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Millennial Moms Love to Blast Boomers on TikTok (But Here's Why I Think They've Got it All Wrong)
Millennial Moms Love to Blast Boomers on TikTok (But Here's Why I Think They've Got it All Wrong)

Yahoo

time3 days ago

  • Entertainment
  • Yahoo

Millennial Moms Love to Blast Boomers on TikTok (But Here's Why I Think They've Got it All Wrong)

As a millennial, I know what it feels like to be blamed for, well, everything—from ruining the color pink to destroying the global economy. But now that a big chunk of our cohort is deep into parenthood, we're turning the tables (and turning on the front-facing camera), boomeranging the blame right back—via viral TikToks—to the generation that always had so many opinions about us: boomers. You thought millennials were the downfall of civilization? Think again. It's boomers, boomer. One of the most common threads in these TikTok takedowns centers on their parenting—and now, their grandparenting. Scroll through #takedownboomerstok (TM), and you'll find them painted as emotionally stunted, selfish and thoroughly untherapized. They're absentee parents turned absentee grandparents who refuse to help with childcare and bristle at any request that implies sacrifice. Having lived through our own generational takedown, I get the impulse. It's cathartic to place blame. But lest we forget, my millennial brethren, that wrath will come for us some day no matter how much gentle parenting you impart, how many 'big feelings' you validate, or how many micro plastics you avoid. Because here's the other truth: a lot of boomer parents weren't checked out—they were all in. And naysayers opined about that too—for 20 years, helicopter parents couldn't catch a break. They were equally ridiculed for micromanaging their kids' lives. As the child of heli-parents, I can confirm: we were raised to assume that if we weren't writing book reports or dancing through tech rehearsals, we were probably being kidnapped. Why wouldn't my mom take us to Blockbuster to record an 'If I Go Missing' tape? That was normal. Boomers? They hid under their desks during nuclear bomb drills. Their parents lived through the Great Depression and world wars. Generational fear doesn't go away; it changes shape. But that hindsight often skips a generation. Blaming boomers might feel like justice, but what is it really? We're tired, we're overwhelmed, and the system is broken. So we lash out at what's in front of us, instead of reckoning with what's around us. The endorphin hit is a lot stronger after posting a video than the slow burn of change—showing up week after week to school board meetings, researching childcare policy, or building the kind of community support our parents never had. If we take a page from millennial parenting icon Dr. Becky and her book Good Inside, we can assume that our boomer parents were (and still are) good inside. That doesn't excuse everything, but reducing a generation to one collective 'unhealed wound' isn't productive. As a millennial, I thought I knew what it felt like to be blamed for everything. But as parent? Now I really know what it feels like to try so hard and still get it wrong. Millennials Have Missed the Point of Gentle Parenting PureWow's editors and writers have spent more than a decade shopping online, digging through sales and putting our home goods, beauty finds, wellness picks and more through the wringer—all to help you determine which are actually worth your hard-earned cash. From our PureWow100 series (where we rank items on a 100-point scale) to our painstakingly curated lists of fashion, beauty, cooking, home and family picks, you can trust that our recommendations have been thoroughly vetted for function, aesthetics and innovation. Whether you're looking for travel-size hair dryers you can take on-the-go or women's walking shoes that won't hurt your feet, we've got you covered.

7 Habits of a 'Deeply Feeling' Child or Grandchild, According to Dr. Becky Kennedy
7 Habits of a 'Deeply Feeling' Child or Grandchild, According to Dr. Becky Kennedy

Yahoo

time16-05-2025

  • Health
  • Yahoo

7 Habits of a 'Deeply Feeling' Child or Grandchild, According to Dr. Becky Kennedy

Parenting—although rewarding and transformational—is not easy. Any child can be a handful any given day of the week and, unfortunately, there aren't always quick, easy fixes for every challenge that arises. Then, because every child is so different, it's impossible to use just one blanket approach to address every issue. "Deeply Feeling Kids" are in one category of children who react 'differently,' for example, and are very sensitive to outside factors.'A Deeply Feeling Kid (DFK) is a child who experiences emotions more intensely than others,' Dr. Becky Kennedytells Parade. Dr. Becky is a clinical psychologist with over 3.2 million followers on Instagram. She's a major reason why you might have heard more about DFKs in recent years—while she didn't coin the concept, she spreads awareness for these children through her social media platforms and Good Inside, an online parenting advice service, which she founded. If you've ever felt like you have a hard time communicating or connecting with your child—or understanding where their highly emotional or sensitive moments come from—and you feel like they might fall under the 'Deeply Feeling Kid' umbrella, read on. Dr. Becky gives us some great insight, including seven common or traits of Deeply Feeling Kids and how to best support them. Related: To start off, let's define exactly what a Deeply Feeling Kid is. As Dr. Becky starts to explain above, these are children who 'experience emotions more intensely than others.' 'These kids feel things deeply and often react strongly to situations,' she continues. 'Their emotional responses can be big, sometimes seeming overwhelming to those around them.' Dr. Becky shares that DFKs are very intuitive about their surroundings. That sensitivity might go hand-in-hand with how they express themselves and their emotions as well. 'They are also highly sensitive to their environments and pick up on things that others may overlook,' she explains. 'This sensitivity isn't a flaw—it's a unique way of experiencing the world.'And if you were wondering: Yes, certain children are more likely to be Deeply Feeling Kids than others.'Some children are naturally more emotionally porous and sensitive. They absorb feelings from the world around them and may react strongly to things that others see as small,' she reveals. 'These traits are innate—not the result of parenting style or environment alone—and often come with high levels of empathy and creativity.'Related: It's not diagnosable like ADHD or ASD, but there are still signs, habits or traits you can find in children if they are DFKs. The first habit Dr. Becky shares is exhibiting intense emotions. This is, of course, embedded in the definition of Deeply Feeling Kids. 'DFKs feel things deeply—joy, sadness, anger—and their emotional states can swing quickly and last longer than expected,' she explains. As she mentioned before, in addition to heightened emotions, DFKs are very perceptive and responsive to things around them. This understandably can lead to an overload of emotions, which they already feel strongly.'They are highly tuned in to their environments and other people's emotions, which can be overwhelming but also makes them incredibly empathetic,' Dr. Becky tells Lots of kids can be attached to their parents' hips, but for Deeply Feeling Kids, it's a bit different. 'DFKs often worry that their big emotions are 'too much' and might push people away, leading them to cling tightly or shut down,' the clinical psychologist explains. If you're an adult who fears rejection because you might be too loud or aggressive (especially unknowingly), imagine how a child feels with this fear. On that note, Dr. Becky explains that these children are in desperate need for connection.'These kids thrive when they feel emotionally safe and connected,' she explains. 'They often seek frequent reassurance and closeness with caregivers.' Even for teens or adults, change can be difficult. And for DFKs, switching things up can be upending. 'Transitions or unexpected changes can feel destabilizing, leading to meltdowns or anxiety as they try to regain a sense of control,' Dr. Becky shares. For children who experience large emotions, you can imagine that their responses can also be pretty big. 'Their responses may seem out of proportion—loud outbursts, physical expressions of emotion—because they're processing intense internal feelings,' she explains. Because of how they experience life differently from other kids, Deeply Feeling Kids are very aware of themselves and how they might be perceived by others. This can lead to some profound thoughts and feelings. 'DFKs may be unusually self-aware for their age, but this can lead to shame or self-doubt if they internalize that they are 'too much,'' Dr. Becky says. Related: In addition to those habits, parents and grandparents can spot if their child or grandchild is a Deeply Feeling Kid if they: Have 'big emotional reactions, sometimes flipping from calm to overwhelmed in moments,' Dr. Becky shares. 'Struggle with emotional regulation, often finding it hard to calm down once upset.' 'Avoid talking about emotions, possibly because they fear being 'too much.'' 'Feel left out or misunderstood, and may worry that their emotions will push others away.' 'These patterns can point to a child who is deeply feeling and needs unique support,' she explains. When Parade asks Dr. Becky how she 'cracked the code' on how to talk to and 'handle' DFKs, she tells us that 'connection over correction' is the key. 'One helpful strategy is to remove the pressure from conversations by using non-verbal tools—like a 'thumbs up/thumbs down/sideways' game to check in on how they're feeling,' she suggests. When it's time for 'deeper talks,' as Dr. Becky says, it's also important not to stress them out and put too much pressure on them. 'Keeping things open-ended and low-pressure helps them feel safe,' she explains. 'Saying things like, 'I wonder how you're feeling today. It's okay if you're not ready to talk right now—I'm here when you are,' gives them space while maintaining emotional availability.' Figuring out how to best parent a child who thinks or acts a little differently can feel impossible at times, but Dr. Becky says the most significant thing you should know when it comes to parenting DFKs is that there's nothing wrong with them.'The most important thing is that your child isn't broken—they're wired differently,' she stresses. 'They need connection—not correction—and benefit most from parents who can stay calm and regulate themselves. When a child feels truly seen and accepted, it creates the safety they need to work through big feelings.'The best ways to support a child who is deeply feeling includes the following, according to Dr. Becky: 'Validate their emotions instead of trying to fix or minimize them. Give them tools to communicate how they feel—both verbally and nonverbally. Offer consistent connection, especially during and after tough moments. Normalize their experiences by helping them understand that feeling deeply isn't wrong—it's just part of who they are.' At some point, parenting can feel tough to conquer or handle, but Dr. Becky stresses that 'you're not alone.''Many parents are raising deeply feeling kids, and while it's challenging, it's also a gift,' she says. 'DFKs can grow into incredibly compassionate, self-aware and emotionally intelligent adults—especially when they're raised in an environment of understanding and emotional safety.'Up Next:Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, an online parenting advice service. She also has over 3.2 million followers on Instagram.

Are you 'too soft' on your child? Ivy League-trained psychologist says compassion builds resilience, not 'snowflakes'
Are you 'too soft' on your child? Ivy League-trained psychologist says compassion builds resilience, not 'snowflakes'

Economic Times

time10-05-2025

  • Health
  • Economic Times

Are you 'too soft' on your child? Ivy League-trained psychologist says compassion builds resilience, not 'snowflakes'

The Surprising Truth About 'Soft' Parenting You Might Also Like: Silent damage: How parental screen time is rewiring young minds and fueling mental chaos? Study reveals Compassion is Not Coddling—It's Coaching Why Self-Compassion Is the Real Superpower Softness Today, Strength Tomorrow You're in the middle of the grocery store, and your child is on the floor wailing because you didn't buy the frosted cereal. Eyes turn. Embarrassment creeps in. Your instinct might be to discipline—or even scold. But what if the real answer is not toughness, but tenderness?A new wave of parenting wisdom suggests that showing compassion—even in the middle of a meltdown—isn't spoiling your child. It might just be building the foundation for a resilient, emotionally strong adult. Dr. Becky Kennedy , an Ivy League-trained clinical psychologist and bestselling author, wants parents to know they don't have to fear being 'too soft.' In a recent episode of her popular podcast Good Inside, she addressed a common misconception: that compassion in parenting leads to emotional fragility.'It's almost like we view compassion as dangerous,' said Kennedy, who holds a PhD from Columbia University. 'We think it's going to lead to kids being soft, being snowflakes.'But Kennedy challenges that assumption with both research and personal experience. As a mother of three, she admits she once believed that calm parenting in the face of tantrums might reinforce bad behavior. Over time, she discovered the opposite.'When I add my criticism, my invalidation, the feeling just gets bigger. It's so counterproductive,' she of reacting with frustration, Kennedy suggests that parents acknowledge their child's emotions—even the explosive ones. Simple affirming phrases like, 'It makes sense you're upset,' or 'I know you'll get through this,' can do goal is not to excuse the behavior, but to validate the emotion behind it. Psychotherapist Amy Morin supports this approach, writing that parents can say, 'It's OK to feel upset, but not OK to act this way,' reinforcing emotional awareness while gently guiding method helps children learn that feelings like anger, sadness, or disappointment are normal—but expressing them destructively is not. Over time, it cultivates emotional intelligence and equips kids with the tools to handle life's inevitable emphasizes that a child's inner voice often echoes what they've heard from their parents. If criticism and dismissal dominate the early years, children may grow up internalizing those voices as adults—resulting in self-doubt, shame, or paralysis in the face of failure.'A parent's voice becomes a child's self-talk,' she explains. 'If that voice is critical, it'll be that much harder for a child to find their feet, confidence, or resilience later.'The antidote? Teaching self-compassion. According to psychologist Kristin Neff's research, this quality is crucial not only for emotional health, but also for personal growth. People who respond to failure with compassion are more likely to try again, take responsibility, and avoid spiraling into negativity.'Compassion after failure makes people more likely to persevere and try again,' Kennedy says. 'It helps people take responsibility for mistakes without spiraling into shame. That's huge.'In a culture that often glorifies grit and discipline, Kennedy's approach feels like a breath of fresh air. She isn't advocating permissiveness—but rather mindful parenting that sees emotional outbursts not as misbehavior, but as opportunities to teach empathy, resilience, and the next time your child screams over the wrong color of sippy cup, take a breath. Offer compassion, not correction. You're not raising a snowflake—you're helping sculpt a human being who knows how to weather the storm.

Are you 'too soft' on your child? Ivy League-trained psychologist says compassion builds resilience, not 'snowflakes'
Are you 'too soft' on your child? Ivy League-trained psychologist says compassion builds resilience, not 'snowflakes'

Time of India

time10-05-2025

  • General
  • Time of India

Are you 'too soft' on your child? Ivy League-trained psychologist says compassion builds resilience, not 'snowflakes'

You're in the middle of the grocery store, and your child is on the floor wailing because you didn't buy the frosted cereal. Eyes turn. Embarrassment creeps in. Your instinct might be to discipline—or even scold. But what if the real answer is not toughness, but tenderness? #Operation Sindoor India-Pakistan Clash Live Updates| Pak moving troops to border areas? All that's happening Why India chose to abstain instead of 'No Vote' against IMF billion-dollar funding to Pakistan How Pak's jihadi general Munir became trapped in his own vice A new wave of parenting wisdom suggests that showing compassion—even in the middle of a meltdown—isn't spoiling your child. It might just be building the foundation for a resilient, emotionally strong adult. The Surprising Truth About 'Soft' Parenting Dr. Becky Kennedy , an Ivy League-trained clinical psychologist and bestselling author, wants parents to know they don't have to fear being 'too soft.' In a recent episode of her popular podcast Good Inside , she addressed a common misconception: that compassion in parenting leads to emotional fragility. Play Video Play Skip Backward Skip Forward Mute Current Time 0:00 / Duration 0:00 Loaded : 0% 0:00 Stream Type LIVE Seek to live, currently behind live LIVE Remaining Time - 0:00 1x Playback Rate Chapters Chapters Descriptions descriptions off , selected Captions captions settings , opens captions settings dialog captions off , selected Audio Track Picture-in-Picture Fullscreen This is a modal window. Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window. Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Opacity Opaque Semi-Transparent Text Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Opacity Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Caption Area Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Opacity Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Drop shadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps Reset restore all settings to the default values Done Close Modal Dialog End of dialog window. 'It's almost like we view compassion as dangerous,' said Kennedy, who holds a PhD from Columbia University. 'We think it's going to lead to kids being soft, being snowflakes.' But Kennedy challenges that assumption with both research and personal experience. As a mother of three, she admits she once believed that calm parenting in the face of tantrums might reinforce bad behavior. Over time, she discovered the opposite. You Might Also Like: Silent damage: How parental screen time is rewiring young minds and fueling mental chaos? Study reveals 'When I add my criticism, my invalidation, the feeling just gets bigger. It's so counterproductive,' she said. Compassion is Not Coddling—It's Coaching Instead of reacting with frustration, Kennedy suggests that parents acknowledge their child's emotions—even the explosive ones. Simple affirming phrases like, 'It makes sense you're upset,' or 'I know you'll get through this,' can do wonders. The goal is not to excuse the behavior, but to validate the emotion behind it. Psychotherapist Amy Morin supports this approach, writing that parents can say, 'It's OK to feel upset, but not OK to act this way,' reinforcing emotional awareness while gently guiding behavior. This method helps children learn that feelings like anger, sadness, or disappointment are normal—but expressing them destructively is not. Over time, it cultivates emotional intelligence and equips kids with the tools to handle life's inevitable lows. You Might Also Like: Vanished on wedding night, techie bride's ₹22 lakh jewellery mysteriously reappears outside husband's home Why Self-Compassion Is the Real Superpower Kennedy emphasizes that a child's inner voice often echoes what they've heard from their parents. If criticism and dismissal dominate the early years, children may grow up internalizing those voices as adults—resulting in self-doubt, shame, or paralysis in the face of failure. 'A parent's voice becomes a child's self-talk,' she explains. 'If that voice is critical, it'll be that much harder for a child to find their feet, confidence, or resilience later.' The antidote? Teaching self-compassion. According to psychologist Kristin Neff's research, this quality is crucial not only for emotional health, but also for personal growth. People who respond to failure with compassion are more likely to try again, take responsibility, and avoid spiraling into negativity. 'Compassion after failure makes people more likely to persevere and try again,' Kennedy says. 'It helps people take responsibility for mistakes without spiraling into shame. That's huge.' You Might Also Like: 'Parents, stop pampering your kids': Rs 5,000 crore Thyrocare founder shares real story about a rich kid he gave home tuitions Softness Today, Strength Tomorrow In a culture that often glorifies grit and discipline, Kennedy's approach feels like a breath of fresh air. She isn't advocating permissiveness—but rather mindful parenting that sees emotional outbursts not as misbehavior, but as opportunities to teach empathy, resilience, and self-regulation. So the next time your child screams over the wrong color of sippy cup, take a breath. Offer compassion, not correction. You're not raising a snowflake—you're helping sculpt a human being who knows how to weather the storm.

Don't worry about being too soft on your kids, Ivy League-trained psychologist says: Compassion won't make them 'snowflakes'
Don't worry about being too soft on your kids, Ivy League-trained psychologist says: Compassion won't make them 'snowflakes'

CNBC

time07-05-2025

  • General
  • CNBC

Don't worry about being too soft on your kids, Ivy League-trained psychologist says: Compassion won't make them 'snowflakes'

When a child throws a full-blown tantrum over a minor setback, you might be tempted to respond with tough love. But the key to raising kids who grow up to be mentally strong, resilient adults is to treat them with compassion, rather than chastising them for over-reacting, according to child psychologist Becky Kennedy. "It's almost like we view compassion as dangerous," Kennedy, who has a PhD in clinical psychology from Columbia University, said on an April 22 episode of her parenting podcast "Good Inside." "When [kids] are having a big reaction to something we deem to be a small, childish thing, we think that compassion is going to lead to kids being soft, being snowflakes." Kennedy "thought these things myself" about her own three children when they were toddlers, she said. But when a young child's disappointment leads to a tantrum, a parent's criticism can actually make the overreaction worse, she said: "If I add my criticism, my invalidation, the feeling just gets bigger. It's so counterproductive." Instead, Kennedy recommended acknowledging your child's disappointment with calm, supportive statements like, "'It makes sense. You're upset ... That is real. And I know you're going to get through it.'" Validating language can help kids feel understood, especially when they're struggling or upset. You can even use it to discourage future emotional meltdowns: "Parents can use phrases like: "'It's OK to feel upset, but not OK to act this way,'" psychotherapist Amy Morin wrote for CNBC Make It in December. "It shows them that feelings like anger or sadness are normal, but it's not OK to disrupt or hurt others," Morin added, noting that parents can teach kids alternative ways of coping with big feelings, like taking deep breaths or naming their emotions. "Controlling how emotions are expressed is a key skill they'll need for life's inevitable ups and downs." Mentally resilient adults tend to have self-compassion. Parents can help establish that skill from an early age, said Kennedy. "A parent's voice becomes a child's self-talk," Kennedy said. If parents invalidate or criticize their child's distress, that kid is more likely to react to a setback as an adult with self-criticism, rather than reflecting on what went wrong and trying to figure out the best way forward. "[That] is only going to make it more difficult for them to find their feet, find their confidence, find their self-trust, find their resilience, and actually move on and figure out what they want to do next," said Kennedy. Teaching your children how to show themselves compassion can help ensure that, as they age, they'll be better equipped to handle setbacks without spiraling into negativity. "Compassion is a huge part of self-regulation," said Kennedy, adding: "When we berate ourselves, ironically, that makes us so much softer, because we're not able to deal with the feeling [and] it lasts longer and gets even bigger." Self-compassion makes both children and adults more motivated to learn new things, and to change their behavior to avoid repeating past mistakes, according to research from psychologist and University of Texas at Austin associate professor Kristin Neff. "Compassion after failure makes people more likely to persevere and try again as compared to those who self-criticize," Kennedy said, referencing Neff's research. "Also, self-compassion helps people take responsibility for mistakes without spiraling into shame. That's huge." Want a new career that's higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC's new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work . Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025. Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.

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