Latest news with #coercivecontrol
ABC News
5 days ago
- General
- ABC News
Homelessness doesn't look like people sleeping on park benches in the Pilbara
When Tess Hulshoff was trying to leave a domestic violence situation, she was afraid homelessness would send her back under the roof of her abusive former partner. "I was terrified. I didn't know what to do," Ms Hulshoff said. "I didn't want to be a burden on my friends. I had two young kids and I was a mess." The Pilbara mother and photographer was kicked out of her home, supplied by her former partner's employer, after telling her partner she was leaving the relationship. "I had done some counselling and the [counsellor] had identified that I was in a situation of DV and coercive control," she said. If you need help immediately call emergency services on triple-0 Ms Hulshoff's situation is one experts say is increasingly common in the Pilbara, which recorded homelessness rates five times the state average during the last census. And research released as part of National Homelessness Week revealed a concerning lack of understanding of homelessness. Most people understand homelessness as "primary homelessness" — sometimes called "sleeping rough" or "rooflessness". But researchers say "red dust homelessness", the term for the situation Ms Hulshoff experienced, is accounting for a growing number of cases. In the mining and gas-dominated Pilbara, where company-supplied housing is often the norm for families, separation and divorce can cause instability. "If you're not employed by that company, or even if you are, then there are very few housing options for you if you want to separate," said Curtin University professor of social work Donna Chung. "There is really limited accommodation, particularly if people are living in houses in small communities. "So if you separate or you are evicted from your accommodation, then there's actually very little option for you." In Ms Hulshoff's case, it was a combination of a close friend and luck that prevented her and her children from sleeping in her car or returning to the prospect of more violence at home. "I was driving out of my driveway asking [a friend] if we — myself and two kids — could come to her house and stay," Ms Hulshoff said. She stayed with her friend for a week before a real estate company expedited a rental home for her — something she said was a stroke of luck. "It was by chance that one of the real estate agents was a past client of mine and she advocated for me," she said. Professor Chung said this "secondary" homelessness was common in regional WA. "There's a group of people who are almost always at risk of homelessness," she said. "They might have moved into a friend's place, or a family member's place, in crisis and then stayed there because they haven't been able to move out." The Salvation Army's Danielle Black, who coordinates the charity's Doorways program in Karratha, said the region's homelessness was hidden. "The amount of times that I've heard the comment, 'But we don't have homelessness in the Pilbara.' We do," she said. "The last family that we worked with had 18 [people] in a three-bedroom house. Ms Black said there were added layers of complexity for women and Aboriginal people. She said affording stable accommodation in an area with acute housing challenges was a key issue. "In relationship breakdowns, particularly when there's family and domestic violence, you know you need to act quite quickly." Despite the challenges, Ms Black said the region had some "fantastic" services, including the expansion of the women's refuge in Karratha late last year. The WA government recently reaffirmed a $5.8 billion commitment to address housing and homelessness across the state. A state government spokesperson said it had an election commitment to develop a new Safe at Home service in Karratha and had recently funded a similar service in Port Hedland. The government also funds four homelessness services in the Pilbara region and provides recurrent funding for four family and domestic violence refuges in Port Hedland, Newman, Karratha and Roebourne.
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Repair Shop host Jay Blades is charged with two counts of rape as he awaits trial on separate charge of controlling and coercive behaviour
The Repair Shop 's Jay Blades has been charged with two counts of rape. Police said in a statement tonight that the 55-year-old father-of-three would appear at magistrates' court next Wednesday. A spokesperson for West Mercia Police said: 'Jason Blades, 55, of Claverley in Shropshire, has been charged with two counts of rape. 'He is due to appear at Telford magistrates' court on 13 August 2025.' Blades is currently awaiting trial on a separate charge of coercive control of his estranged wife Lisa-Marie Zbozen. He denied the allegation when he appeared at Worcester Crown Court last October. Blades is due to appear at the same court on Tuesday for a pre-trial review hearing. The star was charged last September with a single count of 'controlling and coercive behaviour' between January 1 2023 and September 12 2024. The single charge relates to his fitness instructor wife Ms Zbozen, who announced on Instagram on May 2 last year that she had walked out of the marriage. The BBC show, which started on daytime TV in 2017 before moving to a primetime slot, saw Blades become one of the best-known faces on British TV. He was honoured with an MBE in 2021. He has been at the helm of the show for seven years, but was dropped from last year's live tour.
BBC News
30-07-2025
- BBC News
Dewsbury rapist who police say poses risk to women jailed
A rapist who police said was a "danger to women" has been jailed for more than 13 years. Jonathan Ellis, 30, of no fixed address, was found guilty of rape, sexual assault, coercive and controlling behaviour, making threats to kill and criminal damage after a trial at Leeds Crown Court. Police said his crimes took place over an eight-year period between 2016 and from Dewsbury, was jailed at the same court on Monday for 13 and a half years, with three more years on licence due to the risk the judge said he posed. Speaking after the sentence West Yorkshire Police's PC Isaac Taylor said Ellis had carried out some "shocking offences against his victim".He said: "Given that offending included serious sexual assault, coercive control and stalking, it is no exaggeration to say he subjected his victim to a whole spectrum of abuse, and we do believe he poses a real danger to women."His victim has shown significant courage in coming forwards and reporting Ellis, and then in supporting the prosecution." Listen to highlights from West Yorkshire on BBC Sounds, catch up with the latest episode of Look North.
Yahoo
28-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
‘I Love You Forever' is streaming on HBO Max — and striking a nerve. Experts break down the toxic dynamic at the center of this anti-rom-com.
A new film explores narcissistic abuse, and it's getting the internet talking. I Love You Forever, which was produced by Diablo Cody from filmmaking team Cazzie David and Elisa Kalani, stars Sofia Black-D'Elia as Mackenzie, a woman who thinks she's finally found an emotionally available man in Finn, played by Ray Nicholson. At first, the movie plays out like a classic romantic comedy, only to take a dark turn when Finn's grandiose displays of affection and emotional vulnerability shifts into something darker. Soon he's calling Mackenzie dozens of times in a row while she's in class, showing up at her apartment to talk when she's exhausted and interrupting important life events — all while berating and criticizing her for the ways she falls short at meeting his needs. As Finn gaslights Mackenzie into making her think she's a bad partner, she finds herself scrambling to please him, losing herself to the relationship as she falls deeper under his coercive control. Though I Love You Forever was available for rent and purchase after its 2024 debut at the South by Southwest Film & TV Festival (SXSW), the movie recently dropped on HBO Max, where many people on social media are watching it for the first time. And many are noting the familiar patterns in what's going on between Mackenzie and Finn and their own previous relationships. In a TikTok video, user @magentababyyy called it the best film she had ever seen about falling into a cycle of abuse. 'Someone will love bomb you, and then slowly introduce these kind of abusive gray area situations to where you're so unaware that they are abusing you emotionally, mentally and then eventually physically,' she wrote, noting that the movie was triggering as someone who was in an abusive marriage. Fellow TikToker @ohmayabehave echoed the sentiment in her own video, saying that the movie finally gave her an example to share with her loved ones about the 'mental and emotional manipulation' she experienced in a previous relationship. 'If you watch it, that is exactly what I just got done dealing with,' she said. 'And if your friends ever try to tell you they're dealing with something like that, believe them.' TikToker @harvionn also related to the film, calling it both 'traumatic' and like reliving their 'past relationship all over again' in the caption of his video. What the filmmakers have said Back in February, before the film hit VOD on Valentine's Day, David told Marie Claire that she had personally experienced a relationship similar to the one Mackenzie deals with in the movie, and that she turned to 'research' in order to understand what was really happening to her. That research inspired her and cowriter and codirector Kalani to show how these kinds of relationships can suck people in , including all the 'manipulation tactics' that Finn uses in the movie, like guilting and shaming Mackenzie or making sarcastic comments. 'We really wanted to get the cycle of abuse: the love bombing period; the idolization once they win you over; how they immediately devalue you and it's game over; how you're constantly trying to get back to the beginning and that's what keeps you into the relationship,' David said. 'It was important for us to show how and why someone might stay in this. And so much of that is:, once it's calm, you don't want to set it off again; there'll be this explosive episode and you'll maybe want to leave, but the second it gets calm again, you don't want to go back to that.' In an interview with IndieWire, David specifically said that Finn's abuse is what happens when someone with narcissistic personality disorder enters into a romantic relationship, even if they may not seem pompous or arrogant, typically narcissistic traits. 'For [Finn], I think when people think of a narcissist, they think of a confident, charming, peacocky guy,' she said. 'And we chose someone who might be more vulnerable and seemingly compassionate and also a victim. There's a million different types of these people, and this is just one of them.' What experts say about the abuse at the center of While every relationship is different, the cycle of abuse follows familiar patterns, experts told Yahoo. Psychotherapist Vassilia Binensztok of Juno Counseling and Wellness said that many people — women, in particular — will fall for an abuser who seems emotionally available, open and willing to be vulnerable, just as Finn did in the film by sharing trauma from his home life. But while these traits are generally positive, this type of openness can put people in harm's way, as it leads to openings for the abusive person to criticize them or turn the insecurities the person has shared against them. Abusers are able to gain coercive control over their partner under the guise of 'I do all these things for you, and therefore I'm a great partner, and to be a great partner back, you should do all these things,' Binensztok said. What these abusive partners want from their victims is often unrealistic, like when Finn calls Mackenzie incessantly in the middle of class, then demands to know why she didn't pick up, leading to a nasty fight. But when Finn goes back to being a so-called good boyfriend, Mackenzie worries there's something wrong with her, not Finn. And the more Finn shares his own insecurities from his difficult home life and previous relationships, the more Mackenzie feels pressure to not let him down the way he's told her others have. 'I think it's very easy for the recipient to gaslight themselves and believe that, and say, 'OK, well, he does do all these things which I associate with someone being a good partner. Maybe he's needing a lot of reassurance right now, and that might make sense. Maybe he's not feeling very wanted. Maybe he had a stressful day. Maybe he had a past bad relationship that made him feel unlovable or unwanted, and so I should do these things for him. I should provide that emotional support. I should be there for him,'' Binensztok said. The problem, however, is that even when the ask seems small — like answering the phone — if you zoom out, it's really about him 'being in control of what she's doing, what she's thinking at any given time — she has to be paying attention to him. She has to be putting him first. So it is actually very controlling, but I think in a very subtle way,' Binensztok said. Psychotherapist Terri DiMatteo of Open Door Therapy said that Finn displays classic signs of a narcissist, and that the abuse caused by people with this personality disorder can leave deep emotional wounds for their victim. She described Finn as a 'covert narcissist,' explaining that while these people have an insatiable desire for attention, they tend to fly under the radar when compared to more overt narcissists, who may be louder and more outwardly confident. A covert narcissist, on the other hand, may be more passive aggressive. In the case of I Love You Forever, Finn is doing what many narcissists do: weaponizing Mackenzie's empathetic and loving nature against her. He uses her vulnerability to build an attachment, and then makes her believe that his reactions to her actions are about the ways in which she's not measuring up. DiMatteo said that Mackenzie and Finn's relationship was doomed from the start, because narcissists 'cannot do a normal, healthy relationship,' due to their lack of empathy. 'Most people get caught up because they apply — for lack of a better word — 'normal,' non-narcissist, not disordered, approaches to relationship,' she explained, 'when really, for the narcissist person, there are whole different guidelines.' If you find yourself in a relationship with this kind of person, DiMatteo said that ending the relationship is ideal, as couples counseling is not typically recommended because narcissists are often able to manipulate the therapist. But she noted that it can be difficult for people to even realize they're in a relationship with a narcissist. Binensztok said that 'sometimes our friends tell us in subtle ways — like saying, 'Oh wow, that's kind of strange that he's texting you so much.' It doesn't mean you have to take everything they say at face value, but if it starts to become a pattern — like someone repeatedly interrupting important things for you — it's worth stepping back and considering what's really going on.' Solve the daily Crossword
Irish Times
28-07-2025
- Irish Times
Man who restricted wife's food and home heating gets 12-month suspended sentence, court hears
A man who restricted his wife's food and limited the heating in their home has been given a suspended sentence for coercive control and assault. The Central Circuit Criminal Court heard the man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, pleaded guilty to one count of assault causing harm on or about January 27th, 2020, at their Dublin home. He also pleaded guilty to one count of coercive control. Det Sgt Stephen McDonald told Shane Costelloe SC, prosecuting, that a jury was empanelled earlier this year and a trial began. READ MORE After the opening speeches, the defence team handed over a 'tranche' of material that had been downloaded and translated for the defence team. This material included voice notes and messages. The man agreed to enter pleas to the two charges and this was accepted by the victim. The court heard the couple had an arranged marriage in 2019. The woman gave up her high-level job and moved to Ireland where her husband had lived most of his life. The woman felt isolated from her extended family and did not have any friends in Ireland. The man travelled for work and would be away for long periods of time. The woman would stay with his brother and mother while he was away. Their marriage became fraught, as well as the relationship with her in-laws. A security system was in place in the home with cameras placed both externally and internally. These cameras fed back to an app on the man's phone. The court heard the charge of coercive control was a result of the woman being left isolated in the house and being told that she should remain inside. She felt that her husband was micromanaging her daily activities. Her daily food intake was restricted along with the heating in the house. She began to feel physically and mentally unwell and had no financial independence. On or about January 27th, 2020, there was a verbal altercation between the then-couple, which resulted in the man grabbing the woman by the arm and twisting it behind her back, resulting in pain, swelling and bruising. In a statement, the woman told the court: 'I lived life in colour. 'I had a lot of friends. I was a very happy person. 'When I was 27, I got married to this person. I can't even say his name.' 'No one would ever recognise me as the girl I was in (her native country), he destroyed her, and I miss myself,' she said. 'I will never forgive him.' Mr Justice Kerida Naidoo accepted the assault was not premeditated. He said comparing this case to other similar cases, that thiswas 'on the lower part of the spectrum'. He imposed a sentence of six months for the assault and a concurrent term of 12 months for the coercive control, before he suspended the 12-month term in full on strict conditions for two years.
