Latest news with #childhood
Yahoo
8 hours ago
- Health
- Yahoo
15 Signs You Had A Deeply Unhappy Childhood
Childhood lays the foundation for who you become as an adult. While some people reminisce about carefree days filled with laughter, others bear the weight of a past that was less than idyllic. If you're questioning whether your early years left a lasting impact, you might find some clarity here. Understanding these signs can help you make sense of your behaviors, emotions, and relationship patterns today. Let's explore these telltale signs that might indicate you had a deeply unhappy childhood. 1. You Struggle To Trust Anyone Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but for you, it's more like a complex puzzle. Growing up in an environment where promises were consistently broken can make you wary of letting your guard down. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, trust issues often stem from unpredictable caregiving during formative years. You might find yourself constantly questioning the motives of those around you, unsure if they truly have your best interests at heart. Building trust doesn't come naturally to you; it feels more like an uphill battle. Over time, your inability to trust easily spills over into other areas of life. Whether it's friendships, romantic relationships, or even professional settings, you're often on high alert. This mindset can lead to isolation, as you struggle to form meaningful connections. You're always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it creates a cycle that's hard to break. Understanding the root cause can be the first step in learning how to build trust more effectively. 2. You're A Diehard Perfectionist The need to be perfect is a familiar feeling for you, driven by the fear of not being good enough. In childhood, you might have received love or approval based on your achievements rather than who you are. As a result, you learned to equate your self-worth with performance. This mindset turns every task into a test of your value, adding immense pressure to daily life. It can be exhausting, but the fear of failure often outweighs the need for rest. Even when you succeed, the satisfaction is fleeting, overshadowed by the fear of your next potential failure. You may avoid new challenges unless you're sure you can excel, preventing personal growth. This constant striving for perfection can lead to burnout or even anxiety. It's like running a marathon that never ends, always chasing an ideal that seems just out of reach. Recognizing this pattern is crucial for breaking free and finding more balanced ways to gauge your self-worth. 3. You Feel Emotionally Numb Experiencing emotional numbness is a clear sign of an unhappy childhood. When you're used to suppressing your feelings to survive an unstable environment, emotional detachment becomes a coping mechanism. According to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading expert on trauma, emotional numbness often results from prolonged exposure to stressful situations during childhood. You might find it difficult to identify how you feel in specific situations, resulting in a disconnect between you and your emotions. This lack of emotional clarity can hinder your ability to empathize with others. Living in a state of emotional numbness affects your relationships and your sense of self. You might find yourself going through the motions, living life on autopilot without truly engaging. It's like watching your life unfold from a distance, unable to fully participate. This disconnection can make it challenging to form deep, meaningful relationships. Learning to reconnect with your feelings is vital for breaking free from this pattern. 4. You Feel Like Everyone Will Abandon You The fear of abandonment is a weight you've carried since childhood. This fear often stems from inconsistent or unavailable caregivers, leaving you feeling insecure and unwanted. You might find yourself clinging to relationships, fearing that if you let go, you'll be left alone. This can lead to unhealthy attachments, where you tolerate poor treatment just to avoid feeling abandoned. Understanding this fear can help you develop more secure relationships. Your fear of abandonment can also manifest as jealousy or possessiveness. These emotions might serve as protective mechanisms, but they can push people away, ironically leading to the very outcome you dread. Constantly needing reassurance from others can be draining, for both you and those around you. Breaking this cycle requires introspection and often guidance from a therapist to help you build more secure attachments. It's a journey worth taking to develop healthier relationships. 5. You Have Trouble Expressing Your Needs Articulating your needs can feel nearly impossible, a pattern that often originates in childhood. If your needs were met with dismissal or neglect, you learned to suppress them to avoid disappointment. Dr. Jane Adams, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes that people raised in emotionally neglectful environments often struggle to recognize or voice their needs. You might find it challenging to advocate for yourself, fearing backlash or rejection. This pattern can lead to unmet needs and feelings of resentment. Even when you do express your needs, you might downplay them, convinced they're not as important as those of others. This self-neglect can spill over into all areas of life, from personal relationships to work. Over time, the inability to express needs can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction. Learning to recognize and prioritize your needs is vital for achieving balance and happiness. It's an essential step toward self-care and personal growth. 6. You Do Anything To Avoid Confrontation Avoiding confrontation is a common trait among those who had an unhappy childhood. Conflict might have been a regular occurrence in your home, leaving you anxious at the thought of facing it. As a result, you might go out of your way to keep the peace, even at your own expense. This can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, where you suppress emotions until they inevitably surface. Understanding your conflict avoidance can help you develop healthier communication skills. You might find it difficult to stand up for yourself, fearing the backlash that confrontation might bring. This avoidance can strain relationships, as unresolved issues fester beneath the surface. It can also lead to a buildup of resentment, affecting your mental well-being. Learning to address conflict constructively is essential for healthier, more honest interactions. It's a skill that can significantly improve your quality of life. 7. You Have A Hard Time Relaxing Relaxation might feel like an elusive concept, especially if your childhood was filled with chaos or stress. The constant need to be on alert can leave you feeling tense and unable to unwind. Research by Dr. Peter Levine, an expert on trauma and healing, shows that a heightened state of vigilance is common among those who experienced trauma in their formative years. You might find it challenging to detach from stressors, even during downtime. This perpetual state of alertness can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Your inability to relax can affect your sleep, leading to fatigue and decreased productivity. You might find yourself constantly fidgeting or struggling to focus on leisure activities. This hyper-vigilant state can also impact your relationships, as loved ones may notice your inability to be present. Learning relaxation techniques can be a game-changer, helping you find moments of peace amidst life's chaos. It's a journey worth taking for your overall well-being. 8. You Struggle With Low Self-Esteem Low self-esteem often takes root during childhood, especially if you grew up in an environment filled with criticism or neglect. You might find yourself frequently doubting your worth, convinced you're not as capable or deserving as others. This mindset can seep into every aspect of life, limiting your potential and preventing you from taking risks. You might avoid challenges, fearing that any failure will affirm your negative self-view. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward building a healthier sense of self. Your low self-esteem can also impact your relationships, leading to a cycle of seeking validation from others. This dependence on external approval can be exhausting, as you constantly seek affirmations that often feel fleeting. You might struggle to accept compliments or achievements, downplaying your successes. Overcoming low self-esteem requires a shift in perspective, focusing on self-acceptance and self-worth. It's a gradual process but one that's crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. 9. You Don't Set Boundaries Setting boundaries might be a foreign concept if you grew up in an environment where they were routinely ignored. You might have learned early on that your needs weren't as important as those of others around you. This can lead to a pattern of over-committing and sacrificing your own well-being for the sake of others. The inability to set boundaries can result in feelings of resentment and burnout. Recognizing this pattern is essential for healthier relationships. Without clear boundaries, you might find it challenging to protect your time, energy, and emotional health. You might feel obligated to say yes to every request, fearing rejection or conflict if you decline. This can lead to being taken advantage of, both personally and professionally. Learning to set and enforce boundaries is vital for maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life. It's an empowering step that can significantly improve your relationships and overall well-being. 10. You Feel Responsible For Others' Emotions Feeling responsible for others' emotions is a common trait if you had an unhappy childhood. You might have been thrust into a caregiver role early on, conditioned to manage the emotions of those around you. This can lead to a pattern of people-pleasing, where you prioritize others' feelings over your own. While empathy is valuable, taking responsibility for others' emotions can be detrimental. It can lead to emotional exhaustion and a loss of your own identity. You might find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of upsetting those around you. This can prevent you from expressing your true feelings and needs, leading to suppressed emotions. Over time, this pattern can lead to resentment and burnout. Understanding that everyone is responsible for their own emotions is crucial for healthier relationships. It's a lesson that can free you from the burden of carrying emotional weight that isn't yours to bear. 11. You Fear Failure Above All Else A fear of failure can be deeply rooted in an unhappy childhood, where mistakes weren't met with understanding. You might equate failure with a lack of worth, making it a paralyzing fear. This mindset can prevent you from trying new things, as the risk of failure feels too great. It can lead to stagnation, where you avoid challenges out of fear. Recognizing this pattern can help you reframe your perspective on failure. Your fear of failure might manifest as procrastination, where you delay tasks to avoid the possibility of not succeeding. This can lead to stress and last-minute scrambles, affecting your performance and well-being. You might also struggle with self-doubt, questioning your abilities even in the face of success. Overcoming this fear requires a shift in mindset, embracing failure as a stepping stone rather than a dead end. It's a crucial lesson for personal growth and resilience. 12. You Find Intimacy Uncomfortable Struggling with intimacy is a common outcome of an unhappy childhood, especially if you lacked emotional support. You might find it difficult to let people get close, fearing vulnerability and potential hurt. This can lead to surface-level relationships, where emotional depth is lacking. You might also struggle with showing affection, unsure how to express your emotions. Recognizing this pattern is essential for forming deeper connections. Your struggle with intimacy might stem from a fear of rejection or abandonment. This fear can prevent you from fully investing in relationships, keeping people at arm's length. Over time, this pattern can lead to loneliness, even when you're surrounded by people. Learning to embrace vulnerability is key to overcoming this barrier. It's a challenging journey, but one that can lead to more fulfilling and connected relationships. 13. You Experience Paralysis When Making Decisions Difficulty making decisions can be traced back to a childhood where you had little control. You might have learned to doubt your judgment, always seeking validation from others. This can lead to a pattern of indecisiveness, where even minor choices feel overwhelming. The fear of making the wrong decision can be paralyzing, preventing you from moving forward. Recognizing this pattern is crucial for developing confidence in your decision-making abilities. Your indecisiveness might stem from a fear of consequences or a lack of self-trust. This can lead to a cycle of second-guessing, where you constantly question your choices. Over time, this pattern can hinder your personal and professional growth, as opportunities pass you by. Developing decision-making skills and learning to trust your instincts are vital steps toward breaking free from this cycle. It's a process that can lead to greater confidence and independence. 14. You're Your Own Worst Critic Being overly critical of yourself often originates in an environment where criticism was prevalent. You might have internalized these harsh judgments, holding yourself to impossibly high standards. This self-criticism can affect your self-esteem, leading to a cycle of negative self-talk. You might struggle to acknowledge your achievements, always focusing on what you could have done better. Recognizing this pattern is essential for cultivating self-compassion. Your self-criticism might manifest as perfectionism, where nothing you do feels good enough. This can result in a constant feeling of dissatisfaction, impacting your mental well-being. You might also find it difficult to accept praise, dismissing compliments as undeserved. Learning to challenge your inner critic and embrace self-compassion is vital for improving your self-esteem. It's a journey toward self-acceptance and personal growth. 15. You Ruminate Constantly On The Past Holding on to the past is a common trait if you had an unhappy childhood. You might find yourself replaying old memories, unable to move forward. This can lead to a cycle of rumination, where you're stuck in a loop of negative emotions. The inability to let go can prevent you from embracing the present and future. Recognizing this pattern is essential for personal growth and healing. Your attachment to the past might stem from unresolved issues or a desire for closure. This can lead to feelings of regret or resentment, impacting your overall happiness. You might find it difficult to forgive yourself or others, holding on to grudges that weigh you down. Learning to let go is a crucial step toward healing and finding peace. It's a challenging journey but one that can lead to a more fulfilling life. Solve the daily Crossword
BBC News
20 hours ago
- Health
- BBC News
Toys from Bristol hospital charity 'gave my son a childhood'
A mother has raised nearly £6,000 for a charity that enabled her son to "have a childhood" while being treated for leukaemia. Four-year-old Connor, from Portishead in Somerset, was diagnosed in February. He is currently cancer-free but is still having chemotherapy to prevent it from returning. Last weekend, his mother Lucy Radford took part in a 24-hour relay to raise money for Bristol Children's Hospital charity, the Grand said the organisation had provided her family with endless toys and "distractions", allowing Connor carefree moments of "normality". Connor spent his fourth birthday in hospital having a spinal tap, where a needle is inserted between the bones of the spine to collect fluid for testing. To create a special memory, the Grand Appeal fulfilled his birthday wish by delivering a Jurassic Park Lego set to his bedside."It might seem like a small gesture, but in those moments, it meant everything," said Ms Radford."It's a distraction, not just for the children but for the parents too. "While they're playing, the adults can sit and talk about what's going on and how they're coping." While having chemotherapy, Connor was also able to play with the ward's jukebox, toys, puzzles, games and Ms Radford said Connor's illness was "a lot to take on". "No parent should have to deal with their child being diagnosed with leukaemia, or any other illness," she said. "We just take each day at a time really."More than 60 people took part in the fundraising relay, which was hosted by Portishead Running Club, of which Lucy is a member. The club quickly surpassed its initial target of £2,000, raising £6, money will go towards state-of-the-art equipment, music, play and art therapy, family accommodation, and making the clinical environment more Connor's diagnosis, his mother said she thought the weeks-long stay in hospital would be "really hard". "But so much effort and funding goes into making the hospital feel less like a hospital and more like a place of comfort and care, for both children and families," she said.
Yahoo
20 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Diana Hauntingly Predicted a ‘Difficult Path' for Harry Decades Before William Will Reportedly ‘Never Ever' Forgive His Brother
Princess Diana feared a comparison between Harry and William during their childhood. The late mother of the royal brothers didn't want Harry to go to his brother's alma mater because of tensions. According to Diana's former royal butler Paul Burrell, she wanted them to have a normal childhood where they were treated fairly and was apprehensive of sending them to the same school, Eton College. 'Even when it came to school, [Diana] worried that Harry would constantly be compared to his brother and judged by William's standards,' Burrell told for 'When they went to Eton, Diana didn't want Harry to attend Eton; she knew that he would be compared to William, who had gone before him.' More from StyleCaster Princess Anne Proves Place as Senior Royal After Reports William Is Planning to 'Overhaul' Palace With Younger Members Once He's King Harry & Charles' In-Person Reconciliation Officially Sets Date as Sources Reveal if Meghan's Husband Also Plans to See 'Furious' William 'William is much brighter, and he excelled; Harry wasn't and didn't. And so, she knew it would be a difficult path for Harry,' Burrell recounted his tensions with his brother at Eton College in his memoir Spare. 'They'd [teachers] always say the same thing: 'Don't worry, you'll be all right. And don't forget you always have your brother here!' But I wasn't the one forgetting. Willy told me to pretend I didn't know him,' the Invictus Games founder wrote. He later recounted that William was the popular kid before he entered the college. 'For the last two years, he explained, Eton had been his sanctuary. No kid brother tagging along, pestering him with questions, pushing up on his social circle. He was forging his own life, and he wasn't willing to give that up.' The revelation from Burrell comes after it was reported that Harry wants reconciliation with his family. Recently, King Charles and Prince Harry's senior aides held a secret meeting, according to The Mail on Sunday. According to The Sun, it was Harry who gave his press reps, Meredith Maines and Liam Maguire, the green light to meet with the cancer-stricken king's secretary, Tobyn Andreae. A friend of Kate and William told the Daily Mail, 'It's no coincidence that William and Catherine did not have a representative at the Royal Over-Seas League. They were not asked to send anyone, and will be treating the talks with extreme caution. The fact that it ended up in the newspapers tells you all you need to know.' However, William seems to be seething at the fact that his brother wants to re-enter royal family life. 'He absolutely f—ing hates' his brother Harry, with the same source saying that, 'William will never, ever forgive Harry for what he has done. Charles is the king; he can do what he likes. But make no mistake: William believes with every fiber of his being that giving Harry and Meghan back any royal imprimatur is a huge mistake.' A source recently told The Mirror, 'Harry is seriously worried that when his father dies one day, William will literally banish him and he will have no status in Britain at all. He will be persona non grata.' Best of StyleCaster The 26 Best Romantic Comedies to Watch if You Want to Know What Love Feels Like These 'Bachelor' Secrets & Rules Prove What Happens Behind the Scenes Is So Much Juicier BTS's 7 Members Were Discovered in the Most Unconventional Ways Solve the daily Crossword
The Guardian
2 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
The kindness of strangers: I was five years old when a woman I'll never know gave me an extravagant doll
When I was very young, my family and I emigrated from Albania to Melbourne. As a child of refugees settling in Australia after the second world war, I experienced the searing poverty that myriads of displaced people dealt with as they tried to rebuild lives in far away, unfamiliar places. As a result, my brothers and sisters and I very rarely enjoyed the magic and thrill that come when a child gets a new toy. One day – I must have been no more than five – I was wandering through the local town hall with my mother. Some sort of fair was in full swing and I happened upon a table where, for a mere penny, I could try my luck to win a doll. I didn't have a penny, but I did have a fervent wish to have a doll – particularly the beautiful one with the gloriously extravagant light blue dress! I lingered at the table watching people try their luck and hoping no one would win the doll I felt was mine. At some point, a woman – I'll never know who she was – decided to play and won the chance to choose a doll from the dozen or so settled along the wall. As she prepared to claim her prize, she turned to me and, with a smile that I can still remember today, asked me to choose. I hesitated until she said: 'Which one would you like to take home with you?' Feeling emboldened, I pointed tentatively to the doll with the magnificent pale blue dress. A moment later, the doll floated down from the wall and into my waiting hands. It was mine. I was overwhelmed with wonder. This incredibly kind woman had noticed the longing in the eyes of a little girl and made her dream come true. Her act of kindness was a moment of pure magic. I cherished that beloved doll until I was 17, when we left Australia to move to Canada and luggage restrictions forced me to bequeath her to another. That woman sowed the seeds of my own belief that small acts of kindness can change lives. We are regularly confronted with choices about how to treat other people and how to interpret their words and actions. I try to be forgiving and empathetic because I believe very sincerely in the goodness of people, in large part because of that day at the fair. Sixty-five years later, I can say I am a better person because of that woman. From making your day to changing your life, we want to hear about chance encounters that have stuck with you. Your contact details are helpful so we can contact you for more information. They will only be seen by the Guardian. Your contact details are helpful so we can contact you for more information. They will only be seen by the Guardian. If you're having trouble using the form click here. Read terms of service here and privacy policy here
Telegraph
2 days ago
- Telegraph
Sione Tuipulotu interview: Private school saved me from life of crime
Sione Tuipulotu is talking about his childhood growing up in Frankston, a suburb of Melbourne. It is not some idyllic recall of golden days. The Scotland captain will happily talk all day, but he does not do cliched answers. He did not grow up dreaming of playing international rugby, whether for his native Australia or Scotland, for whom he qualifies via his grandmother, Anne Thompson, who in 1963 moved with her parents and siblings from Greenock, outside Glasgow, to within an hour of Melbourne. No, at the age of 13 Tuipulotu feared, in his own words, that he was 'going down the wrong path'. 'Gang violence was always around but I was more scared of my dad than any gang in our neighbourhood,' says Tuipulotu. 'There is not much opportunity for kids where I was from. Boredom gets the best of a lot of kids in my area. You are bored and looking for something to do and quite often that leads to trouble. I stopped going to school a lot and I was getting into trouble when I did go to school.' I ask what sort of things he got up to. 'Oh, to be honest, crime,' he says matter-of-factly. 'Not that I am going to sit here and admit to any crime that I have done,' he adds. 'But you get into little things, as young kids do, in terms of stealing, fighting and it was because all the kids in my environment were doing it. 'You get to that age, 13, 14 and 15 years old, when you get to the crossroads, you know? My parents did a really good job with me ever since I was a kid. I was probably more scared of my dad than I anything else that was going on outside. So that kept me relatively on the straight and narrow, but I was getting into trouble.' 'I had a chip on my shoulder at school' What happened next, according to Tuipulotu, is a story of redemption. Not for the first time – and hopefully not the last – rugby's intervention led to good life decisions. He played soccer at first, but his dad Fohe was a rugby man and encouraged his son to join Southern Districts rugby club. The days when he 'ran down the right wing' in football quickly came to an end. Despite the distractions as a pupil at the Elisabeth Murdoch College, he excelled at several sports, but his rugby prowess attracted the attention of a private school, St Kevin's College, which offered him a full scholarship. Yet this is only the first stage of his journey from the backstreets of Frankston to a place in the British and Irish Lions side to face Australia in the first Test on Saturday. He was a kid looking for a purpose, and more importantly, for someone to put their arm around him. Do that, and he would give you everything. That it was a Scottish arm changed his life. The early days at his new school, however, initially left him cold. 'At first, I wanted to make my parents proud because it was an opportunity they could never afford themselves. But for the first couple of years, I had a chip on my shoulder. I thought none of the kids were like me. I didn't have anything similar with them; their parents were wealthy. When I came back home on the train, I would take my blazer off because I was embarrassed. I didn't want to come back to Frankston and all the boys see me in this fancy blazer. 'At one stage they were at a crossroads to get rid of me, because I was still getting in trouble. But one teacher called Robert Windle, who went to school in Edinburgh, put his arm around me and drove me through school. He had been to Merchiston, and it was funny that I would later end up playing with a number of boys who went there. 'He was the first XV coach but was also more mentoring, not on my rugby side, because he knew that came easy to me, but for the school stuff. I played for the first XV as soon as I joined the school at 14, I was physically developed for my age although at that stage I was more of a finesse player. It was only when I got older that I fell in love with the collision aspect of the game. 'Bob's interest made me really competitive. Once someone showed they cared about me, I didn't want to let them down and that's when everything changed for me. 'School became so important because I would spend three hours every day on the train to get there and back, so by the time I got back after rugby training it was late. I started taking rugby really seriously then, too, and zoned in on what I wanted to do. 'Going into my last year in school, I would keep my blazer on when I got off the train. I had figured out in my brain that the school had saved me from a lot of things and rugby had kept me busy.' 'We were overlooked by Australian rugby' If those formative years proved critical, when he left knowing that he wanted to become a professional rugby player, the frustrations and disillusionment of the 13-year-old Tuipulotu soon returned as he felt players in Melbourne were not given a fair chance by the Australian system, even when the Rebels were established as a Super Rugby franchise. 'I can give you a list of the Melbourne boys who were let go by the Rebels, and it would surprise you,' he says. 'For example, I played with Emmanuel Meafou, who is at Toulouse now. He was told he was never going to be fit enough. Hunter Paisami was told he was too small and would never play Super Rugby. 'It was the same for Monty Ioane. These were all Melbourne kids who didn't get the opportunity to play for Melbourne. That's all we wanted to do at the time, represent our state. There's a tight-knit community down there in Victorian rugby, and we felt like we were always overlooked in the grand scheme of Australian rugby because we grew up in what was perceived as a non-rugby state. They used us for marketing purposes, because we were Melbourne kids, but we never ended up getting much of an opportunity. 'When I left Melbourne, I left angry, and I saw so many other kids miss out on opportunities. Later on in your career, you think that it was meant to happen, but I definitely still have that chip on my shoulder of being turned away. I will carry it for the rest of my career. 'It is something I'm really passionate about, even on this tour because at the end of the day, I still represent Melbourne kids. That's where I'm from. I know a lot of those kids are supporting the Wallabies as they should, but even if a couple of them support the Lions because I'm playing for them, then I will feel that I have won.' After seeing the Rebels squad recruit many Western Force players when it was originally cut from Super Rugby in 2017, he moved on to Japan before Scotland came calling, with an offer to join Glasgow Warriors. It felt like another arm around his shoulder, and once again he was prepared to give all that he had. Which brings us to his sense of identity. Some have criticised the number of players in the Lions squad who were not born or raised in Britain or Ireland. Tuipulotu does not shy away from the issue. 'I really understand the people that are angry,' he adds. 'I'm not angry that anyone feels like that, to be honest. If anything, I understand it. If I open my mouth and they don't hear a Scottish accent, I understand how that might upset people, but my accent is my accent. 'When I left Australia, I wasn't ready to play for the Wallabies. I have never said that. All I said was that my talent was mismanaged. Going to Scotland, my talent was managed correctly. The coaches had a massive [impact] on my career, first Danny Wilson, then Franco Smith and finally Gregor Townsend. 'I can't say enough about Gregor because when I got to Scotland, I wasn't the finished product – I'm still not the finished product, I know that – but I needed time in the saddle to learn and he gave me that. 'He stuck by me maybe because he could see my potential and the reason for my success is because he stuck by me. He put his arm around me and I never want to let him down because of that. 'It was the same with my mum and dad when they sent me to that school, it was the same with my teacher when he put his arm around me, I didn't want to let my coach down. I think that is my personality, I am driven by not wanting to let people down. 'I feel like I am where I am supposed to be. I've captained Scotland now. I've gained many, many new friends and my son was born in Glasgow.' 'Boys from back home told me to shut up' Tuipulotu's backstory means that the Scotland captain is ready to face his native Australia with arguably an extra edge compared to his team-mates. He is primed for any abuse from the Australian players or supporters. 'I am ready for it,' he adds with a chuckle. 'Like I said, I play my best rugby when there's a big chip on my shoulder. If they are going to add to the chip, it just helps me and I will get more emotionally invested so that will only be a good thing for me. 'It comes with the territory. There are going to be things said on both sides. That's why I love rugby, that's why I love sport. It is not the things that you say are necessarily going to get the job done. It is the things that you do. There is always going to be noise, it is the biggest tour in the world, but it is cool that you get to answer it.' There are still some answers to deliver after Australia's defeat by Scotland last November when Joseph Sua'ali'i lined up Tuipulotu at centre for a massive tackle, only to injure himself in the process. Tuipulotu gave him a send-off but Sua'ali'i delivered a pointed warning, 'I'll see you next time'. 'It was quite a noisy game,' the Lions 12 recalls. 'But that made the game so fun for me. I know a lot of those boys from back home and played rugby with them. They were telling me to shut up because I was so motivated, but it was all good fun.' Finally, I ask him about his tattoo and the answer should leave no one in any doubt about his commitment to the Lions' cause. It is from the cover of an album by Lauryn Hill, the American rapper. ' The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is my mum's favourite album,' he adds. 'We grew up on Lauryn Hill's music. It was quite a spontaneous tattoo, to be honest, because I'm not covered in them. I got it because of my mum and the influence she had on me. The story of my upbringing is that I was pretty terrified of my dad, but my mum raised me and I know how excited she is to see me play for the Lions. All my family in Australia had the red merchandise even before I had! 'Me playing for the Lions is as big an achievement for them as it is for me. To get on this tour, you have to be lucky in your own life, but to be there, you have to be lucky to have parents to have put you in a position to do well. That's the story for me. Me playing in this tour is not just a representation of my own work but also theirs. And my granny is going to be there with her bells and whistles on, too. I am just desperate to contribute as much as I can.'
