Latest news with #exclusion
Irish Times
19-05-2025
- General
- Irish Times
‘My 10-year-old is being ostracised by her group of friends. Should I email the other parents?'
Question My 10-year-old girl is being excluded in school. She had a group of five friends (including a best friend who she has known since she was a toddler) and all was fine until about two years ago when another girl joined the group and started to try to push my girl out. There was a couple of incidents in the yard where she was physically pushing my daughter away from the group. I tried to speak to the girl's mother, but that did not go well and she was really defensive. We eventually told the teacher, who seemed to sort things out in the yard. From that time, this girl (and her mother) has not forgiven my daughter and has been excluding her. Last week we discovered that the group had been arranging outings without including my daughter. Even her original best friend has been involved in this and the other girl now says she is now the best friend and they don't talk to my daughter in the yard. My daughter is obviously very upset about this, and I am very angry about how she is being treated. We met the teacher and the principal and she said she would do a workshop with the class on friendships and include everyone. I don't know if this is enough. READ MORE My husband and I are wondering about emailing the other parents on the group to explain what is going on and how our girl is being treated. We have also wondered about changing our daughter's class as she has two friends in another class (who she knows from GAA) but that would be disruptive to my daughter when she is the victim of all of this. My daughter is particularly upset at the loss of her best friend. One of the other mothers confided to us that she thinks the whole friendship group has become a bit 'toxic'. What actions should we take to help our daughter? Answer Being excluded from a friendship group you belonged to can be very hurtful, and your daughter has experienced the added pain of losing a best friend in the process. You are right to take your time to think how to respond. As you have discovered, contacting other parents can sometimes escalate friendship disputes (unless you know the other parents well and do this in a very sensitive manner). In my experience, parents get very defensive with any mention that their child might be a bully, and frequently parents get sucked into their children's disputes. As a result a letter to all the parents might make things worse. [ Bullying: School days can be the best days of your life – but what about when they're not? Opens in new window ] While most schoolchildren organise themselves in large friendship groups, these can easily become toxic and exclusionary as young children don't have the social skills to manage conflicts and frequently behave in a 'mean way' towards each other. The peak age for friendship disputes is about 10-13 before the children start to mature and learn better social skills. How you can help you daughter? The first step is to support your daughter emotionally. Acknowledge how hard it can be if you feel excluded and how painful it can feel if a 'best friend' starts spending more time with another child. However, be careful about over-reacting and being angry on her behalf. Instead, try to give your daughter perspective. Explain how friendships can move on and change, and children become closer to different children at different times. Explain that though children are sometimes mean and behave badly, this doesn't mean there is anything wrong with your daughter and that she deserves to be with good friends who treat her well. [ 'Mum, I'm so lonely at school. Nobody speaks to me all day' Opens in new window ] Explore ways forward The next step is to explore solutions with your daughter. If the group dynamic is toxic, would it help to arrange one-to-one play dates with your daughter individually? You could support her on an outing with the original best friend or in a threesome with another girl in the group. However, it is also worth considering whether it is best for your daughter to 'move on' and to build friendships outside the group? In that instance, you could help her identify other children in the class who might be potential friends as well as supporting her connections with the two GAA friends from the other class. In my experience the best approach is not to do anything dramatic such as completely breaking off contact. Instead I encourage children to pull back their energy from the friendship they are hurt by (but to not burn bridges in the process) and in parallel to focus on building new connections, enjoying new activities and seeking new friendships. Work with the school Continue to work positively with the school about the issue. The workshop on friendship might help the class be more inclusive. Also, the teacher may be able to help you identify other potential friendships for your daughter in the class as well as supporting her to make these connections. The teacher may also be able to subtly manage classroom dynamics and particularly yard time so your daughter feels more included. Structured activities, pairing children creatively in projects, changing the class set up etc can all help move things on. John Sharry is clinical director of the Parents Plus Charity and an adjunct professor at the UCD School of Psychology.
Yahoo
18-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
School plan for children at risk of exclusion
A new school is aiming to support children at risk of exclusion at a time of "significant demand". Wolverhampton-based Pathfinder Education has submitted a planning application to convert a commercial premises at The Gatehouse on Well Lane. If approved, it would provide full-time and part-time education for a maximum of 15 children and young people aged 11–16. All of them would be at risk of exclusion and disengagement from mainstream education and receive help with complex needs, according to documents supporting the planning application. Director Stu Evans said the alternative provision would be managed by suitably qualified and experienced education professionals. "The aim is to deliver a supportive, structured and inclusive learning environment where young people can re-engage with education and develop both academically and personally," he said. "These students require smaller learning environments and tailored support to thrive." The application claimed nearby communities would benefit from reduced anti-social behaviour, adding the small scale of the provision would not result in adverse impact on traffic or noise. The application will be considered by the City of Wolverhampton Council in the coming weeks. Follow BBC Wolverhampton & Black Country on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram. Pathfinder Education City of Wolverhampton Council
Yahoo
18-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
School plan for children at risk of exclusion
A new school is aiming to support children at risk of exclusion at a time of "significant demand". Wolverhampton-based Pathfinder Education has submitted a planning application to convert a commercial premises at The Gatehouse on Well Lane. If approved, it would provide full-time and part-time education for a maximum of 15 children and young people aged 11–16. All of them would be at risk of exclusion and disengagement from mainstream education and receive help with complex needs, according to documents supporting the planning application. Director Stu Evans said the alternative provision would be managed by suitably qualified and experienced education professionals. "The aim is to deliver a supportive, structured and inclusive learning environment where young people can re-engage with education and develop both academically and personally," he said. "These students require smaller learning environments and tailored support to thrive." The application claimed nearby communities would benefit from reduced anti-social behaviour, adding the small scale of the provision would not result in adverse impact on traffic or noise. The application will be considered by the City of Wolverhampton Council in the coming weeks. Follow BBC Wolverhampton & Black Country on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram. Pathfinder Education City of Wolverhampton Council
BBC News
18-05-2025
- Business
- BBC News
Wolverhampton school for children at risk of exclusion planned
A new school is aiming to support children at risk of exclusion at a time of "significant demand". Wolverhampton-based Pathfinder Education has submitted a planning application to convert a commercial premises at The Gatehouse on Well Lane. If approved, it would provide full-time and part-time education for a maximum of 15 children and young people aged 11– of them would be at risk of exclusion and disengagement from mainstream education and receive help with complex needs, according to documents supporting the planning application. Director Stu Evans said the alternative provision would be managed by suitably qualified and experienced education professionals. "The aim is to deliver a supportive, structured and inclusive learning environment where young people can re-engage with education and develop both academically and personally," he said. "These students require smaller learning environments and tailored support to thrive." The application claimed nearby communities would benefit from reduced anti-social behaviour, adding the small scale of the provision would not result in adverse impact on traffic or noise. The application will be considered by the City of Wolverhampton Council in the coming weeks. Follow BBC Wolverhampton & Black Country on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram.
Daily Mail
15-05-2025
- Health
- Daily Mail
Revealed: The heartbreaking five-word question nine-year-old boy asked his mum when he was banned from playing footy because of his weight
A nine-year-old boy from South Auckland has been left heartbroken after being informed he cannot play age-grade rugby with his mates because he is too heavy. The child, a Year 4 student, was one of more than 100 young players in the Counties Manukau Rugby Football Union club competition who have applied for a weight dispensation. However, the competition defended its position and said the rules are in place to protect other players. 'He feels terrible and keeps asking why he isn't allowed to play with his friends,' the boy's mother told the New Zealand Herald. Devastated, the boy, who has chosen not to play any winter sports, responded to the news by asking his mother: 'What is wrong with me?' She said her son is now scared to go to school because of the ridicule he could face from other students. Up until Year 3, club rugby has an open weight, but in Year 4, players must weigh less than 45kg. The boy in question weighs 54kg and had his dispensation application knocked back for safety reasons. 'Last year he weighed roughly the same ... So why could he play the last two years and not now with the same kids, who are the same age and same year?' his mother said. 'He has always been naturally tall and built, and while his physical size may be greater, his mental and emotional maturity remains unchanged. 'He is fully aware of his strength and often assists players on the opposing team when they fall and get tackled. 'What is happening now feels like a form of exclusion, singling out children due to their weight. Many children already face social challenges and teasing at school regarding their size, and this decision only reinforces that negativity.' Counties Manukau Rugby Football Union community rugby boss Matt Megaw said the boy's situation is a complex issue and acknowledged how tough it had been for the youngster. 'At Counties Manukau Rugby, we care deeply about the wellbeing of all our players, and it's never our intention for a child to feel excluded or disheartened when it comes to participating in our game,' Megaw said. 'That said, there are processes and structures in place across our junior rugby framework that are agreed upon by our junior clubs collectively and administered by the junior rugby committee.'
