Latest news with #FairleighDickinsonUniversity
Yahoo
4 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Parents of ultra-successful kids do these things
EDITOR'S NOTE: Kara Alaimo is an associate professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her book 'Over the Influence: Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back' was published in 2024 by Alcove Press. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Bluesky. When Jerry Groff's 14-year-old daughter Sarah told him she wanted to swim across a 9-mile lake one Sunday morning, he could have responded in several ways: This idea is crazy — and even dangerous. You should practice swimming more first. We already have other plans. Instead, Jerry and his son boated next to Sarah as she swam. And Jerry's wife, brother and sister-in-law drove along the lake in case Sarah needed a ride home, Susan Dominus wrote in her just-released book, 'The Family Dynamic: A Journey Into the Mystery of Sibling Success.' Sarah ended up swimming the whole lake and setting a town record that day. Today, Sarah True is a two-time Olympian and professional athlete. Her brother, Adam Groff, is a successful entrepreneur. And her sister, Lauren Groff, is an acclaimed novelist. Having parents who fostered their independence was a common theme among people who have grown up to make outsize achievements, according to Dominus, a New York Times Magazine staff writer who interviewed six families for the book. These parents 'were not afraid to let their kids fail at something that seemed really hard,' she said. 'They let their kids make their choices, even if they knew those choices would be difficult.' It's just one of the lessons parents and guardians can take from her research into raising successful kids. While the parents Dominus profiled generally supported their kids' dreams, they didn't micromanage their children's progress. 'In not one of these families were the parents overly involved in their kids' educational lives,' she said. 'They were paying attention, they were supportive, they were there.' But when they showed up for their kids' games, they didn't try to tell the coaches how to do their jobs. Instead, Dominus said, parents focused largely on providing warm, supportive homes and let people like teachers, coaches and other mentors handle the instruction and discipline of their children. In part, adults didn't 'overparent' because they themselves were busy serving as powerful examples, working hard and contributing to their communities. Generally, whether they worked outside or inside the home, they 'were in roles that they felt were meaningful,' Dominus said. While she was raising her children in Florida in the 1950s, another parent, Millicent Holifield, persuaded the state to create a nursing school for Black women. One of her children, Marilyn Holifield, chose to be one of the first students to desegregate her high school in the early '60s and went on to become a local civic leader and the first Black woman partner at a major law firm in Florida. As a Harvard Law School student, Millicent's son Bishop fought for changes to promote racial equity at the school and later convinced the state of Florida to reopen the Florida A&M University law school so more Black lawyers could be trained. Another son, Ed, became a cardiologist and public health advocate. These driven parents imparted the belief that their kids could conquer the world, too. 'There was a tremendous optimism among so many of these families,' Dominus said. 'It's one thing just to say that. But your kids know if you feel it or if you don't, and their own lives had given them reason for optimism.' That's because many of those parents had overcome difficult things 'or surprised themselves or surprised even societal expectations.' Another common theme was valuing education and being curious and open to new experiences, like travel, art and music. To have those experiences, the parents of ultra-successful siblings needed to find the right places and people. They tended to have supportive villages — literally and figuratively. 'They didn't just live in neighborhoods that offered a lot of enrichment,' Dominus said. 'They took great advantage of it.' The Holifields lived near a university in Tallahassee and made the most of it by taking their kids to local cultural events and enrolling them in art lessons, a children's theater and a journalism workshop. Other parents worked to connect their kids to successful people who could teach them skills. Ying Chen immigrated to the United States from China, worked seven days a week in her family's restaurant and wasn't fluent in English, but she cultivated relationships with accomplished local musicians she met so her children could learn to play instruments. Her son Yi became the fifth employee at Toast, a restaurant management business that went public with the biggest IPO in Boston's history. Chen's son Gang joined another notable startup, Speak, which uses AI to help people learn languages. Her daughter, Elizabeth, became a physician. And her son Devon went on to work for Amazon. Of course, we don't all need to raise CEOs or Olympic athletes. People who pour so much energy into one pursuit often have less time to invest in other aspects of their lives, Dominus found in her research for the book. 'To achieve really great things requires sacrifice — and that can be in love. It can be in quality of relationships. It can be in peace of mind, it can be in downtime, it can be in reflection,' she said. If kids set hugely ambitious goals for themselves, it's a good idea to 'remind them that there are costs associated with it.' Parents or guardians often worry about whether they're making the right decisions about things like whether to co-sleep or punish kids, but Dominus said 'these variations, it turns out, have less effect on things like personality and other kinds of outcomes than we really imagined that they do.' Instead, focus on having strong relationships with your children and, most important, Dominus said, 'don't demotivate your kid by being overly involved.' The parents Dominus profiled were the kind who didn't tell their kids they had to swim a lake but let them give it a shot when they wanted to — and were there to love and support them regardless of whether they failed or set a record. Get inspired by a weekly roundup on living well, made simple. Sign up for CNN's Life, But Better newsletter for information and tools designed to improve your well-being.
Forbes
11-04-2025
- Sport
- Forbes
Yeshiva University And Lehman College Broke 141 Games Of Losing Streaks
On a blustery day earlier this week, on a baseball field at Fairleigh Dickinson University in Teaneck, New Jersey, history was made. Truth be told, before a single pitch was thrown, fans and looky-loos alike knew that they were about to witness something monumental. They simply didn't know in which direction. You see, taking the field for that day's double-header was Lehman College, based in the Bronx, living through a 42-game losing streak. On the other side of the diamond was Yeshiva University, based in Washington Heights, which had lost 99 games in a row. Barring some act of G-d, one team was going to break their streak and go home happy; and one team's futility would continue for at least another game. It should be noted that these two New York-based teams played these games in New Jersey, at a neutral site, not because of its historic nature; not because 'everything is legal in Jersey'; and not to avoid a Manhattan / Bronx border skirmish. Rather, it was because neither school's field was in playing condition after storms swept through New York last weekend. Yeshiva was the first to convince Fairleigh Dickinson to host the games at to the Naimoli Family Baseball Complex on its turf field, so they became the home team. In the first game, played under clear skies and at roughly 39 degrees in front of approximately 250 fans, the teams went back and forth. Yeshiva scored two in the bottom of the first, surrendered one in the top of the second, and then scored three more in the bottom of the second. Lehman struck back with three in the top of the third, but then surrendered one more in the bottom of the fifth. Going to the seventh (which would have been the last inning as double headers limit each game to seven innings), Yeshiva held a two-run lead and needed just three outs to break their 99-game streak. Since both of these of these schools are Division-III, they do not offer scholarships. These kids are playing for the love of the game. Most were not heavily recruited. In the case of Yeshiva, an Orthodox Jewish school, most of the students could not have played elsewhere, as college baseball is known for Friday nights and Saturday afternoons – said differently, during Shabbat – when they could not participate. As the game moved to the seventh, the players began to show what the pressure of two massive losing streaks can do to your psyche. The first Lehman batter of the seventh walked, and so did the second (after a pitching change). The third was hit by a pitch, which put the tying runs in scoring position and the lead run on base – all with no outs. After yet another pitching change, a double tied the game. Anyone in attendance at that moment could have sensed this game was over – Yeshiva had given up the lead, Lehman had two runners in scoring position and there were still no outs. But a comebacker to the mound, followed by a strikeout, and then a fly ball kept the game knotted at six. Yeshiva wasted a single in the bottom half of the seventh, and thus the game went to extra innings. In the top of the eighth, the first three Lehman hitters singled, loading the bases with no outs. [But, here too the stress shone through. Lehman's Argenis Sanchez dropped a bunt to move the runners up, but when the Yeshiva players converged to field the ball, no one covered first, allowing the batter to reach. It went down as a hit.] In the bottom half of the eighth, Yeshiva went strikeout, ground out, strikeout, giving Lehman their first win since their current head coach – Chris Delgado – was a player on the team in 2023. The loss pushed Yeshiva's record of futility into triple digits. Winning pitcher Justin Chamorro, a biology major who is going into a PA program after the season, threw a complete game, striking out a career-high thirteen. According to Michael Clair, who was in attendance for both games, Chamorro said the following after the game: And when asked about that winning feeling, Chamorro said it was 'a sense of relief, a sense of joy.' The second game of the double dip started about 20 minutes after the first. Maybe coming so close in time to an extra innings loss took all of Yeshiva's angst away; maybe actually hitting the century mark in consecutive defeats was a release valve; maybe having the sun beginning to set and the crowd thin to a reported 70 onlookers took the pressure off. Whatever it was, Yeshiva came out swinging, scoring thrice in the bottom of the first, and then four more times in the bottom of the third. When the Maccabees scored two insurance runs in the bottom of the fifth, they led 9-3, and looked well on their way to getting off their own schneid. A walk and a double in the top of the sixth made the score 9-4. And a wild pitch in the top of the seventh gave Lehman their final run. When Noah Steinmetz (whose older brother Jacob plays in the Arizona Diamondbacks' system as the only Orthodox Jewish player in the minor leagues, and whose father coaches Yeshiva's basketball team) struck out Sanchez, the streak was finally over. After fielding the errant strike three and tossing it to first to record the final out, catcher Jacob Canner hugged Steinmetz in front of home plate, and the team quietly celebrated their victory – as if it was old hat, and not something that hadn't happened since 2022. In some ways, the outcome on Tuesday afternoon was perfect. Both teams broke their streaks. Yeshiva ran theirs to a cool 100 before changing the tide. The Lightning Bug of Lehman gave their 26-year-old coach a boost of confidence as he continues to build his alma mater program, and the Maccabees of Yeshiva got to ride off into the desert of their Passover break on a winning note. When these two schools ventured to New Jersey on Tuesday afternoon, they were sporting a combined 141 consecutive losses. Dayenu!
Yahoo
31-03-2025
- General
- Yahoo
How to prevent doomscrolling from controlling you
Kara Alaimo is an associate professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her book 'Over the Influence: Why Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back' was published in 2024 by Alcove Press. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Bluesky. What do modern social media users have in common with American soldiers who decided not to return to the United States after being held as prisoners of war in North Korea? More than you might think, according to one professor. We're all potential victims of mind control, according to Rebecca Lemov, a historian of science at Harvard University and author of the new book 'The Instability of Truth: Brainwashing, Mind Control, and Hyper-Persuasion.' The American soldiers were brainwashed into not wanting to go home through tactics including isolation, the fraying of social bonds and sleep deprivation, Lemov said. And she argues that the same things happen to many users of social apps, and it's awful for their mental health. After decades of studying brainwashing in situations including POWs, cults and torture, she's concluded that 'this is something to which we're all susceptible, and that we consistently underestimate our malleability.' But while social networks may manipulate our emotions, we can take steps to protect ourselves by drawing on lessons from her research. Social media affects users differently, Lemov noted, comparing it to some people's experiences in cults. 'What's a cult for one person may not necessarily have the same effect on someone else,' she noted. When one person who is recruited decides to go all in, another 'may get certain things out of it, but not decide to give over their life savings or things like that.' She said social media is the same way. It affects different people differently, perhaps partly because of past experiences. That's why, when we consume content online, it's wise to pay attention to how we're feeling. 'Social media really puts you in your head a lot,' she said. 'It's almost as if you're an entity without a body.' What to do about it: Lemov pays attention to her own reactions by meditating every day, which gives her a way to tune in to sensations in her body and how they change. If a particular type of content leaves someone feeling anxious or upset, that's a helpful signal to consume less of it and even block those who create that kind of online work. It's not just how different kinds of social media influence our emotions. Lemov said social networks may actively manipulate us. In 2014, Facebook revealed it had conducted an experiment without users' knowledge showing it could influence their moods. The platform showed some users more positive content and others more negative content, then examined the emotions those users conveyed in their later posts. Those shown more positive posts seemed happier, and those who saw more negative posts seemed less happy. 'It was almost like a proud announcement (by Facebook executives that they) have the capability to … tune emotions as if we had a volume control,' Lemov said, noting that the social network received a lot of backlash after its announcement. Spending time on social media can isolate people, and unlike with prisoners of war, it's ostensibly by choice. 'The more time is spent on social media, the less time is spent in social groups,' Lemov said, referring to clubs and bowling leagues that were more popular in the past. As a result, she said, people can miss out on developing social skills. Lemov said she thinks that spending more time on social media can explain why so many people are lonely. It's a Catch-22 situation: People who are lonely tend to use social networks more, according to a 2016 study. And the continued use of social media could make them lonelier. Being lonely is terrible for a person's mental health. One study conducted during Covid-19 lockdowns found loneliness was heavily associated with greater depression and thoughts of suicide. What to do about it: To combat what former US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called an epidemic of loneliness, Lemov recommended challenging yourself to join groups that meet offline to socialize, whether it's a book club, a walking group, card game night, ultimate frisbee (or name your fun activity here). It doesn't even have to be that organized all the time. I like to remind my students that they can put their phones away and talk to the people next to them on the bus, at lunch and at social events. Then they'll have an opportunity to strike up conversations and sometimes true friendships. People who use social media more might also miss out on sleep — another thing that is essential to our mental health. Research has found that young people who use social media more tend to go to sleep later. Using smartphones in the middle of the night can also interfere with sleep. Not getting enough sleep is terrible for mental and physical health. Studies have found that sleep deprivation is associated with much higher anxiety and depression. What to do about it: Lemov recommended social media users work on what's called good sleep hygiene. I recommend my students leave phones outside their bedrooms when they go to bed for the night. Then it's easier to fight the temptation to stay up scrolling after bedtime or check the phone when waking up in the middle of the night, because the device isn't within arm's reach. Using social apps more can mean we spend less time socializing in real life and sleeping — both essential to our mental health. By making sure we realize how social media use affects us, spending time socializing offline and getting enough sleep, we can stay in control of our lives rather than letting social networks control us.
Forbes
26-03-2025
- Business
- Forbes
So You Want To Work For Yourself, Eh?
Portrait of young businesswoman standing in office with a digital tablet. Confident asian ... More businesswoman in office. When I started my coaching practice 28 years ago, 99 of every 100 people I coached were looking for a job; the other one wanted advice on going into business. By the onset of Covid, it had become a 75-25 split – one of every four. The great job market of the last four years kept people employed, not starting businesses en masse, but I sense an uptick happening. If you're part of that and feel like starting a business, you have hard questions to ask yourself; and considerations to make regarding family, finances, work/life balance, personal health, and other things that will surround your business efforts. There is, in essence, much to think about and think through before you go ahead with your business, but there are two realities I'd like to share with you. I've started and run two businesses in my life: my current coaching, consulting, writing business (28 years ago next month) and one I ran for six years in the eighties. It was a conversation I had before I started my first business that I'd like to relate to you. First, the backdrop. A Mentor for the Ages I graduated from Fairleigh Dickinson University in 1968 with a BA in Psychology. Among my many campus involvements, I was a member of a fraternity, and our faculty advisor was an accounting professor named Stanley Iwanski, a prince of a man, one of the precious inspirations in my life and in the lives of many other lucky FDU students he touched. Now, most of my fraternity brothers were business and accounting majors, and Stan incessantly used to rib the few of us who weren't, reminding us almost daily that we were not ready for real life, let alone salvation! It was a running gag, heartily good-natured, and always with a wink and a pat on the back. Well, off I went in 1968, staying in touch with my brothers and, less often but regularly enough, with Stan. As the years marched on, my interactions with him spaced further apart, as is natural, but Stan never lost track of me, as I found out one day in early 1984. Having been through a couple of career changes already, I decided to start my own business and was busily planning it out when the phone rang one evening. A momentous call from Stan 'Eli, this is Stan Iwanski,' he announced. 'I just heard from Jeff [a fraternity brother] that you're starting a business. Is that right?' Thrilled to hear from him and excited to tell him about it, I answered, 'Yup. Just registered the name and I'm set to go.' As I started to describe my idea and my plans, Stan cut me off and said, just as directly as he always did, 'Sit down and listen to me. You need some advice.' He hadn't changed a bit. Nor did he think this non-business major had changed either, it seemed. Same old Stan. As long as I knew him, he'd never led anyone wrong, so I was all ears. And Stan's two pieces of advice – his two reality bites – are what I want to relay to you. From Stan to me to you 'So you're going to be your own boss, eh?' That being a big part of my motivation, I quickly answered. 'You bet,' I eagerly responded, thinking that would suffice. Not a chance. 'That's wonderful,' said the sage, 'Then you get to work half a day.' I knew I was getting set up for something, Stan being Stan, and here it came: 'And you get to pick which 12 hours it'll be.' Cute. But right on the nose. If anything, that's an understatement and there is absolutely no getting around it. So we kicked that around a little and then Stan put the next pearl on the table. 'You want to be independent, is that it?' Another check. 'Well, independence is a very expensive commodity,' he shot back, and there was nothing cute about the tone of his voice. And oh, was Stan ever right again! Think about funding your business, incurring the expenses with nowhere to forward an expense report, paying rent, hiring employees (which I did in the eighties but don't now), paying healthcare costs, investing in marketing and technology, having cash tied up in inventory and supplies, carrying receivables, absorbing bad debt, and so on. Stan – that loving, caring, avuncular prince – was Right! Right! Right! – and I confidently pass his advice on to you, not to dissuade you from starting your business, but to ask you to understand two realities of it. Because the last thing Stan said to me was, 'I didn't discourage you, did I? I just want you to be ready.' No, Stan, you didn't discourage me at all. And I don't think, 41 years later, you're discouraging anyone else. I'll pass your words along.
Yahoo
18-03-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
The long, complicated history between Bob Menendez and governor hopeful Steve Fulop
Jersey City Mayor Steve Fulop has had an on-again-off-again feud with former Sen. Bob Menendez for two decades. (Fulop photo by Reena Rose Sibayan/Menendez photo by Dana DiFilippo) Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Jersey City Mayor Steve Fulop has argued to voters that he is best suited to challenge New Jersey's political bosses, touting his criticism of disgraced former Sen. Bob Menendez as proof. One Fulop campaign flyer mailed to voters features Menendez wearing what looks like an orange prison jumpsuit and features pictures of gold bars. Menendez was convicted in July of accepting bribes of gold bars, cash, and more from three businessmen seeking favors. A television ad promoting Fulop's candidacy notes he was the only Democrat willing to challenge Menendez when Menendez was a member of the House of Representatives. 'Steve Fulop took on developers, Bob Menendez, and the political machine,' the narrator says in another Fulop television spot. But Fulop's relationship with Menendez, which dates back two decades, is far more complicated than Fulop lets on while on the campaign trail. The two Hudson County Democrats have had an on-again-off-again feud that — now that it's off again — Fulop hopes to leverage to cast himself as an outsider while seeking the state's highest office against five other Democrats (the gubernatorial primary is June 10). Asked to comment about Fulop's characterization of their relationship, Menendez in a statement from his attorneys described a cozier one than Fulop has described to voters. 'Steve Fulop sought my help when he was running for Mayor, wherein I got the late Congressman Donald Payne to endorse him. He actively courted my support when he ran for Governor the first time, asking me to vouch for him with party leaders and financial supporters, and to help him strategize as to how to get the Democratic nomination, which I did. I did this for him even though he ran against me for Congress. So much for the reformer,' Menendez said. Dan Cassino, a professor of government and politics at Fairleigh Dickinson University, said it makes sense for Fulop to attack Menendez, whom Cassino called 'the most salient symbol of corruption in New Jersey.' 'That said, even though there are candidates who aren't going to attack the institutional party, I don't think anyone is going to be on the campaign trail defending Menendez. That makes it more of a rhetorical tool than a grounds for serious policy disagreement,' Cassino said. Some of Fulop's first public comments about Menendez were sharply critical. In 2004, when then-Jersey City Mayor Glenn D. Cunningham was sparring with his fellow Hudson County Democrats, Cunningham recruited an unknown Fulop to challenge Menendez's bid for reelection to the House of Representatives in the Democratic primary. Fulop called Menendez 'more of a divider rather than a unifier' and accused the incumbent of 'harassing' his supporters to intimidate him into ending his primary challenge. Fulop lost badly, winning just 12% of the vote. By July 2013, Fulop had wrapped up two terms on Jersey City's council and had just won election as the city's mayor. Menendez, one of the speakers at Fulop's inauguration, highlighted that both men are children of immigrants. Two years later, as rumors swirled that Menendez was being investigated by federal prosecutors for taking bribes from a Florida doctor and friend, Fulop defended him, saying, 'Anybody who makes assumptions based on a leaked report obviously doesn't know Sen. Menendez,' according to a March 2015 Wall Street Journal report. Prosecutors indicted Menendez one month later. Fulop remained close to Menendez in the lead-up to Menendez's corruption trial. At the time, Fulop was toying with running for governor in 2017, and Menendez was one of the insiders advising Fulop on his campaign. But the relationship became strained after Fulop opted against running for governor and sought reelection as mayor instead. It was aggravated further when, during Menendez's two-and-a-half-month trial, news reports surfaced saying Fulop and other Democrats were quietly planting the seeds for Senate runs if Menendez were found guilty (at the time, Fulop denied doing this). Menendez was not found guilty. In November 2017, the judge overseeing the case declared a mistrial when the jury deadlocked. Speaking to reporters outside the courthouse, Menendez issued a now-infamous threat about the politicians who had counted him out. 'To those who were digging my political grave so they could jump into my seat, I know who you are and I won't forget you,' Menendez said. Though Fulop and others understood him to be the target of that threat, Fulop remained publicly in Menendez's corner. Hours after the mistrial was declared, Fulop said he would support Menendez's reelection bid in 2018, calling Menendez 'a great advocate for New Jersey.' Things simmered for a bit until 2020, when Menendez's son, Rob, flirted with a mayoral run in Jersey City. The senator and Fulop shared terse exchanges through public statements, with the elder Menendez telling voters that Fulop would abandon them 'once they no longer serve his own political ambition' and Fulop suggesting Menendez was 'hell bent on forcing his son down the throats of Jersey City voters to expand on his own political power.' The younger Menendez never ran for mayor of Jersey City, but he sought a House seat in 2022. Fulop supported him, touting party unity. Rob Menendez won that election handily. When Bob Menendez was indicted for the second time in 2023 — also on bribery charges — Fulop was among the Democrats who called on him to resign. He also declined to endorse Rob Menendez's successful 2024 bid for reelection, saying it was 'time to move on' from the Menendez family. Rob Menendez declined to comment for this story. Fulop campaign spokeswoman Emily Potoma disputed the notion that Fulop has not offered a nuanced description of his relationship with Bob Menendez while campaigning for governor. 'Mayor Fulop has frequently spoken about his up-and-down relationship with Menendez and has always sought to work with everyone as mayor. During Menendez's re-election, there was no alternative candidate, and the entire state, including Mayor Fulop, supported him,' Potoma said. When Menendez sought reelection in 2018, he was challenged in the Democratic primary by perennial candidate Lisa McCormick. She won nearly 40% of the vote against Menendez. SUPPORT: YOU MAKE OUR WORK POSSIBLE
