Latest news with #MarkTravers
The Star
23-05-2025
- General
- The Star
The '24-hour rule' can help defuse tension in couples' conflicts
The '24-hour rule' can help you process your emotions before responding to an event or conversation that could lead to a heated argument. — AFP Are you the kind of person who gets carried away in an argument with your other half, only to regret your words afterward? The "24-hour rule', a method suggested by an American psychologist, could help defuse the tension, giving you the space you need to tackle the situation with a calmer mindset. It's a situation that most of us have probably experienced before: an offhand remark, a frustration or even a simple misunderstanding with your partner can send tensions soaring. In the heat of the moment, emotions run high, and it can feel urgent to get things off our chest. In this case, arguments can blow up very quickly. While minor frictions within a couple are completely normal, some conflicts could be avoided – or at least handled more effectively – if we took time out before speaking to avoid saying things we might regret! The American psychologist Mark Travers, who specialises in couples therapy, recommends a technique he has dubbed the "24-hour rule" to help defuse these kinds of explosive arguments as much as possible. The idea is simple: in the event of disagreement, argument or any other tense exchange with your other half, allow 24 hours to pass before responding. In other words, take advantage of this breathing space to ease the pressure before responding to an event or conversation that has gotten under your skin. As you'll have gathered, the aim is to avoid letting your emotions get the better of you, and to talk things over with a clear head. In an article published in January in Forbes magazine, the therapist extols the many benefits of his method for getting a grip of our emotions. "Far from avoiding confrontation or downplaying the significance of an issue, the '24-hour rule' creates space for reflection and emotional regulation. By pausing, you can approach the situation with a calmer, more thoughtful mindset," he explains. A vital asset So what can you do during this 24-hour cooling-off period to avoid dwelling on the subject, at the risk of having the tension reignite as soon as you pick up where you left off? If simply taking a step back isn't enough, Travers suggests doing relaxing and/or creative activities like yoga, meditation, writing, painting, brisk walking, etc. "These practices give your mind the clarity it needs to separate the issue from the initial emotional charge," the specialist explains. "The '24-hour rule' creates this vital space for reflection and understanding, enabling you to step back, assess the situation objectively and determine whether the issue is as pressing as it initially seemed or if it reveals deeper concerns needing exploration," he adds. This approach can be extended beyond romantic relationships as a means to handle tense situations with family members, at work or in friendships. "When you consciously take a step back from the situation, you train yourself to shift from a reactive mindset to a proactive one, creating space for rationality and perspective. "Over time, this practice not only improves how you navigate conflicts but also enhances your overall emotional intelligence – a vital asset in any relationship," writes Travers. So now you know what to do when you can feel an argument brewing with your partner, your mother, your colleague or your friend! – AFP Relaxnews
Free Malaysia Today
18-05-2025
- General
- Free Malaysia Today
'24-hour rule' could relieve tension in couples' conflict
The '24-hour rule' can help you process your emotions before responding to an event or conversation that could lead to an even more heated argument. (Envato Elements pic) PARIS : It's a situation most of us have experienced before – an offhand remark, a frustrating reaction, or even a simple misunderstanding with your partner can send tensions soaring. In the heat of the moment, emotions run high, and it can feel urgent to get things off our chest – which is how a simple disagreement can quickly become a full-blown argument. While minor frictions within a couple are normal, some conflicts can be avoided, or at least handled more effectively, if we took time out before speaking to avoid saying things we might regret. US psychologist Mark Travers, who specialises in couples therapy, recommends a technique he calls the '24-hour rule' to help defuse these kinds of explosive arguments as much as possible. The idea is simple: in the event of disagreement, argument or any other tense exchange with your other half, allow 24 hours to pass before responding. Take advantage of this breathing space to ease the pressure before responding to an event or conversation that has got under your skin. The aim, clearly, is to avoid letting your emotions get the better of you, and to talk things over with a clear head. In an article published in Forbes magazine, the therapist extols the many benefits of his method for getting a grip on our emotions. 'Far from avoiding confrontation or downplaying the significance of an issue, the 24-hour rule creates space for reflection and emotional regulation. By pausing, you can approach the situation with a calmer, more thoughtful mindset,' he explains. The 24-hour rule can be extended beyond romantic relationships to handle tense situations with family members, friends, or colleagues. (Envato Elements pic) What can you do during this cooling-off period to avoid dwelling on the subject? If simply taking a step back isn't enough, Travers suggests doing relaxing and/or creative activities like yoga, meditation, writing, painting, or going for a walk. 'These give your mind the clarity it needs to separate the issue from the initial emotional charge,' he says. 'The 24-hour rule creates this vital space for reflection and understanding, enabling you to step back, assess the situation objectively, and determine whether the issue is as pressing as it initially seemed or if it reveals deeper concerns that need exploration.' This approach can be extended beyond romantic relationships as a means to handle tense situations with family members, at work, or in friendships. 'When you consciously take a step back from the situation, you train yourself to shift from a reactive mindset to a proactive one, creating space for rationality and perspective. 'Over time, this practice not only improves how you navigate conflicts but also enhances your overall emotional intelligence – a vital asset in any relationship,' Travers concludes.
Scottish Sun
16-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- Scottish Sun
The toxic but common phrase that's guaranteed to eventually end your relationship, according to a psychologist
Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) ROWS. Clashes. Conflict. Disputes. Whatever you call arguments, every relationship has them. But your fighting style could directly impact how successful your romance is, especially if you hurl a particularly common but toxic phrase into the mix, warns one psychologist. 1 Relationship arguments are most often linked to one partner comparing their relationship or life to someone else's Credit: Getty Many couples admitted to saying the statement, or had it directed at them, before their relationship broke down, according to relationship psychologist Dr Mark Travers. The expert often speaks to couples who are having unrelenting spats at home - and he finds that when he digs deeper, there is always a root cause. Arguments are most often linked to one partner comparing their relationship or life to someone else's, Dr Travers explained. 'There's one phrase I've seen come up in these exchanges that's more damaging than you think: 'Why can't you be more like [insert other person's name]?',' he wrote for CNBC Make It. This is what the psychologist calls the 'death-by-comparison' effect and it leads to 'irreparable insecurity issues' over time. He believes that it is an obvious indication that your relationship is in trouble, no matter how confident you are you could make it out of the bad patch. He said: 'The real message will always remain the same: 'You're not enough, and someone else - anyone else - could do a better job at being my partner'.' Dr Travers continued that it is important to communicate our needs in relationships = 'clearly, without shame or comparison'. And the more secure a person feels in their relationship, the more likely they are to communicate directly. He said: 'Relationships require the willingness to love each other as real, flawed, irreplaceable humans - not as comparisons to someone else.' Your sex life could also indicate that you're heading for divorce, another relationship expert told The Sun. Shockingly, nearly nine in 10 couples feel like they're not getting enough, according to a recent study. According to Kate Taylor, a relationship and sex expert, your sex life can be a powerful indicator of your overall relationship health. But how little is too little? And when does a dry spell become a red flag for your relationship and marriage? She said: 'If you're worried about your relationship, start by looking at your sex life. 'There are certain signs in the bedroom that suggest all is not well and a divorce may be on the horizon.' Among these is doing it less than once a month, never orgasming and sex feeling like a chore. Only getting heated between the sheets after 10pm is a bad sign too, Taylor warned.
Yahoo
09-05-2025
- Sport
- Yahoo
Middlesbrough summer transfer plans in place with top targets identified
MIDDLESBROUGH have identified their top targets for the summer with their transfer plans in place as the club looks to rebound quickly from their disappointing Championship campaign. Boro aim to strengthen in several departments across the pitch in what promises to be a busy summer on Teesside. The capture of a centre-forward is a priority, while Boro will also look to strengthen in the wide areas and at centre-half. Boro will also look to add to their midfield, which was something they tried to do in January, and right-back is another area that will be addressed. On the back of a disappointing 10th place finish, Boro bosses will conduct what has been described as a thorough review of the season rather than rushing into major decisions, which includes Michael Carrick's position as head coach. But while that is ongoing, Boro want to ensure they're not left playing catch-up in the summer window as they set about plotting an improvement on the pitch next term. RECOMMENDED READING: As things stand, it's highly unlikely that any of the loanees from the second half of the campaign will return to Boro for next season. Boro would have been keen in making Mark Travers' loan spell permanent and will monitor the 25-year-old's situation over the course of the summer. But Bournemouth's asking price will likely be a major sticking point and Travers is expected to have more lucrative options this summer. Sol Brynn, who had just earned his chance as Boro's No.1 before suffering a dislocated shoulder on Boxing Day, will be fit for the start of pre-season, but Seny Dieng won't be back in action before the campaign gets underway in August, so Boro will monitor their goalkeeper situation over the course of the summer. Boro will sign a centre-forward this summer on the back of Emmanuel Latte Lath's January exit. Boro still have high hopes for January arrival Morgan Whittaker but will look to strengthen their options in the wide areas. Carrick's decision not to replace Matt Clarke in January backfired, with Boro left short at centre-half, and that's an area that will be addressed this summer. With Anfernee Dijksteel approaching the end of his contract this summer, he'll be replaced at right-back if, as looks likely, he moves on. There's also a decision to be made on Jonny Howson's future as the captain's current deal nears its end. When quizzed on the summer window after Saturday's disappointing final day defeat at Coventry, Carrick said: 'We look at the squad and what needs to be done with the group - how we can improve things, how we can help the boys overcome the disappointment they feel now and use it to come back stronger. "There was a lot of change in the squad again this season, a lot of turnover. It's a constant evolution really. That's just something we'll continue to work towards. That's just how the summer works. "It's not any bigger than any other summer transfer window we've faced. I think there are really good foundations in the group and the core of the squad is really strong. "It's something that we need to try and build on because clearly we need to be stronger when we come out for the start of the season. "It's continuing to evolve - that's the constant challenge. It doesn't mean it's any bigger than any other. In some ways, the stability we've built over the two-and-a-half years or so is there. We've just got to keep adding to it."
Irish Daily Mirror
07-05-2025
- Sport
- Irish Daily Mirror
Ireland goalkeeper targeted by ambitious Championship newcomers
League One champions Birmingham City are set to swoop this summer for Ireland goalkeeper Mark Travers. The St Andrew's men are ready to spend on their return to the Championship - and they have the resources to move for Travers, who has reportedly been priced out of a permanent transfer to Middlesbrough. The Kildare native moved to Teesside late in the January transfer window on loan from Bournemouth and played 17 times in the Championship. Boro boss Michael Carrick was hoping to turn the move into a permanent one this summer, after the 25-year-old's successful spell. However, reports suggest that the asking price will be out of Middlesbrough's bracket. Birmingham are one of a number of clubs monitoring the four-time capped goalkeeper, and their ambitions to challenge for back-to-back promotions next season will see the purse strings loosened this summer. Ryan Allsop and Bailey Peacock-Farrell battled for the number one role during Birmingham's successful League One campaign. Travers made five Premier League appearances this season before his move to Middlesbrough, but spent most of his time as back-up to Kepa Arrizabalaga. Arrizabalaga is currently on-loan from Chelsea and he could make his move permanent this summer, so Travers' days there appear to be numbered. He has made a total of 82 first-team appearances with the Vitality Stadium side, and has also enjoyed loan spells with Weymouth, Swindon and Stoke. Get the latest sports headlines straight to your inbox by signing up for free email .
