Latest news with #domestichelper
Independent Singapore
14 hours ago
- General
- Independent Singapore
Maid says, ‘I get irritated when my male employer wears just boxers around me; he should wear proper sleeping clothes or shorts instead'
SINGAPORE: In a refreshingly candid and hilariously uncomfortable post in the domestic helper community, one brave helper has spoken up about something many probably suffer in silence — the dangling discomfort of male bosses in boxers. 'Dear employer, I don't know if I'm the only one who has experienced this,' she began, hinting that the following confession wasn't for the faint of heart. She then dropped the bomb: 'My boss is a man and has one child. Every morning I wake them up. I get irritated when I turn on the light because my boss doesn't even wear proper shorts.' That sounds tolerable—until it wasn't. 'He always wears boxers, and I can see his private parts.' Apparently, this is not a one-time peekaboo incident. According to the post, the male employer has made a casual habit of lounging around the house in his boxers — no modesty, no coverage, and no care in the world. The helper continues, 'Sometimes he sits in the living room with his legs raised, and his private parts are out.' Cue the collective cringe. The maid ended her plea with an earnest suggestion to fellow employers: 'I just want to remind our madams here that you should make your husband wear proper shorts.' The response from the Facebook group… well, let's just say it was a mix of solidarity and comic relief. The post was flooded with 'Haha' reactions, with expressions echoing agreement. However, underneath the laughter lies a real issue: basic decency in shared domestic spaces. Helpers — mostly women — live under the same roof as their employers, and while they may be there for work, they still deserve a respectful and dignified environment. Walking around the house dressed as if you're in a men's locker room does not create a healthy professional setting for anyone. The post has sparked a broader, if still whispered, conversation: Should there be guidelines for employers on home attire, especially when domestic workers live in the same space? While there are clear Ministry of Manpower (MOM) regulations regarding wages, rest days, and accommodations, we could not find an official dress code for employers who employ a domestic helper in their homes, so perhaps it's time we at least had an unspoken rule: 'If you wouldn't wear it in front of your in-laws, don't wear it in front of your helper.' It's worth noting that the helper wasn't being malicious or trying to shame her employer. Her tone remained respectful, albeit clearly frustrated. Her post struck a chord because it highlighted a reality that many might be too embarrassed to talk about, but clearly deal with in silence. In a culture where modesty and respect often go hand in hand, this helper's plea was more than a humorous rant. It was a call for common sense, decency, and a little effort to create a less awkward, more professional home environment. So, to all the madams reading this: you may want to add 'proper shorts for your husband' to your next NTUC grocery list. Because no one should have to start their workday with someone else's anatomy as their morning greeting.
Independent Singapore
14 hours ago
- Independent Singapore
Employer discovers maid threw household items out the window, asks if incident can be reported to police
SINGAPORE: An employer was shocked after discovering through CCTV footage that her domestic helper had thrown household items out of a window. She shared the incident in the 'MDW in Singapore' Facebook group on Sunday (Jul 27), explaining that she had been trying to locate several items that had mysteriously gone missing from her home. Although the items were not particularly expensive, she emphasised that they were essential to her family's daily routine and that replacing them had been both inconvenient and frustrating. She said she had questioned the helper multiple times about the missing items, hoping for an explanation or even a clue as to where they might have gone. However, each time, the helper insisted she had no knowledge of them. Suspecting something was amiss, the employer reviewed the CCTV recordings and was disturbed by what she saw. 'I was shocked to see that she threw it away at the window. She did it in a careful manner…to appear like she was just staring out of the window…but CCTV still captured everything when she touched it and pushed it out of the window,' the employer explained. She added that the incident was especially unexpected, as the helper had always come across as 'respectful, frail-looking, mild-mannered, and cheerful.' 'We really need to be vigilant and not let looks deceive us,' she wrote. The employer also shared that the incident occurred shortly after the family had attempted to make peace with the helper following a prior disagreement. 'There was a misunderstanding with her a few days ago… But we even took the first step to make it right with her even if it's not entirely our fault. We even prayed for her and shared something about God with her, and this incident (throwing away the things) happened like 30 mins after the prayer… Which is so odd…' Seeking advice from the community, she asked whether the incident could be reported to the police. 'Can this be reported to police? So far, I have not decided to take action, and it is unlikely for me to do so… However, it's good to know my options in case this happens again…. because the item thrown is not expensive (quite cheap), but money is still money,' she said. 'If I report to police…I don't even know if this is too simple to be reported…and maybe they will find me a nuisance…' 'Please take action and don't give a chance.' Other employers who responded to the post shared similar experiences with their own domestic helpers and encouraged her to consider finding a replacement. One wrote, 'I had some previous helpers who did similar. Throw wanted good things away purposely. It's like their way of being vindictive. I've learnt over the years that such behaviour is a huge red flag. Crime usually only escalates. Believe that they are the person that they show you.' Another commented, 'Please take action and don't give a chance. If you let her off, she'll just do it again, if not to you, then her next employer.' A third added, 'Throwing things out like that is spiteful, not innocent. Some people hide behind a sweet face, but actions don't lie. You have every right to protect your home. Don't second-guess that.' On the other hand, some others suggested that if the employer still wished to continue the working relationship, she should have an open and honest conversation with the helper. One said, 'If you like her and still want her around, you must sit her down to chat with the CCTV evidence. Explain to her that this will be the first and last conversation you'll have with her about it, and if it happens again, she will be fired.' How to handle a dispute with your domestic helper The Ministry of Manpower (MOM) recommends that employers take the following steps when dealing with a dispute or misunderstanding: Communicate your issues. Instead of reacting out of anger or ignoring the problem, take the time to sit down with your helper in a quiet setting. Have an open and honest conversation. Allow her to share her side of the story without interruption, and try to listen with an open mind. At the same time, explain your concerns clearly and respectfully so she understands where you are coming from. Reach out for help. If having an honest conversation doesn't help settle things, you can reach out to your employment agency (EA) for support. If the issue still isn't resolved, groups like the Association of Employment Agencies (Singapore) or the Centre for Domestic Employees are also there to offer guidance. Report the incident. If you suspect your helper has committed a criminal offence, report the matter to the authorities. Employers are advised not to take matters into their own hands. Read also: 'I never even thought of running away' — Maid upset after employer refuses to give her a two-month salary advance of S$1.2k
Independent Singapore
3 days ago
- General
- Independent Singapore
‘All I hear is shouting, bullying, and verbal abuse' — Helper says she's been mistreated since day one
SINGAPORE: A domestic helper has taken to social media to share her distressing experience working for a Singaporean family, claiming that she has been subjected to 'shouting, bullying and verbal abuse' since the day she arrived. In her post on the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper Facebook group, the helper said she was hired about two months ago and was initially hopeful about the job. 'When she [my employer] interviewed me, she kept texting me to come and join her family,' she wrote. 'At that time, [I had two other potential] employers, but it wasn't urgent, so I thought she liked me because she hoped I could join them.' Unfortunately, things took a turn the moment she stepped into the household. 'From the first day I came to this house, all I hear is shouting, bullying and verbal abuse. Honestly, I just want to work, save money, and go home. No play or anything else,' she said. She added that more recently, her employer suddenly told her, 'I don't like you,' which left her confused and upset. 'If she didn't like me, why did she keep asking me to come?' she asked. 'I can't take this, and I asked her to send me back to my hometown. Employers, can you help me with this situation? What should I do? Why is [she] like this?' 'This is already mental abuse.' In the comments, one netizen encouraged the helper to try having an open and respectful conversation with her employer to understand the root of the problem. 'Have you tried to ask your employer why she is not happy with you so you can work on it? Sometimes, maybe she is stressed at work and takes it out on you. But if you check in with her like, 'Is there anything I can do better or improve?' maybe she will realise that she is lashing out at you a lot.' Building on this, another netizen recommended that the helper consider requesting a transfer to a different employer rather than immediately asking to return home. 'What was the situation that led to her saying she doesn't like you? Might be better to ask her (or any family member who can make decisions) for a transfer because sending you back to your hometown costs her a ticket, and she might not want to pay also.' Meanwhile, a third commenter urged the helper to prioritise her well-being, writing, 'This is already mental abuse!!! It's better to go home first, take a breath, [rest] for a while, and then apply for new jobs through an agency. Hopefully, you'll get a good employer.' Help for abused FDWs As stated on the A.C.T Against Violence website, foreign domestic workers who are experiencing abuse, whether verbal, physical or in the form of labour exploitation, may report the matter to the police or call the FDW Helpline on 1800 339 5505 to speak with an officer from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM). See also Maid made to work while standing for 17 hours They may also reach out to non-governmental organisations such as the Humanitarian Organisation for Migrant Economics (HOME), the Centre for Domestic Employees (CDE), and the Foreign Domestic Worker Association for Social Support and Training (FAST). Read also: Fresh grad whose salary expectation is only S$2.8k–3k says he's still struggling to land a job
Independent Singapore
3 days ago
- General
- Independent Singapore
Maid guide for Singapore employers: How to talk and support your helper without drama and losing your mind (or hers)
SINGAPORE: So, how do you go from 'Where's the mop kept?' to 'Everything's under control, Ma'am'? The secret sauce to that, according to The Everyday People , is structured training, clear communication, and a healthy dash of patience. Hiring a domestic helper might feel like you've just added a superpower to your home life , but even superheroes need training, especially when they land in a household where the rules of engagement, the taste buds, and even the cleaning products are all unfamiliar territory to them. Photo: Depositphotos/ DragonImages (for illustration purposes only) It's no surprise that more than half of Singaporean households experience strain when it comes to managing chores and caregiving. These findings, as reported also in our numerous news stories in The Independent Singapore , underscore the need for smoother onboarding when a new helper joins your home team. 👂 First, get to know her backstory Before tossing her the keys to the rice cooker and the toddler, take a pause. What's her background? Has she handled kids before? Does she know how to work with elderly folks? Is she familiar with the dark magic of cleaning a glass hob without scratching it? Photo: Freepik (for illustration purposes only) Even if she's come through a reputable maid agency in Singapore, don't assume one-size-fits-all training. Customising the onboarding to suit your household is the equivalent of giving her a GPS instead of a paper map. 📋 Lay it all out — clearly and kindly Nobody likes being yelled at because they couldn't read your mind. Sit down together and outline the duties , including daily, weekly, and monthly tasks . Write them down. Better yet, print a cute checklist with emojis. That way, both parties know what 'clean the bathroom' really means (spoiler: it involves more than just a rinse). Photo: Vecteezy/Anusak Rojpeetipongsakorn Whether it's separating laundry, prepping lunchboxes, or wiping tiny fingerprints off the windows, clarity is queen. 🧽 Show how to do it, don't just tell Saying, 'just clean the fridge,' is about as helpful as saying, 'just build a car.' Instead, demonstrate the task: how you like the veggies arranged, which setting the washing machine goes on, and how to disinfect countertops without turning them into crime scenes. Photo: Depositphotos/ Kitzcorner (for illustration purposes only) Learning by doing is the golden rule. You're not just teaching chores — you're transferring culture, values, and preferences, and yes, even teaching your secret sambal recipe. 🔁 Feedback is a two-way street Encourage your helper to speak up. Maybe she's confused about a routine or struggling with a new gadget that looks like a spaceship. Maybe she's homesick. Photo: Vecteezy/Kanokpol Prasankhamphaibun Regular check-ins help identify blind spots early and show that her voice matters. When she feels heard, she's more confident. When you listen, you learn how to support her better. Win-win. 🎓 Call in the pros If the learning curve looks more like Mount Everest, don't panic. Singapore offers a buffet of professional maid training courses. From first aid and baby care to whipping up meals that would make Gordon Ramsay nod in approval, these programs can fill in the gaps. See also Maid wants to stay in SG after employer cancels her Work Permit Photo: HIH/Help is Here Some maid agencies even offer refresher classes or targeted sessions to match your household's specific needs. Think of it as 'Helper 2.0'. 💛 Create a home for them, not just a workplace Your maid didn't just switch jobs — she moved countries, cultures, and comfort zones. Simple gestures go a long way. Praise her when she gets it right. Eat meals together, even if just occasionally. Invite her to join family outings (if she's comfortable). These aren't perks — they're pathways to trust. Photo: Vecteezy/Anusak Rojpeetipongsakorn Because once she feels safe and respected, she'll give you her best work, and that's when magic happens. 🛠 Tap into agency support The best maid agencies in Singapore don't disappear after the placement. They're there for the long game. If you're facing persistent issues or are unsure how to handle a training hiccup, give them a call. Many offer post-placement services, additional workshops, or even mediation if things get tense. Photo: Unsplash/tommao wang Treat them not just as middlemen, but as part of your support team. 📌 Pro tips for training success If you want to make the process even smoother than a steamed chee cheong fun, then try these tips: Break complex tasks into bite-sized steps Use clear, simple language ; add visuals or consider translation if needed Be consistent with routines and instructions Set realistic timelines for learning Leave printed or pictorial instructions around the house for easy reference 🏡 Training builds harmony Helping your maid adjust isn't just about delegation — it's about collaboration. With the right mix of hands-on training, open communication, empathy, and professional support, your helper can evolve from just being a 'new hire' to becoming your 'household's most valuable player or MVP' in no time. Remember: a well-trained, happy helper means fewer hiccups, more harmony, and possibly even the occasional home-cooked surprise waiting for you after a long day at work. Photo: Vecteezy/Kanokpol Prasankhamphaibun And if you're in the early stages of hiring or just welcomed someone new, here's your cue: Don't just expect her to know what to do. Train her. Support her. Respect her. It'll really pay off in chores done well, and in creating a home where everyone feels safe, valued, and like they belong. And perhaps, with that kind of care and dignity offered, no helper will ever again have to feel the pain through their silent sacrifices captured in the below heartbreaking reality: Domestic helpers in Singapore: 'We left our own children behind to raise yours, but you treat us like second-class citizens, without even basic dignity.'
Independent Singapore
3 days ago
- General
- Independent Singapore
Maid says, 'I don't understand how to deal with Singapore employers; work slow also wrong, work fast also wrong'
Photo: Depositphotos/motortion SINGAPORE: 'Work slow also wrong, work fast also wrong,' that's the poetic lament of a foreign domestic helper in Singapore who took to Facebook to air her frustrations in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper group. 'I don't understand how to deal with Singapore employers,' she began, exasperated. 'Looks like they're the one perfect human in the world.' Her sin this time? Sweeping the floor too fast. Yes, too fast! 'My boss says that I am working too fast, thinking it's not clean,' she wrote. But just the day before, she had been reprimanded for working 'so long' to clean the master bedroom. The conclusion? 'Fast wrong, slow also wrong.' And the post didn't just sweep the floor, it swept through the emotions of many fellow maids, sparking a virtual vent-fest of shared agony. It's the kind of paradox that would make absurdist writer Kafka proud but make moral and social order philosopher Confucius confused. 'Ask your employer to hire a robot…' As soon as her post went live, a flood of empathetic comments rolled in. One netizen, perhaps armed with equal parts sass and sarcasm, declared: 'Ask your employer to hire a robot so that she can nag on her own.' Another added, with the seasoned tone of someone who has swept more than just floors, 'Depends on the employer, sister. I work so fast that later, there's nothing to do, and the employer says I'm not working. If I work slowly, I let the employer see me working. Different employer, different rules.😞😒' Some helpers shared their personal solutions to this Goldilocks conundrum: work fast and clean. Sounds simple enough, but it's easier said than done when some employers act like they're running a military camp, minus the free weekends. One witty comment summed it up with: 'Perfectionist employers. Never and never get it wrong with them, but if they do wrong, they will almost never accept it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣' 'If working fast, then the work must be clean…' But not all were ready to throw their feather dusters in defeat. One helper proudly claimed she never faced complaints in her 16-year career: 'Because I do my work with heart,' she said. 'If working fast, then the work must be clean… if it's not clean, the employer might nag.' Another shared her success formula: repeat the same tasks every day, long enough until even with her 'eyes closed,' she could finish her work 'in a flash.' Her secret is 'I don't like being micromanaged. But if I do things on my own, I do well. So I really appreciate my employer who doesn't care how I do things fast or slow, as long as it's clean.' And the reward is a clean house, a happy child, and, surprisingly, no deductions from her salary. 'I work so fast, but my employer still deducts S$50 from my salary…' Unfortunately, not everyone is that lucky. One comment stood out like a mop in a washing machine: 'After telling me that I work so fast, she deducted S$50 from my salary… Now my salary is less than S$50. Weird employer, right?' The helper admits she could call the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), but in a twist of kindness, she thinks her employer may be struggling financially. So she lets karma sweep up the mess instead. 'At the end of the day, I believe in karma,' she wrote. And perhaps a little faith is all you need when common sense has gone missing in action. 'Demanding that we must be clean, but they (employers) themselves are dirty' Many pointed out the double standards from their employer, with one saying: 'Demanding that we must be clean, but they themselves are dirty. Just cook one pack of noodles, use all the tools until the kitchen is messy.' Another said employers often 'take it for granted,' treating helpers like house elves with magic instead of treating them as normal human beings. 'They don't want to care about their servants. Even though their servants have tried their best for them.' One comment stood out in its poetic punch: 'Perfectionist… but they're not perfect 😂😂😂 I'm talking about my employer 🤣🤣🤣.' Adjust, adapt, or abandon? The recurring advice from long-timers is to adapt and adjust. Or if that fails, just leave. 'Every house has its own uniqueness. As a maid, we can only adapt and simply adjust,' said one. Another gave this sobering reality check: 'Here in SG, there are many people with that kind of attitude. They think they are perfect… They don't think that without a helper, they will have a hard time working properly. They think your salary is more important than your life.' Despite all that, some helpers still choose to stay — enduring complaints, deductions, and perfectionist micromanagement — for the sake of a stable salary, or maybe even out of quiet compassion. A final sweep In the end, the original poster's complaint isn't just about brooms and bosses. It's about a deeper struggle — the thankless balancing act of meeting expectations that are often contradictory and impossible. Fast, and you're lazy. Slow, and you're inefficient. Do everything, and still get scolded. Do nothing, and… well, actually, don't try that one. But as some helpers wisely observed, the secret to survival might just be this: 'Close one ear. If you can't stand them, just find another that can make us feel comfortable and happy,' because… whether you're sweeping the floor or sweeping through emotional landmines, a little peace of mind goes a long way. In other news, another foreign domestic helper took to Facebook to sound off about her long hours, short sleep, and missing money, sparking a flurry of 'same here's, sympathy, and a few blunt replies that basically amounted to: 'Well, just leave lah.' Her post, made in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper Facebook group, struck a nerve with many others. 'Employer wants me to wake up [early] and work on time. But [she] never let me sleep on time,' she wrote in a raw, straight-from-the-heart message. You can read her full plight over here: Maid says, 'My employer wants me to wake up early and work on time, but she never lets me sleep on time' () => { const trigger = if ('IntersectionObserver' in window && trigger) { const observer = new IntersectionObserver((entries, observer) => { => { if ( { lazyLoader(); // You should define lazyLoader() elsewhere or inline here // Run once } }); }, { rootMargin: '800px', threshold: 0.1 }); } else { // Fallback setTimeout(lazyLoader, 3000); } });
