Latest news with #Jaffas
The Spinoff
18-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Spinoff
The Weekend: Nothing unites the masses like a deeply embarrassing man
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. 'Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.' This tweet from 2019 plays out in my head every time someone, anyone, becomes the main character of the day in New Zealand. Twitter in 2019 moved fast, and the main character from Monday, where tens of thousands of people were dunking on them, could very well be forgotten by Wednesday. This week, Ray Chung proved that in New Zealand, if you're embarrassing enough you could be the main character for a whole lot longer. If you aren't across the Chung train wreck, congratulations and stay blessed. If you are, you may have clocked that he managed to embarrass himself every step of the way. And nothing unites the masses like a deeply embarrassing man. There was the first rumour, sure. Embarrassing to fall for a schoolyard rumour when you're seven decades into life but not the greatest sin in the world. Then the refusal to apologise. Then the blaming of other councillors and media for quoting his own words in public. Then the being owned by would-be ally Sean Plunket live on air. Then the shambles campaign event. This man just cannot stop being embarrassing. Ray Chung is Drake in the Drake vs Kendrick beef. Except there's no Kendrick. Or maybe Kendrick is the semblance of common sense. Ray Chung is Drake, and I have never gladly thought about Drake in my life. Here's hoping for a new main character next week, for everyone's sake. The stories Spinoff readers spent the most time with this week A rare and compelling example of Main Character syndrome lasting a whole week. Feedback of the week 'I wish they'd de-extinct Jaffas, Snifters and Tangy Fruits instead. The biodiversity of the cinema snack bar has been severely depleted in recent years and introduced species like M&Ms have multiplied out of control. How are we to enjoy Sir Peter's next film (if he ever makes one, he seems to have gone off it a bit as of late) without the proper sweeties to complement it?' 'I once lived on an island which had a population of eight. Things got out of hand in the birthday celebration department and individual inhabitants had to be restricted to one celebration per annum.'
The Spinoff
17-07-2025
- Politics
- The Spinoff
Echo Chamber: Aussie roolz, NZ droolz
Every party in parliament agrees Australia is richer, cooler, prettier, better dressed, and will probably steal your man. Echo Chamber is The Spinoff's dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus. Did you know that the different parties in parliament have fundamental disagreements about economic policy? The New Zealand Labour Party thinks everything in this country is fucked because of the current government. The New Zealand National Party thinks everything in this country is fucked because of the previous government (the one run by the New Zealand Labour Party). New Zealand First, meanwhile, thinks everything in this country is fucked because of the word 'Aotearoa'. The Green Party of Aotearoa New Zealand think this country is fucked because of a long-standing guillotine shortage. Te Pāti Māori think the country is fucked because of an Atlas Network conspiracy to destroy indigenous rights. And the Act Party thinks the country is fucked because sometimes university professors say mean things about David Seymour. Of course, none of them are right. The country is fucked because RJ's stopped making Jaffas. After an extended winter break, the members of New Zealand's parliament have returned to Wellington to resume arguing with one another. One might have hoped that over the break, they might have figured out some new angles, but alas. It's all the same shit. During Wednesday's question time, Labour's Chris Hipkins and Barbara Edmonds were very keen to hammer the government over a new builder sentiment report, which showed the construction sector cratering with 15,000 job losses and masses of workers moving to Australia. They blamed the current government for cancelling a whole bunch of projects to build state homes, school upgrades, hospitals and public transport. National's Christopher Luxon and Nicola Willis responded with a formal 'nuh-uh it's your fault' and blamed the previous government for spending too much money on nonsense like state homes, school upgrades, hospitals and nonexistent light rail; thereby contributing to inflation, forcing the Reserve Bank to raise interest rates and creating a recession. Both major parties are essentially stuck in an ever-revolving hamster wheel of argument, where neither side is entirely wrong and neither side is entirely right. National swept to power on a wave of voter dissatisfaction with inflation and stagnating growth. Many people fairly blamed the Labour government's policies for contributing to that inflation. But while inflation has come down, economic conditions under the current government haven't turned around as quickly as many would have hoped. Nearly two years into the government, Labour hopes voters are forgetting about the last government, and National is determined to remind them. Finger-pointing is reaching record levels. Following on from the previous day's theme, Green leader Chlöe Swarbrick took aim at the government for the number of New Zealanders leaving the country – 191 people per day, according to analysis from Bernard Hickey. She quoted one young worker who described New Zealand with the phrase 'No work. Shit pay. Why stay?' That earned her a telling-off from speaker Gerry Brownlee, who is clearly feeling a bit sensitive about swears after Brooke van Velden dropped the c-bomb back in May. Using emigration rates as evidence of a government's failings is an old tactic. John Key used it with particular effectiveness as opposition leader, famously using Wellington Stadium in his 2008 election campaign to emphasise the number of people leaving for Australia annually. There was no attempt to defend this point from the government benches. Their response was, basically, 'yeah, obviously people are leaving, it sucks here, but it's the last government's fault'. 'Australia, for example, is a wealthier country than New Zealand and can pay higher wages,' said Nicola Willis. Everyone in parliament agrees Australia is richer, cooler, prettier, better dressed, and will probably steal your man. They're just arguing about who to blame. Luxon said the emigration numbers proved the Green Party should support fossil fuel industries. 'Where do Kiwis go when they go to Australia? They go to work in oil and gas and mining,' he said. (Are there a lot of mines on the Gold Coast?) Winston Peters, too, kept with the theme of repeating the same old hits. When Green MP Benjamin Doyle asked questions to health minister Casey Castello about the government falling behind on its goal of eliminating locally transmitted HIV in Aotearoa, Peter was very angry about that last word. 'Point of order, Mr Speaker. How did this question get approved by you or your staff when in the last few words, he mentioned a country that is not known in this world, nor was it recognised by the United Nations?' he said. Brownlee made Doyle repeat the question – they simply changed it to 'Aotearoa New Zealand'. This is an ongoing game between the Greens and New Zealand First, which has no foreseeable end. The more Peters complains about the word 'Aotearoa', the more the Greens will keep saying it. Around and around we go, spiralling continually inwards, getting nowhere. One for the record Parliament often welcomes delegations of visiting international politicians to sit in the public gallery and observe question time. The speaker traditionally kicks things off by welcoming the manuhiri, and the MPs stand to applaud them in acknowledgement. On Wednesday, a small group from France was in attendance. During his questions, Te Pāti Māori co-leader Rawiri Waititi focused on concerns raised by the UN special rapporteur on the rights of indigenous peoples, Albert K Barume, about the Regulatory Standards Bill. But it became clear that Waititi didn't know how to pronounce 'rapporteur'.
The Spinoff
15-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Spinoff
The shocking truth behind the death of Jaffas
Claire Mabey uncovers a giant Jaffas conspiracy. 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone.' – Joni Mitchell in a song that was later covered by Counting Crows. 'You don't know what you've got til you realise you never had it.' – Claire Mabey Content warning: What I am about to tell you will change everything you think you know. Please continue with care. They're small and round and tinged with citrus. They're like marbles, only opaque, and not made of glass. Some people bite right into them like the cave men before us while others prefer to suck them slowly until the outer shell is compromised and eventually melts away to reveal the chocolate orange centre which also melts and becomes a tiny hot chocolate made with your own spit. I, like many New Zealanders, like to indulge in a Jaffa at the movies. It's a reliable, comfortable habit in a reliable, comfortable place. There's the popcorn, and the Jaffas, and the pineapple lumps and there's the previews and the dark room and the giant screen. In fact that's the only place I have ever eaten Jaffas other than the odd one offered up for free with a long black – a lovely little gesture that felt like something that was just ours. A solitary treat-Jaffa given by the kind of cafe you could take your nana to. When I heard that RJ's was going to stop making Jaffas I discovered I was upset (though it was nothing compared to when Pascall stopped making Snifters). Isn't there enough change in this world? Aren't we losing so much already? The climate? Species? Why take away our movie treats too? This question weighed heavy on my mind when I went to my local cinema, purchased my ticket to Jurassic Park: Rebirth, and a small white bag of Jaffas. As ScarJo and Jonathan Bailey dodged the grotesque mutant dinosaur and told each other that 99.9% of species are now extinct, I took comfort in sucking approximately 12 Jaffas so slowly they lasted almost the whole film. When the film was over I shuffled out of the dark cocoon and into the light with my empty little white paper bag in my hand (screwed up and sweaty thanks to the dinosaurs). I walked it to the rubbish bin closest to the counter and said to the cinema worker who was tidying up some empty water glasses: 'It'll be weird not to have Jaffas soon, eh?' The young woman stared at me with a quizzical look. I'd said something wrong. 'You know, Jaffas?' I said and pointed to the row of plump little white paper bags filled with Jaffas in front of her on the counter. RJ's Jaffas in little white paper bags. 'Oh, yeah well actually we use Choc Orange Balls.' Silence as I stared back, my heart giving odd little skips. 'What are those?' 'Choc Orange Balls? You can get them from Moore Wilson's.' Choc Orange Balls? I stared at the bin. At the sad little paper bag lying there. All this time? I've been eating 'Choc Orange Balls'? Have they always been Choc Orange Balls? Have I ever eaten an actual Jaffa? An actual RJ's Jaffa? Have any of us? I was shaken. Had I just inadvertently uncovered a massive conspiracy? Or was I simply the last one to know that there are off-brand Jaffas out there in the world masquerading as actual Jaffas? Determined to uncover the truth I pulled on my coat, pushed my way through the crowd and out onto the cold Wellington street. Everything looked different. Shop fronts, street signs … the air itself felt … colder. I took my usual shortcut through the carpark and down the side street to where Moore Wilson's sat smugly like Wellington's most Wellingtonian home of fresh produce and fancy breads and Ottolenghi products and freshly squeezed orange juice that people will literally line up for 30mins to get on a Saturday and that you can't get at all when there's flooding in Tairāwhiti. I knew I'd never seen Jaffas at Moore Wilson's before. At least not on the produce side. But what about the bulk purchases side? That's where I once bought a carton of Spacemen and a massive tube of 100 Chuppa Chups. Could that be where these 'Choc Orange Balls' lived? I held my breath as I slipped past the lanes of checkout workers and past the boxes of generically packaged lollies to the tall shelves where the branded bulk lollies were arranged. And there they were. Bold as brass. A huge box of red and brown bags with a small Moore Wilson's product sign below them: 'Confectionary House Chocolate Orange Balls 1kg. $24.70 / Ea.' The lady at the movies was telling the truth. Here they were right in front of me. Choc Orange Balls. I picked up a bag and inspected the contents through the window of clear packaging. Small, orange balls. Like marbles but opaque. I flipped the bag over and read and as I did my world came crashing down. 'Handmade by our artisan confectioners right here in Australia.' Oh. My. GOD. Australians. They hadn't even tried to give them a cool name. Just Choc Orange Balls. Like something out of South Park. As I stood there in front of a wall of lollies in Moore Wilson's, a bag of Choc Orange Balls heavy in my arms, I asked myself how long this had been going on? Who else was slipping into Moore Wilson's to buy pretend Jaffas in bulk and hawking them as the real deal? Maybe this was a one-off. Maybe this cinema just didn't even really know? Maybe there was an Australian in charge with Australian tastes? I grabbed a bag, paid $24.75 for it and got the number 29 home. Wellington has many cinemas. They're part of what makes our city great. When it's windy and shit you go to the movies and you eat Jaffas, real Jaffas, and chew them up with your popcorn so you get sweet-savoury at the same time. I got out my coloured post-its and wrote down the names of all the cinemas I could remember and stuck them on the wall in my office. One by one I phoned them. 'Hi, do you sell Jaffas?' 'Oh pretty sure we sell an off-brand Jaffa,' the guy on the other side said, and laughed. WHAT. 'So, like, what do you sell?' 'Hold on, I'll just go check.' My heart was pounding, my pits were oozing, and I was shovelling Choc Orange Balls while I waited like they're the ones going out of fashion. 'You there?' 'Yup.' 'We sell Choc Orange Balls.' 'Do you put them in little white paper bags?' 'Yes.' 'What do you call them?' 'Ah. Um … why do you ask?' 'Do you call them Jaffas?' Suddenly he was suspicious. He knew I was investigating. 'Why are you asking?' I slammed the phone down. I pulled the post-it with the name of that cinema off my wall and screwed it up and tossed it into the bin just like that little white paper bag that had never seen a Jaffa. I called up the next cinema, trying to keep calm while my mind raced. 'Hi, do you sell Jaffas?' 'Yep.' 'RJ's Jaffas that are Jaffas? Or do you sell something else?' 'We get Choc Orange Balls from Dandy Candy in Petone.' Dandy Candy? 'What's Dandy Candy?' 'A distributor.' 'Thanks,' I said, scribbling it down. 'And before I let you go can I just ask if you sell your Choc Orange Balls in little white paper bags?' 'Yes we do.' God damn it. I put the phone down and stared at my notes. Dandy? Candy? It sounded like an off brand version of that terrifying Candyland board game where the gingerbread man has to run through lolly streets to escape certain death. I turned to Google. 'Dandy Candy NZ lollies distributor'. And there it was. Not Dandy but Dandi. Of course. There were rows and rows of branded treats: Cadbury, Pascall, The Natural Confectionary Company. I gingerly clicked into the search bar and typed, 'Choc Orange Balls'. An image of bright red-orange balls burst onto my screen. Not even any packaging, just naked balls spilling everywhere, some broken into rubble with their innards exposed like they'd been chewed and callously spat out. It was true. Everything the cinema people had told me was true. At the top of the screen was a phone number. Just a cell number, not even an 0800. Who knows where this string of digits would lead me next. I took a deep breath, dialled it and waited with my heart hammering in my ears. Ilesh Patel answered and what I didn't know then was that this conversation would fundamentally change me as a person. What Patel told would transform my understanding of how lollies worked in this country; in this world. DandiCandy is a family-owned and run licensed candy wholesaler that has been operating in the Wellington region for nearly 25 years. Patel has 480 customers including supermarkets, dairies, Air New Zealand, Kiwi Rail, and yes, cinemas. And Patel distributes 30 brands including RJ's and its Jaffas. 'It's a big loss,' he told me, 'but there's always someone bringing in something else.' 'Like the Choc Orange Ball?' I asked. Patel confirmed that they sell a lot of Choc Orange Balls but what he told me next blew my mind and made the decimated Choc Orange Ball now acidifying in my belly start to riot. 'The difference between Choc Orange Balls and Jaffas is that Choc Orange Balls are made out of compound chocolate.' What in the fresh hell?? I flipped over the Choc Orange Balls packet in front of me and read the ingredients list: 'Compound Dark Chocolate' was the first item. It's not even buried – it's just right there. God Damn It! Is this like the friends episode where Monica has to make recipes out of Mocklit? I put Patel on speaker and frantically googled. 'Compound chocolate is a product made from a combination of cocoa, vegetable fat and sweeteners. It is used as a lower-cost alternative to pure chocolate ('whole chocolate' is natural raw chocolate that contains cocoa butter) as it has less-expensive hard vegetable fats such as coconut oil or palm kernel oil in place of the more expensive cocoa butter,' says Wikipedia. 'So it's not even real chocolate?' I asked. No, he said. No it's not. What Patel explained to me next I can only relay in fragments and I'm sorry about it but I was reeling. I felt sick from all the compound chocolate in the Choc Orange Balls. But what he told me was that in essence we are just too small to sustain the Jaffa, or the Snifter, or the solitary packaged Chocolate Fish, or the god damn Toffee Milk! (I cried out as a core memory of buying five Toffee Milks for 50 cents from my local dairy shunted forth and stabbed me with its nostalgia.) Australian companies like The Confectionary House are just too big. They're too powerful and what they dictate, we have to follow. Patel then told me that RJ's was sold to an Australian company in 2015 and what could be going on is actually it's the Australian parent company that doesn't want the Jaffa and we're just too small to … WHAT? I put my head in my hands (Patel was still on speaker). Not. Even. Locally. Owned? RJ's is Australian? What ISN'T Australian? When is this going to stop? When are they going to stop? God damn it! 'Are you there?' I apologised to Patel and explained I just needed a second to compute the enormity of what he'd told me. He asked me then if I remembered the giant Jaffa. And I don't. I don't remember it because maybe it was too brief. Or maybe there never really was a giant Jaffa, just a giant Choc Orange Ball sold in a white paper bag. Have I ever even eaten an actual Jaffa with its real chocolate and expensive fat? Will Australia ever stop taking stuff we really like even if we don't actually buy it that often? All I know is that I have been eating Choc Orange Balls for a long time. I think a lot of us have been eating Choc Orange Balls for a long time. 'That's so much for your time, Ilesh,' I say. I put my phone down and stare at the packet in front of me. I glance up at my post-it wall. There is one cinema left. I pick up my phone once more, unsure if I am emotionally ready for whatever might come next, and dial the number. 'Hi, do you sell Jaffas?' 'Yes! Jaffas are the bomb!' I'm wary. 'OK, but are they RJ's Jaffas called Jaffas by RJ's?' 'Yes! I'm going to really miss them. I love them.' Bless you, angel. 'When they're gone, will you go for an alternative, like… the Choc Orange Ball, have you heard of those?' 'No, but we probably won't replace them.' 'Why not? Don't people buy Jaffas?' 'Nah not really. They just get M&Ms.'
The Spinoff
09-07-2025
- General
- The Spinoff
Obituary: Goodbye my Jaffas, goodbye my friend
Tara Ward bids an emotional goodbye to a national treasure… or is it? Friends, we are gathered here today to mourn the sudden and unexpected loss of Jaffas, the small but powerful confectionary that delighted New Zealand tastebuds for nearly 100 years. Last week, Levin-based RJ's Confectionary announced that they would no longer make Jaffas due to declining sales. Already, the shelves are clear, the sweeties are gone. Jaffas have flown to the big lolly shop in the sky, where they will rest eternally alongside other murdered snacks like Tangy Fruits, Snifters and proper marshmallow Easter eggs. Since Jaffas were invented in 1931, New Zealanders have treasured those tiny balls like they were the fruit of their own loins. We ate Jaffas in boxes and scoffed them from bags. We threw handfuls at the movies and launched thousands down the street. We sent them to friends overseas and proudly recommended them to visitors to our country as an example of our sophisticated palate. Jaffas represented everything that was good about us. Much like a Jaffa, New Zealanders are also quite nice once you break through the hard shell. I fear this is all my fault. Cut me open and you'll find I am approximately 90% Jaffas, 0% of the Auckland kind. This tasty treat has seen me through the seasons of my life: teenage acne, post-natal acne, perimenopausal acne. They have been a trusted crutch, a sweet release, a reliable friend, but recently, things had changed. Our relationship had soured. One bag of Jaffas started costing upwards of $5.19, and in this economy, I had to draw the line. Indeed, I drew it with the smudgy red stain left on my sweaty palms from my final fistful of Jaffas – and look at what happened next. The sudden demise of Jaffas hit the nation hard. Our national news services dedicated several stories to the cruel passing, with one commentator blaming RJ's for not giving Jaffas the respect they deserved and another wondering if they were even any good in the first place. Auckland mayor Wayne Brown called it a 'national tragedy' and despite not knowing where Horowhenua was, ordered local mayor Bernie Wanden to 'sort it out!' One mourner was so struck down with grief that they tried to sell a single packet on TradeMe for $1500 (free shipping). HeraldNow's Ryan Bridge mused that it was all just a conspiracy theory, before asking a question that cut straight through to my choc-orange core: 'Without a national lolly, who are we?' But before we throw ourselves into a bottomless pit of existential doom, I bring breaking news from beyond the grave. Dry your tears, my sweet-toothed fiends, because Jaffas weren't even an uniquely New Zealand treat. Much like Kiwiana icon Frosty Boy actually originating in America, Jaffas were invented in Australia in 1931 by James Stedman-Henderson's Sweets Ltd. They were introduced to both Australia and New Zealand markets and made here by Cadbury until 2018, when the Dunedin factory closed. Jaffas were then made in Australia, before RJ's Confectionary took over as Jaffa's production company in Aotearoa. It said 'Made in Australia' in tiny print on the back of my last ever Jaffa packet. The tangy choc-orange flavour isn't an Antipodean invention, either. The iconic Jaffa flavour was first created in 1927 by McVitie and Price in England, when they invented the Jaffa cake. They named it after a popular variety of orange in Britain at the time, which was grown in the then-Palestinian town of Jaffa. McVitie and Price didn't trademark the Jaffa Cake, which meant that any Tom, Dick or James Stedman-Henderson could pick up the flavour and run with it. Aotearoa, we have been mourning a false idol. Do not stand at Jaffas' grave and weep. They are not there, they were invented in Australia, inspired by the English and named after a town on the other side of the world. The truth about Jaffas may be hard to swallow, but we must never forget that a life full of Jaffas is a life well lived. Jaffas leave behind a grieving family of five million, although some mourners have already begun questionable rebound relationships. Rest in peace, my sweet little Jaffas. In lieu of flowers, donations may be rolled down Baldwin Street.
Otago Daily Times
02-07-2025
- Business
- Otago Daily Times
Otago lolly firm chews over Jaffa alternative
Oamaru-based sweets-maker Rainbow Confectionery has said it would consider launching its own alternative to Jaffas as "we believe the Kiwi customers deserve quality New Zealand-made confectionery". PHOTO: PETER MCINTOSH It may not be the end of the Jaffa after all. An Otago confectionery company has not ruled out creating its own alternative to the beloved orange treat it has dubbed an "iconic Kiwi favourite". RJ's Confectionery announced on Tuesday the sweet was being discontinued indefinitely, citing declining sales. Rainbow Confectionery general manager Brent Baillie said they were sad to see the "iconic" product taken away from New Zealand consumers. "Jaffas are as much of a cultural symbol to New Zealand confectionery lovers as Snifters were and their supporters will be left feeling a bit put out." It was a sign of the times, as excessive manufacturing costs had "severely impacted" the options to produce products that were not sold on volume. "This is just another example in a long line of departed iconic Kiwi favourites." Brent Baillie. Photo: file But when asked if the Oamaru-based sweets-maker would consider launching its own alternative to Jaffas, Mr Baillie said: "Yes, definitely, as we believe the Kiwi customers deserve quality New Zealand-made confectionery". There was no "real alternative" to the product on the market, he said. Jaffas were originally produced by Australia's James Stedman-Henderson's Sweets Ltd, in 1931. In 2018, Levin-based RJ's Confectionery announced the signing of a deal with Mondelez International to take over the manufacturing and production of the sweet. That followed the closure of Mondelez's Dunedin factory months earlier, which produced its New Zealand Cadbury's products. The city's annual Jaffas race down Baldwin St was last held in 2017.
