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Yahoo
3 hours ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
This Is How You 'Win' A Breakup, According To Relationship Experts
Breakups hit everyone differently. Some people do best diving into other aspects of their lives (like their career), while others want to do everything in their power to make their ex regret their mistake. While it's so tempting to opt for the latter, consider an alternative approach, one that focuses more on personal growth and less on seeking revenge. 'Breakups are an emotional thing,' dating expert Emma Hathorn of told HuffPost. 'They pick at our insecurities, make us worry that we were the problem, cause us to overthink, to comb through the arguments and the days that led up to that concrete ending.' We all want to bounce back stronger. But instead of going after a revenge body or finding a rebound to hook up with (no judgment, been there) or any of the other breakup clichés, consider taking this opportunity to reclaim yourself. After all, you are your best company. Here, relationship experts share a new take on what it means to really 'win a breakup.' You make your home entirely yours. Nothing says independence like being able to live on your own. 'It offers an opportunity for a fresh start,' Mindy DeSeta, Ph.D., relationship and sex expert for the Hily dating app, told HuffPost. 'Having your own space provides a sense of freedom, the ability to establish your own routine and the power to make decisions without needing anyone's approval.' Meaning, you can decorate your space any way you want it without someone ruining your aesthetic with sports memorabilia. Or you can display your memorabilia and treasures without judgment. Plus, 'there's always opportunities to create new connections,' DeSeta adds. You can make your space a place to host dinner parties, book clubs and other events. This can remind you that you have a solid group of people who have your back or open the opportunity for new friends and more community-building. You don't feel the urge to check their social media. It's so tempting to keep online tabs on your ex, but stalking their every move, whether through their social media or friends, is only going to prolong the healing process. 'Letting go of the constant monitoring means you've detached from the need for comparison or validation,' Hathorn said. 'You've stopped measuring your healing against their performance of happiness or whoever they're currently hanging out with.' So hit that mute button (or, better yet, hit unfollow) for the sake of your peace of mind. You focus on your work and career. A lot of people dive deep into their career post-breakup, and for good reason. 'Growing a business or earning a job promotion is a major breakup win,' DeSeta said. 'Not only will you be bringing in more income, but focusing on your career success also redirects your attention away from heartbreak while providing a genuine sense of accomplishment and validation.' The best part is that you can use that extra money to do whatever pleases you, whether it's booking a luxury trip or saving up for a big-ticket item from your wishlist. You can see your relationship for what it was: the good, bad and in-between. It's hard to notice any flaws in your relationship when you're in it, making you wonder what actually went wrong that led to a breakup. But with distance comes reflection. 'Maybe you're able to see now that you both had flaws, or that it just wasn't meant to work,' Hathorn suggested. For example, maybe you realize your partner wasn't as supportive with your career as you'd like them to be or you both clashed on certain political beliefs. 'We often ignore what's right in front of us,' Rene Mondy, therapist and post-marriage expert, told HuffPost.'Sit with a journal and ask: What did I overlook, justify or downplay in this connection?' Fully processing the breakup allows you to figure out what matters most to you in a relationship, so you can seek out someone who is a better match. You're investing time in things you love. Raise your hand if you ever stopped doing something you enjoyed because you were too busy in your relationship. (*Raises hand*) It's happened to the best of us. Relationships, especially bad ones, can turn your focus away from the things that excite and inspire you. 'Sometimes we sideline our own hobbies for a relationship,' Hathorn said. She and DeSeta suggest redirecting your attention and energy back to yourself by investing in what matters most to you. Maybe it's seeing a therapist weekly to help you process your emotions or devoting more time to the gym. Maybe it's finally booking that solo trip to Portugal you've been wanting to do or just spending more time with friends and family. Getting back to your favorite hobbies will remind you of what you value most in life — something you can always take with you into your next phase in life, whatever that may be. You look at the future with a sense of possibility. After taking time to reconnect with yourself and having distance from your previous relationship, you'll have a better sense of what comes next, Hathorn adds. Whether you want to stay single for a while or you decide to dive into dating, you'll approach your next chapter with a stronger sense of self, higher standards and a life that's authentically yours. And, according to Hathorn, 'This is the real victory.' Related... This Is The Exact Moment You 'Lose' A Fight With Your Partner, According To Couples Counselors Straight Women Share The Exhausting Reason They Are Stepping Away From Dating Men 4 Signs You Have A 'Minimal Effort Partner.' And What To Do If This Kind Of Love Finds You. Solve the daily Crossword
Buzz Feed
14 hours ago
- Health
- Buzz Feed
6 Things Kids Notice Without Adults Realizing It
Kids are often more observant than many adults give them credit for. It's not just what we say to them directly that they're absorbing; it's how we talk about ourselves and others, what we say to others about them and how we behave, too. We asked experts what sorts of things children pick up on that adults don't always realize they're noticing. This list isn't designed to be judgmental; rather, it's a reminder that we can all bring a little more awareness to our day-to-day interactions. 1. How you feel about your partner, co-parent or their other caregivers. Fg Trade / Getty Images You may think you're being subtle when you roll your eyes at your partner or shoot your father-in-law a dirty look. But kids can catch those nonverbal cues, said clinical psychologist Jazmine McCoy, who goes by @TheMomPsychologist on Instagram. They're also capable of picking up on criticism or negative remarks about the other parent or caregivers in their life, even when you may try to mask them as jokes or sarcasm, she told HuffPost. 'Kids notice these dynamics, so try your best to speak highly of the other parent and caregivers around your child — even if they're in another room,' McCoy said. 'They probably still can hear you.' This is important regardless of your relationship with these people. Why? It helps the child feel safe, confident and cared for, more emotionally connected to their caregivers and less anxious, McCoy said. She offered a few examples of the kinds of things you'd want your child to overhear you saying about the other adults in your kid's life: 'Wow, Mommy planned a fun adventure for us!' or 'This dinner came out great. Daddy is a great chef!' or 'Aww, this looks like such a great memory you had with grandma. It was so nice of her to take you there.' 2. How you feel about your body. Fg Trade / Getty Images Children are 'astutely aware' of how adults talk about their own bodies and other people's bodies, said registered dietitian Alyssa Miller of the @ Instagram account. And they can read our body language, too. 'They can pick up on subtle — and not-so-subtle — actions, drawing conclusions about bodies,' she told HuffPost. 'They learn what is considered good and bad, desirable and undesirable.' They observe the way you look at yourself in the mirror and can make inferences from that. They notice if you never wear a bathing suit at the pool, if you delete lots of pictures of yourself or avoid getting in front of the camera altogether, Miller said. 'Adults are constantly showing kids how to view their own bodies through their everyday actions,' she said. 'Think about it: No baby or toddler is embarrassed by their belly, their thighs or their height until they hear comments or witness someone else being insecure about it.' 3. What you actually value. Fg Trade / Getty Images 'Kids notice what you actually value based on what you say and do. This is sometimes different from what you say you value,' said clinical psychologist Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and founder of the site Aha! Parenting. For example, you might tell your kid that sports are really about teamwork, learning new skills and having a good time with your friends. 'But then when you pick them up after the game, your first question is, 'Who won?'' Markham told HuffPost. You've probably told your child time and time again how important it is to be honest, 'but then you have them fib about their age to get a cheaper entrance fee at the amusement park,' she added. Children learn values by observing your behavior and then drawing conclusions about what you believe is important, Markham said. 'Regardless of what you consciously teach them, your children will emerge from childhood with clear views on what their parents really value, and with a well-developed value system of their own,' she added. 'We need to articulate our values to ourselves and then our kids ― not just once, but over and over, applying those values to the daily dilemmas our child faces.' 4. Your self-compassion (or lack thereof). Fg Trade / Getty Images 'One thing I've noticed time and again is that while different kids have different temperaments, their ability to give and receive grace and compassion often mirrors the adults around them,' Miller said. If your child is beating themself up over a mistake at school, you might comfort your child by imploring that they not take it so hard. But if you have a tendency to handle setbacks in this manner, too, your child has taken note of that. 'Kids pick up on how adults handle mistakes, their self-talk, unrealistic expectations and perfectionistic tendencies,' Miller said. 'Many people who lack self-compassion or are hard on themselves inadvertently teach kids to be critical and harsh with themselves,' she said. 'Conversely, adults who are gentle with themselves, admit mistakes and move past them teach kids resilience and to use mistakes as learning opportunities.' 5. Your relationship with food. Fg Trade / Getty Images Kids are paying attention to the eating habits of the adults in their lives as well as the way they speak about food. Parents and other caregivers 'directly influence' the food choices children make and the beliefs they develop about foods, Miller said. 'Innocent comments like 'Those are dangerous' around a plate of cookies, labeling foods as 'good' or 'bad,' skipping meals or expressing guilt about eating are all observed and internalized by children,' she added. Over time, such comments and behaviors shape a child's relationship with food, 'potentially leading to unhealthy eating habits or attitudes,' Miller said. 'Research shows that kids tend to eat the same foods their parents do, both as children and as adults,' she said. 'By modeling a balanced and positive approach to food, adults can help children develop healthy eating habits and a healthy relationship with food.' 6. How you talk about your kid to other adults. Fg Trade / Getty Images Let's say your child just had an epic meltdown at Target. When you get home, you fill in your partner about what just happened in the form of sarcastic comments about the ' amazing morning you two just had' or jokes about the incident, thinking it's probably going over your kid's head. 'They may not know what it all means, but they can pick up the fact that you think negatively about what happened, and this can negatively impact their self-esteem and relationship with you,' McCoy said. When you're talking to a friend, relative or co-parent, whether on the phone or in person, about something that happened with your kid, be mindful about the language you use, McCoy advised. 'Speak to the lesson learned or how you solved the problem versus focusing on the mistake or problem,' she said. 'Pretend you're talking to your child and speak to your partner about your child how you would to them directly.' HuffPost.
New York Post
3 days ago
- General
- New York Post
Boxed wine isn't just swill anymore, experts say — here's how to get the most bang for very few bucks
Not all boxes are made equally, some sparing sommeliers seem to think. Though boxed wines are often regarded as repulsive to bacchants beyond the age of 20, leading wine experts say they actually have some merit — if the consumer is choosy about the candidate in question. 'Whites and rosés can be enjoyed very young, so those are good choices for boxed wine. If you are going for a red, choose a young red and not a type of wine where you want some age on it,' sommelier Grace Hood told HuffPost. Less expensive boxed alternatives can also be ideal ways to test out trendy variants or labels for the first time. Ole – Of course, this doesn't mean all of the cardboard-cased Chardonnays, Cabernets and Concords are the creme de la creme. Hood also advised picking a product that's not manufactured by a colossal corporation. This is where harmful — and hangover-inducing — additives like sugar and food coloring typically come into the mix. As cocktail costs seem to continue soaring with no end in sight — NYC beverage baselines are often beyond $20 — many imbibers are looking to cut corners where they can. Boxed wines are often cheaper than bottled variants because of the reduced manufacturing rates that cardboard and plastic components typically boast — plus, they're more sustainable for the everyman and the Earth alike, the outlet pointed out. Some brands are now even offering consumers personal-sized boxes. Dennis M. Swanson – 'These products were created to minimize the carbon footprint in the wine world and to certainly bring value, convenience and ecology to the consumer,' said Jean-Charles Boisset of California's Boisset Family Estates, of the innovations in box tech back in 2016. The plastic bag that lines the interior of the box shrinks as wine is released from it — effectively sealing in the remaining stuff and preventing it from being spoiled by oxygen — so it tends to keep better than its corked cousins, and in some cases, can last for up to six weeks. Traditionalists needn't be terrified of the boxed wine renaissance, though — the classic bottle still reigns supreme. But the box is still creeping up the charts. As previously covered by The Post, top boxed wine brands to look out for include Black Box, FishEye, Banrock Station and BotaBox from California; French Rabbit and La Petite Frog from France; and Maipe from Chile. Hood echoed this — and advised keeping an eye out for smaller wine labels with natural ingredients.
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
22 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week (Aug. 2-8)
Woof — it's been a long week. If you feel like you've been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious posts about pets. We Shih Tzu not. Each week at HuffPost, we scour Bluesky, Instagram and X, formerly Twitter, to find the funniest posts about our furballs being complete goofballs. They're sure to make you howl. (And if you want more, no need to beg ― you can check out last week's batch right here.) just collabed with my dog on a walk — rob (@ok_but_still) August 3, 2025 She setup a "petting zoo" that featured her dog 😭 — OnlyBangers (@OnlyBangersEth) August 4, 2025 Me if the dog dies: — The Kaijuologist (@TheKaijuologist) August 7, 2025 I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets' whims too easily but holy shit these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time weeks ago they had a taste of some "better" food — 𓅯 my name is your name 𓆙 (@blleue) August 4, 2025 — WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme) August 2, 2025 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 — LAnDo NIFFIRG™️🇨🇦 (@llandoniffirg) August 4, 2025 View this post on Instagram A post shared by Good Boys Of New York (@newyorkgoodboys) school bus — bug girl (@buggirl) August 3, 2025 One thing to learn from cats is that they enjoy life with the perfect amount of selfishness: they ignore everything that doesn't concern them and are just lazy enough so that someone more eager does it for them, and they lock in instantly when the thing that matters appear — Sherry (@SchrodingrsBrat) August 2, 2025 — Punch Cat (@PunchingCat) August 7, 2025 — cats with powerful aura (@PowerfulAuraX) August 2, 2025 The head tilt and mini jumps are adorable 😂 — Wholesome Side of 𝕏 (@itsme_urstruly) August 7, 2025 I have to have a job because other than the money if I don't have a rigid externally imposed routine I get neurotic like an overbred herding dog — jz2 (@mixedgrass666) August 6, 2025 View this post on Instagram A post shared by Cats Doing Things (@catsdoingthings) Last night my cat fell asleep on my pillow so I just moved to the corner and let her have it — sydney (@mornings0da) August 4, 2025 MeEeEeEeEeEeEeEoW — Cats That Make You Go Awww (@CuteAdorableCat) August 5, 2025 there's an election for Cat Mayor currently happening in Somerville, Mass. and every cat deserves to win — cats being weird little guys 👅 (@weirdlilguys) August 7, 2025 How can you not love dogs 😂❤️ — Vince Langman (@LangmanVince) August 6, 2025 boss: enough with the jokes. we have to give the cats more literal names, ok? let's try again. what's thisme: a kitty catboss: great! and what's this oneme: a bananaboss: no — Nebraska Humane Cats (@NHSCats) August 6, 2025 View this post on Instagram A post shared by Amy Sedaris (@amysedaris) Related... 25 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week 21 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week 23 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
22 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week (Aug. 2-8)
Woof — it's been a long week. If you feel like you've been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious posts about pets. We Shih Tzu not. Each week at HuffPost, we scour Bluesky, Instagram and X, formerly Twitter, to find the funniest posts about our furballs being complete goofballs. They're sure to make you howl. (And if you want more, no need to beg ― you can check out last week's batch right here.) Related... 25 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week 21 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week 23 Of The Funniest Posts About Cats And Dogs This Week
