3 days ago
She Thought Her Pregnancy Was Going as Planned. Then She Saw the First Sign of a Heartbreaking Loss (Exclusive)
NEED TO KNOW
Sarah Thuleen thought her pregnancy was progressing normally until one moment at home turned everything upside down
What began as a simple keepsake became the centerpiece of a story about love, grief and resilience on TikTok
Sarah's path through heartbreak has led her to honor her baby in deeply personal, unexpected waysShe thought her pregnancy was going as planned until the morning she woke up and saw the first sign of a heartbreaking loss. Now, one mother is sharing her story of love, grief and the tiny hat that has come to symbolize it all.
Sarah Thuleen's video has resonated with millions, opening a window into the most vulnerable chapter of her life. 'This is literally how tiny she was,' Sarah tells PEOPLE, her voice tender as she holds up the hat that once fit her daughter, Eileen.
The TikTok struck a chord with viewers around the world, showing the tiny clothes and keepsakes Sarah was given at the hospital. In her caption, she wrote simply: 'My little teeny tiny baby, she was 4.4 oz and 7 inches.'
Sarah's pregnancy began unexpectedly but with deep excitement. 'We found out we were pregnant on February 6, so like, right away,' she says. Becoming a mother had been her dream for as long as she could remember. 'It's truly been my dream forever,' she says.
Though she and her baby's father had only just started dating, she felt ready to embrace motherhood. 'You have all the feelings of, like, scared but excited, unknown,' she recalls.
She remembers the rush of emotions that came with seeing a positive pregnancy test. 'I was thrilled, really,' she says.
But as her pregnancy progressed, Sarah began experiencing unusual pain during a trip with a friend. She chose to wait for her scheduled 16-week appointment rather than seek immediate care.
'I was like, worst case scenario, I go to the doctor,' she says. 'I have my 16-week appointment on that Monday.'
At that appointment, everything seemed fine. Her baby's heartbeat was strong, and her doctor reassured her it was likely just round ligament pain. 'She's great,' the doctor told her. But five days later, everything changed.
Early Saturday morning, Sarah woke up to a terrifying rush of liquid. 'I looked down, and the cord was falling out of me,' she says, the memory still sharp.
She called her friends and a nurse's line, still hoping it wasn't serious. 'I honestly thought it was going to be fine,' she says. 'Like, we just shove it right back up, and everything resumes as normal.'
At the hospital, she learned the devastating truth. 'They looked and said, 'Oh yeah, that is a cord,' ' Sarah recalls. Doctors told her there was nothing they could do to save her baby at that gestational age.
'We're just gonna have to watch her heart rate go down, and she's just gonna die,' she remembers hearing. 'It was the most heartbreaking moment of my life.'
Initially, doctors suspected an incompetent cervix, but later discovered the cause was a prolapsed cord. 'For whatever reason, my cervix opened just the tiniest bit for my water to break and the cord to fall out,' she explains.
Even after a full autopsy, no clear reason emerged. 'She was perfect, like, literally everything about her was perfect,' Sarah says. 'There's no reason she shouldn't be here today.'
Meeting her daughter remains one of Sarah's most treasured memories. 'She just fit in, like, the palm of my hand,' she says. 'She had all of her hands and all of her toes, and we literally just, like, sat there and stared at her for hours. She was perfect.'
Among the keepsakes from the hospital was the tiny hat that later became the centerpiece of her TikTok. 'They put the hat on her, and it all just, like, fell into place,' she says. 'Now I get it.'
Her mother has since begun crocheting hats for a nonprofit that supports grieving families. 'That's how my mom is choosing to honor my baby,' Sarah says.
Grief, Sarah explains, is complex and often misunderstood. She wishes more people realized that postpartum depression can also follow pregnancy loss. 'My milk came in, and that was a whole thing because my baby's not here,' she says. 'That just puts you through another level of grief.'
She also wishes people would be more mindful about how they offer support. For her, the most meaningful gestures were the simplest. 'Sending me a DoorDash gift card or Starbucks gift card. Then I could decide when I wanted to use them,' she says.
In time, Sarah began sharing her story online, hoping to offer comfort to others. 'I wanted to be that source of, like, what's after, for that person who's also in that place that I was,' she says.
The response to her TikTok has been overwhelming and deeply validating. 'There is truly such a range of women that have experienced this, and it's all shared, you know what I mean?' she says. 'It just feels so validating.'
Not all responses have been easy to navigate. Sarah remains cautious about sharing too much, especially photos of her daughter. 'I'm always weary about showing pictures of her because I don't want to alarm anyone,' she says. 'She didn't really have skin...'
Still, the tiny hat remains a powerful symbol of her daughter's brief but meaningful life. It serves as a quiet reminder of the love and grief Sarah carries with her every day.
Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Today, Sarah continues to honor her daughter in deeply personal ways. She has spread her daughter's ashes in places that hold special meaning, from Florida to Colorado to Grand Cayman.
'I call it, showing her the world,' she says. 'Every time I go to the ocean, anywhere, I know she's a part of the ocean.'
Moving forward has meant making choices rooted in healing and self-care. She moved to Dallas on what would have been her daughter's birthday – a decision that brought her a new beginning. 'It was the happiest, best decision I've ever made for myself,' she says. 'Every day, I see and do things, and I just think, she's telling me, 'I'm proud of you, Mom.' '
Sarah encourages others facing loss to seek help, whether through therapy, medication, or time away from work. 'I finally had the motivation to, like, start to grow,' she says.
Sharing her story has also helped her heal. 'Talking about things that you go through, and talking about just creating that community has truly helped me heal so much,' Sarah says.
Read the original article on People
Solve the daily Crossword
