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Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Naked hugs and lots of stroking, but did I actually have sex at my tantric retreat? Cosmo Landesman reveals all...
Ever since I turned 70 last September, I've been feeling a bit low. Not bad, just a bit… blah. I felt stuck in my daily routines and rituals. I was living all right, but not really alive. I needed a big jolt of energy, passion, joy and love to regain my mojo. But maybe I was asking too much of life? 'Not at all,' said an old girlfriend. 'I was feeling just like you – until I did a Living Tantra course. It changed my life and it will change yours, too.' I gave her a look that said: are you insane? Me, do tantra? Have exhausting marathon sex sessions with strangers? Dance naked at dawn in dewy fields – or whatever these New-Agey nutters do? No, thanks. Not my cup of organic seaweed tea. I'm an old, white, middle-class, uptight, cynical, smartarse journalist. I don't chant. I don't share. I don't cry. I don't hug. No, I don't do tantra – I do tantrums! And guess what happened next? I chanted. I shared. I cried. I danced naked in a dewy field. I hugged strangers – women and men! But did I have lots of sex? People always ask me that. I'll tell you later. Yes, I went to the Living Tantra 1 workshop, which took place over seven days at the EarthSpirit Centre in Somerset. It was led by Jan Day, the best known and most beloved tantra teacher in the UK. She has been teaching tantra for over 18 years and her course promises to help you live with 'presence, passion and love'. And the cost of such enlightenment? Well, including food and standard accommodation, it's £1,440. But what is this tantra stuff? Say the T-word and most people think it's all about sex – thanks to a casual comment made years ago by the singer Sting about his seven-hour tantric sex sessions with his wife Trudie. But tantra is actually an ancient spiritual practice that originated in India. At its core is the idea of 'weaving together all that is' – which means all that you are. The good bits and the bad bits, the dark and the light, your fears and your desires – they all provide spiritual nourishment to help make you feel more fully alive and present. But what, I wondered, should you pack for a seven-day tantra retreat? My friend reminded me that tantra was about getting away from material possessions and personal vanity. So I kept it simple – one T-shirt, an old sarong and a pair of flip-flops. And my hair-dryer. And my hair-straightening tongs. And my hair gel, my exfoliating gel scrub and one snazzy suit – just to be on the safe side. Of course, I was hungry for spiritual connection, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hungry for a soul mate as well. Before I went, I imagined the course would be full of old hippies, young male incels, female nymphos and bearded pervs wearing orange robes. There were 52 of us attending and they were actually a lovely mix of people of all ages and from all walks of life. I met a carpenter, a bricklayer, a few therapists, teachers and lots of people in IT and tech. OK, at first I thought they were a little weird. Usually when strangers meet like this there's a kind of distance and awkwardness between them. But I noticed on the first day of my arrival that wherever I went – the meditation hall, the garden, the communal hot tub – I found people talking and laughing and hugging as if they'd all known each other for life. And I soon discovered that when you talk to someone there, you feel as if they are really listening to you. Not the people-pleasing you, but the authentic you. They're more interested in what you are looking for in life than what you do for a living. And one of the best things about my week in tantra world was that no one talked about Donald Trump! Now, about the hugging thing. For the first two days all that hugging made me anxious – especially when it comes to hugging men. (I'm an uptight heterosexual who has always preferred a good old-fashioned handshake.) There was one man there I called the Hug Blob – a short, fat, sweaty, bearded bloke who was always going up to people and saying, 'Can I have a hug?' and his wishes were always granted! I must confess that seeing so many beautiful women hug the Blob gave me hug-envy. Why didn't anyone ask me for a hug? Was I giving off an anti-hug vibe? Did I have BO? But then after lunch one afternoon I saw the Hug Blob coming my way with arms outstretched. I had two options. One: make a run for it and never come back. Two: stand my ground. Man-up and hug-up. Sure enough, he looked me in the eye and said softly, 'Can I have a hug?' OK, I thought, here we go. I shut my eyes and fell into his arms. He buried his head into my chest, and I held his sweaty body closer. This was my first full-on man-to-man, nipple-to-nipple hug. And it felt good! At the end of nearly five minutes of hugging he said thank you and I replied, 'No, thank you!' I tell this story because it shows how we are so quick to judge and dismiss other people. By the end of the week I felt ashamed that I'd called him the Hug Blob. My tantra week taught me to look deeper, and I saw beauty in men and women I would have previously quickly dismissed as unattractive or not my type. Shedding my inhibitions about hugging a man was nothing compared to the challenge of shedding my clothes and going naked in front of over 50 people. Jan Day made it absolutely clear that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. One of the things she teaches is how to say yes and no and have your boundaries respected. But I was too embarrassed by the scary sight of my bloated belly, my droopy buttocks and my latest bodily horror: my bulging hernia! No, nudity was never going to happen for me. And then on the fifth day it did. We were having a session where we were invited to remove as much clothing as we felt comfortable with and I thought: I'm fed-up with always body-shaming myself. Off came my kit and I danced with wild abandon. And yes, bits wobbled and flapped – but I didn't care! It was so liberating to finally have made peace with my body. Mornings began at 8am with a meditation/dance session in a large hall lined with mattresses and pillows. Here I danced. I shook my body and rattled my chakras. I spoke gibberish and also silently contemplated the universe. At one point we did an exercise to connect with our primitive instincts. I was invited to get into an 'inner animal' and let it out. I tried to roar like a lion. I tried to grunt like a large ape. But the best I could do was get in touch with my inner gerbil and squeak as I strangled my pillow. Yes, I felt silly at first. But I came to love my morning sessions – it was a cardio workout for the soul. Afternoons and evenings were a mix of working with small groups of four or five people or the group as a whole. Through a series of exercises and practices we learned to relate to ourselves and other people with greater intimacy. Put simply: we were learning to dump our emotional baggage, cut the bulls**t and truly be ourselves. A lot of group bonding took place over meal times. The food was vegetarian – delicious salads and vegetable curries. (Even the wholesome organic puddings were tasty.) And you could always find new people to talk with while you ate. The vibe was relaxed and friendly. By the end of the day I was usually exhausted, emotionally and physically. So I'd head off to bed while others in the group headed off for a naked soak in the hot tub, before hanging out most of the night. You'd think that at a tantra retreat there would, come nighttime, be mass shagging going on with the hills of Somerset alive to the sounds of orgasms. But if people were coupling and copulating, I didn't see or hear anything – and nobody invited me to join in! There's no getting away from the fact that sex is a crucial part of Living Tantra. What we were trying to learn was the art of giving and receiving pleasure without the usual anxieties that accompany sex: do I look fat? Am I doing it right? Should I be doing this? The aim was cultivating deep intimacy, with your own desires and other people's, without the crippling insecurities. Our erotic explorations were done together as one big group in the meditation hall, but we worked in small groups of three and four, usually two men and two women. In one exercise we'd take turns in saying where and how we would like to be touched – and where we wouldn't. Did I want to have sex? Yes. Did I have sex? No. I have to be honest here. I found myself with two very attractive young women but felt so self-conscious about being old enough to be their dad that, when it was my turn to say what I'd like, I opted for safe areas of touch – no bottom, no genital touching, thank you very much. So the rest of me was lovingly stroked and, yes, it was very sensual but it wasn't sexual. And I was careful when it was my turn to stroke them to keep clear of their intimate parts even though they had granted consent. I know I was being silly, but I just didn't want to be the dirty old man in the room. Clearly, I need to do a lot more work on my hang-ups. And as for finding and falling in love with a tantric goddess, I had no such luck. And yet by the end of the week I did come to feel a great deal of love for the people there. The whole experience left me feeling more fully alive, energised and with an inner calm I've never experienced before. The challenge now is to keep it that way.
The Sun
6 days ago
- Sport
- The Sun
Topless hakas and wild celebrations – how rugby legend is bringing winning culture to Chelsea's billion pound youngsters
FROM doing a topless haka in the Chelsea dressing room to punching the dugout in celebration of the Club World Cup win, you can see the passion that Willie Isa brings to the Blues. The former world champion rugby league star, 36, started in the brand new role of player support and development officer for the Premier League club only in February. 7 7 Yet the viral videos of the Samoan demonstrate Isa is already very much at the heart of what is going on at Stamford Bridge. It comes as no surprise to Isa's former boss at Wigan Warriors that he has become so popular, so quickly in his new life in a new sport. In February 2024, head coach Matt Peet led Wigan to victory in the World Club Challenge. And Isa, who had been at the club since 2016, was the 'cultural architect' who set the standards on and off the field that underpinned the triumph. Peet told SunSport: 'It can sound vague I think, like wishy-washy words, when you talk about culture and standards. 'But it comes back to what are you willing to accept and what are you not willing to accept. 'And who's going to set where the line is and acknowledge when things fall below standard. 'Willie was someone who would be driving the cultural side of the environment, standards, behaviours, attitude, just 24/7. Those people are so important. 'We all knew he'd be an addition to any environment. So it's just fair play to Chelsea for identifying him. They had obviously done their homework.' Just weeks after Isa became a world champion with Wigan in February last year, he suffered an horrific injury. A fractured fibula and dislocated ankle put him out for months, but even then - especially then - he made sure he continued to contribute. In the autumn, after Wigan had lifted the Challenge Cup and Super League without him on the field, Isa said: 'I was elevated a few years back as a leader and, with the injury, I wanted to play a part in the team in some other way. 'The one-to-one stuff I love but also leading in the group. I make sure our principles stay intact as a club in performance and as people.' Isa returned to training but never to matches before Chelsea offered him the chance to show his off-field skills were transferable to a different sport. You could say Isa was to Wigan what James Milner was to Liverpool under Jurgen Klopp, with the former Kop boss saying Milner was absolutely vital in setting the tone and standards which propelled the Reds back to the top. It is a comparison which Peet agrees with and Isa would appreciate. Because, after joining Widnes Vikings in 2012, he became a committed Liverpool fan. He was in Madrid to watch Klopp's side win the Champions League in 2019 and long-term partner Gemma Bonner plays for the Reds' ladies side. 7 7 But now Isa finds himself working for one of Liverpool's big rivals. The average age of a Chelsea starter last season - 24 years and 36 days - was the youngest in Premier League history. And Peet believes Isa is the perfect role model, mentor and confidant for Enzo Maresca 's youthful squad. Peet said: 'Any young player, they want to be challenged to improve. They want to be shown the way to lead your life as a professional, in high performance. 'But first and foremost, they want to know that there's a genuine care there. 'That's what Willie will be good at. He'll put his arm around those that need it, but it won't be a softly, softly approach. 'It'll be driving them to be the best they can be. 'Whatever age group, whatever walk of life these players and staff are from, Willie will have a good way of engaging with people, building relationships and trust with everyone really.' That was certainly the case at Wigan, as Peet recalled: 'The story I like telling about Willie is we were having a team culture discussion one morning. 'We asked all the players to talk about something that a team-mate had done for them which no one else knew about. 'There were 25 people in the meeting that shared and probably over half of the people mentioned Willie. 'Giving them a lift to training. Borrowing them some money. Allowing them to stay at his house rent free when things had gone wrong for them... 'Or when they had moved over from another country, just catching up with the lads for a coffee or doing things for their families. 'You would think, in a meeting like that after a while, certain people would be friends with some groups more than others. 'But it was really evident that Willie was a good team-mate to a cross-section of the team.' 7 7 Behind his strapping physique and competitiveness, Isa really is a man for all seasons. Peet said: 'He's interested in his sport, no doubt. When he was in the rugby club he was 100 per cent rugby league, but then at the weekend he'd go watch Gemma or Liverpool. 'He also had a diverse range of interests. What he'd read about, what he'd talk about, politics, social issues. 'I know that weekly he'd visit homeless shelters. Not as an appearance, they wouldn't even know he was a professional athlete. He'd just go and do it off his own bat. 'He's just an interesting guy. He's happy to have a conversation about a range of subjects. 'It'll be seen as a team role that he has, linked to culture and environment. But it's really built on individual connections and that's where Willie will excel.' By all accounts, Isa is really making an impression at Chelsea. He is a daily presence at the club's training ground in Cobham and part of the backroom staff for every match. A popular figure. A leader of men. And, just months after swapping an oval ball for a round one, part of a world championship-winning team again.
The National
18-07-2025
- Business
- The National
Money & Me: ‘I quit a lucrative job in the merchant navy to chase my passion in sales'
Hailing from a seafaring family, Heston Saldanha joined the merchant navy in India, but found that life on the seas was not his true calling. He quit his job in 1999 and decided to pursue his passion in sales instead. 'My entire family works in the merchant navy. Coming from that industry and deciding to take up a job on land was quite challenging in terms of going against the conventional way of thinking,' he says. 'Always follow your passion. I was fortunate to pursue what I liked doing, which is meeting people and talking. Whatever I've achieved today is purely because of my own conviction and following my passion.' Mr Saldanha, who is from the Indian city of Mumbai, initially took up a corporate sales post with Hutchison Max. He moved to Dubai in 2000 working with business conglomerate Al Futtaim. 'I decided to work in Dubai for a year to make money, but there's been no looking back since,' says the 51-year-old, who is now general manager of Sonova Consumer Hearing Middle East. He worked for Al Futtaim for 10 years and then joined audio equipment manufacturer Sennheiser to set up their consumer division in 2011. After 12 years with Sennheiser, at the end of 2021, he set up the consumer business for Sonova. Mr Saldanha's academic credentials include a postgraduate diploma in management with a focus on marketing from the Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies and a bachelor of arts degree in psychology from St Xavier's College, Mumbai. He lives with his wife and daughter in Muraqqabat, Deira, and their two sons are studying in the US and UK. Did wealth feature in your childhood? What did you learn from it? I come from a seafaring family, so money was available and our house always had foreign goods. But one of the things that struck me at a very young age was my father's sacrifices, such as sailing for six to nine months at a stretch. This helped me learn the value of money. What was your first job and how much did it pay? When I was in college in Mumbai, my parents were quite conservative when it came to money. But I needed money to party and spend, so I took up a job with a company to sell marker pens at Nariman Point (the city's business district) and they paid good commission. I earned around 25 Indian rupees ($0.29) for every packet I sold. That was the first time I learnt to sell in a non-educated way. When you enjoy what you're doing, it brings the best out of you. Any early financial jolts? Yes, when I left the merchant navy, everyone asked me why, because it was a lucrative job. As a cadet then, I used to earn around 30,000 rupees. My mother asked me what I planned to do next and how I would take care of my life and my family in the future. It was a jolt knowing that my decision would have a financial implication, of not knowing what I'm going to do next. It was quite an awakening. How do you grow your wealth? I come from an old-school outlook on investing. I started investing in property, land and fixed deposits in India and then slowly moved to mutual funds. Are you a spender or a saver? I'm more of a wise spender and a good saver. If you spend wisely, you can save. I primarily spend on my kids. I have given them the best education and then let them take it forward. I would call it a good investment since I haven't taken any loans to educate my kids. Have you been wise with money? Yes, seeing my dad work in the merchant navy taught me to value money. I was never a materialistic person. For me, it's not about driving the best car or doing things to impress others. I'd probably like to impress myself and be appreciated by my family. What has been your best investment? Properties and land in Mumbai and Goa, since they have nearly tripled in value since purchase. Any cherished purchases? The calling of the sea is always present in my life. While I was on a holiday in Cyprus with my family, one of the things that caught my attention was a sea-facing apartment. One of the properties I bought in Goa is beautiful and offers a full sea view. That's a cherished purchase because it's a holiday home I can always visit with a friend or family to relax. How do you feel about money? As long as you have control over money, there's nothing that can go wrong. You have to learn to control money and not vice versa. I tell my kids not to look at what they can earn but how they can value that money instead. Any financial advice for your younger self? I should have adopted a more millennial way of investing, such as in stocks, probably six or seven years ago. But I have no regrets. Any key financial milestones? Having both my kids study abroad are bigger financial milestones to me than driving the best car. I can see the fruits of my labour put into their education without the help of any loans. These hold a higher value in life to me. What are your financial goals? To retire early and live off some of my investments.
UAE Moments
15-07-2025
- Entertainment
- UAE Moments
Daily Love Tarot Reading for July 15th, 2025
The Knight of Wands signals a surge of excitement in your love life. This card urges you to embrace passion and take risks, but remember to balance the thrill with sincerity. For singles: Singles might encounter a charismatic individual who sweeps them off their feet. For couples: If you're in a relationship, expect spontaneous plans or bold declarations of love. Pro Tip for the Day: While passion is thrilling, ensure your actions align with your long-term relationship goals. Stay tuned for tomorrow's love tarot guidance and let the cards illuminate your journey! For more tarot readings, be the first to receive our newsletter straight to your inbox! Follow us on our Whatsapp channel for latest news
News.com.au
13-07-2025
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
South Australia's biggest footy fan of 2025: Nominate now to prove your passion for the game
Do you barrack harder than anyone else in South Australian football crowds? Do you bleed your team's colours? It's time to put your passion to the test. The Advertiser on the hunt for the state's biggest footy fan and we're calling on all SA football tragics to nominate no matter what side they support. We've already crowned the state's top Auskicker or the year with five-year-old Crow fanatic Hugh O'Donnell refusing to share his prize with his Port supporter dad. Whether you've painted your house in club colours, not missed a game in decades or have a lucky scarf that's practically heritage-listed – we want all diehard fans to throw their guernsey in the ring. Nominate yourself or a mate who lives and breathes footy by filling out the form below. Bragging rights are up for grabs – it's time to kick some goals off the field. Nominations will close on Tuesday, July 22 at 8am with finalists being put to a vote. Find the full terms and conditions here. Could the Hooper trio be SA's biggest footy fans? They may be small, but this pint-sized cheer squad packs a big punch when it comes to footy fever. Stephen, 8, Thomas, 6, and Florence 'Flossie' Hooper, 4, are third-generation Crows tragics – proudly carrying the red, blue and gold baton handed down from their dad, Gordon, and embraced wholeheartedly by their American-born mum Ellen. 'We are a family of Crows fans because everyone in our family are Crows fans – this has been passed down through the generations,' Ellen said. And while Ellen grew up in a house of diehard New York Yankees supporters, she knew marrying into the Hooper family came with one important condition – back the Crows or bust. 'I went to a game nearly 20 years ago when I first visited Australia, and I've been converted ever since,' Ellen said. 'In my family, it would be completely unacceptable not to support the Yankees, so I can appreciate the need for me to also support the Crows.' From watching every game on television – sometimes twice if it's a big win – to packing the family into the car for AFLW matches, the Hoopers are always game-day ready. 'Daddy loves talking about when the Crows won back-to-back grand finals (in 1997 and 1998),' Flossie said. 'Dad always tries to take us to the games,' Thomas added. 'But we do watch every game on TV together.' Stephen, who plays for the Brighton Bombers, got to meet one of his footy heroes last year – and he's never forgotten it. 'I love Tex, the Fog, Keaysey and Rankine … they're my favourite,' Stephen said. 'Fogarty came to my club's training once last year and I got his autograph.' Do you know someone as footy-mad as the Hooper Trio?
