Latest news with #Starz
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Outlander: Blood Of My Blood Boss Reveals What Got Author Diana Gabaldon 'On Board 100%' Despite A Specific Story Change
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. The epic saga of Outlander on Starz is set to wrap the love story of Claire (Caitriona Balfe) and Jamie (Sam Heughan) in the eighth and final season. Their devotion has spanned centuries, wars, and tragedies, and questions still remain for the long-awaited last batch of episodes. Fans can get a fix of that Outlander world of time travel romance soon in the 2025 TV schedule, with the premiere of the prequel spinoff called Outlander: Blood of My Blood. Showrunner Matthew B. Roberts opened up about expanding the story of Claire's parents, and why author Diana Gabaldon was "on board" with the changes from her books. Matthew B. Roberts was an executive producer on Outlander going back to the very beginning, but the future is now bright for Blood of My Blood after the drama's early Season 2 renewal. Speaking with SFX Magazine on CinemaBlend, Roberts explained the origin of Blood of My Blood as the story of Claire and Jamie's respective parents, with a time travel twist that even Claire herself didn't know about. As far as Claire knew, her parents had died in a car crash when she was very young. The trailer makes it quite clear that she was actually very wrong. Roberts said: Then I just posed the question, 'What if they didn't die in the car crash?' That's where the prequel really took off in everybody's mind. A magical thing about Outlander is time travel, as that's the thing that is weaved throughout all the episodes and all the books. Even when Claire comes back in the books and she stays [in the past], there's still much more time travel with the other family members. Technically, Blood of My Blood isn't rewriting Claire's history from Starz's Outlander or Diana Gabaldon's books. Fans may have believed that Claire's parents died in a car crash based on her narration, but the reveal works as long as the leading lady just never knew the whole story about Julia Moriston (Hermione Corfield) and Henry Beauchamp (Jeremy Irvine) to narrate it. Normal narrative rules don't have to apply when time travel is involved, and Outlander lore states that time traveling is hereditary. Claire had to get it from somewhere! Of course, leaning into an unreliable narrator to spin a whole new origin story is one thing, but what about the author? Diana Gabaldon has spent nine books (and counting) establishing one canon across more than thirty years of her life. Matthew B. Roberts shared how she reacted to his idea for the prequel: I knew all the places I wanted to go, so it was easy to pitch Diana where I wanted to go with the characters. When I first pitched her Henry and Julia, she was on board 100% right off the bat. Just like how Diana Gabaldon penned several episodes of the original series, she wrote the penultimate episode of Blood of My Blood's first season and co-wrote the finale with Matthew B. Roberts. The showrunner consulted with the author about the story, but she wasn't looking over his shoulder from start to finish. Roberts explained the extent to which she was involved, which included writing the penultimate episode of Season 1. He said: She was well aware of where we were going the whole time. It wasn't like I was checking in with her to go, 'Can I go this way, or can I go that way?' She knew where I wanted to go from the beginning, and she was fine because in her mind, the books and the show are two different things. I know a lot of the audience sometimes doesn't think that, but she does, and we do too. Diana Gabaldon has gotten candid about Outlander making changes from page to screen in the past, so I for one am interested in watching her episodes that are not actually adapting from a book that she wrote. Blood of My Blood also stars Harriet Slater as Ellen MacKenzie and Jamie Roy as Brian Fraser, bringing Jamie's parents to life on the small screen. While fans will have to wait for the premiere to see just how this story will unfold across two timelines, I think it's at least safe to say without any spoilers that the Outlander prequel nailed it when it came to casting actors who look like they could be related to Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe. Outlander: Blood of My Blood premieres on Friday, August 8 at 8 p.m. ET on Starz. In a fun twist, that premiere is almost exactly eleven years to the date from when Outlander premiered in 2014 and introduced the world to Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan's versions of Diana Gabaldon's already beloved book characters. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Outlander Raises Frustrating New Questions About Jamie's Fate In New Season 8 Footage, But I'm Just Hyped By Starz's Surprise Treat For Fans
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. The long wait for Outlander's eighth and final season will officially extend beyond the end of the 2025 TV schedule, but that doesn't mean Starz will leave fans of the original series hanging for the rest of the year while Blood of My Blood delves into the lead duo's parents. San Diego Comic-Con's 2025 panel not only dropped the first footage for the last season (complete with nostalgic nods to the past), but also ended on a major surprise treat for fans that guaranteed that I'm not going to be too troubled by the questions about Jamie's fate just yet. That is, a major treat if you're as much of a fan of the show's opening theme as I am! But let's start with the first glimpses of Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan in their last season as Claire and Jamie Fraser. After all, 'frustrating' isn't a bad thing when it comes to teaser trailers – we're never going to get all the answers ahead of time, and half the fun of speculating and the frustrating lack of answers! Outlander Revisits The Past In The First Look At Season 8 The teaser (seen above) admittedly features more footage of the first seven seasons than glimpses of the eighth, but I actually loved the nostalgia. Not only was it a blast to the past that hooked me into the saga of Claire and Jamie, but it really reminded me of how well the show's makeup team managed ageing up Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan. Sure, the actors wouldn't look as young as they did when they filmed the 2014 pilot by Season 8 anyway, but Sam Heughan during the SDCC panel clearly wasn't as old as his fictional counterpart by Season 8's point in the timeline. (Caitriona Balfe was unable to attend.) And Season 8's point in the timeline might not be great for Jamie. While the cliffhanger of Faith's possible survival and time travel status isn't addressed in the trailer, it does suggest that perhaps Outlander will address its longest-standing mystery before the final credits roll: the spectral image of Jamie that Claire saw before she traveled back to the 18th century for the first time. The mention of Frank's book combined with those flashes to the earliest days of the show (including Tobias Menzies as both Frank Randall and Black Jack Randall) already had me thinking back to when he was Claire's beloved 20th century husband, as he was when Ghost Jamie first appeared. Throw in the question of whether this truly will be the season when James Fraser meets his doom, and there's a lot to ponder ahead of the 2026 return. The stakes are sky-high in a final season when a show doesn't actually have to prevent its main characters from being killed off for good, and Outlander foreshadowed Jamie's ghost (sort of) way back in the beginning. Alas, we just have more questions than answers at this point, and I'm left frustrated that the Season 1 scene of Claire spotting Jamie in the 1940s wasn't one of the nostalgic flashes. But my frustration and need for more answers didn't last as I sat in San Diego Comic-Con's Outlander panel. Raya Yarbrough's Surprise Performance If the name 'Raya Yarborough' doesn't ring a bell for you, you must not have spent as much time as I have listening to the Outlander soundtracks. Yarborough performed the iconic 'Skye Boat Song' that has been featured in every Outlander episode to date, with different variations for the first six seasons before Sinéad O'Connor's version was used for Season 7. There were variations to the tune throughout the seasons with different arrangements, and one of my favorites was the Jacobite version from Season 2, which includes the drums of war and tied perfectly to the Battle of Culloden. The duet version with Griogair kept the lyrics but changed the tone by adding a male voice to go along with Yarborough's, and was a fun surprise back in 2018. But the fun surprise from SDCC this year? Raya Yarborough herself took the stage to perform 'The Skye Boat Song' on the Hall H stage between the end of the Outlander panel and beginning of the Outlander: Blood of My Blood panel. As if that wasn't enough of a treat for fans like me who would never dream of skipping ahead through the opening credits of an Outlander episode and missing the credits, a four-man concert of bagpipers turned up to play 'Scotland the Brave.' And if you've never heard a bagpipe played in person before… well, it's loud, thrilling, and a pretty great way to hype the end of one show and start of another! While the wait is still on for Outlander to get a more specific release date than the news that Season 8 will arrive in 2026, the wait for Blood of My Blood won't last too much longer. The spinoff premieres on Friday, August 8th at 8 p.m. ET on Starz, with the fun coincidence that the date is almost exactly eleven years to the date from Outlander's series premiere. The series has also already been renewed for Season 2, so there's no need to worry if the stories of Claire's parents and Jamie's parents will be cut short.
Forbes
3 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Forbes
Katie Lowes Talks About The Once-In-A-Career Role In ‘The Hunting Wives'
Katie Lowes talks about the incredible experience she had starring in 'The Hunting Wives.' Viewers cannot stop talking about The Hunting Wives. Love it, or not, it's a twisted thriller with a lot of steamy sex scenes and a fun binge-watch. But it's not just the sheer amount of nudity that has gotten viewers hot and bothered; as high ratings for this show and a slew of like-minded reality series prove, watching beautiful, wealthy people misbehaving makes for good TV. Perhaps, it's voyeurism intertwined with a dose of Schadenfreude when karma comes knocking, that serves as a sort of justice. Katie Lowes, well known for her roles in soapy dramas, said she's never experienced anything quite like her character Jill, a preacher's wife and obsessively doting mother with a dark side that's hidden beneath meticulously coiffed hair and a plastered-on smile. 'Jill is the type of juicy character that every actor dreams of playing. This was a once-in-a-career opportunity. ' The sex-driven drama, originally set to premiere on Starz, is now streaming its first season exclusively on Netflix in the U.S. for one year. Fans are hopefully optimistic that there will be a second season, but there has been no official word yet. However, the show reached No. 3 on Netflix's global English TV Top 10 list with 5.2 million views and No. 3 on the U.S. only English TV Top 10 list. Making the cut suggests that we might hear good news soon. Despite Jill's obvious issues, Lowes defends her character, who, like many in the show, faces an unfortunate demise. When asked if Jill got what she deserved, Lowes immediately replied with, 'Absolutely not! She did nothing wrong!' Well, as fans of the show know all too well, none of these characters are exactly innocent, but as Lowes points out, Jill killing Chrissy Metz's Starr was self-defense and justified. 'I stand by my character.' Though the viewer does see Starr approach Jill's house, shotgun in hand and ready to rumble, we do not see exactly what happened when Jill opened the door. We just know it wasn't good. The viewer, like Malin Akerman's Margo and Jaime Ray Newman's Callie, see the result of whatever that exchange was, which was Starr's bloody corpse splayed out on Jill's pristine kitchen floor. This fan is hoping Lowes and Metz can return in flashbacks in a second season to fill in the blanks on this. Of course, we also need to know what happens between Margo and Brittany Snow's character, Sophie. Lowes acknowledges her character's imperfections and has empathy for her lonely existence. 'She has a weird Oedipal obsession with her son. She's a helicopter parent, but this is a heightened version of that. She needs a lot of therapy. And her marriage is horrible; I think she's had sex with her husband a handful of times, if that. She has nothing other than her son and the church, but he comes first. I don't think she's been loved by anyone or anything in her life. She got married very young and had a baby, and didn't have many intimate experiences in her life. And so I think a lot of her wiring has gotten crossed.' As for her character's dramatic death at the end of what could be a first season, Lowes knew this was the deal when she first signed on to the Rebecca Cutter-helmed drama. Cutter, who served as showrunner, writer, and executive producer, adapted May Cobb's bestselling novel of the same name for television, and if you're a fan of The Hunting Wives, her drama Hightown is also streaming on Netflix. 'To say, 'You c**ts' and then die is something that will only happen once in my career, and I'm so grateful to Rebecca. Jill deserved the best death scene because I had the best time portraying her. I've never received this many texts and calls about a show! I'm just gobsmacked,' she exclaimed, referencing the number of messages she's received about the numerous steamy sex scenes and frontal nudity woven throughout the eight episodes. 'I'm getting texts from people of all ages, but there's a difference in what they're saying. My older friends are commenting on the amount of nudity, including full frontal, and the numerous sex scenes. Younger friends are obsessed with the show's twists and turns and the plotlines, and they're not even mentioning the sex at all.' Currently, Lowes can be seen in three series on Netflix: Shonda Rhimes' Scandal and Inventing Anna, and now The Hunting Wives. Though she's well known for sudsy dramas, Lowes is also fantastic in lighter fare, including the adorably charming Merry Kiss Cam, directed by Lisa France. The rom-com, currently streaming on Hulu, has had a surge in viewing following the Coldplay incident. Katie Lowes in 'The Hunting Wives' on Netflix. As Jill, who might just be the only person in the East Texas town of Maple Brook who isn't fornicating with friends and neighbors behind her husband's back, Lowes missed out on the steamy sex scenes. 'My clothes stayed on,' she laughed, somewhat relieved about one thing. 'I have yet to make that phone call to my dad to prepare him.' As for whether she'd be open to filming sex scenes like several of her co-stars, Lowes replied, 'I'm totally game if the storyline calls for it.' She also explained that she feels differently now about these types of scenes than she did when she was a younger actress, and she praised the show for its brave take on female empowerment around sexuality, admitting it's had her thinking. 'Once I turned 40, I had this new feeling about sex scenes. I'm just sort of like, 'F**k it.' I used to be really careful about things like that. I used to be conscious about being naked. I've been naked on stage before, but that was before the invention of the iPhone,' she said, referring to her time at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts, where such on-stage nudity was considered artsy. 'Nudity was part of a lot of the plays I did, but I haven't done anything like that since. I've always been conscientious, and I don't know, I've sort of been like, 'Oh, my gosh, I had two kids. I'm in my mid-40s. I'm coming up on menopause.' I don't know what that would be like now, but I feel like I could stand to spice it up a little bit.' She reflected on the behind-the-scenes fun the cast and crew had during the five months of filming in Charlotte, North Carolina. 'This was the first time many of us had ever left our children for a job,' adding that they each traveled back and forth, and their families also came to visit. 'I had always taken my kids on every job. And now we're at that crossroads where they're in school, and I couldn't pull them out. I had a lot of anxiety about leaving them.' Katie Lowes and Jaime Ray Newman in 'The Hunting Wives' on Netflix. The experience wasn't short on fun, she added, saying they had almost as much fun as their respective characters. 'We all lived in the same apartment building, like Melrose Place with a pool in the middle. After filming, we'd go honky-tonkin' at Coyote Joe's.' Lowes is filled with gratitude for the entire experience. 'I'm a New Yorker, a Long Island girl. What a dream to play a Southern belle…a clutch-your-pearls, the higher-the-hair, closer-to-God, larger-than-life woman. I had so much fun and am so grateful to Rebecca for trusting me with her.' She hypothesized about a few additional questions, including whether she believes that Jill knew that Margo and Brad were having an affair, and that Margo got pregnant and had an abortion. 'I don't think so because she might have killed her at that point!' Back to the question about Jill's death with the possibility of a season two hanging in the air, Lowes said, 'I'd follow Rebecca to the ends of the earth and do whatever she wanted. Hopefully, Jill's ghost will get some revenge.'
The Guardian
5 hours ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
TV's best (and worst) historical epics: from Wolf Hall to I, Claudius
Inflate thy balloons and unsheathe thy Party Rings, for here is Chief of War (Apple TV+) to remind us of the joy of the scowling historical epic. Here too, almost, is Battle of Hastings belter King & Conqueror (BBC, August). And Spartacus: House of Ashur (Starz, this winter). Also in the period-specific pipeline are second series for Disney+'s brilliant Shogun and Amazon Prime's terrible House of David. Historical epics, it would not be unreasonable to say, are everywhere. But which are the best and which should be catapulted, screaming, across a poorly rendered CGI battlefield? Given their abundance, some arbitrary judging criteria are clearly in order. Hence: no 'fantasy' nonsense (ie Game of Thrones) and nothing set after the early 1800s, the latter on the grounds that a) there are too many of the sods and b) Julian 'Downton Bloody Abbey' Fellowes has effectively tucked the era under his top hat and run off with it while honking like an overprivileged goose. Let battle commenceth… A barrel-chested wodge of Big History in which mountainous creator and co-writer Jason Momoa thunders through the based-on-true-events that led to the late 18th century unification and, ultimately, colonisation of his native Hawaii. And it's brilliant; from its predominantly Polynesian cast to the sense of doom that swirls perpetually around the scenic foothills of Mount Momoa. It may lean a touch too heavily on extended, subtitled brawls in which there is much [grunting], but this is heartfelt storytelling; as muscular and sincere as its loinclothed protagonist. Startlingly brutal middle ages od(in)yssey in which mud-caked peasants duck from the flailing mace of progress/death and Norsemen with calves like bowling balls stagger across fjords, their complexions suggesting they may not be getting their five a day. There are the obligatory fireside frottageings, but this is clever stuff, with complex characters, an atmosphere of thunderously oppressive gloom and dialogue that does not make one long to inter oneself, sobbing, in a flaming longship. The second adaptation of James Clavell's 1,100-page clomp through the late Sengoku period of feudal Japan, this US-produced saga leaves its beloved 1980 predecessor spluttering in its backwash, the latter's once sacrosanct USP (Richard Chamberlain blinking expressionlessly in a kimono) unable to compete with the former's rich, knotty script, riveting characterisation and steadfast attention to historical detail. Cue stoic samurai, scurvy-ridden sailors and preoccupied warlords in a succession of exquisitely indifferent terrains and everyone else sprinting for cover as the whole shebang is (justly) pelted with Emmys. Yes, the pace is slow, the sets perfunctory and the wigs apparently assembled from the contents of a vacuum cleaner. But still, 50 years on, the BBC's adaptation of Robert Graves' novels on the bastardry of the early Roman empire remains one of TV's finest achievements, with an unapologetically adult script and magnificent, pillar-rattling performances from John Hurt, Siân Phillips and Derek Jacobi, the last assisted by prosthetic makeup and a false nose that could dislodge the cobwebs from a triumphal arch. An object lesson, here, in how to deliver prestige historical drama without recourse to bums or bombast. Instead, there are exquisitely layered performances (Damian Lewis, Jonathan Pryce), quiet, adult explorations of difficult, adult things (grief, ageing) and many, many candlelit silences into which Mark Rylance's Thomas Cromwell glides, his expression, as always, that of a ferret saddened by developments in France. A monumental achievement, obviously, and in director Peter Kosminsksy and scriptwriter Peter Straughan's hands, a near-perfect adaptation of Hilary Mantel's three-piece masterpiece. Rome, 1492, and the Vatican is besieged by filth as director/co-creator Neil Jordan takes a stiff quill to non-secular skulduggery. Cue: tumescent priests, pouting strumpets and a never-wearier Jeremy Irons as Pope Shagger VI. Here, historical integrity is something to be bent over and humped, unconvincingly, behind a net curtain. The script? Pfft. The acting? Tsk. The plot? Possibly, although it's tricky to concentrate on the dynastic machinations of 15th century Italy when Irons in a mitre keeps shouting 'WHORE'. A catastrophic attempt by the BBC to replicate the success of I, Claudius by squeezing Grade II-listed hams into togas and forcing them to SHOUT at punishing length about the PTOLEMAIC DYNASTY in what appears to be an abandoned REGIONAL LEISURE CENTRE. The upshot? Tedium. Plus? Bald caps, flagrant boobery, Richard Griffiths 'working' a 'smoky eye', the line 'Let's get out of Egypt!' and trembling extras gulping in horror as the plot catapults yet another flaming ball of exposition at the studio floor. Manacled jocks go loincloth to loincloth in a US production comprised almost entirely of buttocks. There is, occasionally, other stuff: blood, knockers, airborne viscera, Americans in sandals decapitating other Americans while shouting 'ass', some 'plot' or other involving revenge, John Hannah (as dastardly slave trader Batiatus) bellowing 'BY JUPITER'S COCK!' at 30-second intervals etc. But it is mainly buttocks. Watch it on fast-forward and it's like being shot in the face by a pump-action bum-gun. One, two, swashbuckle my shoe: abject 'international co-production' tosh here from the Beeb as Alexandre Dumas's novels are reimagined for whichever generation it is that is supposed to be interested in this sort of thing. And lo, much adolescent tomfoolery doth ensue, with PG-rated punch-ups, tiresome hunks smirking in pleather and dialogue of the 'Things just got complicated!' genus. The result? Hollycloaks. Peter Capaldi does his best as Cardinal Richelieu but it would take more than thigh boots and nostril-flaring to lighten this particular load. Verily, my liege, this idiot Canadian-Irish co-production does dance a merry jig upon the very concept of historical accuracy, with its Irish Henry VIII (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), its ripped courtiers and Joss Stone as Anne of Cleves. There is the occasional grudging nod to Actual Historical Stuff (the Reformation, wives etc). But it's mostly just Henry banging his way around Tudor England, his bum cheeks jack-hammering with such ferocity that they are little more than a meaty blur, like a deli counter viewed from the top deck of a speeding bus in the rain. Chief of War is on Apple TV+ from 1 August.
The Guardian
9 hours ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
TV's best (and worst) historical epics: from Wolf Hall to I, Claudius:
Inflate thy balloons and unsheathe thy Party Rings, for here is Chief of War (Apple TV+) to remind us of the joy of the scowling historical epic. Here too, almost, is Battle of Hastings belter King & Conqueror (BBC, August). And Spartacus: House of Ashur (Starz, this winter). Also in the period-specific pipeline are second series for Disney+'s brilliant Shogun and Amazon Prime's terrible House of David. Historical epics, it would not be unreasonable to say, are everywhere. But which are the best and which should be catapulted, screaming, across a poorly rendered CGI battlefield? Given their abundance, some arbitrary judging criteria is clearly in order. Hence: no 'fantasy' nonsense (ie Game of Thrones) and nothing set after the early 1800s, the latter on the grounds that a) there are too many of the sods and b) Julian 'Downton Bloody Abbey' Fellowes has effectively tucked the era under his top hat and run off with it while honking like an overprivileged goose. Let battle commenceth… A barrel-chested wodge of Big History in which mountainous creator and co-writer Jason Momoa thunders through the based-on-true-events that led to the late 18th century unification and, ultimately, colonisation of his native Hawaii. And it's brilliant; from its predominantly Polynesian cast to the sense of doom that swirls perpetually around the scenic foothills of Mount Momoa. It may lean a touch too heavily on extended, subtitled brawls in which there is much [grunting], but this is heartfelt storytelling; as muscular and sincere as its loinclothed protagonist. Startlingly brutal middle ages od(in)yssey in which mud-caked peasants duck from the flailing mace of progress/death and Norsemen with calves like bowling balls stagger across fjords, their complexions suggesting they may not be getting their five a day. There are the obligatory fireside frottageings, but this is clever stuff, with complex characters, an atmosphere of thunderously oppressive gloom and dialogue that does not make one long to inter oneself, sobbing, in a flaming longship. The second adaptation of James Clavell's 1,100-page clomp through the late Sengoku period of feudal Japan, this US-produced saga leaves its beloved 1980 predecessor spluttering in its backwash, the latter's once sacrosanct USP (Richard Chamberlain blinking expressionlessly in a kimono) unable to compete with the former's rich, knotty script, riveting characterisation and steadfast attention to historical detail. Cue stoic samurai, scurvy-ridden sailors and preoccupied warlords in a succession of exquisitely indifferent terrains and everyone else sprinting for cover as the whole shebang is (justly) pelted with Emmys. Yes, the pace is slow, the sets perfunctory and the wigs apparently assembled from the contents of a vacuum cleaner. But still, 50 years on, the BBC's adaptation of Robert Graves' novels on the bastardry of the early Roman empire remains one of TV's finest achievements, with an unapologetically adult script and magnificent, pillar-rattling performances from John Hurt, Siân Phillips and Derek Jacobi, the last assisted by prosthetic makeup and a false nose that could dislodge the cobwebs from a triumphal arch. An object lesson, here, in how to deliver prestige historical drama without recourse to bums or bombast. Instead, there are exquisitely layered performances (Damian Lewis, Jonathan Pryce), quiet, adult explorations of difficult, adult things (grief, ageing) and many, many candlelit silences into which Mark Rylance's Thomas Cromwell glides, his expression, as always, that of a ferret saddened by developments in France. A monumental achievement, obviously, and in director Peter Kosminksy and scriptwriter Peter Straughan's hands, a near-perfect adaptation of Hilary Mantel's three-piece masterpiece. Rome, 1492, and the Vatican is besieged by filth as director/co-creator Neil Jordan takes a stiff quill to non-secular skulduggery. Cue: tumescent priests, pouting strumpets and a never-wearier Jeremy Irons as Pope Shagger VI. Here, historical integrity is something to be bent over and humped, unconvincingly, behind a net curtain. The script? Pfft. The acting? Tsk. The plot? Possibly, although it's tricky to concentrate on the dynastic machinations of 15th century Italy when Irons in a mitre keeps shouting 'WHORE'. A catastrophic attempt by the BBC to replicate the success of I, Claudius by squeezing Grade II-listed hams into togas and forcing them to SHOUT at punishing length about the PTOLEMAIC DYNASTY in what appears to be an abandoned REGIONAL LEISURE CENTRE. The upshot? Tedium. Plus? Bald caps, flagrant boobery, Richard Griffiths 'working' a 'smoky eye', the line 'Let's get out of Egypt!' and trembling extras gulping in horror as the plot catapults yet another flaming ball of exposition at the studio floor. Manacled jocks go loincloth to loincloth in a US production comprised almost entirely of buttocks. There is, occasionally, other stuff: blood, knockers, airborne viscera, Americans in sandals decapitating other Americans while shouting 'ass', some 'plot' or other involving revenge, John Hannah (as dastardly slave trader Batiatus) bellowing 'BY JUPITER'S COCK!' at 30-second intervals etc. But it is mainly buttocks. Watch it on fast-forward and it's like being shot in the face by a pump-action bum-gun. One, two, swashbuckle my shoe: abject 'international co-production' tosh here from the Beeb as Alexandre Dumas's novels are reimagined for whichever generation it is that is supposed to be interested in this sort of thing. And lo, much adolescent tomfoolery doth ensue, with PG-rated punch-ups, tiresome hunks smirking in pleather and dialogue of the 'Things just got complicated!' genus. The result? Hollycloaks. Peter Capaldi does his best as Cardinal Richelieu but it would take more than thigh boots and nostril-flaring to lighten this particular load. Verily, my liege, this idiot Canadian-Irish co-production does dance a merry jig upon the very concept of historical accuracy, with its Irish Henry VIII (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), its ripped courtiers and Joss Stone as Anne of Cleves. There is the occasional grudging nod to Actual Historical Stuff (the Reformation, wives etc). But it's mostly just Henry banging his way around Tudor England, his bum cheeks jack-hammering with such ferocity that they are little more than a meaty blur, like a deli counter viewed from the top deck of a speeding bus in the rain. Chief of War is on Apple TV+ from 1 August.
