Latest news with #forgiveness
Yahoo
10 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Life isn't fair or easy, but forgiveness and love help us move forward
Life is not always fair. I know people who are or have been in difficult situations. Often forgiveness and love help them in navigating life. That means self-forgiveness, too. I listened to a person share that they can forgive others much easier than they can forgive themselves. This reminds me of a picture of a boxing ring with only one person in it. The person is taking a pummeling, but they are beating themselves up. Not that each of us should not own our piece of a situation, but I find people can be hard on themselves. When I was 31, I entered therapy for the first time. I was so sad. It was a feeling that I had dug a deep hole for myself that I could never dig out of. I shared with the therapist all the mistakes I had made. She pointed out the good qualities she recognized in me. When she did this, I became uncomfortable. She then told me that I let in negatives and filter out positives. I share this story often. The message is, Do not filter out positives. When people receive positive feedback, an initial reaction can be deflection. I say to someone what a good job they are doing, and the response might be, 'It is nothing,' or, 'Anyone would do the same thing,' or, 'It was luck.' I then encourage the person to say 'thank you' without deflecting the positive. As I also often share, it takes hearing three positives to one negative for a person to feel good. A person will never feel good if they do not let in the positives. Forgiveness fits in this space. Yes, one can regret the past and learn from it, but to move forward, forgiveness is important. It is by forgiving others that we learn how to forgive ourselves. Another word that ties in here is love. A statement heard in the rooms of recovery is, We will love you until you learn to love yourself. This statement is so powerful. It is what we're called to do for others and for ourselves. A few tips: You do not have to be alone. Reach out to others for help. Yes, it is good to be self-aware and identify areas to be improved upon and actions to apologize for. However, do not filter out the positives. Here is an exercise I share in meetings: I have people write their name on top of a piece of paper. The papers are then passed around the group. Each person can pass or choose to write something about the person whose paper they have in front of them. When the papers are completed, each person leaves with a list of positives written on their paper. It helps people with their ability to see what is right. Do not hold on to anger or resentment. Forgive yourself and others. Love freely. Do not hold back on letting people know you love them. We will never regret sharing love. We are blessed to be alive. Do your best to live in the now. Each day is a gift to be opened and lived…that's why they call it the present. Quint Studer is the author of 16 books on leadership in the workplace and the community. His book Building a Vibrant Community is a valuable resource for civic leaders, business owners, and all citizens who have a stake in building a community they can be proud to call home. In Sundays with Quint, he shares a selection of his popular leadership columns for leaders, employees, and business owners in all industries. He can be reached at Quint@ This article originally appeared on Pensacola News Journal: Studer Life isn't easy, but forgiveness and love help us move forward
CBS News
2 days ago
- Business
- CBS News
Is credit card debt forgiveness the same as debt settlement?
We may receive commissions from some links to products on this page. Promotions are subject to availability and retailer terms. There are multiple credit card debt relief options that borrowers should consider exploring if they can't repay all that they owe. Getty Images The idea that borrowers may be able to have some of their credit card debt forgiven is naturally appealing. But in the economic climate of recent years, this possibility has become particularly powerful. Thanks to a combination of higher interest rates on borrowing products, a stubborn (if significantly cooled) inflation rate and hard-to-predict economic policies and changes, many Americans have turned to credit cards to make ends meet. But credit cards haven't been immune to market conditions, with rates here rising to a record 23% last fall (they've only come down slightly since). That's made the average credit card debt of approximately $8,000 particularly difficult to pay down and has resulted in many borrowers exploring their debt relief options. Credit card debt forgiveness, in which borrowers could see 30% to 50% of their balance forgiven, can be especially advantageous in this climate. To understand how it works and the qualifications, however, it's important to clarify a few items. One important one starts by defining what credit card debt forgiveness is (and what it isn't). Below, we'll complete that analysis and, importantly, help you determine if this is the right debt relief solution for your circumstances. Start by checking your credit card debt relief qualifications here. Is credit card debt forgiveness the same as debt settlement? Credit card debt forgiveness is also known as debt settlement, and they're often viewed the same way by servicers. Technically, credit card debt forgiveness can occur in multiple ways, either through a negotiated debt settlement process, a specific bankruptcy type, or sometimes through a debt management program. You won't be able to have your credit card debt forgiven, however, without first having a debt settlement agreement in place, even though that agreement could be reached via multiple avenues. So, yes, credit card debt forgiveness is often considered the same as debt settlement, although it helps to clarify the definition of each service with the debt relief company in question, as their interpretation of the service could be different than the competitors. Learn more about having your credit card debt forgiven now. How to qualify for credit card debt forgiveness So now that you understand the nuance in the definition between credit card debt forgiveness and debt settlement, you may be wondering about your qualifications. How do you get 30% to 50% of your credit card debt forgiven? Here are the three main qualifications: A credit card debt balance minimum of between $5,000 and $10,000. Being behind on payments (typically the further delinquent A financial hardship These are the main qualifications; however, many debt relief companies may require you to meet more criteria to move forward. So don't automatically assume you'll qualify. Instead, shop around for debt relief companies and research each one's forgiveness criteria to determine which is easiest to qualify for. Compare debt relief companies here to learn more. The bottom line Debt settlement and credit card debt forgiveness are often used interchangeably when discussing credit card debt relief. So don't get confused by their similarities. Instead, take the time to review all of your debt relief options (of which there are many) to better understand how they work, who qualifies and, perhaps most importantly, which one will be most appropriate for your debts. By doing this research now and by understanding the nuances of each approach, you can make the right choice and start the delayed work of regaining your financial freedom.
CBS News
2 days ago
- Business
- CBS News
How to qualify for student loan forgiveness now
We may receive commissions from some links to products on this page. Promotions are subject to availability and retailer terms. There are numerous ways to pursue student loan forgiveness right now — and there are plenty of other options if you don't you have student loans, you've likely noticed just how much the rules around forgiveness have changed lately. From the restart of previously paused payments to sweeping overhauls of repayment plans, the past few years have completely reshaped the way borrowers approach student loan debt. These changes have added another layer of confusion to an already complex system, as programs that once seemed like a sure thing, or options that once seemed out of reach, now come with fine print that's easy to miss. These new rules, along with the shifting eligibility requirements and evolving repayment programs, have left many student loan borrowers feeling uncertain about where they stand and what options they actually have for having their student loan debt forgiven. For some, student loan debt forgiveness may still be within reach, but for others, the path has only gotten more difficult. And with so much noise about who qualifies and what's been rolled back, it's no wonder so many borrowers are left scratching their heads. If you're one of the many who's struggling to keep up with your student loan payments in today's tough economic landscape, a good place to start in today's landscape is to know your options, whether you're hoping to qualify for full cancellation or just want to find a more manageable way to repay what you owe. Below, we'll examine what it takes to qualify for student loan forgiveness right now — and what to do if you don't. Chat with a debt relief expert about how to better manage your debt today. How to qualify for student loan forgiveness now First, it's important to understand that federal student loan forgiveness programs only apply to federal student loans. If you have private student loans — those issued by banks, credit unions or online lenders — you're not eligible for federal forgiveness programs. So, knowing which type of loans you have is step one. You can find out by logging in to or checking your loan servicer's website. If you do have federal loans, here are the key forgiveness options available in 2025: Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF) The Public Student Loan Forgiveness program is open to borrowers with direct federal loans who work full-time for a qualifying employer, typically government or nonprofit organizations. After making 120 qualifying monthly payments on an income-driven repayment (IDR) plan, you may be eligible to have your remaining balance forgiven. If your loans aren't already direct loans, you may need to consolidate to qualify. Find out more about your debt relief options online now. Income-Driven Repayment (IDR) Income-driven repayment plans like the Saving on a Valuable Education (SAVE) plan, Income-Based Repayment (IBR) plan, Pay As You Earn (PAYE) repayment plan and Income-Contingent Repayment (ICR) plan calculate your monthly payment based on your income and family size. If you make consistent payments for 20 or 25 years (depending on the plan), the remaining balance can be forgiven. Borrower Defense Loan Discharge program If your school misled you or committed certain legal violations, you may be eligible to have your federal loans forgiven through the Borrower Defense program. This is most relevant for borrowers who attended for-profit institutions that have since shut down or faced legal action. Teacher Loan Forgiveness (TLF) Teachers who work full-time in low-income schools for five consecutive years may qualify for up to $17,500 in federal student loan forgiveness through the Teacher Loan Forgiveness program. This only applies to certain federal loans and can interfere with PSLF eligibility, though, so it's worth weighing which option is more beneficial in the long term. Remember, though, that none of these apply to private student loans. If all your loans are private, you won't qualify for forgiveness, but that doesn't mean you're without options. What to do if you don't qualify for student loan forgiveness There are still ways to manage your student debt and reduce the financial pressure, even if you don't meet federal forgiveness criteria or your loans are private. Here's what to consider if you don't qualify: If you have federal student loans: Switch to an IDR plan: If you're struggling to afford payments, enrolling in an income-driven repayment plan could lower your monthly amount to something more manageable, and even drop your payments to $0 in some cases. So while you may not qualify for forgiveness now, IDR plans still offer forgiveness after a set number of years. If you're struggling to afford payments, enrolling in an income-driven repayment plan could lower your monthly amount to something more manageable, and even drop your payments to $0 in some cases. So while you may not qualify for forgiveness now, IDR plans still offer forgiveness after a set number of years. Consider loan consolidation: If you have older federal loans like FFEL or Perkins loans, consolidating them into a direct consolidation loan might give you access to IDR plans or PSLF, depending on your situation. If you have older federal loans like FFEL or Perkins loans, consolidating them into a direct consolidation loan might give you access to IDR plans or PSLF, depending on your situation. Review deferment or forbearance options: If you're facing a temporary financial hardship, you may qualify for a pause on payments through deferment or forbearance. Be aware, though, that interest may continue to accrue. If you have private student loans: Refinance for better terms: If your credit score refinancing your student loans If Explore lender-specific hardship options: Some private lenders offer hardship programs, temporary payment relief or interest-only payments to those who are struggling financially and need temporary relief. These options aren't widely advertised, though, so call your lender directly and ask what they offer. Some private lenders offer hardship programs, temporary payment relief or interest-only payments to those who are struggling financially and need temporary relief. These options aren't widely advertised, though, so call your lender directly and ask what they offer. Check for employer repayment assistance: Whether your loans are private or federal, more companies now provide student loan repayment benefits as part of their compensation packages. So, it's worth asking your HR department if this is something you can take advantage of. Learn more about your student loan refinance options here. The bottom line The student loan forgiveness landscape is shifting, but forgiveness may still be within reach if you have federal loans and meet specific requirements. But if your loans are private, or if you don't qualify for forgiveness, you aren't necessarily out of luck. There are still ways to make repayment more manageable, from income-driven repayment plans to refinancing and employer support. The key is to know your loan type and take action based on the options available to you.
Washington Post
4 days ago
- General
- Washington Post
Asking Eric: Adult child sides with dad after ‘nasty' divorce
Dear Eric: I am a single, recent college graduate whose parents have just gone through a very nasty divorce. As much as I love them both, there is a 'bad guy' in the whole situation, and it is clearly my mother. She is a successful doctor and was always the primary breadwinner for our family, while my dad has been a stay-at-home dad. After my brother and I left for college, my mother carried on a series of extramarital affairs and ultimately left my father; she has now remarried to her latest fling. They are even attending the same church we went to from the time I was a child. I have gone to counselors who urge me not to pick sides and to maintain a good relationship with both of my parents, but it's kind of hard not to sympathize with my dad (who up to the date of the divorce said he was willing to forgive and forget, and take Mom back) over my mom, who just says she was unfulfilled and wanted a 'new soulmate.' I told my mom I wanted nothing to do with her at the time of the divorce, and up to this day have followed through on that. But I've gotten a lot of advice urging me to forgive her and try to move on in a positive direction. What do you advise? Am I wrong in this? I can't overstate how disappointed I am in my mother's choices which are completely at odds with everything she'd claimed to be, up until a few years ago. — Seeking Clarity Clarity: The emotions you're feeling about the divorce and your mother's actions are likely overwhelmingly complex. So, you have my empathy. You've accumulated a lot of advice, and I doubt I'm the last word. And I'm not going to contradict everything else you've heard. But I think that forgiveness is a step or two beyond where you are right now. It's important to remember that parents are human, that every marriage is unique and that every person has the capacity to give in to their worst instincts and that doesn't make them unworthy of love. And I'm not writing this to defend your mother; I'm referring to both of your parents. Try, if you can, to step away from choosing sides. Instead, see your relationship with each parent as unique. Each relationship has its injuries that need mending. With your mother, you're holding on to this disappointment over the dissolution of your family structure. That's a major injury. And I think you'll continue to feel the hurt of that injury for a long time unless you have a conversation with her wherein you talk about your hurt and give her the opportunity to make amends. It's hard to forgive when no apology has been offered. I don't think you can actually forgive her on behalf of your father. But by refocusing on what's wrong between the two of you, you may find a path forward. It doesn't have to be forgiveness. But I think that you can experience more peace. Dear Eric: I wanted to add to your response to 'Super Crush,' the married letter writer who developed a crush on someone who works at her local grocery. This is something that helped me tremendously when I felt the same thing 25 years ago, as a young wife and mother who totally was in love with her husband. At the time, I was completely shocked at myself and took no pleasure in my crush whatsoever. I didn't want it, I knew the person wasn't right for me, there was nothing that explained it. After researching it at the time, I found a book titled 'Anatomy of Love' by Helen Fisher. One of the things it explained was how a crush out of nowhere is a primal experience in our brain that is caused by the chemicals in one's brain, not because we have found our soulmate. This person's crush probably has nothing to do with the grocery employee, but everything to do with a rush of brain chemicals that happened to occur in their particular brain coincidentally at that moment and in that space. This helped calm me at the time and allowed me to continue meeting with him (a physical therapist) to get the medical care I needed. I was able to remind myself that this was just some overactive production of dopamine that meant nothing, and that I did not have to act on it. It was not easy, but after a few months the feeling went away. — Been There Been There: Dr. Fisher's book is a very interesting resource and, to your point, might calm the letter writer's nerves. Sometimes a crush is just a crush. (Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@ or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at 2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
Daily Mail
4 days ago
- General
- Daily Mail
Surprising scenes in court between an Aussie tourist and Bali security guards involved in wild brawl at a world famous beach club
An Aussie tourist who faces up to five years behind bars in Bali over a violent brawl has forgiven the security guards he's accused of assaulting. Mohamed Rifai, 27, from Sydney 's south-west, appeared Denpasar District Court on Tuesday to continue his testimony about the February 11 melee. He and eight security guards remain in custody over the brawl outside Finns Beach Club in north Kuta which involved up to 15 security staff and five Australian tourists. Rifai claimed he acted in self-defence while he was allegedly attacked by the security guards after they escorted his friend John Ebid from the club. He is accused of inflicting major injuries on security staff, including Made Bagus Yohanandita, who suffered head injuries and lost several teeth. In a surprise twist, Rifai shook hands and embraced all eight co-accused security guards in front of the judge after giving evidence against them on Tuesday. At the end of his testimony, the judge asked Rifai, 'Will you forgive them?', referring to the guards who were also standing trial. 'Yes, I will,' Rifai said. The judge responded: 'Please, all of you forgive each other. During his victim testimony, Rifai recalled how by Mr Ebid's removal. 'I was in the main pool and saw my friend being taken out so I approached him (a security guard),' he told the court. 'I asked what happened and he said to let him take him (Mr Ebid) but then they did the same thing to me.' When asked if the security used any weapons, Rifai claimed they used bamboo. '(I was hit) in my face, my head, almost all my body,' he said. 'They kicked my stomach also.' Rifai added he had been to Finns Beach Club 'several times' with family and friends and had 'never had a bad experience before'. Rifai is facing five years in Indonesian jail for the injuries security guard Made Bagus Yohanandita suffered in the alleged fight The eight security guards charged over the brawl are I Gede Laksemana Aryawan, I Gusti Putu Agus Surya Negara, Wayan Alit Junaedi, I Made Ivan Darma Saputra, I Nengah Dading Gunadi, I Gede Ngurah Alit Sujana, I Ketut Gede Mawantara and I Nyoman Mertayasa. 'I' is a common prefix used to indicate the person is a male, compared to 'Ni' which is used for women. The court heard all eight security guards and Rifai had signed a 'peace agreement', witnessed by police, following the brawl. The eight staff have been charged with assault causing minor injuries and each face up to two years and eight months behind bars if found guilty. Rifai faces five years in Indonesian jail for the injuries Mr Yohanandita suffered in the altercation. However he claims it was another security guard who laid the damaging blow. When Rifai was asked who he hit and how many punches he threw on February 11, he said 'everything was chaos'. 'I don't remember. Many people attacked me, I just tried to defend myself,' he told the court. 'I feel sorry for what I have done because the situation was chaos at that time.' Rifai's trial will continue on June 3. It's understood the apologies exchanged between the parties in court on Tuesday could lead to lighter sentences if convicted.
