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Time of India
a day ago
- General
- Time of India
Pebbles of progress
'If you want to feed a person for a day give him a fish, if you wish to feed him for a lifetime, teach him how to fish.' Dr Ajit Varwandkar is a Career Psychologist and a Thought process Transformation Expert by profession. He is working on enhancing employability through career guidance and training. Just capacity development is not his motto; enabling youth is the intent. He started his career as a mechanical engineer and eventually went into clinical psychology, management and doctoral research. He is an avid trainer of Thought Engineering for corporate and educational institutes. He is a music lover and plays the Indian classical percussion instrument – Tabla. He is the author of the book Think Success and Be Successful. He loves to write inspirational blogs on self-improvement and career development issues. He believes in living life at zero complaint level and is always keen to focus on solutions than on excuses. LESS ... MORE We often chase success as if it's a race to be won in a day. But the truth is, success usually visits those who stay committed to small, steady steps, even when no one is watching and even when progress is painfully slow. Let me tell you the story of a farmer named Ravi who lived in a small village. His crops dried up every summer because his well had no water. People advised him to buy water, but Ravi had a different idea. He believed in creating a lasting solution. So, each morning, he picked up his spade and dug a little deeper into the hard, dry earth. Just an hour a day. His neighbors laughed. 'Why waste time?' they mocked. But Ravi remembered his father's words: 'Steady work moves mountains.' Weeks passed. There was no water. just dust and sweat. Still, Ravi continued. One morning, a miracle happened – moist soil appeared. Then came the water. By the next summer, while others watched their crops wither, Ravi's fields were green and thriving. Ravi's story reminds us that steady effort beats noisy intentions. You may recall the classic tale of the thirsty crow. Finding a pitcher with water too low to reach, the crow didn't complain or fly away. Instead, it patiently dropped pebbles into the jar, one by one. It took time. It took effort. But in the end, the water rose high enough to quench the crow's thirst. That crow didn't need magic. It needed patience. I also remember a real-life example from a crowded marketplace: a young girl named Meena ran a tiny tea stall. Her business was slow, not because her tea was bad, but because people didn't even notice her faded signboard. She wanted to paint a new one, but didn't have the money. Rather than borrow, she made a small decision: she would save a few coins every single day. Now, think about how easy it would have been for her to give up halfway? Or to borrow the money just like others told her to? But Meena stuck to her plan. She knew her pace was slow, but she trusted it. Eventually, she had enough to pay an artist to paint a bright, eye-catching sign. Customers started pouring in. Her stall buzzed with life, all because of consistent savings and values she never compromised. Consistency not only fuels success, it builds character. But what happens when consistency fails? Let's peek into one of the oldest Indian stories, the tale of the monkey and the crocodile, from the Panchatantra. A monkey lived in a tree and shared his fruits daily with a crocodile. Over time, they became friends. But the crocodile's wife didn't like this friendship and tricked her husband into inviting the monkey for a meal, with a plan to eat his heart. On the way, the crocodile revealed the trap. The monkey didn't panic. Calm and clever, he replied, 'Oh! I left my heart on the tree. Take me back.' The crocodile believed him, swam back, and the monkey quickly jumped to safety. The crocodile's inconsistent loyalty to his friend cost him everything. At the same time, the monkey's consistent calmness and presence of mind saved him. In all these stories, one common thread shines bright: the power of consistency. Whether it's a farmer digging daily, a crow dropping pebbles, or a girl saving coins, small steps repeated with discipline lead to big outcomes. Today, more than ever, we are surrounded by distractions. Social media, fast-paced trends, and the pressure to 'go viral' often make us believe that slow and steady is boring or outdated. But if you look closely, every masterpiece – a painting, a successful business, or a fulfilling career was built one stroke, one idea, one hour at a time. We don't need to be perfect. We just need to be consistent. So, whatever your goal: studies, health, sports, or art, ask yourself: What small thing can I do today that, if repeated, will change my future? Then do it. And tomorrow, do it again. That's how magic is made. Not with shortcuts but with steps. Not with speed but with steadiness. Consistency is not a loud drumbeat; it's the quiet rhythm of progress. Whether you're digging a dry well, saving coins, or facing challenges with calm wit, small efforts done daily can reshape your destiny. In a world full of fast fixes, it's the slow builders who create lasting legacies. Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email Disclaimer Views expressed above are the author's own.
Time of India
31-05-2025
- Business
- Time of India
Stop the blame game
'If you want to feed a person for a day give him a fish, if you wish to feed him for a lifetime, teach him how to fish.' Dr Ajit Varwandkar is a Career Psychologist and a Thought process Transformation Expert by profession. He is working on enhancing employability through career guidance and training. Just capacity development is not his motto; enabling youth is the intent. He started his career as a mechanical engineer and eventually went into clinical psychology, management and doctoral research. He is an avid trainer of Thought Engineering for corporate and educational institutes. He is a music lover and plays the Indian classical percussion instrument – Tabla. He is the author of the book Think Success and Be Successful. He loves to write inspirational blogs on self-improvement and career development issues. He believes in living life at zero complaint level and is always keen to focus on solutions than on excuses. LESS ... MORE Over the years, I have come to a powerful realisation – there are broadly two kinds of people in this world. The first are those who are powered by a positive mental attitude. These individuals view life through the lens of possibility, not limitation. The second type is those who find themselves crippled at the first sign of adversity. They carry within them a quiet but firm resistance to challenge, a hesitance to grow, and an ever-ready inventory of excuses. Let me begin with the first kind – the growth seekers. These are people who do not flinch in the face of failure. In fact, they almost welcome setbacks as valuable lessons in disguise. For them, problems are opportunities to wear a different hat. They live not in the illusion that life will be smooth but in the conviction that their attitude will decide their altitude. I recently read a biography of a highly successful entrepreneur. His startup failed twice, and he lost friends, money, and even self-confidence. But what he didn't lose was his vision. He started again, taking lessons from his past experiences, and today, his company employs over five hundred people. What made the difference? Mindset. On the other hand, I have seen people who stumble once and never rise again – not because the fall was fatal, but because they never prepared their character to be indomitable. They become permanent residents of the land of excuses. Their narrative is often peppered with blame – 'My boss didn't like me,' 'Luck never favours me,' or 'The system is rigged.' Slowly, they nurture beliefs that the world is unfair, others are dishonest, and success is meant only for a privileged few. Such a belief system becomes their most significant barrier. They are trapped in the web, and they spin for themselves. One such person was Laddu Pinto, a young musician from a small town. Laddu had talent, no doubt. He could create melodies that touched hearts. But he also had a habit of running away from difficulty. If a gig was canceled, he would say the organiser was biased. He would say the world didn't value art if someone else was selected over him. Over time, he found himself bitter, broke, and forgotten. One day, during a chance conversation with a street violinist in Mumbai, something changed. The violinist said, 'If your dream dies because someone didn't clap for you, it wasn't a dream – it was just a wish.' That line pierced Laddu's soul. He went home, looked in the mirror, and asked, 'What if the problem is not outside but inside me?' From that day, Laddu took a vow – no more excuses. He started again, this time with consistency and humility. He learned marketing, collaborated with other musicians, and built his online presence. It took him four years of grit, sweat, and silence. Today, Laddu Pinto performs at music festivals nationwide and teaches music to underprivileged children on weekends. What changed? His mindset. The purpose of this column is not just to highlight these two categories of people but also to encourage self-reflection. It's time to ask ourselves: Which category do I truly belong to? To aid in this self-assessment, consider keeping a journal to track your thoughts and actions or seeking feedback from trusted friends or mentors. It is excellent if you find yourself in the first group, those charged with optimism. But do not get complacent. Your attitude is your biggest strength. Keep nurturing it. Don't let one success make you arrogant or one failure make you doubt your journey. If you belong to the second group—those who feel stuck in a loop of defeat and denial—then here's a gentle reminder: change begins with self-awareness. Start small. Set one goal and stick to it. Stop the blame game. Don't wait for motivation to knock at your door—invite discipline instead. Write down your dreams. Find role models. Read their struggles. You'll realise that success is not a straight line; it's a zigzag of failed attempts, painful realisations, and relentless efforts. Build habits that support your growth. Stay away from people who constantly complain. Surround yourself with those who push you, challenge you, and believe in your potential, even when you don't. In conclusion, life offers us two choices every day: grow or excuse. One leads to strength, the other to stagnation. The road to excellence is often the tougher one, but it is also the one worth taking. Let us not be prisoners of our circumstances but architects of our future. Like Laddu Pinto, you too can rewrite your story. It all starts with one decision, to choose courage over comfort. Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email Disclaimer Views expressed above are the author's own.
Time of India
23-05-2025
- General
- Time of India
When no one is watching you
'If you want to feed a person for a day give him a fish, if you wish to feed him for a lifetime, teach him how to fish.' Dr Ajit Varwandkar is a Career Psychologist and a Thought process Transformation Expert by profession. He is working on enhancing employability through career guidance and training. Just capacity development is not his motto; enabling youth is the intent. He started his career as a mechanical engineer and eventually went into clinical psychology, management and doctoral research. He is an avid trainer of Thought Engineering for corporate and educational institutes. He is a music lover and plays the Indian classical percussion instrument – Tabla. He is the author of the book Think Success and Be Successful. He loves to write inspirational blogs on self-improvement and career development issues. He believes in living life at zero complaint level and is always keen to focus on solutions than on excuses. LESS ... MORE Let's begin with a simple exercise. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and answer this question in at least ten sentences: 'Who am I?' Done? Now for the next step, close your eyes again and respond to this question: 'Who am I when no one is watching me?' If you did this sincerely, chances are the two answers didn't match entirely. For most people, there's a considerable gap between their public and private selves. This gap represents the split in the energy we carry – one version that we display to the world, and another we keep hidden, sometimes even from ourselves. In my coaching sessions, I often encourage participants to engage in this exercise. The range of responses is eye-opening. Here are a few that frequently surface: I am a go-getter vs. My life is full of struggles I don't care what others say vs. I feel depressed when criticized I am smart vs. I don't look good I am a winner vs. I haven't achieved anything noteworthy I'm always honest vs. I've deceived people multiple times Each of these examples reflects a dichotomy we live with, often unknowingly. While one side is what we aspire to be, the other is what we actually are in our most unfiltered moments. The problem arises when we invest more effort in protecting this façade than in addressing the misalignment. Let me tell you about Laddu Pinto, a young man from a small town with big dreams. Laddu would walk into any room full of confidence, charm, and ambition. People admired him for his drive and eloquence. But behind closed doors, Laddu was gripped by self-doubt. He would often stare at his ceiling late at night, questioning his worth, rethinking every word he had said, and fearing rejection. One day, Laddu joined one of my workshops where we discussed this very topic. He was deeply moved. 'Sir,' he confessed, 'I think I've been living two lives. One that earns applause and another that silently cries for help.' That was his turning point. Not because he suddenly became perfect, but because he acknowledged the disconnect. He began to work on becoming one person, not two. Today, Laddu is no longer at war with himself. He's not faking confidence, he's growing into it. You see, putting up a doctored version of yourself before the world might win you some moments of acceptance, perhaps even admiration. But if sustained too long, it chips away at your core. You begin to doubt even your genuine capabilities. The more you act like someone else, the further you move from your own potential. Ironically, true confidence doesn't come from success. It comes from authenticity. A person who wins by being fake may still feel empty. But someone who puts in an honest effort, however small the win, stands tall. This phenomenon shows up starkly during my student counselling sessions. Let me give you an example. A student terrified of mathematics was once brought to me by her parents. They were determined to 'fix' her fear by pushing her harder, comparing her to other kids who had 'overcome' the same challenge. I gently asked them to pause. 'What if we first listen to her?' I suggested. To everyone's surprise, the girl wasn't actually afraid of math, she was afraid of failing the expectations that came with it. She wanted to pursue art, but feared disappointing her parents. Her fear wasn't intellectual; it was emotional. When we allowed her to acknowledge her true self, not only did she feel lighter, but she also started exploring math with less resistance, because now it wasn't a battle to prove her worth. This is true in every walk of life. Whether you're a corporate leader, a homemaker, a student, or an entrepreneur, trying to be someone you're not is a heavy burden to carry. It's okay to evolve, but that evolution must begin from a place of honesty, not denial. The world may celebrate your polished version, but your inner peace depends on your raw truth. Ask yourself, what would it feel like to be the same person on the outside as you are on the inside? When you stop pretending, you begin living. Look into the inner mirror, and be what you see! Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email Disclaimer Views expressed above are the author's own.
Time of India
16-05-2025
- General
- Time of India
From excuse to excellence
'If you want to feed a person for a day give him a fish, if you wish to feed him for a lifetime, teach him how to fish.' Dr Ajit Varwandkar is a Career Psychologist and a Thought process Transformation Expert by profession. He is working on enhancing employability through career guidance and training. Just capacity development is not his motto; enabling youth is the intent. He started his career as a mechanical engineer and eventually went into clinical psychology, management and doctoral research. He is an avid trainer of Thought Engineering for corporate and educational institutes. He is a music lover and plays the Indian classical percussion instrument – Tabla. He is the author of the book Think Success and Be Successful. He loves to write inspirational blogs on self-improvement and career development issues. He believes in living life at zero complaint level and is always keen to focus on solutions than on excuses. LESS ... MORE What if I told you that everything you achieve in life, your happiness, relationships, and success is a direct reflection of your thoughts? How would you react? It's true—your thoughts are the architects of your reality. The quality of your life hinges not just on what you think, but also on what you choose to tolerate, and more importantly, on what you consciously decide not to think about. In my journey as a coach and observer of life, I've seen people who don't just live with excuses, they embrace them. These are the ones who settle into mediocrity, or worse, spiral down into chronic failure. Laddu Pinto was one such man. He had big dreams, but his life was stuck in a loop of poor choices and constant justifications. When I met Laddu, I made a simple suggestion: 'Stop tolerating substandard thinking.' That one piece of advice struck a deep chord in him. That very moment, he made a life-altering decision; he resolved that anything less than his dream destination was simply unacceptable. And friends, I want you to know that from that day forward, Laddu began a complete transformation. Within eight years, he built a life most only dream of. You see, success isn't an external event – it's an internal decision. Look around your social circle. You'll find numerous people who've overcome challenges simply through the power of elevated thinking. They didn't have more resources or better luck; they had better thoughts. And yet, what pains me is how many people quietly convince themselves that they're not meant for greatness. Deep down, they know they deserve more. But still, they settle. They create ceilings for themselves, and then decorate those ceilings with excuses. Let me share a truth I've learned: Most people don't fail because of a lack of talent or opportunity. They fail because they've accepted that they don't deserve more than what they already have. They shrink their dreams to fit their self-doubt. If you're one of those people who has ever settled for less – ask yourself, Why? The secret to breaking free lies in your willingness to demand more from yourself. Set non-negotiable standards. Adopt a discipline that becomes your DNA and not just a box you tick on your to-do list. Success is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice backed by commitment. I recall another story: a man who wanted to regain his fitness. He consulted a professional coach, paid the fees, got a perfect plan, and… nothing happened. Three months later, he looked the same, except for a lighter wallet. His problem wasn't the plan. It wasn't even a lack of effort. His real downfall was the way he spoke to himself. 'It's okay,' he'd say, 'Diseases are a part of life. I'm just not the kind of person who can be fit again.' That inner dialogue became his reality. This is not just his story, it's the story of countless entrepreneurs, dreamers, and students who want big things but don't believe they can achieve them. Their own minds stop them long before the world ever does. Friends, if you truly want to transform your life, don't start by changing your actions; rather, start by changing your thoughts. Don't just hope to succeed, decide that you will. And when you do, your journey will begin to align with your destiny. Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email Disclaimer Views expressed above are the author's own.
Time of India
02-05-2025
- General
- Time of India
Busy may be easy
'If you want to feed a person for a day give him a fish, if you wish to feed him for a lifetime, teach him how to fish.' Dr Ajit Varwandkar is a Career Psychologist and a Thought process Transformation Expert by profession. He is working on enhancing employability through career guidance and training. Just capacity development is not his motto; enabling youth is the intent. He started his career as a mechanical engineer and eventually went into clinical psychology, management and doctoral research. He is an avid trainer of Thought Engineering for corporate and educational institutes. He is a music lover and plays the Indian classical percussion instrument – Tabla. He is the author of the book Think Success and Be Successful. He loves to write inspirational blogs on self-improvement and career development issues. He believes in living life at zero complaint level and is always keen to focus on solutions than on excuses. LESS ... MORE Have you ever wrapped up your day with a sigh, feeling like it just slipped through your fingers? That unsettling sense of 'I was busy, but what did I really achieve?' is something many of us go through. Emails were answered, calls were made, tasks were checked off—but the inner satisfaction? Missing. This feeling of emptiness, despite being in constant motion, is more common than we admit. We confuse activity with achievement. We mistake movement for progress. But running on a treadmill won't take you forward, no matter how fast you go. Anyone can be busy. But not everyone is productive. True productivity is not measured by how packed your calendar looks or how exhausted you feel by bedtime. It's measured by how close your actions bring you to your goals, by how fulfilled you feel at the end of the day. Take a moment to reflect—are your actions aligned with your life's bigger purpose? Or are you simply checking boxes, running errands, and reacting to what the world throws at you? We often allow our days to be consumed by urgent but unimportant things. Attending every meeting, replying to every message, scrolling endlessly on social media, or getting caught up in minor tasks might make you feel useful, but it rarely makes a meaningful difference in the long run. The solution is not to do more, but to do what truly matters more. It's about living efficiently, not just breathing through a busy day. Imagine ending your day not just tired, but content. Imagine feeling a sense of calm satisfaction because your time was spent on things that added value to your life, your work, and the people around you. That's the beauty of a purpose-driven day. To achieve that, we must learn to prioritize. We must learn to say no to the noise and yes to what aligns with our values. Planning your day with intention, setting clear goals, and reviewing your progress honestly at the end of the day are simple but powerful habits. They can turn your ordinary days into meaningful milestones. It's also important to acknowledge that not every day will be perfect. There will be days when things don't go as planned, and that's okay. The goal isn't perfection—it's progress with purpose. Sometimes, all it takes is a few quiet minutes at the beginning of the day to ask yourself: What is the one thing I can do today that will make me proud when the day ends? The answer may not be grand or glamorous. It could be a heartfelt conversation, finishing a long-delayed task, helping someone in need, or simply taking time to care for your health. When you do that one thing, the day suddenly feels worthwhile. We must also understand that purpose is personal. What energizes one person may exhaust another. That's why comparing your productivity with others is not only unfair—it's unhelpful. Your journey, your pace, and your priorities are uniquely yours. In a world that constantly demands our attention, choosing where to place our energy is a powerful act. Instead of just existing through a blur of busy days, we can decide to live with awareness, alignment, and authenticity. And in that choice lies the real difference, not between being busy and being idle, but between being busy and being fulfilled. At the end of the day, don't just ask yourself how much you did. Ask whether what you did mattered. Did it make you feel better? Did it serve a purpose greater than just ticking off tasks? Did it add something of value to your life or someone else's? If you can say yes to even one of these questions, then your day was well spent. It's not about how much we fill our days with, but what we fill them with. Live not just by the clock, but by your calling. That's how ordinary days turn into an extraordinary life. Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email Disclaimer Views expressed above are the author's own.
