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Forbes
19-05-2025
- General
- Forbes
Mel Robbins And The Power Of Letting Go
Power is often confused with control. The instinct to manage outcomes, influence how others behave, and keep everything in place can easily be mistaken for strength. But real power, Mel Robbins suggests, may begin with the choice to stop carrying what was never ours to hold in the first place. That idea sits at the center of The Let Them Theory, the latest book from the bestselling author and podcast host known for turning personal challenge into practical frameworks with wide appeal. Co-written with her daughter Schuyler, the book offers a kind of radical simplicity. Let people feel what they feel. Let them judge, misunderstand, or disagree. The point isn't detachment but learning how not to lose yourself in the process of managing someone else. At 56, Robbins describes herself as being in a 'peak moment,' a result, she says, of stepping back from what no longer serves her. She first gained wide recognition with her 2017 book The 5 Second Rule, based on a behavioral technique she developed during what she has called her 'rock bottom' in her 40s, a period marked by both personal and financial crisis. That book went on to sell millions of copies and established her as a voice of action, helping people disrupt hesitation and move forward. With The Let Them Theory, Robbins turns her attention to a different kind of challenge, examining the weight we carry out of habit and asking what it means to release what was never ours to manage, not by force but by choice. 'This isn't about letting go,' said Robbins in a recent Forbes interview. 'I've never been able to let anything go. But when you say, 'let them,' you're not giving in. You're opting out of the noise. You're stepping back into your own life.' That clarity has shaped much of Robbins' appeal. A former attorney and CNN legal analyst, she didn't come up through academic theory or clinical training. Her reach came through candor, naming the emotions people navigate every day but rarely voice from fear to inertia, shame and resentment. Her tools caught on not because they were novel, but because they were usable. The 'let them' message reflects a turn in her approach, shifting from tactical advice to a broader rethinking of where we invest our energy and why. The book took shape during the pandemic, as Robbins began to examine long-entrenched habits of overexplaining, overfunctioning, and absorbing what didn't belong to her. Writing with her daughter made the process more personal and, at times, more charged. 'We'd argue, storm off, come back, and keep writing,' Robbins said. 'But that tension made the book better. It made it honest.' That honesty is part of what's resonating. 'I've been the overbearing mom. The jealous friend. The fixer,' she said. 'This book is about what happens when you finally stop trying to be all of those things.' Since its release, 'let them' has become cultural shorthand, passed through group chats, executive teams, wellness circles, and everyday conversations. It hasn't spread as a trend, but as a kind of quiet permission to stop absorbing other people's reactions and to direct your energy with greater intention. Part of its power lies in how deeply Robbins' message already resonates. What sets her apart isn't just the scale of her audience, but the depth of connection she creates. Her videos have been watched billions of times, her books have topped bestseller lists, and her self-produced podcast consistently ranks as the most downloaded education show across major platforms. When Oprah Winfrey received an early copy, she read it cover to cover, marked it with dozens of tabs, and called it 'generation-defining.' For Robbins, it was a surreal moment, but also a form of recognition. 'I realized this wasn't just a book,' she says. 'It was a language people didn't know they needed.' 'You're not letting people off the hook,' explains Robbins. 'You're letting yourself off the hook. You stop trying to fix, manage, prove. And you start protecting your peace.' For Robbins, clarity over control is at the heart of power. 'When your thoughts, emotions, and actions are aligned with your values,' she says, 'that's when you feel strongest. It's not about doing more. It's about being more honest. More grounded. More yourself.' The Let Them Theory doesn't offer a system or a solution. It offers something steadier—a return to what's yours, and a release of what isn't. In a culture that equates busyness with value and burnout with success, Robbins is making a different case built not on striving, but on knowing when to stop. Watch the full Mel Robbins interview and more from the Power Women Profiles series here.
Forbes
08-05-2025
- Health
- Forbes
Are Your Attachments Crowding Out Your Aspirations?
. Let's face it, we live in a polarized, cynical world that leaves many people yearning for something better. They carry a nagging sense of unease, while not being confident about what 'something better' might look like. Award-winning psychologist and bestselling author Bob Rosen introduces a simple approach to mental freedom. He explains it in his new book DETACH: Ditch Your Baggage to Live a More Fulfilling Life. Rosen says people can become better versions of themselves by letting go of attachments that may be holding them back—attachments to the past, the future, control, perfection, success, pleasure, and other things that seem harmless until the attachment becomes all-consuming. So, how does one know when an attachment has become a negative thing? 'Healthy attachments with friends and family provide security and validation, while unhealthy ones act as mental baggage, keeping us stuck in dysfunctional patterns,' Rosen says. 'It's normal to reflect on past and future, but problems arise when we dwell on negative memories or excessive worries.' A natural follow-up question is then, how do the attachments Rosen lists affect people's willingness—and ability—to respond in a positive way to organizational change? Bob Rosen 'Self-aware CEOs recognize the link between personal growth and organizational change,' he says. 'The best leaders navigate human strategy effectively, while others get derailed by fear, control issues, and unhealthy attachments to outcomes. During transitions, leaders must foster hope and clarity rather than allowing emotional baggage to undermine morale, creativity, and performance. During change, you want people to feel excited and hopeful about the future, and clear about their responsibilities to move the ball forward.' If people are carrying too much baggage, Rosen says, they are unable to perform and reach their potential. What can leaders do to help their people successfully navigate change when they are firmly attached to stability and the status quo? 'Uncertainty is reality, yet some leaders cling to the illusion of stability,' Rosen says. 'Their attachment to security, past experiences, or lack of confidence impedes progress. Though people prefer stability, change is constant—every breath alters our world. We must teach teams to embrace uncertainty and vulnerability, which opens paths to innovation. Our brains naturally adapt to threats and learn continuously, but attachment keeps us locked in fear. Letting go is a healthy process that enables us to move forward.' What are the tip-offs that a person is operating from attachment versus aspiration? 'Our emotions signal whether we're operating from negative attachments or positive aspiration,' Rosen says. 'Pain, fear, and anger often indicate attachments requiring new learning—like perfectionism hindering progress during change. Conversely, positive emotions like hope, joy, and gratitude facilitate adaptation, improve wellbeing, and foster better decisions. When leaders embody these positive emotions, they inspire courage and commitment.' How can leaders help create and maintain an organizational culture in which people are proactively inclined to replace their unhealthful attachments with liberating aspirations? Rosen says organizations can't thrive when leaders harbor unhealthy attachments. 'Removing these barriers drives high performance. Replace destructive patterns with positive aspirations: detach from stability to embrace agility; from past grievances to forgiveness; from control to embracing vulnerability; from perfectionism to achieving excellence; from scarcity to abundance; and from self-absorption to generous relationships.' . Rosen says the secret of letting go of our attachments is to replace them with more powerful aspirations. He explains with a story shared Brian Cornell, chairman and CEO of Target. 'Leaders who are mature recognize that they can't be perfect,' Cornell said. 'I was criticized for wanting to be perfect at an early stage of my career. I wanted to make sure I was completely buttoned up. One day, my old boss sat me down and said, 'Brian, you do great work, you have an amazing work ethic, and you're always organized. Everything is perfect and every word is thought out. But you should spend more time just being yourself, being genuine and staying approachable.'' Rosen says Cornell uses this lesson everyday as he leads Target through the storm clouds in today's disruptive business world. What are some practical exercises people can use to begin their detachment journey? Rosen suggests beginning the detachment journey with four steps: When someone is deliberately engaging in detachment, what are some of the tell-tale signs of progress? 'You will feel more joy in your life.,' Rosen says. 'Less worry and anxiety will bring more peace of mind. You will feel more freedom, allowing you to become the person you always wanted to be. You will feel less bogged down by the past, more comfortable with the future, and you will be able to distinguish what you can and cannot do. You will perform excellence without being shackled by being perfect. And you will accept yourself, have the capacity to be comfortable being uncomfortable as you learn, and you will feel a sense of gratitude. As a result, you will perform better.' In what ways does detachment differ from disengagement or apathy? Rosen says detachment doesn't mean disengagement. It's liberation to pursue what truly matters: wellbeing, relationships, community, democracy and the environment. 'Our anxious and polarized world (with 40+ million diagnosed anxiety disorders in the U.S.) leave many exhausted and yearning for better,' he says. 'Half the country feels abandoned, regardless of leadership. It is time for us to stop standing in the way of our own success, to confront our fears and attachments, and live a more fulfilling and prosperous life. The choice is ours.'
Forbes
07-05-2025
- General
- Forbes
Do Your Goals Seem Elusive? Try Wild Courage
. Pixabay You've no doubt heard many of the popular self-actualization quotes: 'If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.' 'Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.' 'It's not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it's because we do not dare that things are difficult.' 'A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.' Courage is an unspoken theme in all those sentiments. Interested in stretching your wings and flying to new heights? Jenny Wood offers a master class in WILD COURAGE: Go After What You Want and Get It . She's a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, former Google executive, and former Harvard Business School researcher who says 'real success isn't about following the rules or waiting your turn.' So, how does she define wild courage? 'Think about something you want,' she says. 'It could be a job, a relationship, a project. Then think about what gets between you and achieving that goal.' Jenny Wood . In training thousands of people on success, leadership, and influence, Wood says the same theme kept coming up when people felt stuck: their relationships to fear. Fear of failure. Fear of uncertainty. Fear of judgment of others. 'Wild courage is the process of feeling that fear and taking action anyway,' she says. 'It's the set of tools that help you go after what you want and get it.' Woods says wild courage helps people 'reclaim nine traits from their negative shackles' and teaches them how to apply those traits in a savvy and sane way to supercharge their success. Weird: Win as you or lose as 'who?' Selfish: Be your own champion. Shameless: Kick imposter syndrome to the curb and self-promote with ease. Obsessed: Push, persist, and perform at your highest level. Nosy: Get curious to network confidently and learn from others. Manipulative: Build influence with empathy and manage up like a pro. Brutal: Draw lines and stick to them. Embrace the power of no. Reckless: Err on the side of action and take healthy risks. Bossy: Steer others to success, even if you're not in charge yet. What's going on in our society these days that makes the need for courage such a hot topic? 'Given the rapid transformations we're all experiencing—politically, economically, and with AI—there's more fear than ever,' Wood says. 'But that's actually great news because fear is in your control. Fear, you can work with. Muster the wild courage to chase what you want in life, and you'll discover a vital truth: whether you succeed or fail at doing any one thing, you'll never feel as purposeful, powerful, and alive as when you're pushing through fear toward the success and joy on the other side. Everything you've ever wanted is waiting for you on the other side of fear. It's right there waiting for you.' The WINN Mindset Wood talks about what she calls the What I Need Now (WINN) mindset and how it can help a person with career navigation. 'Align yesterday's ambitions with today's circumstances,' she advises. 'Just as your long-term vision informs your day-to-day decision-making, your day-to-day experiences should shape your vision. Changing course often feels selfish because your plans inevitably involve other people. However, everyone's needs and desires change over time. What you wanted may no longer resonate.' As a strategy, she says, WINN means continuously coordinating your short-term experience with your long-term vision. She provides an example: Last year, you did the laundry. This year, your partner's firm went fully work from home while you're still commuting five days a week. WINN: renegotiate the split of household chores. You said no to a third date. Four months later, you're wondering if you made the wrong call. WINN: call them and book date number three if they're still open. Two years ago, you set your heart on becoming a manager. After a short stint to cover a leave, you've decided management isn't for you. WINN: find another ladder to climb. . . Wood says she is saddened when smart, talented people don't advance because they hold themselves back. She cites a study from the University of Leeds showing that 75% of employees lack confidence at work. 'People limit their full potential when they're too scared to ask for the promotion, too nervous to stand out, and mostly, too hesitant to identify and share their strengths with leaders in their organization. Being 'shameless' begins with owning your strengths.' Shameless begins with owning your strengths, she says. 'Embrace and highlight what you can offer. Ask yourself: What's a struggle for others but easy for me? What am I passionate about? Where have I made the greatest impact? If these questions bring up negative self-talk, flip those defeatist thoughts on their head. No experience? I bring a fresh perspective. Don't know the internal politics yet? I have an unbiased view of the players. Every weakness is a strength from a different perspective. It's on you to figure out how to leverage everything you've got.' NAP Traps On the job, how can people avoid NAP (not actually promotable) work without seeming uncooperative? 'NAP work is made of up of tasks that aren't part of your job description and won't advance your career,' Wood says. 'Aim to limit them to 15% of your time at work. Examples: taking notes in the meeting, organizing the offsite, planning the team dinner, scheduling a VP's day in your office location, leading the well-being pillar, and so on. Wood suggests reviewing your tasks and writing down everything you've been asked to do that isn't explicitly a part of your job description. 'Moving forward, add to that list of NAP traps whenever you're given a task that needs doing but not necessarily by you . Keep this list where you will see it when deciding priorities.' To politely decline these tasks without seeming uncooperative, she advises, 'point to more strategic, higher-profile work you have on your plate: increasing customer satisfaction by 12% or leading the AI integration plan for your division.' . . How does Wood help people stop worrying about what others think of them? 'As mentioned earlier, my biggest blockers are three fears: fear of uncertainty, fear of failure, and fear of judgment of others,' she says. 'In my 18-years at Google, I battled these daily. There was the fear I wouldn't impress my boss in our weekly one-on-one. Fear that I would say something stupid in that big meeting full of VIPs. Fear no one would ever forget the presentation I flubbed. Cool and collected Google exec on the outside, a lot more going on on the inside.' What finally helped her push past the fear was naming it in the moment and remembering the 'Spotlight Effect'—the idea that no one was lying awake at night thinking about her mistakes because they were too busy worrying about their own. 'The truth is,' she says, 'everyone's got their own spotlight on their head. Name which of the three fears you feel, remember the Spotlight Effect, and you will push past the fear to the joy and success on the other side.
