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Indian Express

I am that unpleasant woman…

I am that woman who, at a party, will not stand for mansplaining or laugh at jokes about men doing the dishes. I am that woman who refuses to serve my male relatives before I serve myself. I am that woman who will not solely bear the burden of keeping the family healthy and happy. I am that woman who will not explain to curious people why my husband and I have different surnames. I am that woman who will not back off from an argument as a show of respect to older men. I am that woman who will judge people who save for their son's education and their daughter's wedding. I am that person who thinks boys should be taught needlework in school. I am that woman who doesn't shy away from talking about sport in a room full of men watching a game. I am that woman who has had fingernails dug into her arm to silence her and got stern looks from male relatives telling me that I was crossing limits. I am that woman who refused to be donated (kanyadaan) in marriage. I am that woman who is not scared to call herself a feminist in front of those who cringe at the word. I am that woman who was told to eat less and speak less by a well-meaning aunt who will never be caught telling her nephews the same thing. I am that person who thinks patriarchy sucks, however benevolent. I am that woman who creates marital discord by telling young girls to hold their ground and encourages family feuds by telling women that they have equal rights in property as their brothers do. I am that woman who never gave my daughter a kitchen set to play with. I am that woman who people call cantankerous because she has an imposing voice. I am that woman who cannot sit cross-legged. I am that woman who is called neurotic and mad… why? Because she is menopausal. I am that woman who unapologetically loves to wear make-up, shop and attend kitty parties. I am that woman who doesn't wear sindoor, mangalsutra or keep karva chauth. I am that woman who will not keep quiet in fear of being socially boycotted. Yes, I am that unpleasant woman. And, finally, I am proud to be one at 50. The writer is a Delhi-based freelance journalist who has worked with major Indian publications for over 25 years. National Editor Shalini Langer curates the fortnightly 'She Said' column