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My dying husband told our son some hurtful things. How do I comfort him?
My dying husband told our son some hurtful things. How do I comfort him?

Washington Post

timea day ago

  • Health
  • Washington Post

My dying husband told our son some hurtful things. How do I comfort him?

My husband recently died. He was at home in hospice under heavy pain meds and not eating or drinking. My son told me his father, in this condition, made hurtful comments to him. I do not know what the comments were. How can I help my son? This is a very painful situation. It's always hard to be critiqued by a parent, but it's even harder when those are some of their last words. Your son doesn't get a chance to ask more questions or mend the rupture. He's left confused and holding onto the hurt. Now, you are trying to ease that pain.

Somerset hospice nurse releases poetry book about patient stories
Somerset hospice nurse releases poetry book about patient stories

BBC News

timea day ago

  • Health
  • BBC News

Somerset hospice nurse releases poetry book about patient stories

A hospice nurse has written a book of poetry based on emotional and inspiring patient Durman, who works at St Margaret's Hospice in Taunton, Somerset, said she uses poetry as an outlet to help "keep the emotional burnout at bay".The 39-year-old said writing was not only cathartic for her, but served as a "tribute and testament" to the grieving families she supports."Every shift we work kind of builds up in us," she said. "That's why I'm so glad to have poetry to be able to express those feelings and write them down." Her book, Ghosts of Nightshifts Past, will be launched at Brendan Books in Taunton on Thursday. Ms Durman originally studied for a degree in writing, but "wanted a change of pace" after moving to the UK from the US in 2011."I just felt I had something to give people and I wanted to help," she told BBC Radio began her career in the "fast-paced and challenging" wards of the emergency department at Musgrove Hospital, but soon turned her attention towards end-of-life care."It is really hard to detach emotionally. For better or for worse, I don't think nurses leave their work at work," Ms Durman explained."I always say sometimes poetry flows like water, and sometimes it feels like you're pulling your insides out to put them on the page."Everyone has different ways of keeping the emotional burnout at bay, and this is mine." One of her poems, 'her husband, next of kin', follows a man who watches helplessly as his wife slips away."The joy is really making connections with other healthcare workers, patients and other poets," Ms Durman said."Them finding the beauty in what I have written, it's incredible. It's truly humbling."

'Dancing queen' wants donations for 100th birthday
'Dancing queen' wants donations for 100th birthday

Yahoo

time2 days ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

'Dancing queen' wants donations for 100th birthday

For her 100th birthday, a woman in south-east London wants donations to a hospice instead of gifts - and plans to dance to ABBA at her birthday party. Gwynneth Pedler, from Dulwich said she "set a target of getting to a hundred" and has learned a routine for her chosen song, Dancing Queen. In the run up to her special day, she has received physiotherapy at St Christopher's Hospice in Sydenham and credits them with getting back the use of her left leg after an accident. Born on 23 July 1925, Ms Pedler, a former head teacher of three schools and an air mechanic in the WRNS, once "accidentally" invited a whole class of students in Poland to come and stay with her in England. She also admits to being "a rather unruly child" as an evacuee during World War Two. Oldest person in the UK: How has life changed? The times and life of the world's oldest man When the physiotherapists asked if she had a goal, she told them she wanted to do a routine to ABBA's Dancing Queen at her birthday party, attended by more than 100 people, to celebrate her centenary. She said, "I thought it was ambitious but they said no - it wasn't." So they have choreographed steps and wiggles with sweeping arm movements, which has also helped build strength and balance. She said: "They do such wonderful work - not only with physiotherapy and art therapy - but all the other things that they do, in all sorts of other areas. The drivers are so calm, so helpful - it's a really lovely atmosphere." As a child, she was evacuated from London to the countryside during WWII, where she recalls a very long walk to school, something she wasn't keen on. "So we didn't go! We went out to where the farmer was thrashing the corn and he let us have a stick - to hit the rats as they ran out," she chuckles. It was her time in the Women's Royal Naval Service (WRNS) that taught her discipline, she says. And there followed a career in education - one of the things she attributes to having had such a long life. "Keep yourself surrounded by people younger than you and get to know them and socialise with them - because you'll then learn how to be young," she advises. 'I'll get you to England' After her retirement, Ms Pedler taught English in Poland - and once inadvertently invited her students to stay with her in England. All 27 of them. "One of them said, 'We've never been to England'. And I said, 'Oh, don't worry, I'll get you to England'," she recalls. They took that literally and went home to tell their mothers. Word got to the head and rather than cause disappointment, Ms Pedler made it happen. "I hadn't got room for them - my bungalow was big but it certainly wouldn't fit 27 students. So I borrowed tents from the Scouts, tables to put food on and raised some money." With an infectious can-do attitude, she talked her neighbours into bringing dinners for the children - for the next fortnight. "Everybody helped out, all sorts of people. I was just the figurehead really," she says modestly. Several of her Polish students went on to become teachers themselves and some are coming to her birthday party. Raising money and awareness for St Christopher's Hospice, is the latest mission in this determined woman's remarkable life. Listen to the best of BBC Radio London on Sounds and follow BBC London on Facebook, X and Instagram. Send your story ideas to Related internet links St Christopher's Hospice

'Dancing queen' wants donations for 100th birthday
'Dancing queen' wants donations for 100th birthday

Yahoo

time2 days ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

'Dancing queen' wants donations for 100th birthday

For her 100th birthday, a woman in south-east London wants donations to a hospice instead of gifts - and plans to dance to ABBA at her birthday party. Gwynneth Pedler, from Dulwich said she "set a target of getting to a hundred" and has learned a routine for her chosen song, Dancing Queen. In the run up to her special day, she has received physiotherapy at St Christopher's Hospice in Sydenham and credits them with getting back the use of her left leg after an accident. Born on 23 July 1925, Ms Pedler, a former head teacher of three schools and an air mechanic in the WRNS, once "accidentally" invited a whole class of students in Poland to come and stay with her in England. She also admits to being "a rather unruly child" as an evacuee during World War Two. Oldest person in the UK: How has life changed? The times and life of the world's oldest man When the physiotherapists asked if she had a goal, she told them she wanted to do a routine to ABBA's Dancing Queen at her birthday party, attended by more than 100 people, to celebrate her centenary. She said, "I thought it was ambitious but they said no - it wasn't." So they have choreographed steps and wiggles with sweeping arm movements, which has also helped build strength and balance. She said: "They do such wonderful work - not only with physiotherapy and art therapy - but all the other things that they do, in all sorts of other areas. The drivers are so calm, so helpful - it's a really lovely atmosphere." As a child, she was evacuated from London to the countryside during WWII, where she recalls a very long walk to school, something she wasn't keen on. "So we didn't go! We went out to where the farmer was thrashing the corn and he let us have a stick - to hit the rats as they ran out," she chuckles. It was her time in the Women's Royal Naval Service (WRNS) that taught her discipline, she says. And there followed a career in education - one of the things she attributes to having had such a long life. "Keep yourself surrounded by people younger than you and get to know them and socialise with them - because you'll then learn how to be young," she advises. 'I'll get you to England' After her retirement, Ms Pedler taught English in Poland - and once inadvertently invited her students to stay with her in England. All 27 of them. "One of them said, 'We've never been to England'. And I said, 'Oh, don't worry, I'll get you to England'," she recalls. They took that literally and went home to tell their mothers. Word got to the head and rather than cause disappointment, Ms Pedler made it happen. "I hadn't got room for them - my bungalow was big but it certainly wouldn't fit 27 students. So I borrowed tents from the Scouts, tables to put food on and raised some money." With an infectious can-do attitude, she talked her neighbours into bringing dinners for the children - for the next fortnight. "Everybody helped out, all sorts of people. I was just the figurehead really," she says modestly. Several of her Polish students went on to become teachers themselves and some are coming to her birthday party. Raising money and awareness for St Christopher's Hospice, is the latest mission in this determined woman's remarkable life. Listen to the best of BBC Radio London on Sounds and follow BBC London on Facebook, X and Instagram. Send your story ideas to Related internet links St Christopher's Hospice

'Dancing queen' wants hospice donations for her 100th birthday
'Dancing queen' wants hospice donations for her 100th birthday

BBC News

time2 days ago

  • General
  • BBC News

'Dancing queen' wants hospice donations for her 100th birthday

For her 100th birthday, a woman in south-east London wants donations to a hospice instead of gifts - and plans to dance to ABBA at her birthday Pedler, from Dulwich said she "set a target of getting to a hundred" and has learned a routine for her chosen song, Dancing the run up to her special day, she has received physiotherapy at St Christopher's Hospice in Sydenham and credits them with getting back the use of her left leg after an on 23 July 1925, Ms Pedler, a former head teacher of three schools and an air mechanic in the WRNS, once "accidentally" invited a whole class of students in Poland to come and stay with her in England. She also admits to being "a rather unruly child" as an evacuee during World War Two. When the physiotherapists asked if she had a goal, she told them she wanted to do a routine to ABBA's Dancing Queen at her birthday party, attended by more than 100 people, to celebrate her said, "I thought it was ambitious but they said no - it wasn't."So they have choreographed steps and wiggles with sweeping arm movements, which has also helped build strength and said: "They do such wonderful work - not only with physiotherapy and art therapy - but all the other things that they do, in all sorts of other areas. The drivers are so calm, so helpful - it's a really lovely atmosphere." As a child, she was evacuated from London to the countryside during WWII, where she recalls a very long walk to school, something she wasn't keen on."So we didn't go! We went out to where the farmer was thrashing the corn and he let us have a stick - to hit the rats as they ran out," she was her time in the Women's Royal Naval Service (WRNS) that taught her discipline, she says. And there followed a career in education - one of the things she attributes to having had such a long life."Keep yourself surrounded by people younger than you and get to know them and socialise with them - because you'll then learn how to be young," she advises. 'I'll get you to England' After her retirement, Ms Pedler taught English in Poland - and once inadvertently invited her students to stay with her in England. All 27 of them."One of them said, 'We've never been to England'. And I said, 'Oh, don't worry, I'll get you to England'," she took that literally and went home to tell their mothers. Word got to the head and rather than cause disappointment, Ms Pedler made it happen."I hadn't got room for them - my bungalow was big but it certainly wouldn't fit 27 students. So I borrowed tents from the Scouts, tables to put food on and raised some money."With an infectious can-do attitude, she talked her neighbours into bringing dinners for the children - for the next fortnight."Everybody helped out, all sorts of people. I was just the figurehead really," she says of her Polish students went on to become teachers themselves and some are coming to her birthday money and awareness for St Christopher's Hospice, is the latest mission in this determined woman's remarkable life.

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