Latest news with #DrBecky
Yahoo
6 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Are Rewards for Children Actually Harmful?
The anti-reward movement seems to be growing... but is it really backed by research? Sticker charts, earning something special for 'good behavior,' and paying children an allowance for completing chores have long been common practice among parents. Yet, in recent years, these type of reward systems have come under attack by many parenting influencers and experts. In the world of 'gentle parenting,' rewards for behavior are a big no-no. Dr. Becky, Big Little Feelings, Janet Lansbury, and many other popular parenting influencers advise parents to avoid rewarding their children— even claiming that rewards can be disrespectful or damaging for children. As Dr. Becky says, 'we are raising humans, not training animals.' Yet, at the same time, most child psychologists advocate that parents use rewards and most evidence-based parenting programs include the use of a reward system. Interestingly enough, both sides claim that their position is backed by research. So why is the advice of parenting influencers so different from child psychologists and how can both sides claim to have research on their side? What does research really find about rewards? The Anti-Reward Movement The crusade against rewards was initially spearheaded by author and gentle parenting icon, Alfie Kohn. [An interesting side note is that Alfie Kohn also led the crusade against the phrase 'good job'.] In 1993, Alfie Kohn wrote a book titled Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes. In this book, Kohn claims that rewards are 'useless' and 'counterproductive' because rewards ultimately make children lose interest in what you are rewarding them for and they become motivated only by the reward rather than the task itself. In other words, he argued that when you provide external motivation (such as rewards) children lose internal or intrinsic motivation. According to this line of thinking, rewarding children for cleaning their rooms could prevent them from developing an internal drive to take care of their spaces and, perhaps more importantly, from grasping the ethical importance of contributing to the household in a meaningful way. According to Kohn, rewards result in short-term gain in exchange for long-term damage to motivation, creativity, learning, achievement, and even moral development. So are these claims backed by research? What Does the Actual Research Say? The confusion around rewards make sense because at an initial glance the research itself is confusing. Some research has backed up the claims of Alfie Kohn and the parenting influencers, finding that rewards decrease intrinsic motivation (translation: rewards make children lose interest in the task or behavior that you are rewarding and they become less likely to engage in it when you take your reward away). Yet, some research finds that rewards increase intrinsic motivation (translation: rewards actually make children more likely to do the task or behavior you are rewarding them for, even after you take the reward away). A closer examination of the research reveals a pattern— rewards intrinsic motivation for an activity that a child already enjoys (such as drawing) but intrinsic motivation for an activity that a child doesn't already enjoy (such as cleaning their room). Even for tasks that a child already enjoys, rewards may only decrease intrinsic motivation if they are tangible (that is, a reward you can touch such as candy, stickers, or money). This is a really important distinction because it really only makes sense that parents would reward children for activities that children don't already enjoy and aren't motivated to do on their own. For example, if your child really enjoys taking a bath and they eagerly get in the bath every night, you wouldn't think to set up a reward system for taking a bath. However, if your child hates taking a bath and it is a fight every night, a reward system might be just what you need. Translation: Research suggests that you don't really have to worry about rewarding your child for the types of tasks you would typically set up a reward system for (that is, the tasks they aren't doing on their own). For activities your child isn't already doing on their own, rewards may help to 'jumpstart' intrinsic motivation. How this works is that rewards get the child to engage in something they may not have without the reward and eventually they start to see the intrinsic motivation. Going back to the bath example— your child may initially hate bathing and only take a bath to get a reward. Yet, when they start taking a bath every night, they may start enjoying the calming experience of the bath in their bedtime routine and the feeling of being clean. Eventually they love bathing for bathing's sake and, just like that, they have developed the intrinsic motivation to take a bath. Another example— your child may not be initially motivated to have a clean room but if you give them rewards for cleaning their room, they may start to realize that they like being able to easily walk around their room and find everything they need and they may start to enjoy the sense of accomplishment they get from cleaning their room. Ultimately, they become intrinsically motivated to keep their room clean. You can eventually fade out the rewards as the activity itself becomes intrinsically rewarding. There is also no doubt that rewards have other benefits above and beyond increasing intrinsic motivation such as encouraging persistence and improving children's control over their own behavior. In addition, parenting training programs that use reward systems have been found to have significant and long-lasting positive impacts on children's behavior and the parent-child relationship. An Important Exception… There is some evidence that providing tangible rewards for social behavior, such as helping others or sharing, may undermine intrinsic motivation (that is, make children less likely to want to help others or share in the future). This makes sense since these types of social behaviors should be rewarding in themselves. Intangible rewards such as praise or positive attention do not seem to have the same impact and parents should feel free to use praise and positive attention for any social behavior they would like to see more often ('I noticed that you shared your toys with your friend'). Bribes Versus Rewards Many parents have heard that they should not bribe their children. But what exactly is a bribe and how is it different from a reward? A bribe is when a parent promises a reward to stop 'bad' behavior. For example, if your child is hitting their sibling in the backseat and you say: 'If you leave your sister alone, then we can go get ice cream'. A reward on the other hand would be offered in the absence of 'bad' behavior . Bribes are a problem because they are actually rewarding the 'bad' behavior because your child may learn that if they engage in that behavior, you will reward them to stop doing it which indirectly rewards the 'bad' behavior. What About Children with ADHD? It is also important to note that reward systems may be particularly effective with children with ADHD. However, research also shows that children with ADHD may respond more positively to smaller, more immediate rewards than larger delayed rewards. Overall Translation Using rewards with children may have many positive impacts and we have no consistent evidence of negative impacts (with the very important exception of using rewards for tasks your child is already motivated to complete or positive social behavior like sharing or helping). More research is needed but the research we do have gives parents some guidance. Here are some evidence-based tips for using rewards with children in a way that does not decrease intrinsic motivation and may actually improve your child's behavior: Avoid using rewards for tasks your child already enjoys or is already motivated to do. For example, if your child is very motivated to be potty-trained and interested in using the potty, you may not want to use rewards. However, if your child does not seem motivated or interested, rewards may be essential. A good rule of thumb is whether they are doing the task without you asking them to do it. Avoid using rewards for any type of social interaction (such as sharing, playing nicely with siblings, or helping others). These activities should be enjoyable and motivating in themselves. However, praising and giving positive attention to these behaviors can be very effective and should not impact intrinsic motivation. Base rewards on the child's performance. Decide in advance which specific behaviors you will reward and only reward those behaviors. If rewards are given willy-nilly, they lose their meaning. Reward your child immediately and consistently after the behavior. Rewards need to be immediate and consistent or children will not link the behavior to the reward. Research also finds that immediate rewards tend to increase intrinsic motivation more than delayed rewards. Don't use bribes. In other words, don't use rewards to stop 'bad' behavior or your child may ultimately link the reward to that behavior. Find the system that works best for you and stick to it. Some parents prefer a sticker chart, some prefer tally marks on a piece of paper, some prefer apps (I personally love and use the app Stellar). Go through some trial and error to find out what system you can use consistently and seems to be the most motivating to your child. You may have to use concrete and immediate rewards for children who are three or younger (this is very important to remember if you are considering using rewards for potty training). Gradually stop using rewards when they are no longer necessary. There isn't research specifically informing when and how parents should fade rewards so pay attention to your child and notice when the reward seems less and less important and gradually phase it out. Solve the daily Crossword
CBS News
4 days ago
- Business
- CBS News
How Circle is Helping Creators and Brands Reclaim Their Audience in the Age of AI
This content was provided by Acumen Media for Circle. This advertiser content was paid for and created by Acumen. Neither CBS News nor CBS News Brand Studio, the brand marketing arm of CBS News, were involved in the creation of this content. When algorithms control what we see, hear and engage with online, owning your audience isn't just a competitive edge, it's essential. That shift away from social media dependency and the growing need for more intentional, human connection is Circle's focus. AI, automation and big data have unlocked powerful opportunities for businesses. But for creators and brands that built their followings on rented platforms like Instagram, Facebook or YouTube, these technological advances also come with risk. A single platform change, or arbitrary ban, can suddenly cut off access to the audience they worked so hard to grow and the income generated. That's where Circle comes in. Founded in 2020, Circle gives creators and brands a way to bring their community, content and business under one roof, with a fully branded website and mobile app. Today, more than 15,000 communities run on Circle, from Harvard's CrimsonConnect to coaching programs led by Jay Shetty, Dr. Becky and Tim Ferriss. Circle's all-in-one platform makes it easy to host courses, events, live streams, email campaigns, payments, and discussions all in one place, all under your own brand. "We believe the future belongs to brands and creators who own their audience and their destiny," says Circle CEO and Co-Founder Sid Yadav. "With Circle, they don't just build communities, they build businesses." One of those creators is Anne-Laure Le Cunff, founder of Ness Labs and a featured voice in the documentary. She built her community on Circle around a peer learning model, where members grow through shared experience rather than top-down instruction. "I was mostly posting on social media, which is a great way to build an audience," explains Le Cunff, "but not necessarily a good way to build a community, because people don't get to know each other and build those relationships." Her story reflects a broader movement from transactional brand interactions to mutual, community-driven relationships that benefit both creators and their audiences. Circle says it's leading that shift, not just by offering an escape from algorithms, but by creating a way to grow online businesses through community. With Circle Plus, their premium offering, brands can even launch fully branded mobile apps, giving them complete control of the customer experience, from content delivery to real-time engagement and payments. As people grow tired of online noise and constant scrolling, Circle is investing in something deeper: transformation through community. From professional networks and learning communities, to lifestyle clubs and coaching groups, Circle's customers are building sustainable businesses rooted in belonging, not just reach. While Economy 4.0 explores the technologies reshaping our digital lives, Circle offers an optimistic view of what comes next, a future where creators own their audience, their members feel seen, and communities grow stronger together. Learn more at
Yahoo
09-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Dr. Becky: TIME100 Creators 2025
Credit - Melanie Dunea During the COVID-19 pandemic, clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy emerged as a modern-day Dr. Spock for a new generation of anxious, overwhelmed parents. The 42-year-old mother of three is known for speaking directly to the camera—often on New York City streets after dropping off her children at school or a sports game—and sharing personal parenting anecdotes and practical advice with an audience of more than 3.4 million across Instagram and TikTok. Kennedy's philosophy centers on the belief that every child, even one who's mid-tantrum, is 'good inside'—a phrase that's evolved into the title of her chart-topping podcast, best-selling book, and parenting platform, which offers paid workshops on everything from screentime to sibling rivalry. Rather than focusing on punishment, Kennedy equips parents with scripts and strategies to help their kids feel seen, heard, and understood. For millions of Millennials, Dr. Becky has become the go-to voice of reason in the chaos of child-rearing. Data and insights powered by #paid Write to Eliana Dockterman at
Fast Company
08-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Fast Company
Dr. Becky is the parenting guru for the social media era. Now she's an AI chatbot, too
Dolores Ballesteros, a Mexico-based mother of two, was getting desperate. Her 6-year-old son kept hitting his brother, age 3, and seemed angry at her all the time. No matter what she did, she couldn't get through to him. At her lowest moments, she says, 'I really thought he was acting like a psychopath.' Last Mother's Day, she asked her husband for outside help: a subscription to the Good Inside parenting app and its AI chatbot. Ballesteros began using the chatbot to coach her through her son's temper tantrums in real time. It encouraged her to ask him about his feelings and embrace the most generous interpretation of his actions. 'That was really good for my relationship with him,' she says. It also reminded her to set aside time for herself. 'The chatbot told me that I only have so much patience,' she recalls. Today, Ballesteros feels more connected to her son and more confident as a parent, and she credits the companion in her pocket with the transformation. Launched last August, the Good Inside chatbot is trained on the teachings of Manhattan-based clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy, known to her 3.2 million Instagram followers as 'Dr. Becky.' Kennedy had a thriving practice focused on helping parents through difficult moments with their kids when she hopped onto Instagram in 2020 to share her wisdom. She quickly found an audience, especially among parents who were struggling to manage their kids in COVID lockdowns. In her plainspoken videos, Kennedy coaches parents through common dilemmas (for example, difficult potty training, or how to speak with a teen who feels 'fat') with an emphasis on developing a healthy parent–child relationship. Often appearing in sweatpants and with messy hair, she films her videos between family therapy appointments or in the aftermath of a struggle with one of her own children, ages 13, 10, and 7. This makes Kennedy all the more relatable and equipped with actionable advice. She aims to create 'sturdy' parents—who embrace their authority around their children but don't assert it too strongly—and she frequently reminds them that their kids are essentially good, even if they act out. Using this framework, which Kennedy calls the Good Inside method, she believes parents can tackle just about anything that comes their way.
Yahoo
02-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Khloe Kardashian, Chrissy Teigen and Kristen Bell Are as Obsessed With Dr. Becky as Your Mom Friends
If you've ever googled 'am I a terrible mom or just tired' chances are you've ultimately landed in the calm, comforting world of Dr. Becky Kennedy at Good Inside — and if you haven't yet, ask Kristen Bell, Gigi Hadid, Blake Lively or pretty much any parent you know. The clinical-psychologist-turned-parenting-expert has more than 3 million Instagram followers who turn to her when parenting gets rough — whether it's kids hitting their siblings, refusing to go to sleep or getting into daily standoffs over disappointing snacks — and many of them are seriously A-list. Chrissy Teigen, is the latest star to make regular moms extremely jealous by getting personal access to the guru, spending an hour chatting to her for the June 25 episode of her podcast, 'Self Conscious.' Teigen, 39, who shares Luna, 9, Miles, 7, Esti and Wren, both 2, with singer John Legend, took to Instagram afterwards to rave about Kennedy. 'Oh man. I could nottt wait for this talk with she wrote. 'Of course, the conversation centered around parenting and all its ups and downs, but I didn't realize that so much of our convo would bring me back to my own childhood. I didn't grow up with a lot of emotional mirroring — no one really reflected back my sadness or joy — so now, learning to do that for my kids sometimes feels…a bit foreign at times. But boy do I f***ing do it. Because I want to raise kids who feel seen, safe, and sure of themselves.' She added that the conversation had her 'laughing, crying and realizing that parenting isn't about perfection.' How Kourtney Kardashian, Ryan Reynolds and More Are Gentle Parenting: Co-Sleeping and Beyond Earlier in June, Kennedy also appeared on Khloé Kardashian's 'Khloé in Wonderland' podcast, on the topic of 'Raising Resilient Kids, Setting Limits and Mom Guilt.' Kardashian, 41 — who has two kids: daughter True, 7, and son Tatum, 2 — told Kennedy that her phone 'lit up like a Christmas tree' when she told her circle that she was meeting with her. It seems this academic (and mother of three kids herself) is one of the few names out there who can get even the most famous people in the world feeling seriously starstruck. And it's been a rapid rise: in March 2020, she had just 200 Instagram followers when she posted some wise words that ended up going viral: 'Most young kids will remember how their family home felt during the coronavirus panic more than anything specific about the virus. Our kids are watching us and learning about how to respond to stress and uncertainty. Let's wire our kids for resilience, not panic.' So, why does Kennedy's brand of wisdom resonate so much with millennial celebrity moms and dads? In the '80s and '90s it seemed like stars outsourced all things parenting to fleets of nannies, or at the very least subscribed to strict, structured self-styled gurus like Gina Ford, famous worldwide for her 'controlled crying' techniques. Now, they're nodding knowingly when Kennedy says things like 'Kids are born with all the feelings but none of the skills to manage the feelings' and showing the world that they are advocates for the brand of kind, gentle but 'sturdy' parenting that Kennedy promotes. Unlike the old-school parenting playbooks full of sticker charts and consequences, Dr. Becky's approach is more therapist-meets-bestie. Well, celebrities are a lot more warm and fuzzy these days in general than they were a few decades ago. Now, thanks to social media, we know them — or at least feel like we do. Following Dr. Becky at Good Inside — Amy Schumer, James Van Der Beek, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ashley Graham and Reese Witherspoon are also on the long list — shows the world that they're not shallow, disinterested parents who are raising messed-up nepo babies, but that they really care. And when we see these stars endorsing Kennedy's philosophies and techniques by engaging with her online, we realize that celebrity kids aren't perfect robo-children, they're just as messy and complicated as our own regular kids. There's something reassuring and comforting in realizing that even the genetically-blessed offspring spawned by Grammy winning musicians and gazillionaire supermodels still get angry when their Switch is taken away or throw a tantrum when their cucumber is cut the wrong way. The Best Celebrity Parenting Quotes of 2024, From Angelina Jolie to Ryan Reynolds It helps that Kennedy, unlike many of the colder, sometimes more patronizing 'experts' dispensing wisdom online, is super likeable. She's eager to emphasize that her own kids aren't perfect either, and she delivers her advice and ideas with the warm energy of your most emotionally intelligent girlfriend. She's built her mini-empire — her Good Inside platform offers online workshops and her book of the same name is a New York Times bestseller — around the concept that all kids are 'good inside,' even when they're scribbling on the walls or biting the dog. And of course, that's going to particularly appeal to high-profile parents who are worried their kids are growing up with privileges they didn't necessarily experience themselves. Mostly, though, stars love Dr. Kennedy for the same reason as the rest of Us: she makes you feel like you haven't completely ruined your child just because you lost it over a yogurt tube. Bell and Graham have talked about using her methods to manage their kids' big feelings, but that advice works just as well for the average overstimulated parent hiding in the bathroom scrolling Instagram while secretly eating a cookie. And while her advice is psychologically grounded, it's also refreshingly non-judgmental. She doesn't shame. She doesn't roll her eyes. She reminds you that you're good inside, too — even if you said 'fine, have the iPad' before 7 a.m because you downed one too many frozen margs last night. In a parenting world full of extremes — tiger moms, free-range kids, competitive Pinterest lunchboxes — Dr. Becky offers something radical: calm, compassionate, middle-ground sanity. No wonder the celebs are into her. No wonder the rest of Us are, too.
