Latest news with #Hera
The Spinoff
6 days ago
- General
- The Spinoff
Help Me Hera: My friends don't seem to remember my birthday
Should I confront them about it, or is it time to make new friends? Want Hera's help? Email your problem to helpme@ Kia ora Hera, It's my birthday tomorrow and none of my friends have reached out to make birthday plans with me. I planned a lovely weekend spending Saturday with friends and Sunday with my cousin but none of them twigged that it was the weekend before my birthday. I have a lot of people I know, and some people who I consider my best friends, but I don't think any would call me their best friend. A couple of years ago my oldest friend forgot to put my 40th birthday party in her calendar and made other plans. I didn't get invited to whatever she did to celebrate hers the following month. I just found out I didn't make the cut for another friend's 40th birthday dinner. I've had a pretty rough couple of years and I feel lonely; it's painful to find out that I don't have the kind of people who rally around at the best times, let alone in a crisis. I'm open to any advice at all, but I'm particularly interested to know if you think it would be helpful to try and talk to my friends about how sidelined I feel, or if I should just move on and develop new friendships. Nga mihi mahana, Dear Lonely First and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I think this is a difficult question to answer, because there's no universal set of expectations for what a close friendship should look like. One person's Scooby Doo ghostbusting fantasy is another person's codependent vision of Hell. It's much harder to make a moral judgement about whether someone is behaving negligently in a friendship than in a romantic relationship, because romantic relationships (for better or worse) come with a lot of cultural scaffolding and etiquette. Friendships, on the other hand, are the wild west. I'm sorry your friends didn't remember your birthday. What I don't understand is why you didn't tell them? You say 'nobody twigged' but there's no reason to be coy about something that's obviously so important to you. In a perfect world, you wouldn't need to drop hints. Your friends would know you well enough to proactively hire the bouncy castle and champagne fountain. But this is only setting you up for bitter disappointment when they inevitably forget. The truth is, people will forget your birthday, and it isn't because they don't love you. It's because many people just don't care about birthdays. I understand why you're hurt. You're probably great at remembering other people's birthdays and buying thoughtful gifts, and don't understand why other people can't reciprocate. But you can't use your birthday as a referendum on how much other people love you, because not only is the data worthless, it's an easy way to have a miserable day for no reason. I'll be real with you. Unlike the wise and wonderful Madeleine Holden, I am a birthday minimalist. I would no sooner throw a birthday party than I'd voluntarily get my gums scraped at the dentist. I don't care if the people I love remember my birthday and am equally bad at returning the favour. When it comes to birthdays, I'm mostly in it for the cake. I don't think it's stupid or childish to want a lovely birthday surrounded by friends and family. But I do think you need to set the people you love up for success. First and foremost, that means reminding people it's happening. Don't drop hints. Grab a megaphone. Borrow their phone and set a recurring calendar reminder. Plan a party. Make attention-seeking posts on the morning of, soliciting love and attention. Bake your own damn cake. You have to set the tone if you want people to live up to your expectations. I know a few birthday divas, and without exception, they are relentless in their pursuit of birthday satisfaction. They always get what they want because their demands are explicit and their energy is contagious. This might not seem fair. But I do think it's the most practical solution to your problem. The goal here isn't to train people to remember. The goal is to do whatever it takes to have a wonderful day. That's going to require a little shameless hustling. Obviously your question isn't just about your birthday. Your birthday is symbolic of a bigger loneliness. That's much harder to address. I'm sorry your friends haven't been there for you during a difficult time. It's deeply painful to feel your relationships mean more to you than they do to others, and I hope that one day you find that reciprocity you're looking for. You ask whether you should confront your friends or just make new ones. I don't think these options are mutually exclusive. There's nothing wrong with making new friends, especially if you're feeling lonely. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to jettison the old ones. It does sound like, in general, you have a lot of people in your life who love and care for you. Setting aside the topic of birthdays, what does a close friendship look like to you? Talking every day? Every week? Every month? Is it the amount of time you spend together or the depth of the conversation? Are you mourning something you used to have or longing for something you've never experienced? I'm not saying your loneliness is your problem to solve. But I do think people have wildly different interpretations of what it means to be close. If you're constantly feeling like your friendships are lopsided – you're always the one initiating contact, or you've drifted apart and want to find a way to close that distance – I think it's worth trying to have a deeper conversation with these friends before writing them off. I wouldn't frame it as feeling 'sidelined', I'd lead with 'feeling really lonely' and see whether your friends are able to step up their game. In general I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing disappointment if your friends have disappointed you, but I feel like you've skipped an important step here, which is asking for their help. If you're the kind of person who is used to caring for others without needing to be asked, the idea of asking for help probably fills you with horror and disgust. You seem like the sort of person who is good at intuiting other people's needs and simply want a little reciprocity. But clearly this hasn't been working out for you. It might be time to try a new strategy. I want to make it clear that I don't think you're in the wrong here. If you've been having a rough few years, your friends should have rallied around without prompting. But before you chew them out for their failure, or slowly ghost them, try being vulnerable and asking for a little extra attention and care. This might not work the way you hope. They might just be shit friends. On the other hand, they might surprise you. But give them a decent chance to disappoint you, before chastising them for letting you down. Either way, don't turn your birthday into a referendum on how loved you are. I'm sure your friends care about you and want you to have a special day. So get on the horn and remind them.
Yahoo
15-07-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
Heritage beauty brand acquired by Peterborough firm
A heritage British beauty brand has been acquired by a growing personal care manufacturer. Fikkerts Limited, known for its bath, body, and home fragrance products, has joined Hera Beauty, a leading manufacturer based in Peterborough. Established in 1903, Fikkerts is best known for its Fruits of Nature, Kitchen Garden, and Fikkerts for Life collections, which draw inspiration from traditional herbal remedies. Andrew Kennedy, managing director of Hera Beauty, said: "Fikkerts is an exciting new member of the Hera family. Fikkerts x Hera (Image: Fikkerts x Hera) "The acquisition consolidates our leadership in the cosmetics and personal care markets and adds significant new toiletry and home fragrance products to our already wide market offer. "This is not just a coming together of two businesses with synergies in terms of their products, but also of innovative companies with a passion for the very highest levels of manufacturing, and a desire to use only high-quality, natural, and sustainable ingredients." The acquisition strengthens Hera Beauty's presence in the natural personal care sector and expands its portfolio, which already includes IRIS Private Label and Corinne Taylor. READ MORE: Peterborough apprentice named best in the country Fourth-generation managing directors Richard and Julia Fikkert will remain with the business. Mr Fikkert said: "This is an exciting time for Fikkerts. "Becoming part of the Hera Beauty family provides a unique opportunity to realise our full potential. "Our offering will grow, and opportunities to better service our dedicated customers will emerge instantly for both businesses. Fruits of Nature - Fikkerts (Image: Fikkerts) "We are extremely proud that for over 120 years we have built lasting relationships with our customers." Fikkerts will retain its identity and continue offering its tailored manufacturing services under the new ownership. The partnership is expected to support expanded product development, continued focus on bespoke formulations for private label clients, and improved support for stockists and customers. In 2025, Hera Beauty doubled its storage capacity with expanded facilities in Bretton, Peterborough. Keep up to date with the latest news across Peterborough by signing up to our newsletter email alerts here Have you got a story you want to share with us? Get in touch at: newsdesk@
The Spinoff
09-07-2025
- Politics
- The Spinoff
Help Me Hera: I'm jealous of my rich friend
I can't even afford to go out for dinner, while she's going on a European holiday. Dear Hera, I have this friend from high school who recently returned home after finishing uni. She has never worked, and she recently got accepted into an incredibly prestigious postgraduate program overseas, not on a scholarship, so I can only assume that her parents are paying for it, as they are for her European holiday she is going on beforehand, which includes seeing one of our favourite artists. Since moving back home, she will ask me if I'm free during the week and I'll have to tell her I'm working. Or she'll want to go out for dinner, and I'll have to tell her I can't afford it. I grew up middle-class. I have friends who grew up with less than me, and I have friends who grew up with more than me, but none to the same extent as this friend who is going overseas for postgrad. During high school, it didn't bother me too much that we had different financial backgrounds. Now, when most of my other friends in their early 20s are scraping by, I'm finding it so hard to listen to her talk about this music festival. How can I keep our friendship going when it feels like we're living in different worlds? Sincerely, Little Miss Bitter The traditional solution to having despicably wealthy friends is simply to crash their expensive Italian vacation, learn to forge their signature, take them out on a rental boat and quietly murder them. Either that, or get them to invest in one of your pyramid schemes. But it's a lot harder to fake your death and steal someone's identity these days. Short of overthrowing global capitalism, I'm afraid you're just going to have to find a way to deal with the unfairness of the situation. The situation is unfair. No arguments there. Global inequality is worsening, the cost of living is getting higher, and our governments are doing their best to facilitate wealth hoarding at the expense of literally everyone else on the planet. I don't blame anyone for having a few idle guillotine-based fantasies. The situation is so unfair, it's beyond the scope of an advice column. I'm not going to tell you that if you work hard and apply yourself, you might someday be on the Forbes 30 Under 30. It's probably equally unhelpful to remind you that you're a lot better off than a vast number of people, many of whom would consider your lifestyle scandalously decadent and hedonistic. Even saying the average modern middle-class person has a life of comfort and stability that would rival the living conditions of some of the great kings of antiquity isn't much consolation when you're trying to decide between an emergency trip to the dentist or paying your rent. Life is unfair, and I don't blame you for saying so. However, let's say you love your friend and want to see her happy. Let's say you're simply looking for advice on how best to swallow your envy, like a dog being force-fed charcoal tablets at the vet. How do you feel happy for someone who seemingly has everything you want, and doesn't even seem to appreciate it? The first thing you can do is be honest. I'm not suggesting you have a tearful conversation about the cosmic injustice of her European holiday. But if she's in town and wants to catch up, and you can't afford to go out for dinner, don't grit your teeth or make excuses. Just tell her you can't afford it! Say you're living on the memory of yesterday's beans, and there's no way you can afford to split the check at a two-wine dinner. I think you would be surprised at how receptive most people are to hearing 'sorry babe I'm flat broke.' If money is a sensitive issue for you, it can feel shameful to admit this, but the better you get at laying out the realities of your financial situation without apology or embarrassment, the easier it will get. You have nothing to feel ashamed about! You may not be able to afford the roasted cauliflower head for two, but the truth is free. I think the more honest you're able to get with her, the less resentment you'll feel about having to make weird excuses for no reason. Your friend, on the other hand, might feel embarrassed about her relative wealth. But that's her own problem! If she's a good friend, she'll either offer to shout you dinner, or be willing to find a cheaper way to enjoy your company. It may be cold comfort, but I also have to remind you that even rich people don't all have enviable lives. I'm not saying money can't buy happiness, or at least solve nine out of your 10 most pressing problems. But even Elon Musk's extensive personal fortune would never be enough money to convince me to swap lives with Elon Musk. Butter might be $10 a block, but not being Elon Musk is free! That's a luxury even the richest man in the world (Elon Musk) can't afford. Many rich people live miserable lives of private desperation, just with better quality linens and healthcare. That might not be a comforting thought when you're behind on your electricity bills and scrolling through your rich friend's vacation photos. But I'm willing to bet there are things about your life your friend is envious of. There are so many different ways in which life can be unfair. Health. Geography. Personal tragedy. Looks. Family. Talent. Fertility. The ability to whistle. Having people who love and care for you. We tend to take the good for granted, but many of these qualities are arguably much luckier than being born into generational wealth. I'm sure your friend has her own private insecurities and griefs, which you don't know the full extent of. Money truly isn't everything. Just something to think about while threading camels through needles.
Irish Examiner
08-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Irish Examiner
Tots to Teens: Go Wild in Waterford's Comeraghs this week
The Comeraghs Wild Festival returns to Waterford this weekend with four days of traditional music, dance, storytelling, and fun for all the family. From Thursday, July 10 to Sunday, July 13, its lineup of events will celebrate Irish culture. These include outdoor set dancing and a Rambling House, where all are welcome to gather around and sing a song, play a tune, or tell a tale. On Friday and Saturday, Crough Woods will be the setting for a nature-based summer camp, where children will participate in treasure hunts, mindfulness sessions, and arts and crafts activities. Another option is to sign them up for surfing lessons or for the whole family to ride on the Waterford Suir Valley Railway, where little ones will meet Honey and Barry Bear, have their faces painted, and be tasked with solving a series of clues to find hidden treasure. Visit for more information and to book tickets. How to screen playtime It can be a struggle to keep children off screens, particularly when they are on holidays and complaining of having nothing to do. If you're finding yourself on the losing side of this battle, check out the @brambila_bits Instagram account. Run by Andrea Brambila, an American therapist who specialises in perinatal mental health and developmental psychology, it's full of tips on how to reduce overwhelm and overstimulation by encouraging children away from screens and towards more independent play. She also has lots of relatable advice on how to deal with postpartum anxiety and the importance of setting aside time for parental self-care. Snug as a bug Babaroo's cotton snuggle set Could anything be cuter than this cotton snuggle set from It's designed to provide babies with swaddling comfort, while also allowing them enough room to move without restriction. It's soft, stretchy, lightweight, and breathable. It comes with a matching topknot headband. Babaroo Baby is a family business based in East Cork that sells sustainably sourced and ethically manufactured baby and toddler products. This snuggle set is designed to fit newborns and young babies weighing between 2.5kg and 6kg. It costs €35 and can be purchased directly from Cot grows into a bed The Hera cot bed The Hera Convertible Cot Bed is a one-time purchase that will serve as a safe and comfortable bed for your child for years to come. It starts as a cot. Then, as your child grows, the cot's adjustable mattress height and removable, slatted sides mean it will grow with them, transforming into a toddler bed and into a proper first bed. It's made by Gaia Baby, an award-winning, guaranteed Irish brand that creates crafted nursery furniture designed with longevity, safety, and sustainability in mind. It costs €649, and its gender-neutral look makes it a perfect fit for modern nurseries. Summer reading Bring the children along to the local library the next time they moan about being bored. There, they can enrol in Summer Stars, the national summer reading programme that runs from now until the end of August. This programme aims to encourage children to enjoy reading and writing over the summer holidays. To participate, all they have to do is register at their local library. There, they will be given a Summer Stars reader pack, which includes bookmarks, an activity book, and a reading tracker. The next step is to choose reading material from the library's extensive range of books, which includes audiobooks and e-books. Each time they borrow a book, they will get a stamp in their reading tracker and be invited to review the books they read online. At the end of the summer, they will also receive a certificate of completion. Visit for further information on activities, recommended reads, and Summer Stars reading tips. Read More Tots to Teens: Bath toys are sure to make a big splash
The Spinoff
02-07-2025
- General
- The Spinoff
Help Me Hera: I think I need to break up with my best friend
A long time ago we almost hooked up. Why am I still so hurt? Want Hera's help? Email your problem to helpme@ Dear Hera, I think I need to break up with my best friend. It's a long story. Some time ago we almost got together. I made myself decline her advances since we were colleagues and I was fresh out of a longterm relationship. A few weeks later we had become even more situationship than friendship, and I decided fuck it, this is worth the risk. I told her I felt the same, only to get turned down. It was awful and we stopped speaking for months. But time heals! We slowly started spending time together again and now we're closer than ever. She's my best friend. It helped that we both moved on and started seeing other people. We could go back to being mates without any pesky romantic feelings ever getting in the way. Recently, she brought up the aforementioned mess, and it was a really good chat. We laughed a lot. But one thing came up that hurt. It turns out that the death blow for our 'will-they-won't-they' had been that she'd slept with someone else – a friend – and didn't want to have to tell me. I had suspected this at the time, and it's well in the past, so I brushed it off. I was mostly just happy to finally clear the air on that particularly messy chapter. Turns out, knowing and suspecting are different things and now I don't know what to do. She is one of my favourite people in the world. People do stupid things. She admitted she fucked up. And this is all a long time ago. We're both happily seeing other people now. On the other hand though, I don't think I'd have entertained becoming mates again if I'd known for certain. And now I know that I should not have given her the benefit of the doubt. But I did, and she is now my best friend in the world. Losing her would turn my life upside down. Is it worth doing that over some ancient hurt feelings? Dear Heartbroken, I have read this letter backwards and forwards. I have soaked it in lemon juice and held it up to candlelight. I have run it through all known cryptogram cyphers. But I'm struggling to see the justice of your complaint. There are a lot of mixed messages in your letter. You say you love this friend, and she's your favourite person in the world. That losing her would turn your life upside down. You insist that you're just good friends, and have both moved on romantically. You've laughed about this situation together and become even closer. And then you go and sign the letter 'heartbroken.' What confuses me most is your anger. Maybe I have Tux Tasty Bites Dry Beef Dog Food for brains, but I have scrutinised this letter from every angle and I honestly can't see what she did wrong. You say she 'fucked up' and 'people do stupid things' and you should never have given her the benefit of the doubt. But what did she do that was so fucked up and stupid? Was it sleeping with someone else, after she'd already propositioned you and been rejected? Was it not telling you that she'd slept with someone else after you'd already changed your mind? I don't blame you for feeling sad about the situation. I don't even think you did the wrong thing. Jumping straight out of a long-term relationship into a new romantic fling with a close friend and coworker is a high-risk situation, and I can completely understand your initial trepidation. The fact that your feelings eventually won out, only to discover you were too late, is obviously painful. Missed opportunities hurt more than outright rejections. What isn't fair is blaming her for this mess. It's not pleasant to discover someone you have a crush on has slept with a friend. But even if there was still some simmering romantic tension between you, or you'd started sleeping together casually, it's not fair to expect her to keep a respectful period of monogamous celibacy on the off chance you'd change your mind. You're processing this like a romantic infidelity, but you can't cheat on someone you're not in a relationship with, especially if you've already made it clear to the other person that a relationship isn't on the cards. While the situation is undeniably messy, even if your friend regrets her choices, it doesn't mean she 'fucked up.' Perhaps your hurt has to do with the conviction that if she hadn't slept with that friend, things would have turned out differently between you. It's fine to be mildly tormented by regret. But you share some responsibility for the way things unfolded between you. Maybe you'd say that your hurt isn't to do with the fact that she'd slept with someone else, it's that she didn't tell you. But then you go on to say that if she had told you, you'd never have entertained becoming friends again. This makes no sense. If you want to opt out of a relationship because the rejection is too painful, that's one thing. But you can't have your cake and fuck it too. Did she have an obligation to tell you? Considering you were already hurt enough to stop talking for months, I can't see how her offering up this information would have been relevant or productive at the time. You can't expect full transparency from someone you're not on speaking terms with. I think the reason you're having a hard time reconciling this perceived 'betrayal' with your current platonic friendship is because you still have residual feelings for her. You say that these days, you're strictly platonic. But this whole letter is bogged down with retrospective anguish. I think part of you must still be holding a candle for this girl, or the situation wouldn't hurt so bad. Perhaps there's some specific emotional nuance I've missed in your letter which is fuelling your sense of retrospective injustice. But from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're struggling to forgive someone who doesn't need your forgiveness. I'd encourage you to do a little soul searching and be honest with yourself about why you're so hurt. If you can't move past this, perhaps your feelings aren't as platonic as you think, and you're not ready to be friends. There's no shame in that. But don't act like the wounded party. Sometimes there's nobody to blame.
