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Yahoo
3 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Contributor: Kids in camp? Nope. Got a summer schedule? Nope. Cue the mom guilt
'How's your summer?' a mom asked from across the living room at a baby shower in June. She was standing with a small group of other moms of my daughter's classmates whom I hadn't seen since school ended almost a month earlier. 'It's the best thing that's ever happened to me,' I replied, honestly. From across the coffee table, their eyes widened, and their mouths skewed into disbelieving shapes. I understood the sentiment. The moms on the other side of the table all work year-round full-time jobs that necessitate puzzling together child care for 11 weeks while school is out. For them, that care usually looks like a conglomeration of scattered camps that drastically increase their weekly mental load with challenges of transportation, different start and stop times, and clothing and supply lists for each kid and every camp. As one mom at the party described this stress, her eyes filled with tears, and she wasn't even addressing the ridiculous monetary cost of keeping her kids supervised while she and her husband worked. 'You didn't sign up for any camps, right?' another mom eventually asked. 'No.' I didn't. I'm spending every day with my 5-year-old and 6-year-old. Our only planned activity is an hour of swim team three mornings a week that is run by a local college's swim program and still feels exorbitantly expensive. While recent headlines and TikTok videos about kids forgoing camp to 'rot' or go 'wild' or regress to the perfect ''90s summer' focus on outcomes, my family's conversation was really about the cause: the financial realities of parenthood. Like those moms, I made my summer plans primarily for financial reasons. They need camp so they can go to work; as a teacher, I have flexibility during the summer and don't need child care so I can work — and camp would have cost more than my salary, anyway. This past school year I returned to the classroom for my first full-time job since my oldest child was born in 2018, but I also continued my gig work as a freelance journalist. While my 8-3 job guaranteed a regular paycheck in this unreliable media landscape and matched my kids' school hours, so we wouldn't need to pay for additional child care, freelancing was still the bulk of my income. Thus, I found myself employed but still participating in an 'infinite workday' as I filled my late nights and early mornings with writing. By the time the first camp registrations opened in January, I'd proven that I could meet deadlines outside of normal working hours, and camp for two kids was unjustifiably expensive. My husband agreed with my plan to forgo camp, and I tried to quiet the guilt that my kids would be missing the art or athletic enrichment. Five months later, I was exactly one week into our unscheduled time when the Cut asked, 'Why not let your kids have a 'wild' summer?' The article argued for the benefits of leaving these months unplanned, 'giving kids space to feel dreamy, inspired, excited, or nothing at all.' A week later, the New York Times followed up with its own question: 'Is it OK for your kids to 'rot' all summer?' In its examination, the article goes so far as to declare that summer is 'a parenting Rorschach test' revealing if a parent has a relaxed approach to raising kids as opposed to a focus on 'skill-building and résumé-padding.' pointed out that an unscheduled summer is impractical for working parents. "Good Morning America" argued that such boredom can be beneficial for this generation of overscheduled kids. The Cut ran a counter-argument to its original column that pointed out how taxing 'screen management' can be at home, and Slate bemoaned the pressure that comes with planning "summer de-escalation." At the beginning of July, Vox even questioned if kids are capable of experiencing the "delirious boredom" of a '90s summer. Much of this discussion has been out of touch. From the thorny linguistic implications of the phrase "rot" to the ludicrous notion that every aspect of parenting needs to have merit (even, ironically, doing less), it's all missing the point that most parents don't have the luxury of time for this level of analysis nor for the 'best practices' that such analysis might suggest. They just feel the weight of judgment for failing to have that spare capacity. It also should not go unnoticed that these articles are all written by women and quote women, which mirrors a universal truth about summer: Moms are surely more likely to be both the schedulers of camp and the caretakers of the children not attending them because they are managing about 71% of the planning, organizing and scheduling within their household. After I told those other mothers that this summer was 'the best thing that's ever happened to me,' I immediately felt 'mom guilt.' Not because I think the empty time my kids fill catching dragonflies in the backyard or squirrelling away to their rooms to listen to audiobooks or cuddling with me in bed to watch an afternoon movie — all done amid constant bickering and wrestling — is more or less valuable than time spent in camp, but because my mental load is currently lighter than those of the other moms who were at the shower. This — not whether your kids are at camp or not — feels closer to the real problem. Modern society isn't built to support modern families. From agrarian-based school years to a lack of affordable child-care options and support for parents who are caretaking, every parent is doing the best they can within a system that is failing them in every season. (When the viral load surges this winter, I'm sure we'll be back to talking about parents missing work to care for sick kids.) Summer is just a three-month microcosm of the larger issues facing parents and, more specifically, moms who are desperate for a lessening of their mental load. Ultimately, I think that's what all these articles are really arguing for when you read between the lines. Returning to the idealized '90s summer of my childhood is less about what kids are doing and more about what parents aren't doing. Maybe the one thing each perspective has in common is that parents, especially moms, are justified in wanting to do less cultivating and scheduling of their children, because we all deserve a brief foray into the seemingly endless summers of our childhood before this summer, like all summers, ends. Sarah Hunter Simanson is a parent, teacher and freelance writer in Memphis. If it's in the news right now, the L.A. Times' Opinion section covers it. Sign up for our weekly opinion newsletter. This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Help! I Bullied a Woman in High School. Now She's Making My Kids Pay the Price.
This is part of Revenge Week, a series about how vengeance runs America, from the White House to cheating spouses to that bad boss who totally deserved it. Our advice columnists have heard many stories about revenge over the years—so we're diving into the Dear Prudence archives to share these classic letters with our readers. Submit your own questions to Prudie here. Dear Prudence, I enrolled my two boys into an exclusive private school in our new hometown. At a school event I bumped into an attractive woman whom I didn't recognize. She came by and asked if I remember her. It turns out that she was someone I bullied in high school. After that day I noticed other moms slowly avoiding me. I think she must have told them about how I used to bully her. Eventually my boys started coming home, crying and upset that other kids wouldn't play with them. My younger son was not allowed to join a game of hockey during recess because another boy told him, 'My mom says your mom is a b***h.' They are now openly being ridiculed and ostracized at school by their peers. I asked to meet my former classmate and apologized for bullying her as I was young and stupid, although I don't much remember what I did. She smiled at me in a creepy way and said she went through therapy for what I put her through. I haven't told my husband about this woman because I'm a little ashamed at how I used to treat her. Putting my boys into another school is not a feasible option, but I just don't know what to do. —Remorseful Bully Dear Remorseful, So this woman's revenge on your long ago mistreatment of her is to lead her children in a campaign to ostracize and bully your children. Boy, oh, boy does she need more therapy. You're understandably ashamed of what you did and want to keep it quiet, but for the sake of your sons you need to tell your husband about it, and how your misdeeds are being revisited on your innocent boys. Then the two of you need to get in touch with the school administration and get this issue addressed. They should take immediate steps to stop the bullying of your sons. But what may never stop is your own shunning. You have entered a Hollywood-ready high school revenge story. Twenty years after your reign as a mean girl, you're going to find yourself black-balled at the school bake sales and rejected as class mother. Even if you get the other kids to back off your boys, you've got a tough road ahead since now all the other mothers know just how miserably you treated their friend. Let's hope some parents will decide not to relive the worst of high school, understand people change, and refuse to be drawn into this drama. Leading a campaign to have your children mistreated may eventually backfire on this other mother and she may find herself as the unpopular girl all over again. Let's hope with some intervention, your sons' situation dramatically improves in the fall. You say there is no other feasible option but this school, but if all of you find yourselves isolated and unhappy there, there are always other choices. —Emily Yoffe From: Help! The Woman I Bullied in High School Is Taking Her Revenge on My Sons. (Dec. 5, 2021). Dear Prudence, My parents and I are huge animal lovers and have been feeding a feral cat colony for a few years now (they are all spayed and neutered). Our neighbor, however, cannot stand them and has been very vocal about it to us. He trapped them for a while whenever they would come into his yard and take them to animal control. However, since they are microchipped to our address, animal control would call us and we would pick them up. Upon their return, the organization that got them spayed/neutered has tried working with our neighbor to no avail. However, last month, two of the cats started acting funny. We took them to the emergency vet only to learn they had antifreeze poisoning and there was nothing we could do but end their suffering. We thought of our neighbor, but wanting to give him the benefit of doubt, we dismissed it as an accident. However, two weeks ago, a third cat acted the same exact way and another vet visit confirmed antifreeze poisoning. We now no longer think it's a freak accident. Several friends and family are telling us to call animal control and report our neighbor. However, we have no proof that it is actually him putting the antifreeze out, only a hunch based on past interactions and experiences. What should we do? —Neighbors and Animals Dear Animals, There's a key piece of information missing here: How big is your 'colony'? If you're talking about more than a few cats, then your neighbor has a legitimate beef that his yard has become a playground and litter box for your brood. No, I'm not defending kitty murder, but it doesn't sound as if you have at all been sensitive to his desire to not be part of the territory of a feral cat colony. Obviously, he does not have the right to kill them, and what you describe is gruesome and awful. You could call the police if you suspect that he's poisoning your cats, but you know they are unlikely to do a forensic analysis of anti-freeze traces around his property. In some communities, there are restrictions on how many animals one can have, so you should look into whether you are violating this restriction before you take this further. Your neighbor has not been amenable to lectures from cat fanatics about why he should put up with your cats in his yard. But it doesn't sound as if you have tried to mitigate the annoyance to him. I suggest before your entire brood sickens and dies, you reduce the number of cats trolling the neighborhood. Your organization should help you re-home these cats. You also should see if you can keep some of the remaining ones inside most of the time. Then go to the neighbor and tell him that you've heard his complaints and there are going to be far fewer cats wandering the neighborhood. That might be enough to check his feline-cidal impulses. —E. Y. From: I Have but Nine Lives to Give. (March 26, 2013). Dear Prudence, I found out my husband had a months-long affair with an old neighbor. He ended it after we moved away. She emailed, wanting him to come back to visit her, and included naked pictures of herself. I found it after using my husband's laptop to do our taxes. I was enraged. I confronted my husband, and we are now in counseling. But I can't get the other woman out of my head. She is a teacher at a Christian academy and a high-standing member of our old church. I personally gave her a key to our old house for emergencies. I hate her, and I hate the fact she gets to go along with her perfect fake life after ruining mine. I have copies of her emails and pics. I want to send them to our pastor and her principal. Someone like her should not be teaching children, and her husband deserves to know the truth. I haven't spoken about this to our counselor or my husband. I think they will want to protect her. I am so angry I can't see straight. I don't know what I should do. Help. —Truth Dear Truth, Your anger makes a lot of sense to me! It also shouldn't be what's primarily driving your actions. Take a look at what you said about how you feel: 'enraged,' 'hate,' 'so angry I can't see straight.' You can't stop thinking about the details of the affair, and you feel like your life has been ruined. The person most directly responsible for this is your husband, but all you say about him is that the two of you are in counseling right now. Your husband is the one who betrayed your marriage vows. He's the one who cheated on you. What she did was not kind, was not honest, and was not the act of a friend—let's not get confused about that. You're angry with her and rightly so. But hurting a friend and cheating on her spouse does not disqualify one from teaching children. One has nothing to do with the other. I'm afraid you might feel like your job is to forgive and eventually forget what your husband did and that therefore the only safe outlet for your pain and anger is this former friend. That would be a mistake, I think. Tell your counselor about your anger. Tell your husband. Be honest about it. Don't try to downplay or soften it. Don't rush to forgive your husband just because you live with him. It's difficult to allow yourself to be angry with the people you love most. I do not think it will be ultimately satisfying if you try to displace the anger that should rightly fall on your husband entirely on her. I do not think it will address the root cause, and I think you deserve the chance to be honest about your feelings without trying to protect your husband from the consequences of his actions. —Danny M. Lavery From: Help! Why Won't My Daughter-in-Law Let Me in the Delivery Room? (Feb. 5, 2018). Dear Prudence, I used to be a live-in nanny for the world's most annoying, inconsiderate, intolerant, and rude couple. I stuck through for three months, but had to quit for my own mental health. During this time, I occasionally took revenge by sneaking into their bathroom and dipping their toothbrushes in the toilet. The wife kept a drink bottle by the bedside table and I also put some toilet water into it as well. It made me feel better about my crappy situation at the time but now that I've quit (and regained some of my sanity), I'm consumed with guilt. I heard from a mutual acquaintance that both of them are having some kind of health problems—exactly what, I don't know—and I'm worried I may have caused this. Should I call and confess? We didn't exactly leave on good terms. —Dirty Problem Dear Dirty, This is indeed a crappy situation all around. I'm actually surprised you quit because given your response to what you say was intolerable treatment by your employers, you attempted to cause them grave bodily harm—you all sound perfectly matched! Making people ingest fecal matter without their knowledge is indeed likely to make people ill and leave their doctor baffled. Part of me would love to tell you to rush to confess. However, I will extend you a courtesy that you didn't give your 'inconsiderate' and 'rude' employers. That is, while I think this couple should know the source of their illness, confessing could leave you open to potential prosecution. You may deserve it, but you need to consider the stakes here. So my suggestion is that you pay for a consultation with a lawyer and explain the situation. You also should find out what are the potential medical consequences of drinking toilet water. It may be that the need to get a proper diagnosis for this pair is crucial to their treatment, and you must consider that and bring it to the attention of your lawyer. While your behavior makes my stomach turn, I am slightly heartened that you seem to recognize what you did was an abomination. I hope in the future you recognize that if you're in a poisonous situation, you simply get out without trying to poison anyone else. —E. Y. From: Porcelain Revenge. (Feb. 18, 2014). I recently found out via Facebook that the man who bullied me when I was a teenager is running for public office. At that time he was extremely cruel and acted violently toward me. We spoke once after I graduated from high school, but I've never understood why he targeted me and he seemed to have no remorse. I'd like to make public what he did to me in order to ensure that he doesn't become an elected official. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Walmart's 'Adorably Spooky' Halloween Sets Are Literally Flying Off Shelves Thanks to Moms
Walmart's 'Adorably Spooky' Halloween Sets Are Literally Flying Off Shelves Thanks to Moms originally appeared on Parade. Walmart is helping moms kick off the spooky season early. We may be in the thick of the summer heat, but the retailer launched Glow in the Dark pajama sets that are flying off the shelves. No, literally, I had to go to several Walmart locations to snag the Ghostbusters set for my kiddo—and even then, there were only a few sizes left. The hope, however, is that Walmart will see how popular the jammies are among mothers who are willing to pay whatever price—in this case $10.98—to keep their little ones happy and be compelled to restock them ASAP. The character 2-piece sets range from 12 months to 5T sizes. In addition to Ghostbusters (slime green with Ecto-1, Stay Puft and other prints on it), you can choose from Halloween-inspired Care Bear, Bluey, Mickey Mouse, Monsters Inc., The Nightmare Before Christmas, Casper, and ScoobyDoo designs. Parents on social media were all about it, as the Walmart Gems noted, "IT'S HAPPENING! 👻 It may be super early, but these new toddler Halloween pajama sets are absolutely adorable! 🥰" View this post on Instagram A post shared by Walmart Gems (@walmartgems) Another account, That Mommy, shared a video from the in-store display, writing, "✨Cutest Halloween Pajamas Have Entered the Chat! 🎃🧸." "Walmart just dropped the sweetest spooky PJs for toddlers and I'm OBSESSED. Some even glow in the dark — how cute is that for trick-or-treat season!? 🪄💫," the post continued, adding that they are "Perfect for movie nights, pumpkin patches, and bedtime snuggles. Sizes are already flying off the racks!" View this post on Instagram A post shared by THAT MOMMY| Shopping Finds| THAT GIRL (@thatmommy_) "These are all so adorably spooky 🧡," someone commented, as another added, "Absolute cutest 🎃." The fabric is super soft to the touch and will be perfect for when the weather cools down in the fall, though a handful of comments warned that they do shrink in the wash, so read the instructions carefully and proceed with caution. Most simply expressed disappointment that the sizes didn't go higher, as another stated, "I honestly would love adult size lol 😂😂." While shoppers reported many styles may be out of stock, you can still haunt them down for shipping online right here! 🎬SIGN UP for Parade's Daily newsletter to get the latest pop culture news & celebrity interviews delivered right to your inbox🎬 Walmart's 'Adorably Spooky' Halloween Sets Are Literally Flying Off Shelves Thanks to Moms first appeared on Parade on Jul 16, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 16, 2025, where it first appeared.
Yahoo
11-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Chalk, a squirt gun, and 18 minutes of peace: A mom's low-key win goes viral
Picture this: A tired mom emerges from the garage, National Geographic narrator voice engaged, 'From the garage, she tosses out a weathered bucket. Two pieces of chalk, and a water squirter. The ancient ritual begins: 'Go paint the driveway.'' The tweet from user @GigaBasedDad humorously documented a mom's brilliantly minimalistic tactic for achieving a coveted sliver of peace… exactly 18 minutes, to be precise. It wasn't a Pinterest-perfect craft or a detailed summer itinerary. It was lo-fi parenting at its absolute finest. Alright moms, chime inIs this what happens when summer starts? ð — Giga Based Dad (@GigaBasedDad) July 6, 2025 As hilarious and relatable as the tweet is, it touches on a deeper conversation resonating with exhausted moms everywhere. Because let's face it, summer parenting burnout is real. Between feeling pressured to keep kids entertained every waking second and battling our own perfectionist tendencies, the mental load feels heavier than ever. But what if the solution wasn't more planning, crafting, or scheduled activities? What if the solution was, simply, chalk and a squirt gun? Related: A 'lazy parent summer' is the only way I want to summer Lo-fi parenting, embracing unstructured, low-maintenance play, is gaining momentum among parents who are realizing it's not just about their own sanity, but also about giving their kids essential tools for development. Child experts agree: free play encourages creativity, problem-solving, and emotional intelligence. It's not lazy; it's foundational. Yet, even in these seemingly effortless parenting moments, judgment can creep in. The comments under the original tweet reveal exactly that. One commenter, @Angela Dawn, said, 'No way. This makes me so sad. I homeschool, but I have always loved having all of the kids home, neighbor kids, everyone! I think my kids have kept me energetic and motivated.' Related: Summer is here—and so is my mom guilt It's time to redefine what a successful summer looks like. Lo-fi days aren't a sign of failure, they're evidence of parents creating space for their kids to flourish independently. Chalk, water play, and driveway games? These activities hold the potential for imaginative worlds and genuine joy. So next time the mom-guilt creeps in or you feel tempted to over-plan, remember the mom who tossed out chalk and a squirt gun and found not only peace but validation in the simplicity. We're all doing the best we can, and sometimes, less truly is more.
Yahoo
08-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
‘Bathroom Camping': The Weird TikTok Trend Teens Swear Helps Them Cope
It is just us, or do teens take a long time in the bathroom? What could possibly take them so long to do their business? Their habits may not have anything to do with typical restroom activities; they might be 'bathroom camping' instead. This odd-sounding TikTok trend is supposedly helping teens cope with stress — and it makes a lot more sense than you might imagine. Have you ever gone to the bathroom to zone out or escape (moms, I know you know what we're talking about!). This is bathroom camping, or as the Daily Dot describes it, 'resting in the bathroom for an indeterminate period of time, without needing to use the sink, toilet, or shower.' More from SheKnows AP Scores Just Came Out - Here's What to Do If Your Teen's Upset About Theirs It's not that they just take forever to do their makeup or shower — it's that they are staring into the mirror contemplating the meaning of life. It's hiding out from the world at school, work, or home, where you can get a break, and no one can bother you. One person on TikTok called herself the 'top ranking potty ranger.' 'Literally the ladies room is my oyster, I have so many places to go: the toilet, the shower, the cold tile floor, the sink. Getting lost in the mirror with my feet in the sink … pure bliss.' Someone commented, 'My parents have one of those mirrors that open and I'd open both sides to make like an endless reflection of myself and look and wonder what I'd look like older.' Some teens are bathroom camping because the bathroom is historically their safe space. Like this TikToker, who said, 'Started bathroom camping at 10 to avoid the yelling and get some privacy. And I've yet to stop.' 'This triggered a memory and I'm sobbing,' one person commented. 'Cause what? This is a thing. I thought it was just me ): I would be locked in there for the same reasons.' Someone else wrote on TikTok, 'sorry if my bathroom camping bothers you, this is the only place I grew up learning was safe.' Growing up, the only door that locked in my home was the bathroom. It was the only guaranteed place I knew I could get a moment alone to cry or just have a moment alone without worrying about someone barging in. To me, bathroom camping might look like sitting on the bathtub and sobbing. Or standing in the shower for an extra few minutes, just letting the water wash over me. Or giving myself an extra minute to brush my hair, do a face mask, or check out my outfit. There's something about just existing in the bathroom, where you are truly by yourself, that feels so healing. This is a trend that's not just for teens, but teens are the ones normalizing an experience that you might have otherwise felt isolated for doing. Taking care of your mental health is important, especially when depression has increased 60 percent among U.S. teens and adults in the last decade. If taking a few minutes to stare into the void in a mirror or scrolling through your phone in silence helps, then go for it, of SheKnows AP Scores Just Came Out — Here's What to Do If Your Teen's Upset About Theirs Celebrate Freedom With These Perfectly-Patriotic Americana Baby Names July 4th Printable Coloring Pages to Keep Kids Busy All Day