Latest news with #agegap
Irish Times
13 hours ago
- General
- Irish Times
The Macron shove is not a sign of a very French love story, but something more disturbing
The moment last Monday evening when aeroplane doors opened at Hanoi airport to reveal the French president being shoved in the face by his wife was not the first red flag in their relationship. The first red flag was the fact that, when they met, Emmanuel Macron was a 15-year-old schoolboy, and Brigitte a 39-year-old drama teacher directing a school production. For all they have waxed lyrical in interviews since about the special nature of their love ('when you're in love, you don't choose,' he says; 'little by little, I became completely subjugated by the intelligence of this young man,' she gushes); for all the media obligingly dance around their troubling origin story (note how often reports of this period in their lives refer to him not as a child but as 'the future president' and to her as his 'childhood sweetheart'); this was no mere age gap relationship, and only one of them was a child. Now he is 47 and she is 72, the appropriate response may well be to shrug and say good on them both. But back when they met in 1993, she was an adult woman, and he was a boy. If a 15-year-old girl enters a sexual relationship with a teacher 25 years her senior, the usual and correct response is outrage. When the genders are reversed, it's a very French love story. READ MORE But the story of how the Macrons met has always seemed to inspire an uncharacteristic reticence in the media – particularly the kind of outlets that usually relish nothing more than deconstructing every aspect of a first lady's existence. This conspiracy of coyness may be why the incident on the tarmac in Vietnam earlier this week was met with such an odd response. Sure, the split second of slightly blurred footage immediately went around the world and was thoroughly dissected: the force with which she shoved him in the face, using both of her hands. The way his head jerks back. His look of shock. The speed at which he recovered his composure and waved to the cameras. Her refusal to take his arm going down the aeroplane steps. Yet, for all the coverage, the reaction was weirdly muted. Much commentary opted for the strained, bemused tone you might use should you find yourself trapped at an uncomfortable dinner with a warring couple. The moment when aeroplane doors opened at Hanoi airport to reveal the French president being shoved in the face by his wife was not the first red flag in their relationship. The Elysée Palace responded at first by suggesting the video was a Russian deepfake, and then spun it as a 'moment of closeness', the couple 'decompressing'. Macron himself said they were 'bickering, or rather joking': 'The video becomes a sort of geoplanetary catastrophe. In the world we live in, we don't have a lot of time to lose. This is all a bit of nonsense,' he said, demonstrating himself to be not averse to spouting geoplanetary nonsense of his own. Those who thought otherwise were 'crazies', 'nuts' and clearly had 'sugar rushing to their heads'. So that's settled. Nothing to see here. Except, of course, anyone with a smartphone and a social media account did see it. And yet, just as they have always done where the Macrons are concerned, the media seemed to largely acquiesce to being told that they did not see what they saw. Politico characterised it a 'spat'. The New York Times led with Macron's dismissal of it as 'nonsense'. USA Today went with a translation of his words as 'horsing around'. The Sun called it 'embarrassing'. One commentator decided that it was not 'just a shove [but] a symbol, a barometer of a world out of sorts, reflexively violent, perpetually on edge'. Macron is, of course, entitled to his privacy and to our compassion – I can't imagine anyone looking at footage and not being struck, above all, by his humanity. But he is also a public figure, and his willingness to brush off a moment of aggressive physical contact from an intimate partner is, at best, a missed opportunity to address the stigma surrounding domestic abuse. [ Emmanuel Macron plays down video of shove from wife: 'It's nonsense' Opens in new window ] At worst, it sends a harmful message about what men are supposed to quietly put up with. The obvious question – and yet only a handful asked it – was whether we would be so willing to chalk this up as a moment of mild embarrassment if he was a woman and she was a man. Of course we wouldn't. When advertising mogul Charles Saatchi was photographed grabbing his then wife Nigella Lawson by the throat in a London restaurant in 2013, the reaction was swift and unequivocal. It amounted to (with a handful of notable exceptions, mostly involving older men in the media with social connections to Saatchi) horror and revulsion. The images were more graphic and left little room for ambiguity, but the context was similar: an unguarded moment that hinted at something disturbing beneath the glossy surface of the lives of an apparently happy power couple. Saatchi's first reaction was that it was a 'playful tiff' ; Lawson's was to pack up and leave with her children. The editor of the Sunday People, which first published the images, later explained the rationale for it: 'Our debate kept coming back to what was going on behind closed doors if Saatchi was able to behave like this in public. We concluded that there was a genuine public interest ... We couldn't think of any circumstances in which his behaviour could be justified.' [ The pictures of Charles Saatchi and Nigella Lawson were disturbing. But so too was the public rush to judgment Opens in new window ] Those same considerations ought to apply here – yet many commentators seem to have no trouble coming up with circumstances to justify Brigitte Macron's behaviour. Perhaps it's just that many of us are incapable of reconciling the idea that a man in a position of power can also be someone vulnerable to the possibility of domestic abuse. There are well-known reasons men underreport domestic violence – among them is the fear they won't be taken seriously. Based on events this week, they're probably right.
The Sun
3 days ago
- General
- The Sun
I have great sex with lover but she's gone cold on me – is our huge age gap to blame?
DEAR DEIDRE: THE woman I've fallen for seemed keen at first, but now she's gone cold on me and I fear it's the big age gap between us. I was excited to start a relationship with her, especially after we slept together. Now I feel like a fool. I'm a divorced 58-year-old man and she's 20 years younger. She is single and has a teenage son. I met her at a friend's party and was instantly smitten. To my surprise, she flirted with me and later asked for my number. We messaged for a couple of weeks with lots of sexy chat. Then I took her out for dinner and we had a wonderful evening. She came back to my house and we had a passionate session of foreplay on the sofa. After that, we met several times, but always at my place. She didn't want to go anywhere public. The one time I did manage to persuade her to come out, to the theatre, it felt like she was walking ten paces in front of me all night. I now think she was embarrassed about being seen with an old man. We did have sex a few times — which was passionate and fulfilling for both of us — yet she would never stay over. When I asked what was going on, she said her son wasn't happy about us seeing each other and she had to respect that. Cheating and can you get over it Since then, she's messaged less and less. It feels like she's cooled. The problem is, I've realised I'm in love with her. Have I wasted my time? DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound as if you would be better off accepting that this relationship isn't going to progress. It is possible she really did like you at first and wanted to develop something with you. But her son is a teenager, and she has clearly decided, rightly, that his needs must come first. It might not be your age that's the problem. He could have some personal issues, or perhaps he's upset about her break-up with his dad and can't cope with her having a boyfriend. It is also possible she has simply changed her mind about you. I know this isn't what you want to hear, as you clearly care for her. But you can't change someone else's feelings or circumstances. My support pack, Mending A Broken Heart, should help you move forward. I CAN'T MAKE FRIENDS DUE TO CRIPPLING SHYNESS DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I see other people having normal relationships and friendships, it makes me feel so left out and jealous. I'm sick of being lonely, but I'm pathologically shy and don't know how to change. Although I have a good job in IT, I've never had any real friends or a girlfriend. I'm now 32. I find talking to people painful, so I avoid it. People think I'm rude or stand-offish and I give up trying. While I like my own company, I'm tired of always being alone. I envy other people who go out and have fun together. I've had acquaintances, but nobody I could call a real friend. And when girls are near, I turn red and can't speak to them. My family says the problem is that I'm too self-conscious and should stop overthinking it. They tell me to be myself. But it's not that easy. What can I do? DEIDRE SAYS: The fact you have a job and acquaintances shows you can cope around other people. Presumably, you passed an interview and have to communicate at work. I think your family is right – you are overthinking things. My support pack, Raising Self-esteem, should help. Severe shyness can be a medical problem. It is worth talking to your GP, as there may be medication or therapy that can help. Also read my support pack, Shyness And Social Anxiety. Practise talking to people in the mirror. Asking lots of questions is a good start. SON'S ANXIETY IS ALL MY FAULT DEAR DEIDRE: MY son suffers from panic attacks and terrible anxiety – and it's all my fault because I didn't leave his horrible dad sooner. I feel so guilty that I didn't protect him and now I want to make everything better. But I don't know how to. I'm a 44-year-old divorced mother with a boy aged 19 and a girl of 17. My ex-husband wasn't ready to be a father when I got pregnant with our son, and as a result he was distant with him. He was always a sensitive, sickly child, and my ex-husband treated him like he wasn't good enough. From his early teens, our boy developed anxiety, which only seems to get worse. He is convinced bad things will happen, is a hypochondriac – the slightest pain must be cancer – and he can't hold down a job. He dropped out of school because he couldn't get through his exams. He finds it very difficult to sleep, he's frightened of his vivid nightmares and often has the most debilitating panic attacks, where he can't breathe. All I want is for him to be happy. I know I should have left his dad when he was little, but I was stupidly in love and didn't realise the long-term effect of his behaviour. DEIDRE SAYS: Please don't blame yourself. Your son's anxiety disorder is not your fault and may have developed regardless. Leaving a spouse is never easy. You love your son and want to do what's best for him. You can help him to seek help and show him you are there for him. Encourage him to see his GP, who can refer him for cognitive behavioural therapy, which is highly effective in dealing with anxiety disorders. Keep talking to him and reassuring him. My support packs Coping With Panic Attacks and Living With Anxiety contain useful information and sources of help. HE JUST LAUGHS IF I TELL HIM TO LEAVE DEAR DEIDRE: I'M trapped in a relationship with a man who laughs when I ask him to leave. After three years together, I've realised he is just using me for my flat and my money. I'm 36 and he's 42. When we first met, he was charming, kind and so attentive. I was sure he was the love of my life. He quickly moved in with me, and that's when everything changed. The charm went and he became selfish and started lying. I'm pretty sure he's cheating with other women. He's certainly not interested in sex with me any more, saying I've put on weight. Although we earn the same, he spends all his money on treats for himself, leaving me to buy food and pay the mortgage plus all the bills. I've told him I'm not happy and asked him to leave, but he laughed in my face. I don't know what to do. Please help. DEIDRE SAYS: So often, people like this with an unreasonably high sense of their own importance are charming at first. That's how they manipulate people. Now he's shown his true colours. Your relationship sounds abusive and you're right to want to end it. See my support pack, Abusive Partner, for help. As you own the flat and are paying the mortgage, he has no legal right to stay. Seek legal advice on how to get him out.
Independent Singapore
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Independent Singapore
75-year-old TVB actress Nancy Sit opens up on love and 17-year gap with younger partner
HONG KONG: Back in 2018, Hong Kong actress Nancy Sit caused a buzz. She told everyone that she had been in a relationship for twelve years with someone 17 years younger than she was, as reported by The Star. Photo: Instagram/Nancy Sit The 75-year-old actress once had doubts about their age gap, which eventually led them to split, according to Lianhe Zaobao. Reignited their romance The TVB actress and her partner, Andy, have reignited their May-December romance, suggesting their romance isn't over yet. Just recently, Sit had a chat with Hong Kong media figure Stephen Chan, and during their conversation, she sent a sweet message to Andy, saying something like, 'I really hope our love lasts forever.' Sit also mentioned that she was hesitant when Andy first showed his feelings for her. She was worried that maybe his feelings wouldn't last. She went on to say how she feels cherished by Andy. She pointed out that he could probably be with many other people, but he's chosen to treat her incredibly well for all this time they've been together. She also got a bit more serious, admitting that the age difference weighs on her mind. She said it makes her think about the fact that she might pass away before him. She even talked to her oldest daughter about it, who gave her some comforting advice, basically telling her not to worry so much and to just enjoy the happiness they have right now. No intention of marriage Sit, who is well-known for her parts in dramas like A Kindred Spirit (1999), Return of the Cuckoo (2000), and Virtues of Harmony (2001), has no intention of getting married again despite her affections for Andy since she does not want to deal with the hassles of another divorce. She also shared a bit about her history, explaining that her marriage to the rich businessman Shek Bo Hing ended quite a while ago, back in 1995, and that she has two daughters and a son from that time. She happily shared that her kids have already welcomed Andy into the family, and he even joins them when they go on trips together. Expressing her deep appreciation for Andy's devotion, Sit remarked that finding such a sweet and loving connection at this stage of her life felt like a truly rare and special gift. Wonderful gift She also said to Andy, 'Whenever things get tough for me, you're always right there by my side, sharing the load. Meeting you has been such a wonderful gift in my life. I really hope we can keep our love as strong and happy as it is now.' Nancy Sit Ka-yin, whose Chinese name is 薛家燕, was born in Hong Kong on March 30, 1950. She's a respected actress and singer who's been in the business for many years. Nancy Sit began her career as a child actress at nine. She quickly became a popular teen idol in the 1960s, alongside other notable figures like Connie Chan Po-chu and Josephine Siao. During this period, she released numerous albums featuring 'Hala-Hala (Go-Go)' style music, which included both covers of Western hits (some in English) and Chinese songs. She also mentored Anita Mui, who later became a superstar in Hong Kong. See also Moses Chan makes SGD5.2 million a year at TVB
News.com.au
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Family breaks silence on music mogul David Geffen's ex-husband's secretive past
Shocking new details about David Geffen's estranged husband, David Armstrong, have been revealed by his family and ex-girlfriend. The former go-go dancer's adoptive father, Patrick Armstrong, claims he learned about his son's forthcoming divorce from the billionaire businessman, 82, from the media. 'I don't know where he (David) is, or what the situation is, first I heard about it (was) one of my sons saw it on TV,' he told the Daily Mail. 'We kinda didn't even know about the marriage. But 50 years is a big age gap,' Patrick, 68, added of the couple's huge age difference. 'I don't know how you expect it to work out. My soon-to-be former son-in-law is older than me.' Patrick told the outlet that he wasn't invited to David and the film producer's 2023 nuptials and that he last saw his son two years ago at a family reunion. At the time, however, the 32-year-old allegedly didn't mention he had gotten married. 'For some reason, I Googled his (my son's) name, and that's when it came up,' Patrick shared. 'I never expected I could Google one of my kids' names and have them show up.' Patrick revealed that he had never met Geffen, but also looked him up on the internet. 'Some of the stuff I looked up, it kind of sounds like Geffen is a little overbearing. But you can't believe everything you read. I can't really have an opinion of him.' Patrick told the Daily Mail that he allegedly had to go through Geffen's business secretary to contact his son by phone and then 'David (would) get back to us.' Though he said David regularly kept in touch with his older sisters, Patrick claimed his son 'got quiet' a few months ago. Patrick — who adopted David and 13 other kids with his wife after they had two biological kids — said the model's siblings 'were happy' for his marriage. 'Evidently, it looks like it didn't work out, which would have been my thing at the beginning, because it's too big an age difference,' he said. 'I don't know how you can fall for someone 50 years older than you, because you don't even have the same stuff in common, stuff you grew up with.' Patrick admitted that he was 'surprised' his son even got with Geffen, noting that David 'didn't seem to be interested in boys.' The dad of 16 told Daily Mail he's unsure if David will reach out amid the divorce. 'We're just kind of waiting now to see if he mentions it, bring it up on his own terms,' he explained. David's ex-girlfriend also shared some insight into their past. The woman, who remains anonymous, told the outlet that she believes David's romance with Geffen was 'kind of typical.' 'I just think he got what he was looking for. He cared a lot about the money, in my eyes. He always wanted to become rich and famous,' she claimed. 'He wanted the name brand stuff — the cologne, the sunglasses, the shoes. He wanted to be a public figure. He had big dreams,' David's ex alleged. The woman said she was surprised by news of the divorce because there was 'quite an age gap.' 'I sure as hell am not marrying someone 50-60 years older than me, so I can watch them die,' she shared, adding that she was 'proud' of Geffen for divorcing David before he passed away to prevent him from getting his 'entire (fortune).' Earlier this month, TMZ reported that the record company founder, who has a net worth of more than $9 billion ($A14bn), filed for divorce from David after two years of marriage — with no prenuptial agreement in place. Geffen cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split and has hired attorney Laura Wasser to represent him in the split. Though Geffen has amassed his wealth through founding several record companies, including Asylum Records, DreamWorks Records, DGC Records and Geffen Records, he has been retired for 15 years and most of his income now consists of equities and stocks. TMZ reported that California law states dividends from stocks are separate property, which means David may not get much in the divorce.
The Sun
7 days ago
- General
- The Sun
I'm confused by frisky widow twice my age – the sex is great but could a relationship work?
DEAR DEIDRE: ONE of my painting and decorating customers has made it clear that she wants more than my handyman skills. I'm a single man aged 24 and this is a sticky situation. A few months ago, I was asked to go round and quote for painting a huge, five-bedroom house. I expected to meet a family, but it was just a middle-aged woman living alone. Over coffee, she told me her husband had died a few years ago. She is 47 but has a great body, which was easy to see through her skin-tight gym gear. I accepted the job and got started. She was at home every day and kindly bringing me tea and biscuits every few hours. Then her flirting began to ramp up. One day my radio was playing a Spice Girls song, and she came into the room and started doing a provocative dance. I nearly fell off my ladder. That night as I was leaving, she opened a bottle of wine and asked me to share it. Over a glass, she told me she had been lonely in the house by herself, and enjoyed my company. Dear Deidre After Dark- Understanding open relationships As she said this, she put her hand on my leg, making her intentions very clear. We ended up on my dust sheet, having fast, passionate sex. She was exciting and adventurous and taught me more than a few new moves. I was back the following week finishing the house, and she clearly wanted a replay. But I'm unsure what to do. I really like her — she's just my type, sexy and passionate, and seems genuinely kind. But there's a 23-year age gap, Could this relationship work, or is she just using me to fix her loneliness? DEIDRE SAYS: Relationships with an age gap can work out well, as long as you want the same things and share a similar outlook. There is no reason why an older woman and a younger man couldn't enjoy a fun, passionate fling. But difficulties could arise later down the line, if you decided you wanted a family. Women over 45 can have children, but it can be more difficult and has a higher risk of complications. I suggest you read my support pack Age-Gap Concerns. It will give you more information on the possible problems you might face together. The sensible thing to do would be to discuss all of this with her – over a cuppa, not a Cabernet – and find out what she's looking for. And then be honest (with yourself, and her) about whether that is going to work for you. TERRIFIED BY MY ADDICT SON'S RAGES DEAR DEIDRE: I AM frightened of my teenage son. His drug addiction makes him have wild, violent rages and an explosive temper. He has wrecked his bedroom several times, kicked over my TV and even smashed the windscreen of my car. He's 19. I don't blame him. I think it's my fault he turned out this way. His father and I met when I was just 18. I got pregnant quickly. Although I tried to make a go of things as a family, my ex was rough and had a bad temper so I eventually fled with my son. From then on, I gave my son everything I could, and stopped dating to focus on him. When he was 14, he made some bad friends at school and began taking drugs. He's been addicted ever since. When he's not using, he loses control of his temper. He shouts and swears at me. He has even threatened my old, unwell mum. It's all so loud that I'm terrified the neighbours must hear what's going on. In these rages, he screams at me that I messed up his life by leaving his father. When he's calm, he's the most kind, loving person you will ever meet. But his rages are frightening. How do I deal with the awful situation I put him in? DEIDRE SAYS: None of this is your fault. Your ex was a violent, dangerous man – you had no choice but to leave. Since then, you have given your son everything you could, even putting your romantic life on hold so you could concentrate on raising him. His drug problem is also not your fault. It is likely the drugs have contributed to his violent rages, but you can't let this situation continue. First things first. You are in danger. The next time your son threatens you or you feel scared by his anger, call the police. Also, look for ongoing support and advice to help you turn this situation around before you or your son do something that can't be fixed. I would urge you to contact Pegs ( It offers free support to any parent or carer suffering from abuse from a child, whether that is physical, emotional, psychological, financial or sexual. You might also find it helpful to contact Adfam, a charity set up to help families who are affected by drug abuse ( You can also get advice on your son's drug use from your GP. SEX-HELP CLINIC DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE only just turned 30, I'm pretty and I keep myself in shape, so why does my husband never want to have sex with me? He's 37 and we have been together for five years. We were in a long-distance relationship to begin with, so when we saw each other every weekend, sparks flew and we would make love for hours at a time. Throughout the week we would exchange flirty messages, teasing each other with descriptions of what we would do on our next date together. A year later, I got pregnant with our son and the excuses started. He didn't feel comfortable getting passionate while I was pregnant, then the baby was in our room, then he was tired. He even made an excuse on our wedding night. Since then, we have had sex about once every two months. When I talk to him about how I feel, he promises to change. But he never does. I have convinced myself he is gay because I don't know why else he wouldn't want to sleep with me. I asked him, but he strongly denied it. He says he still fancies me and loves me very much, but I need that intimacy. I can't go through life in a sexless marriage. I'm at breaking point. DEIDRE SAYS: It's all very well for him to say he fancies you and loves you, but his words don't match his actions. Talk to him once more – tell him you're worried and want to regain the closeness you had at the beginning. Explain you feel sad that you're both missing out on a lot of fun. If you express it lovingly – being clear how much you care about him, how sexy you find him, and how much you'd love to express your feelings in bed – he will hopefully open up about any worries or issues that might be curbing his libido. He might be stressed about work, have financial worries or be battling depression. You deserve a good sex life, and he knows this, but he also needs to know you've had enough. Please read my support pack Reviving A Man's Sex Drive to give you more ideas and techniques. CAN'T GIVE UP THE BOOZE DEAR DEIDRE: ALCOHOL made me lose sight of what's important in life. Now I'm desperate to quit but I keep failing. I'm 22. I started drinking six years ago when I kept having fights with my dad. I left home at 18 and my stress reduced, but I didn't manage to cut down on the drinking. My friends are getting on with their lives – going to college and starting interesting jobs – but I am just wasting my days away getting drunk. I look and feel older than I should, and I have lost all my self-esteem. Please tell me how to become a better version of myself. Instead of pursuing their dreams and ambitions, they pursue the numbness of being drunk. It's good that you've realised this at 22. There's still lots of time to turn your life around. Talk to your GP as they might be able to refer you to nearby support. You can also find help on the NHS website, at GRANDSON FEARS DEAR DEIDRE: MY grandson needs to go to a school for autistic children because I fear he will struggle in mainstream education. He's nearly five, but still non-verbal. He can't dress himself as yet or tell when he needs the toilet. My daughter has applied for his Reception year school place. There's a space on the form where we can give our reasons why he should be sent to a school for autistic children, but we need guidance on what to write. Are there any support groups that might be able to help us with this? DEIDRE SAYS: I do understand your concerns. Luckily, there is a lot of support available. Special Needs Jungle ( has resources to help parents navigate the SEND system, including a whole section on school applications. You can also find a lot of information about school applications through And check out the education section of the Child Law Advice website (
