Latest news with #likability
Yahoo
04-08-2025
- General
- Yahoo
15 Habits That Make People Instantly Like You
Building rapport quickly can be a game-changer in both personal and professional settings. Whether you're entering a room full of strangers or trying to make a good impression on someone new, there are specific habits that can make people instantly warm up to you. These aren't tricks; they're genuine behavioral practices that can help you connect with people on a human level. So, how do you make yourself more likable without coming off as insincere? Here are 15 habits that can help you do just that. 1. You're Genuinely Interested In People One of the simplest ways to make people like you is to show genuine interest in them. Ask questions about their lives, opinions, or experiences, and listen actively to what they have to say. According to research by Harvard University, self-disclosure activates the brain's reward system, making both parties feel a sense of connection. When you show that you care about someone's thoughts and feelings, it makes them feel valued and appreciated. It's not just about asking questions but really listening to their answers. Being genuinely interested in what people have to say also encourages them to open up more to you. When they feel heard, they're more likely to engage in deeper conversations and share more about themselves. This kind of connection can foster mutual respect and admiration. It also makes you memorable because people often recall how they felt in your presence. You become associated with positivity and support, setting the stage for a lasting relationship. 2. You Maintain Eye Contact Eye contact is a powerful tool for making people feel seen and understood. When you maintain eye contact during a conversation, it signals that you're engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. This simple act can build trust and create a sense of intimacy, making the interaction more meaningful. It can also give you insight into how the other person is feeling, allowing you to respond more empathetically. People appreciate those who can connect on an emotional level, and eye contact helps facilitate that connection. However, it's essential to strike a balance and avoid staring. Too much eye contact can make people uncomfortable or feel like they're being scrutinized. The goal is to be attentive, not intimidating. Aim for a natural rhythm of looking into the person's eyes and occasionally looking away. This balance will make the interaction feel more comfortable and less forced, contributing to a likable presence. 3. You Smile Warmly And Naturally A genuine smile can go a long way in making you more approachable and likable. People often respond positively to those who smile because it conveys warmth and friendliness. According to a study by the University of Kansas, smiling—even when you're not genuinely happy—can lead to a decrease in stress and an increase in positive emotions. This creates an atmosphere where people feel comfortable and at ease, making them more likely to enjoy your company. Remember, the key is authenticity; a forced smile can be just as off-putting as a frown. Smiling can also be contagious. When you smile at someone, they are more likely to smile back, creating a cycle of positivity. This can help set the tone for your interactions, making them more pleasant for both parties. A smile can also make difficult conversations easier and help diffuse tensions. It's a simple yet effective way to foster goodwill, especially when meeting new people. 4. You Show Up Consistently Consistency in your behavior builds trust and makes people feel secure in their interactions with you. When people know what to expect, it reduces anxiety and creates a more comfortable environment. Consistent actions, words, and attitudes communicate reliability, a trait that people naturally gravitate towards. Whether it's keeping promises, showing up on time, or maintaining a steady mood, consistency makes you dependable. It also reflects integrity, showing that you are a person of your word. Being consistent doesn't mean being predictable or boring. It's about aligning your actions with your values and principles. This shows that you are genuine and sincere, two qualities that enhance likability. People appreciate when they can rely on you, and this builds stronger, more trusting relationships. Consistency also allows others to understand you better, facilitating deeper connections. 5. You Refer To People By Name Addressing people by their names is a simple yet powerful way to make them feel special and acknowledged. A person's name is deeply tied to their identity, and using it in conversation can create a more personal connection. According to Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Win Friends and Influence People," remembering and using someone's name is crucial for making a lasting impression. It shows that you see them as an individual and value their presence. This small effort can make a big difference in how people perceive you. Using names also helps to keep conversations personalized and engaging. It can break the ice and make interactions feel more intimate, especially in group settings. However, it's important not to overuse it, as this can come off as insincere or manipulative. The key is to incorporate it naturally into the conversation. This practice not only enhances your likability but also strengthens your communication skills. 6. You're Kind And Empathetic Empathy is the cornerstone of meaningful connections. When you make an effort to understand someone else's feelings, it shows that you care, fostering a sense of trust and mutual respect. Empathetic people are often seen as more relatable and approachable, making them easier to like. They have an innate ability to make others feel understood and supported. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything someone says, but showing that you understand their perspective can go a long way. Being empathetic helps you navigate social situations more effectively. It allows you to respond appropriately to other people's emotions, whether they're happy, sad, or angry. This can help you avoid misunderstandings and build stronger relationships. Empathy also encourages open dialogue, prompting people to share more freely with you. By putting yourself in another person's shoes, you demonstrate kindness and emotional intelligence, both of which are highly likable traits. 7. You Share Your Stories Openly Sharing personal stories can make you more relatable and help others understand you better. Dr. Paul Zak, a neuroscientist, found that storytelling releases oxytocin, a hormone that facilitates bonding and trust. By opening up about your own experiences, you invite others to do the same, paving the way for deeper conversations. This mutual exchange of stories fosters a sense of connection and camaraderie. People appreciate authenticity, and sharing your experiences is a great way to demonstrate that. However, it's important to share stories that are relevant and appropriate to the context. You don't want to overshadow someone else's story or make the conversation all about you. The key is to find common ground that encourages further dialogue. This can make the conversation more engaging for everyone involved. Shared stories can also create lasting memories, reinforcing the bond between you and those you interact with. 8. You're Happy And Positive A positive attitude is infectious and can significantly enhance your likability. People are drawn to those who focus on the brighter side of things rather than dwelling on negatives. Positivity can lift the mood and make interactions more enjoyable, creating an environment where people feel good. It doesn't mean you have to ignore problems, but rather approach them with a constructive mindset. This can inspire others to adopt a similar outlook, making you a source of motivation and encouragement. Being positive also helps in managing stress and setbacks more effectively. When people see you handling challenges with grace, it can earn you respect and admiration. Positivity encourages a can-do attitude, making you seem more approachable and easy to work with. It fosters a supportive environment, encouraging people to engage with you openly. Your optimistic outlook can make you a magnet for those seeking a bit of sunshine in their day. 9. You're Open-Minded And Accepting An open-minded approach invites different perspectives and encourages people to share their thoughts freely. When you welcome diverse opinions and ideas, it makes you more approachable and easier to connect with. People appreciate when their feelings and viewpoints are validated, even if you don't necessarily agree with them. Being open-minded demonstrates that you're willing to listen, learn, and adapt. It also suggests that you're not judgmental, making others feel more comfortable around you. Being open-minded doesn't mean you have to accept everything at face value. It's about actively listening and considering others' viewpoints, allowing for meaningful dialogue. This can lead to richer, more fulfilling interactions and help you grow as a person. Open-mindedness encourages a culture of learning and personal growth, making you more interesting to engage with. People are more likely to like you when they feel their voices are heard and respected. 10. You Give Genuine Compliments Giving compliments is an art that, when done genuinely, can make people feel appreciated and valued. A well-timed, sincere compliment can boost someone's confidence and make them feel good about themselves. It shows that you notice and appreciate the qualities or actions of others. However, the key lies in authenticity—people can usually tell when a compliment is insincere. A genuine compliment is specific, focusing on something you truly admire, rather than offering a vague or generic praise. Compliments also have a ripple effect. When someone feels good about themselves, they are more likely to pass on that positivity to others. This creates a culture of goodwill and mutual appreciation. Acknowledging the efforts or qualities of others not only boosts their mood but also strengthens your bonds with them. It shows that you're observant and mindful, traits that people find attractive and likable. By lifting others up, you also lift yourself up in their eyes. 11. You're Calm And Patient Patience is a quality that can significantly enhance your likability. When you exercise patience, it shows that you respect people's time and needs. Whether it's waiting for someone to finish speaking or allowing them to express their thoughts at their own pace, patience can create a more comfortable atmosphere. It demonstrates that you're considerate and understanding, which are qualities people appreciate. In a fast-paced world, the ability to slow down and give others space can set you apart. Patience also helps in dealing with challenging situations and people. It allows you to remain calm and composed, preventing unnecessary conflicts or misunderstandings. This level-headedness can earn you respect and trust, making people more likely to seek your company and advice. By being patient, you show that you're not easily rattled and can handle situations with grace. This resilience and composure are traits that people naturally gravitate towards. 12. You're Friendly And Approachable Approachability is often the first step to making people like you. It sets the stage for open communication and makes it easier for others to reach out to you. A welcoming demeanor, friendly body language, and a warm tone of voice are all components of being approachable. It's not just about smiling or being nice; it's about being accessible and responsive. When people feel that they can come to you without barriers, it fosters trust and openness. Being approachable also involves being present and attentive. People are more likely to engage with you if they feel you're genuinely interested in what they have to say. This means putting away distractions, maintaining eye contact, and actively participating in the conversation. It shows that you value their time and input, which can make them feel important and respected. An approachable attitude can open doors to new friendships and collaborations, making you a magnet for positive connections. 13. You're Honest And Authentic Honesty is a cornerstone of likability because it builds trust and credibility. People are naturally drawn to those who are transparent and truthful in their interactions. Being honest doesn't mean being brutally blunt; it's about being sincere and genuine in your communications. When you're truthful, people know they can rely on you, which fosters deeper and more meaningful relationships. Honesty also reflects integrity, a quality that people respect and admire. Being honest also means acknowledging your limitations and mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and owning up to your errors can earn you respect and admiration. It shows humility and a willingness to learn and grow, traits people find endearing. Honesty encourages a culture of openness, making people feel safe to express themselves around you. When people trust your word, they're more likely to like and respect you, laying the foundation for strong, enduring connections. 14. You Treat Everyone With Respect Respect is a fundamental aspect of likability. Treating people with dignity and consideration, regardless of their status or background, speaks volumes about your character. Respectful behavior fosters a positive environment where people feel valued and appreciated. It promotes mutual understanding and encourages cooperation and collaboration. When you treat others with respect, it often leads to reciprocal behavior, strengthening your relationships. Being respectful also means being mindful of people's boundaries and personal space. It involves listening actively and not interrupting or belittling others. Showing respect can also be about acknowledging diverse viewpoints and being open to constructive feedback. This kind of behavior cultivates an atmosphere of trust and harmony, making people more likely to enjoy your company. Respect is a two-way street, and extending it can make you a more likable and admired person. 15. You're Always Yourself Authenticity is a powerful trait that can make you instantly likable. When you're true to yourself, it shows confidence and self-assurance, traits that people often admire. Being authentic means embracing your quirks and imperfections, which can make you more relatable. People are drawn to those who are genuine because it creates a sense of trust and reliability. When you're yourself, you're more likely to attract people who appreciate and value you for who you truly are. Authenticity also encourages others to be genuine with you, fostering deeper and more meaningful connections. It allows for honest communication and can help build a strong foundation for relationships. When people see that you're not trying to be someone you're not, it makes interactions more comfortable and natural. Being yourself can also inspire others to do the same, creating a more open and supportive environment. Embracing authenticity can make you a magnet for genuine and lasting friendships. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
03-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
15 Things You Do That Make You More Likable Than You Realize
Navigating the social sphere can often feel like an intricate dance, where timing, wit, and charm are key. But what if you unconsciously possess an arsenal of traits that make you more likable than you ever dared to imagine? In our fast-paced world, the art of being liked is less about grand gestures and more about the subtle nuances you bring into each interaction. Here, we uncover 15 things you do that naturally endear you to others, capturing hearts and minds with your effortless authenticity. In a world obsessed with perfection, your willingness to let your quirks shine is refreshingly charming. These little idiosyncrasies are more than just endearing traits; they serve as a signal of authenticity. By embracing your unique self, you give others permission to do the same, which fosters a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. Whether it's your love for obscure films or your penchant for collecting vintage postcards, these quirks reveal the human behind the social façade. People are drawn to authenticity like moths to a flame because it represents an escape from the mundane. Your quirks break the ice and often serve as conversation starters, inviting others to share their own. This dynamic creates a comfortable, judgment-free zone where people feel safe to be themselves. It's precisely this openness that makes you irresistibly likable. When you engage in a conversation, your attentive listening radiates a warmth that is hard to ignore. People pick up on this genuine interest, feeling valued and understood in ways that make them want to return the favor. This isn't just about nodding in agreement but about tuning into the emotions and nuances behind the words. A study by the Harvard Business Review suggests that being a good listener is about posing questions that inspire discovery and insight, not merely hearing words. By asking thoughtful questions, you show that their stories and ideas are worth exploring further. This creates a space where dialogues become more meaningful, setting you apart as someone who sees beyond the surface. It's this depth of connection that makes people view you as not only likable but indispensable. Next time you're in a conversation, notice how people light up when they feel truly heard. In an age dominated by screens, your ability to hold eye contact has an almost magnetic allure. It signals confidence and creates an intimate connection, making the other person feel as if they're the only one in the room. According to Dr. Adrian Furnham, a psychologist at University College London, maintaining eye contact can significantly boost your likability because it communicates sincerity and trustworthiness. It's a simple, yet powerful tool that elevates your social interactions. Eye contact also enables you to pick up on subtleties in conversation, allowing you to respond more thoughtfully. This attentiveness is not only flattering but also encourages others to open up. The result is a more dynamic and engaging exchange that leaves a lasting impression. People remember how you make them feel, and your eye contact ensures they feel seen and appreciated. Addressing people by their names in conversation is a small gesture that yields big results. It personalizes the interaction, making the other person feel acknowledged and important. When you remember and use someone's name, you demonstrate attention to detail and respect for their identity. This simple act can make the difference between a forgettable exchange and a memorable connection. Using names also helps to foster a sense of immediacy and intimacy, breaking down barriers in conversation. It allows you to steer the dialogue in a way that feels more personal and engaging. The next time you meet someone new, try to repeat their name a couple of times to help it stick. You'll be amazed at how this small tweak can enhance your likability in any social setting. Your ability to deliver or appreciate a well-timed joke makes you the kind of person people gravitate toward. Humor is a universal language that breaks down walls and builds bridges, often serving as the quickest route to someone's heart. According to a study published in the journal Social Neuroscience, humor activates the brain's reward system, creating feelings of pleasure and reinforcing social bonds. So when you make people laugh, you're doing more than just entertaining them; you're connecting on a deeper level. Your humor showcases your intelligence and creativity, two traits that are universally appealing. It reveals your ability to see the lighter side of life, which is a refreshing contrast to the often serious undertones of adult conversation. This knack for humor doesn't just make you likable; it makes you unforgettable. Remember, laughter is contagious, and your ability to spark it is a rare and cherished gift. Your capacity for empathy sets you apart in a world that often prioritizes self-interest. By putting yourself in someone else's shoes, you create a sense of solidarity and understanding that transcends mere words. People are naturally drawn to those who make them feel understood and valued. Your empathetic nature becomes a beacon of light in times of distress, offering comfort and support when it's needed most. Empathy isn't just about understanding; it's about action. You go beyond passive listening to actively showing you care, whether through a comforting word or a thoughtful gesture. This ability to move from empathy to action makes you a cherished friend and confidante. It's these acts of kindness that cement your status as genuinely likable, turning acquaintances into lifelong connections. In a world sharply divided on numerous issues, your willingness to entertain diverse viewpoints is nothing short of revolutionary. This openness is a breath of fresh air, offering a rare opportunity for dialogue rather than debate. According to Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist known for her work on mindset, being open-minded fosters a growth mindset, which not only makes you more likable but also more adaptable and resilient. Your curiosity about other perspectives is a testament to your depth and intelligence. By seeking to understand rather than to convince, you create a safe space for genuine conversation. This disarms potential conflict and invites others to lower their defenses, making for richer and more meaningful interactions. Your openness encourages others to share their thoughts without fear of judgment, enhancing your likability immeasurably. In an era where opinions often clash, your approach stands out as refreshingly constructive. It's the little things that count, and your knack for remembering them makes you stand out. Whether it's recalling a coworker's favorite coffee order or a friend's upcoming vacation plans, these details matter. They show you pay attention and care, turning routine interactions into meaningful exchanges. This keen attention to detail speaks volumes about your character and elevates your likability. Remembering personal details also allows you to tailor your interactions in ways that are both subtle and impactful. You effortlessly make others feel special, seen, and important by recalling what truly matters to them. This creates a foundation of trust and respect that strengthens your relationships over time. The next time you learn something personal about someone, make a mental note—you never know when it might come in handy. Kindness is often underestimated, but its power cannot be overstated. Your consistent acts of kindness, whether big or small, set a tone of warmth and generosity that people are drawn to. It's easy to be kind when things are going well, but your ability to maintain this attitude even when under pressure speaks volumes. Kindness is contagious, and your actions often inspire a ripple effect. This unwavering commitment to kindness makes you a beacon of positivity in any setting. People naturally gravitate toward those who make them feel good about themselves and the world. Your kindness isn't just an act; it's a lifestyle choice that enhances your likability and enriches your life. In a world that can often feel harsh, your kindness is a light that guides others to do the same. Your confidence is compelling, but what makes it truly attractive is its lack of arrogance. This delicate balance sets you apart and draws people in, offering inspiration without intimidation. Confidence without arrogance demonstrates self-assuredness while respecting the abilities and opinions of others. This combination is a rare and treasured trait that enhances your appeal. People are drawn to confident individuals because they exude strength and capability. Yet, your humility ensures you remain approachable and relatable, a perfect mix that is hard to resist. This harmony of confidence and modesty invites others to engage with you openly and sincerely. It's this unique blend that makes you a magnetic presence in any room. Your enthusiasm is infectious, lighting up the room and energizing everyone you encounter. Genuine enthusiasm reflects a zest for life that people find irresistibly attractive. It's not about feigned excitement; it's about your sincere passion for the things you love. This authenticity sets you apart from those who merely go through the motions. Your enthusiasm inspires others to share in your excitement, creating a collective sense of joy and possibility. It encourages those around you to engage more deeply and openly. Whether you're enthusiastic about a new project or simply the day ahead, your energy is a gift to those around you. It's this spirited outlook that makes you genuinely likable and unforgettable. You have an intuitive sense of when to be lighthearted and when to be serious, a balancing act that many struggle to master. This ability to read the room and adjust your demeanor accordingly is a testament to your emotional intelligence. It ensures that your humor is always well-received and never out of place, enhancing your likability. People appreciate your skill in navigating different social cues with ease. This balance makes you a trusted confidant, someone people can rely on in any situation. Your ability to switch gears from humor to seriousness when necessary demonstrates maturity and insight. It cultivates an atmosphere of trust, allowing others to feel both entertained and understood. This dynamic makes you a versatile and engaging presence, one that people are drawn to time and again. A well-placed compliment from you never feels forced or empty; it feels sincere and earned. Your generosity with praise uplifts those around you, making them feel valued and appreciated. This openness to recognize and celebrate others' successes speaks to your self-confidence and security. People are naturally drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves, and you excel in this regard. Your compliments often go beyond the surface, acknowledging deeper traits and achievements. This attention to detail makes your praise feel genuine and meaningful, enhancing its impact. It fosters an atmosphere of positivity and mutual respect, strengthening your relationships. In a world where criticism is abundant, your ability to uplift through genuine compliments sets you apart as truly likable. In a society that thrives on instant gratification, your patience is a rare and valuable asset. It allows you to navigate complex situations with grace and composure, qualities that others admire and emulate. This patience is not passive; it's an active choice to understand and invest in the process rather than rushing to the outcome. It's this willingness to wait that makes you a calming and trustworthy presence. Your patience encourages others to take their time, promoting thoughtful decision-making and deeper connections. This ability to embrace the journey, rather than just the destination, reflects a maturity that others find reassuring. It creates a supportive atmosphere where people can grow and evolve at their own pace. It's this patient approach that makes you a cherished ally and friend. Consistency might not be flashy, but it is incredibly impactful. Your ability to maintain steady behavior and attitudes makes you a reliable presence in others' lives. This predictability creates a sense of security and trust, qualities that are foundational in any relationship. People know they can count on you, which enhances your credibility and likability. Consistency in your actions also reflects integrity, showing that your values guide your decisions. This steadfastness is both reassuring and inspiring, encouraging others to emulate your example. It fosters an environment where honesty and reliability are the norms, enriching your relationships. It's this unwavering posture that makes you a respected and admired figure in any circle.
Yahoo
19-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
13 Traits Of Those People Who Get Along With Everyone
Do you know that one person who seems to get along effortlessly with everyone? It's not just luck. They're not born with an extra dose of charisma, nor do they have some magical formula. Instead, they embody certain qualities that make them universally liked. If you're curious about what these qualities are, stick around. You might find yourself nodding along, recognizing traits you see in that friend—or perhaps in yourself. Chameleons of the social world, these people can transition seamlessly between different social circles. They have a knack for reading the room and adjusting their behavior accordingly. This isn't about being fake; it's about being versatile. They know that what works in a corporate meeting might not work at a backyard barbecue. Their adaptability doesn't mean they're masking their true selves; on the contrary, they remain authentic but with a dash of flexibility. If the scenario calls for humor, they're ready with a joke. If it's solemn, they can empathize with depth. This ability to adapt doesn't dilute their identity; it enriches it, providing them with a kaleidoscope of experiences and friendships. People who get along with everyone have this uncanny ability to make you feel like you're the most interesting person in the room. They're not faking it either; their curiosity is genuine. Social psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne notes that showing a sincere interest in others can significantly increase your likability. When you're genuinely curious about people, it breaks down barriers and builds trust faster than you can say 'small talk.' Their curiosity isn't about collecting trivia; it's about understanding what makes people tick. They ask questions that go beyond the typical "how's the weather?" They want to know your story, your passions, and what gets you up in the morning. This genuine interest is like social glue, sticking people together in more meaningful ways. People who get along with everyone have mastered the art of listening. They're not just waiting for their turn to speak; they're genuinely engaged in what others are saying. According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, active listening can significantly enhance social bonds, making you more likable and approachable. When you listen intently, you make others feel valued, and that's a surefire way to build rapport. Have you ever noticed how rare it is for someone to actually listen to you without interrupting? That's a power move right there. When you're the one doing the listening, people open up, and connections deepen. It's not about collecting secrets or gathering intel; it's about showing that you care enough to pay attention. And in a world where everyone wants to be heard, being the listener makes you magnetic. Empathy might be an overused buzzword, but those who get along with everyone know it's more than just a concept. It's a skill, almost like a sixth sense, allowing them to navigate emotional landscapes with ease. They can sense discomfort, joy, and tension without a single word being spoken. Emotional intelligence isn't just about being sympathetic; it's about being perceptive and responsive. Their empathy equips them with the ability to see life through others' eyes. It's not about pity or condescension but rather understanding and connection. This deep-rooted empathy creates a foundation of trust and mutual respect. It's not surprising, then, that they are often the ones people turn to in times of crisis—or celebration. The universal language isn't love; it's laughter. People who get along with everyone know how to use humor to bridge gaps and lighten the mood. A study from Stanford University found that shared laughter can increase feelings of closeness and connection. They're not stand-up comedians, but they know how to find the funny in the mundane and share it. Their humor isn't at anyone's expense, which is key. It's inclusive, not divisive, and never seeks to belittle. It's about finding common ground, a shared moment of joy that brings people closer. They know that when you can laugh together, you can more easily navigate life's ups and downs together too. Kindness is their default setting, not a temporary facade. Consistency in kindness speaks volumes, much more than grand gestures that are few and far between. These people aren't kind only when others are watching or when there's something to gain. They believe in kindness as a way of life, not a currency. Kindness, for them, is woven into everyday interactions. It's in holding the door open, asking how your day was, and genuinely meaning it. It's not about being a saint; it's about recognizing the humanity in everyone. This consistent kindness builds a reputation, one that precedes them and makes people naturally gravitate towards them. In a world where deflecting blame is almost a reflex, those who get along with everyone stand out by owning their mistakes. Acknowledging when you're wrong can be disarming and even endearing. According to psychologist Dr. Dan Ariely, admitting fault can actually increase your credibility and trustworthiness. It shows maturity and an understanding that perfection is a myth. When they make a misstep, they don't shy away from it. Instead, they confront it head-on, often surprising those around them. This honesty encourages others to do the same, creating an environment where openness and learning from mistakes is the norm. Their accountability is refreshing, making it easier for others to connect with them on a real level. Gossip is the social poison that these universally liked individuals avoid. They don't engage in it because they understand its destructive power. While it might offer a temporary bond, it ultimately erodes trust and creates a toxic environment. They steer clear, opting instead to uplift rather than tear down. Their absence from the gossip mill doesn't make them boring; it makes them trustworthy. People are more willing to share their stories, knowing they won't become fodder for idle chatter. They consciously choose positivity, which can be a rare commodity in many circles. It's this choice that makes them a magnet for those seeking real, drama-free relationships. Rigid views and judgments are foreign concepts to them. They embrace diversity, not just in culture but in thoughts and perspectives. This open-mindedness is their superpower, allowing them to connect with people from all walks of life. They don't see differences as barriers but as opportunities for growth and learning. Being open-minded doesn't mean they lack opinions or convictions. Instead, they are willing to listen and consider other viewpoints. They understand that everyone's experience is valid and worth exploring. This acceptance makes them approachable, creating a safe space for discussions that are both enlightening and enriching. Confidence is attractive; arrogance is repelling. The distinction lies in how you carry yourself and treat others. Those who get along with everyone have a well-grounded confidence that doesn't overshadow or belittle others. They don't feel the need to prove themselves because they are comfortable in their own skin. Their confidence is rooted in self-awareness, not in the need for external validation. They share the spotlight and celebrate the successes of others. This humility combined with confidence makes for a compelling mix that draws people in. It's a fine balance, a dance almost, and they've got the moves down pat. Getting along with everyone doesn't mean overstepping personal boundaries. They have a keen awareness of personal space—both physical and emotional. Respecting boundaries shows they value individuality and autonomy. This respect is crucial for cultivating trust and mutual respect. Their respect for boundaries doesn't mean they're distant or aloof. They are present and engaged but understand where to draw the line. This awareness makes others feel comfortable and respected in their presence. It's not about being a pushover; it's about understanding that everyone has different comfort zones. Vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness, but those who get along with everyone know it's a strength. Opening up about failures and fears invites others to do the same, fostering genuine connections. They're not oversharing; they're offering a glimpse into their humanity. This honesty is often met with empathy, creating a cycle of authentic interaction. Being vulnerable isn't about dumping emotional baggage on others. It's about being open to showing your true self. This candor can be contagious, encouraging others to lower their own walls. The result is relationships that are real, raw, and deeply fulfilling. Envy is not in their vocabulary when it comes to others' achievements. People who get along with everyone find joy in others' successes. They're the first to cheer you on, to genuinely feel happiness for your wins. Their support isn't just verbal but often translates into action, helping you celebrate in meaningful ways. Their ability to celebrate others is rooted in their own sense of self-worth. They don't see others' achievements as threats but as inspirations. This positive outlook creates a supportive environment where everyone feels lifted. They understand that success isn't a zero-sum game; there's plenty to go around.
The Guardian
19-05-2025
- General
- The Guardian
‘Likability labour' – why it's time for women to stop being nice at work
Name: Likability labour. Age: The phrase is new, but as a thing it's almost certainly been going on for ever. I'm guessing this has nothing to do with the political party currently in power in the UK, because people seem to be finding it hard to like them at the moment? Not that Labour, no. It's about women in the workplace. Them, I do like. Well, maybe that's part of the issue. Oh. How so? There's a report … Thought there would be … called Shapeshifters: What We Do at Work to Be Liked, which, after surveying more than 1,000 people, discovered that women feel greater pressure to be liked at work and in life. Why? The pressure for women to be likable is 'a culturally entrenched demand that transcends industries and job titles,' says Amy Kean, a sociologist and author of the report, published by training company Good Shout. 'Women are expected to balance competence with warmth, assertiveness with agreeability, and combine authority with overt humility.' Got some numbers for us? Of course: 56% of women feel pressure to be likeable, compared with 36% of men. So how does this manifest itself – what do women do? Kean says: 'They're supposed to be the office mum, taking notes in meetings while softly whipping everybody into shape and baking cakes on Fridays in order to be as palatable as possible.' The cakes? No! The female employees. And it's not just about what they do, it's about what they say as well. Go on. Women are often twice as likely as men to use phrases such as, 'I might be wrong, but …' and, 'Does that make sense?' Does it? Make sense? Yes, and they know it does! But 33% of women worry about coming across as too confident (compared to 16% of men), and 50% say they hold back their true opinions in order to be liked (compared to 35% of men). More than a third of women try to 'smile more'. And I'm thinking this likability labour doesn't pay, does it? Not only does it not pay, the report says it is 'draining creative energy, muffling innovation and punishing authenticity'. Otherwise it's pretty much a level playing field, right? Ha! Yes, of course. Unless you take into account the glass ceiling, the gender pay gap, the patriarchy and emotional labour (the effort required to keep everything running smoothly). Not to mention mental load (also known as cognitive household labour), and other unpaid labour that women take on at home … Do say: (Without looking up, certainly without smiling) 'Just leave it there, on my desk, thanks.' Don't say: 'Sorry to ask but could you possibly do that thing that is literally your job to do …'
