large. As sex therapist and Lovehoney expert Christine Rafe explains, 'When celebrities speak openly about sex, it gives permission for others to do the same. It creates a ripple effect which makes conversations around desire, pleasure, and boundaries feel more mainstream and less taboo.' We only need to look back to 2008 to understand the effect of one celebrity on the realm of 'sexual wellness'. The term itself is said to have been propelled into the mainstream by Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop empire. While we've come to understand the failings of some Goop products (like the Jade 'yoni' egg, which was widely discredited by gynaecologists, and also saw Goop cop a $154k fine for misleading claims), having an A-lister stand in the notion that your pleasure should be prioritised paved the way for proceeding years of abundance in sexual health conversation, and for other experts to rise. Since then, we've seen Emily Nagoski's 'Come As You Are' (first published in 2015) become one of the most influential books on female sexual pleasure, and Netflix's Sex Education (2019) thrust, well, sex education into the mainstream. While Harry Styles is far from the first celebrity to release a sex toy, he is one of the few cis celebrity men of his status to delve into this space. With the orgasm gap looming for heterosexual couples, it certainly can't hurt to have someone like Styles in the corner of external stimulation. (And, not for nothing, the Pleasing vibrator was created in collaboration with sex educator and 'Dildo Duchess', Zoë Lignon — so, it's not just for show.) At the very least, the experts all agree Styles is a welcome addition to the chat. 'Harry Styles has always embraced fluidity and self-expression,' Rafe summarises. 'So I hope his range reflects a similarly inclusive and modern view of pleasure, one that encourages people to explore what feels good without shame. Hopefully, people walk away feeling that pleasure is not just acceptable, but important — and that everyone deserves access to it, regardless of gender or experience.'
Hindustan Times
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Hindustan Times
Ana de Armas under fire for liking negative post about Nicole Kidman amid Tom Cruise romance rumors
Ana de Armas has come under fire after fans spotted her liking a controversial Instagram post mocking Nicole Kidman's appearance. The move raised eyebrows as the Babygirl star is the ex-wife of the 37-year-old actress's rumored boyfriend, Tom Cruise, 63. Ana de Armas likes post mocking Nicole Kidman(REUTERS) The now-viral post, shared by the account @/celebmess on February 6, featured a red-carpet image of the 58-year-old Oscar winner and made fun of her alleged use of facial fillers. It included a sarcastic meme using the 'Sure, Jan' phrase and highlighted an old interview where Kidman denied ever using Botox, insisting she was 'completely natural.' A dermal filler brand was also tagged. What did fans say about Ana de Armas? Ana de Armas' like prompted swift backlash from fans and critics alike. Many took to Reddit and Instagram to call out the Knives Out star and label her action 'nasty.' Several others speculated that her motivation to encourage a post critical of Kidman might have stemmed from her alleged romantic connection to Cruise. A fan commented, 'Why did Ana de Armas like this?' while another said, 'Tom Cruise is NK's ex-husband, but from 20 years ago. So it is nuts she cares.' A third user commented, 'That's kind of nasty actually.' Also read: Tom Cruise and Ana de Armas spark fresh dating rumors in London Romance rumors and lavish gestures Ana de Armas and Tom Cruise have been at the center of dating rumors since February this year. The pair is working together on upcoming thrillers directed by Doug Liman and Christopher McQuarrie; their off-set bond has caught public attention. A Daily Mail report quoted sources saying that Cruise has been showering Ana with thoughtful gifts, from flowers, books, to designer jewellery and spontaneous international trips. The insider told the publication that Cruise even spent £4,000 ($5,369) arranging a helicopter ride to Heathrow for de Armas so she would not miss a flight to New York City. Their joint appearances, including a yacht holiday in Menorca, and being spotted together before Valentine's Day, have only fuelled rumors. However, Cosmopolitan report quoted another source insisting that de Armas was single and described Cruise as 'mentor' she deeply respects. Nicole Kidman on Tom Cruise and Ana de Armas' alleged romance Nicole Kidman, who was married to Tom Cruise from 1990 to 2001, has stayed private amid the speculation. She now has two daughters with country singer Keith Urban, whom she married in 2006. Kidman and Cruise share two adopted children, Isabella and Connor. De Armas has not publicly responded to the controversy around her Instagram activity, and her team has not commented. FAQs: 1. What happened to Ana de Armas when she was 18? At 18, Ana de Armas moved from Cuba to Spain to pursue her acting career, enrolling at Madrid's National Theatre School. 2. Is Ana de Armas with Tom Cruise? While the two are rumoured to be romantically involved due to frequent public sightings, no official confirmation has been made. Ana has been described as 'single' by sources. 3. Does Ana de Armas have heterochromia? No, Ana de Armas does not have heterochromia. Her eye colour is naturally green. 4. Why did Ben Affleck dump Ana de Armas? Reports suggest the relationship ended due to different life priorities. Affleck reportedly wanted to stay in Los Angeles for his children, while de Armas desired more travel and freedom.
Metro
7 days ago
- Entertainment
- Metro
Nicole Kidman could flee Trump's US after applying for residency in Europe
Nicole Kidman could be swapping US soil for the sun of Portugal after applying for residency in the country. The Babygirl actor, 58, submitted her paperwork to the country's immigration agency earlier this week, according to local media outlet SIC Notícias. The Australian icon, who was seen stepping out of a private jet in Cascais – a wealthy seaside enclave just outside of Lisbon – is reportedly browsing for a lavish new pad. The Oscar-winner is said to be eyeing up a property at the CostaTerra Golf and Ocean Club, a luxury development about 130km south of Lisbon, which is known as a favourite among the Hollywood elite. George Clooney and Paris Hilton enjoy spending time here, and it is also a base for Princess Eugenie. Husband Keith Urban was reportedly not mentioned in the documents. The New York Post reports that the Blue Ain't Your Colour singer was unable to break away from touring for the trip. 'Keith was unable to be in Portugal for this appointment as he is currently on tour in the US, and it is mandatory for applicants to be physically present to apply for the visa,' The Post reported. 'He is scheduled to submit his application at a later date that works with his tour schedule.' The Portugal Golden Visa program allows investors to obtain residency through real estate investment. Kidman and Urban already own a home in Lisbon. Kidman and Urban have multiple properties across the US and Australia, with the Holland actor spending much of her time in the US due to work. They wouldn't be the first stars to leave the US since Trump's presidency began. Comedian Rosie O'Donnell moved from the US to Ireland, with Trump recently threatening to revoke her citizenship. Posting on Truth Social, he said the star was 'not in the best interests of our great country', adding: 'I am giving serious consideration to taking away her Citizenship. She is a Threat to Humanity, and should remain in the wonderful Country of Ireland, if they want her.' O'Donnell posted a picture of Trump with his arm around Jeffrey Epstein on her Instagram in response. Addressing the President, she suggested she lives 'rent-free in that collapsing brain of yours' after 18 years of animosity between them. The comedian added: 'You are everything that is wrong with america – and I'm everything you hate about what's still right with it. More Trending 'You want to revoke my citizenship? go ahead and try, king joffrey with a tangerine spray tan.' Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has fled the US for the UK at the end of 2024. Ellen and her wife, Portia de Rossi, made the leap and ditched their life in Montecito and set themselves up in the ultra-luxury English countryside, the Cotswolds. The Wrap reported that the duo told friends that Trump's coming to power was the 'primary motivation' and that they planned to 'never return' to the US. Got a story? If you've got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@ calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff page – we'd love to hear from you. MORE: The Jonas Brothers reflect on creepy questions about their sex life aged 14 MORE: Denise Welch reveals why she's 'glad' to not be Taylor Swift's mother-in-law MORE: 70s jazz musician Chuck Mangione dies aged 84
