Latest news with #ToxicMasculinity
Yahoo
7 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
21 People Are Sharing The Dumbest Things They've Been Told That "Real Men" Don't Do, And The Toxic Masculinity Is Palpable
Toxic masculinity negatively impacts EVERYONE, even and perhaps ESPECIALLY the men who become afraid to openly enjoy the things they like. That's why most of us realize that if a person says "Real men don't..." the rest of the sentence is going to be an outdated, misogynistic trope... So when a Redditor recently asked, "What's the most stupid 'Real men don't' take you've ever heard?" Thousands of commenters shared the dumbest examples of things they've heard "real men" shouldn't do. Here are 21 of their most outrageous responses: If you've ever heard a WILD take on something "real men" shouldn't do, feel free to tell us about it using this anonymous form! 1."I have a friend in her 60s. Her husband is the wildest, most extreme version of a 'man' I have ever met." "Years ago, after she gave birth and brought their son home, her sister moved in to help out. She would make soups and salads for them for dinner. He would refuse to eat it, claiming soup wasn't real food, and salad was the food his food ate. He would throw tantrums until his recovering wife would get up and make him steak and potatoes. That is, until the sister decided to make 'Viking Soup.' She just made something up, but calling it 'Viking Soup' was the only way he would eat it." —u/Unusual_Form3267 Related: 2."Wearing sandals: When I worked in retail, I heard a child tell his mother how he just saw a man wearing sandals. The woman replied, 'Oh, honey, really, men don't wear sandals,' and looked at me like I'd agree with her." "I gave her a shrug and said, 'Well, Jesus wore sandals.' She quickly paid for her stuff and left." —u/sirjames82 3."An actual conversation I had (a long time ago) went like this: 'You can't go out to dinner with a male friend because people might think you are on a date. Now, three guys going out to eat is okay, but four guys, no way, because that could be a double date.'" —u/ricottma 4."I worked at a brewery, and one time, a guy absolutely loved a beer he tried. He told me several times that night how much he liked it. When I told him we sold it in cans, he was so excited." "When I grabbed the cans, his face dropped. He said, 'I can't drink that.' I looked at him, confused, and he pointed to the cans. He elaborated, 'There are pink flowers on it, I'm not drinking that.' This man deprived himself of something he absolutely loved because the label was a black background with neon flowers on it." —u/FreeIDecay 5."My mom once told me that my clothes smell too good and women would think I'm gay because guys' clothes aren't supposed to smell clean." —u/Chzburgers 6."A coworker told me, 'Real men don't eat bananas': I started eating even more bananas, carrots, and anything else phallic that I could get my hands on in front of this guy. I'd always ask him how he was doing in the middle of chomping down on them." "I work in construction so he thought his bullying comment would get agreement from the rest of the crew but it ended up backfiring on him as everyone began assuming everything reminded him of a penis." —u/poopybuttfacehead Related: 7."I was dating a woman for a little bit in college, everything was good, and I never noticed any red I saved enough money to buy a car. I was going to go to a dealership and buy a four-cylinder like a PT Cruiser or something with good gas mileage." "This woman flipped out, started calling me anti-gay slurs, and said, 'Real men only drive trucks. You aren't a man if you drive a four-banger.' She totally meant what she said. We eventually broke up, and a little while after that, she moved. She and her new boyfriend went to jail for ripping off a charter school." —u/DocumentEnough2414 8."'Real men don't drink through straws!'" —u/knitscones "When I was a kid I went to church with a backwards family who had a problem with 'sissy sticks' (drinking straws). They not only refused to use them, but also made sure to make a big deal out of it so everyone could know how manly they were. I still think about how dumb that sounded." —u/partymouthmike 9."'Real men don't read and only learn what they need to at school.'" "Cool, so being illiterate and having the education of a fifth grader is what manly men do? Learning about anything besides what is legally required in school is going to make you less of a man? When you pick up a geography book, does your sperm count immediately start dropping?" —u/2baverage 10."'Real men don't wipe their butts': There are an alarming number of men who don't wipe down there because they think 'it's gay.' I grieve for their poor partners stuck in these skidmark relationships." —u/Chairboy "I once met a guy at a party who said he'd never washed his ass with soap in the shower, only water, because washing down there was "gay". Safe to say I kept my distance at the party and kept pretending I'd smelled something vile when I got near him. I hope he got the message." —u/SleepyClassicist Related: 11."'Real men don't apologize.'" "What the actual f*ck? I had a friend for years, and we once got into an argument while drunk and called each other names. When we sobered up, he demanded we fight and wouldn't apologize because 'real men don't apologize.' I never spoke to him again; we went from really close friends to zero contact. It's been a decade now, and I still think about it." —u/Assimve 12."I live with my husband and his older brother. We all carry lighters, and they steal mine all the time. I finally figured out that if I buy pink ones, they won't steal them. They won't even USE them." "Because, apparently, 'REAL men won't use a pink lighter.'" —u/CLHD420 13."A man once told me that I needed to come and watch his kid for our date. (Also, what a way to tell me you're an entitled prick in one sentence.) Apparently, he forgot he had his kid that night, so I was supposed to drop everything to babysit. We had been dating for three weeks, but DID NOT have a date scheduled for that night. He told me, 'Real men do not babysit their kids.'" "Personally, I agree with him. Real men are FATHERS to their children, not avoidant babysitters. You created that kid; they're your responsibility. You're not babysitting, you're taking care of the child you brought into this world. The fact that he was willing to dump his kid on someone he knew for three weeks told me all I needed to know about him. He confused 'real man' with someone who happens to have a penis and thinks that makes the rest of their BS okay. I was done with him soon after that." —u/TangledUpPuppeteer 14."Once, I was using hand sanitizer before eating lunch after working outside all day. I offered a co-worker some, and he said, 'No, I'm good. I'm a real man.'" "He said the same thing when I offered him a spot under my umbrella when it was raining really hard." —u/The_Cars93 15."'Real men don't pee sitting down.'" "The hell we don't. If I get up groggy in the middle of the night, and don't want to pee on the floor in the dark, I'm having a seat." —u/No_Spring_1090 16."When I hear 'Real men don't drink fruity cocktails,' I'm like, 'Okay, buddy, drink your crappy cheap beer, and while you're at it make sure you deprive yourself of any other little joys in your life so everyone knows you're definitely a man.'" "If someone is so worried about how others perceive them that they change what they eat, drink, and even how they dress to ensure everyone knows they're a man, they're not confident in themselves.'" —u/Nova_Badger Related: 17."Real men don't cry". "My significant other lost his childhood friend a few months ago. I can still see that six-foot-tall guy standing in the door, shaking with quivering lips and fighting back his tears because 'Men don't cry and have to be strong.' I told him, 'Not for me, honey. You're my partner. You're allowed to be sad, disheartened, and to show weakness. I'll never think less of you because you grieve the loss of someone you loved.'" —u/Life_Doubt4829 18."I'm a male teacher. In college, one of my male professors went on a tirade about male teachers who dressed up on school spirit days because 'real men don't wear costumes.'" "We're doing it for the kids, not for us. It's supposed to be silly. It's a nice break for them to have some silliness. I'm not surprised he stopped teaching and went into higher education instead." —u/Bienvillion 19."'Real men don't wear protection.' I'm a mechanical engineer. The number of people I've seen maimed and dead is large. Trust me, you don't look manly when we scrape you off a machine. You just look unskilled and dead." —u/C03x "This can also apply to the other kind of 'protection' that a lot of 'real men' who think 'raw' sex is better refuse to use." —u/Strange_Dog6483 20."When I was a kid, I was told 'Real men don't use bandages.' Now I have a bad habit of not being careful with fresh wounds. It hasn't come back to bite me yet, but I have to be very conscious of cleaning them, or I will just not remember because it wasn't instilled in me from a young age." —u/MathTutorAndCook "Back when my friends and I were teenagers, I had a cut on my palm and kept telling them that I needed to find a pharmacy. At one point, one of them told me not to be such a wimp, to which I replied, 'I'm not, it's just really uncomfortable.'" —u/DouViction 21."The absolute dumbest 'Real men don't' I've heard is that 'Real men don't do housework/women's work' because it's 'unimportant.'" "These same people would proceed to 'explain' that 'real men' are born to do big things, yet they didn't even know how to feed themselves, let alone do 'big things.' The fact that they had to rely on women to get anything done, even simple things, and then proceed to look down on them is the dumbest thing a man could ever do." —u/tracyvu89 Did any of these examples surprise you? What is the dumbest thing you've ever been told "real men" don't do? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below! Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds:
Vox
02-03-2025
- Politics
- Vox
Andrew Tate, the accused human trafficker with Trump's support, returns to the US
Andrew Tate made his name as a misogynist podcast star, but has more recently been known as an alleged rapist and human trafficker as he awaits criminal trial in Romania with his brother Tristan. Last week, the Financial Times reported that the Trump administration, through special envoy Richard Grenell, had tried to pressure the Romanian government to lift travel restrictions on the brothers. On Thursday, the Associated Press reported that Romanian authorities had lifted the travel restrictions on the brothers and that the Tates had flown to the United States. Andrew Tate, whose online course 'Hustler's University' morphed into a platform with nearly a million users, became a powder keg among far-right media influencers in the early 2020s due to his explicitly sexist worldview and its profound influence over millions of teen boys and young men. This latest high-profile turn in Tate's ongoing legal saga has again brought the horrifying allegations against him to the forefront — this time with apparent approval from the US government. It's also a reminder of the cultural reach of the so-called manosphere that Tate helped popularize. Tate's rise started with a successful kickboxing career, was followed by his removal from the British version of Big Brother , and culminated in a hugely popular podcast that anointed him the 'King of Toxic Masculinity.' As Rebecca Jennings explained for Vox in 2022, his 'inflammatory diatribes against women, whom he compares to property' became viral fodder on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. He was born in the US, raised in the UK, but now lives in Romania — first moving there in part because, he said, 'the rape laws are more lenient,' but has stayed since; following his arrest, he has largely not been allowed to leave the country. Tate helped bring to mainstream concerns about the 'manosphere,' the term for the internet's loose network of right-wing male influencers and their associated communities. Early on, Tate seemed to be such an obviously extremist node of the manosphere that he should be, as Jennings wrote, easy to ignore. But Tate's confident, blatant misogyny proved wildly popular: His dictums, which ranged from bragging about never having read a book to flaunting an aggressive emotional and physical dominance over women, seemed to enthrall boys and men who admired him for his flashy lifestyle, vaunted wealth, and commitment to the bit. Tate's maxims swept across teen culture, generating horror stories from parents and teachers about his seemingly pervasive and pernicious influence. Originally, Tate presented his schtick as pure fiction, a deliberately exaggerated regressive persona. It soon appeared that was far from the case, as allegations against Tate and his brother began mounting. Romanian officials have pursued Andrew and Tristan Tate since April 2022, when they first raided one of the pair's mansions after receiving a tip that the Tates had allegedly abducted a woman and were holding her there against her will. The following year, the brothers and two Romanian accomplices were indicted on charges of rape, forming a criminal gang, and human trafficking. Authorities alleged that Andrew and Tristan Tate had trafficked seven women from the US and the UK to Romania by grooming them and subjecting them to physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. (The brothers promptly responded with a civil suit against two of their alleged victims.) In early 2024, the two faced new UK allegations of human trafficking, stemming from an investigation launched more than a decade prior. Then, in August, the Tates faced additional charges of human trafficking after police raided their estate again and detained six people. The brothers have also faced multiple civil lawsuits filed by alleged victims. One such woman recently filed a suit against them in Florida, claiming they defamed her after she agreed to be a witness in the Romanian criminal trial. Despite the severity and breadth of the charges against them, things have been going fairly well for the Tates. Last month, Andrew Tate was released from house arrest, though he and his brother are still not allowed to leave Romania and are under court supervision. This followed the return of their luxury assets in October, and a November appeals court ruling that major evidence in the first Romanian criminal case, including testimony from alleged victims, was inadmissible. A judge, citing flaws in the indictment, sent the case back to prosecutors for revision. This left the case on shaky ground — and that was before the American government came calling. Romania's foreign minister, Emil Hurezeanu, dismissed his conversation last week with Grenell, which took place briefly during the Munich Security Conference, as 'just a repeat of a known stance.' Grenell's position as 'special missions envoy' seems to be an informal one based mainly on his status as a longtime Trump loyalist and his previous role as ambassador to Germany, but he's made his interest in the Tate brothers public — and explicitly political. On February 3, before the trip to Munich, Grenell quote-tweeted a reply to Tristan Tate on X and alleged that Romania had used funds from the beleaguered USAID agency to target conservatives, saying the program was 'weaponized against people and politicians who weren't woke.' There appears to be no factual basis for this claim, but it bolsters the Tates' longtime argument that they are the victims of a political witch hunt. 'I support the Tate brothers as evident by my publicly available tweets,' Grenell told the Financial Times. According to a statement issued by Romanian officials to the AP, the brothers remain under Romanian judicial control while they await trial. The American government's role in the lifted travel ban is unclear. Andrew and Tristan Tate now face three different criminal cases and multiple civil lawsuits in different countries, most for extremely serious allegations of violence and sexual abuse against women. Their most expansive alleged crime, human trafficking, became part of Andrew Tate's online brand. He actually sold an online course to his followers on how to do it, what he called the 'Pimping Hoes Degree.' Experts say that the techniques Tate taught in this course and elsewhere could be seen as a textbook for how to engage in literal, criminal human trafficking — and the messages Tate espouses across the manosphere are replete with boasting about violence towards women, sexual assault, grooming underage girls, and emotional abuse. The 'Andrew Tate effect' on young men has been so profound that counteracting it has become a mission across multiple public service sectors, from education to public health. Researchers in Sweden found that boys exposed to manosphere influencers were more likely to dehumanize women, while researchers in Australia found 'widespread experience of sexual harassment, sexism, and misogyny perpetrated by boys towards women teachers, and the ominous presence of Andrew Tate shaping their behaviour.' Concerns about Tate encompass real concerns about public safety, and whether boys who have prolonged exposure to him could become more aggressive toward the women around them. At the same time, Tate and others in the manosphere have been credited with helping swing the 2024 US election resoundingly for Trump among young men. Tate is already a manifestation of extreme misogyny, the worst of what the manosphere has wrought — and his cultural, and now political, elevation is part of a larger, grimmer regression we are perhaps only just at the beginning of.
