Latest news with #relationshipabuse
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Love Island star Siannise Fudge blasts ITV show for 'normalising' toxic behaviour as she reveals past relationship abuse in emotional post
Love Island star Siannise Fudge has accused the show of 'normalising' toxic behaviour as she revealed her own past relationship abuse in an emotional social media post. Fans have slammed this year's male stars for their toxicity - with allegations of 'manipulation, gaslighting and disrespect'. While Women's Aid accused the ITV show of reinforcing 'misogyny and sexism' as they released a statement addressing recently departed Harrison Solomon's 'disgusting' behaviour. And taking to her Instagram stories on Saturday, Siannise - who appeared on the winter series of the show in 2020 - called out the show for seemingly allowing the behaviour, while noting the girls deserved better. The influencer, 31, shared an article from the publication Mighty Pursuit which featured a quote from model Bella Hadid which read: 'I constantly went back to men that abused me. I would become silent and cry... [As a] people pleaser... I was putting my worth in the hands of someone else.' Siannise, who came runner-up in her series with then boyfriend Luke Trotman, told how the statement 'resonated' with her, before going on to admit her own abusive relationship. She penned: 'I have been a victim in my past relationships of this behaviour which I thought was normal - and that's the scariest part. It's so disappointing and very disturbing that this behaviour on national tv especially on one of the biggest tv shows is being normalised. 'Those girls deserve so much more, they deserve to be respected and my heart goes out to them.' She continued: 'I'm sure they will need a lot of support when they are out as I know the intensity of that environment and having to deal with that behaviour on top is just awful.' The beauty concluded: 'This whole thread speaks volumes and I'm gonna leave it here. Please read and I hope this helps understand why this will never be ok and should never be tolerated.' Siannise then shared a thread from Women's Aid, which examined the behaviour on the show and claimed it was 'reinforcing a culture trivialising violence against women and girls.' The reality star wrote alongside the post: 'It's been so disturbing watching for me this year, especially as a previous islander. 'The behaviour has been shocking and it really hasn't been about finding love, it's been about power, control, and emotional abuse. 'It's very concerning that this is being normalised on national TV.' Siannise then shared a thread from Women's Aid, which examined the behaviour on the show and claimed it was 'reinforcing a culture trivialising violence against women and girls.' Siannise wrapped up her posts with a sweet video of herself dancing with her boyfriend, footballer George Rigg, whom she has been with since 2023. She added: 'Thank you for being my safety, my peace, and showing me what a real healthy love is. Been waiting for you my whole life.' Siannise did not specifically identify any individual on Love Island nor reveal her abusive partner. MailOnline have contacted Love Island representatives for comment. It comes after Love Island faced backlash following Tuesday night's episode, which saw Harrison's antics spark fury among fans as his love triangle with Lauren and Toni continued. After a rollercoaster relationship with Toni, Harrison returned from Casa Amor last week with Lauren. However he and Toni continued flirting and have had secret chats on the terrace, with Harrison often telling Toni one thing and Lauren another. On Tuesday fans were left fuming as they branded Harrison 'disgusting' after he appeared to have sex with Lauren before later crawling back to Toni, who does not know the full extent of Harrison's intimate actions. And now Women's Aid have spoken out on his behaviour. Communications Manager at Women's Aid Jessye Werner said that while production companies have been making steps to call out toxic behaviours more must be done. She told The Tab: 'Despite these positive steps, we still see unhealthy patterns of behaviour on these shows, showing just how steeped in misogyny and sexism our society still is. 'Women are often lied to, slut-shamed and manipulated, as well as laughed at behind their backs. Misogyny and sexism lay the foundation for the tolerance of abuse and violence – it reinforces a culture that excuses and trivialises violence against women and girls. 'More must be done to educate contestants on sexism and misogyny, and it is a great credit to viewers who take to social media, continuing to call out these behaviours as soon as they see them.' Yet ITV has highlighted they carry out extensive duty of care protocols during, before and after filming. These include suspending social media, training in language and behaviour and ongoing support and welfare sessions. Their guidelines state: 'All Islanders will complete video training and guidance across a range of topics to include mutually respectful behaviour in relationships, behaviour patterns associated with controlling and coercive behaviour and language around disability, sexuality, race and ethnicity, and microaggressions before they meet their fellow Islanders.'
Malay Mail
10-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Malay Mail
‘I wasn't even in my own body': Sean ‘Diddy' Combs's ex faces defence grilling in sex trial
NEW YORK, June 10 — Sean Combs's defence lawyers on Tuesday will question a woman who dated the music mogul up until his arrest, and who has testified in agonising detail that he pressured her into drug-fuelled sex with escorts. After three days on the stand the woman speaking under the pseudonym Jane will face intense scrutiny from defence lawyers who have insisted that what prosecutors deem sex trafficking was in fact consensual. Jane told jurors how the final year of her relationship with the artist known as 'Diddy' exploded into violence in June 2024. At the time Combs was already under investigation by federal authorities; his homes had been raided, and the now-infamous security footage of him assaulting his ex-girlfriend Casandra Ventura in a hotel was public. Throughout her testimony Jane, who began seeing Combs in early 2021, detailed how she had longed for a more traditional romantic relationship with him. But she said 90 per cent of their time together resulted in sometimes days-long sex parties that saw Combs direct her to have sex with male escorts while he watched, even as she told him the encounters made her feel 'sleazy' and 'disgusted.' The June 2024 date at home was meant to be a chill night in, she said, but she and Combs got into a fight over his relationship with another woman. The argument escalated when Jane said she pushed Combs's head onto a marble countertop and began hurling candles. 'I was angry with him,' Jane said. 'It was a built-up mix of everything... I just kept saying that I hated him.' Combs was livid: Jane told jurors he kicked down doors and ultimately put her in a chokehold. She managed to run out of the house barefoot but upon returning hours later he was still there. He kicked and punched her until she had a black eye and 'golf-ball' sized welts, she said. Combs instructed her to ice the injuries and 'put an outfit on.' Jane told jurors that she put on the requisite heels and lingerie for a so-called 'hotel night' with Combs and a man he had invited. Through tears Jane said Combs gave her ecstasy and demanded she have sex with the man, and when she protested he said 'you're not going to ruin my f**king night.' When she said again she didn't want to participate, he stood closely to her face as he asked in a 'forceful' tone: 'Then is this coercion?' Jane ultimately complied, and gave the escort oral sex: 'I just felt like I wasn't even in my own body,' she said. Jane told jurors Combs paid for her rent at the time and still does. He also continues to fund her legal costs. 'Sexual trauma' When Ventura — who last month testified of physical and psychological abuse in similarily excruciating detail — filed her 2023 civil lawsuit that opened the door for a federal investigation, Jane said she 'almost fainted.' 'There was a whole other woman feeling the same thing,' Jane said. 'I feel like I'm reading my own sexual trauma. It makes me sick how three solid pages, word for word, is exactly my experiences and my anguish,' she messaged Combs, in text records read in court. After weeks of back-and-forth, Jane said Combs called her a 'con artist,' and threatened to show sexually explicit videos to the father of her child. She had previously testified at length that she felt 'obligated' to participate in hotel nights for 'fear of losing the roof over my head' that Combs was bankrolling. Jane said that following their physical fight in the summer of 2024, they saw each other twice more before his arrest last September. The 55-year-old faces life in prison if convicted of racketeering and sex trafficking. Jane's story was not in the original indictment against Combs, but she was added after receiving a subpoena requiring she testify in November 2024 before a grand jury. She began speaking to prosecutors in January of this year. Jane testified that she told Combs's defence team about the brawl last summer before she told prosecutors. She said she felt 'obligated' to meet the defence team 'due to my relationship.' Jane has not filed any civil suit against Combs, and said in court Monday she has no plans to. 'I just pray for his continued healing,' she told jurors, 'and I pray for peace for him.' The Manhattan federal trial is expected to last several more weeks. — AFP
News.com.au
29-05-2025
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Sean ‘Diddy' Combs' chilling threat to Cassie as she partied with Rita Ora
An 'enraged' Sean 'Diddy' Combs once repeatedly struck his longtime girlfriend Cassie Ventura 'pretty hard' in front of her friends because she didn't answer her phone, a celebrity stylist testified Wednesday. Deonte Nash told jurors at Combs' bombshell federal trial in Manhattan that he witnessed the disgraced music mogul fly into a violent rage in Ventura's apartment as the stylist was helping her pack for a trip in 2013. 'B–h, didn't I tell you to answer the phone?' Nash recounted Combs saying. He 'grabbed her by the hair, pulled her off the couch and started hitting her,' the stylist said. The alleged ordeal, which unfolded as Ventura was prepping to leave for Drake's OVO festival in Toronto, took place in front of the stylist and a handful of others, Nash testified. Nash — who was Ventura's long-time stylist and considered them close friends — also told jurors that Combs tried to control every aspect of his then-girlfriend's life. He once forced the R&B singer to come home from a 2013 night out at a Los Angeles gay club because he was angry she'd gone there with Nash, singer Rita Ora and Cheetah Girls singer Adrienne Bailon-Houghton. The celebrity stylist told jurors they were at the club when Ventura took a call from Combs on speakerphone during which he allegedly told her that 'she better bring her ass to his house.' 'She started to panic,' Nash told the jury. 'Then [Combs] called back and he talked to me and told me that we were wildin' and that he thought he told us not to be going out since every time I go out that b–h wanna go.' Nash testified that Ventura 'just packed her stuff and went to his house.' The stylist, who also worked for Combs from 2008 to 2018, said this was one of two times the disgraced Bad Boy Records founder had told him and Ventura that they needed permission from him before going out. The 'I'll Be Missing You' rapper even got violent with Nash a 'few' times, including once choking him for going out with Ventura, he testified. Combs 'threw me on the car and started choking me out,' Nash testified of the incident that allegedly took place in 2013 while Ventura was shooting a music video for her song 'I Love It.' As Ventura's stylist, Nash said he had to repeatedly seek approval from Combs for her outfits and appearance. He alleged, too, that an irate Combs once put his hands on him before the 2014 Vanity Fair Oscars party after the rapper blew up because Ventura had opted to wear her hair down. 'She looked bomb … Her hair was long,' Nash said, alleging that a fuming Combs told him: 'I thought I told you to keep her hair up.' Combs then 'grabbed me by my jacket and lifted me up,' he testified. Once Nash had pinned Ventura's hair up, he said Combs declared: 'I was right, it looks better that way.' Nash — who noted he spent almost every day with Ventura — alleged he also constantly overheard Combs berating and threatening his then-girlfriend. Asked what threats he overheard, the stylist responded: 'That he would beat her ass. That he wouldn't put her music out. That he would get her parents fired from her jobs and that he would send her sex tapes to their jobs.' 'He told her she was nothing but a s–t anyway,' Nash added. The stylist testified, too, that the alleged abuse drove Ventura 'crazy.' 'She would be super emotional, would cry, sometimes she would just stay in the house for days and go into a cocoon,' he said. It got to the point that Nash said he'd help Ventura 'hide' at hotels to get away from Combs' violent moods — 'too many [times] to count,' he testified. When the hip hop artist couldn't find his on-and-off girlfriend, he 'would blow everyone's phones up and threaten everybody' to try to get her to come home, Nash testified. 'He would call incessantly,' saying 'that we needed to get back to the house,' Nash recounted. Combs, 55, has pleaded not guilty to charges including racketeering conspiracy and sex-trafficking. He could face life in prison, if convicted.
Daily Mail
27-05-2025
- Health
- Daily Mail
Confessions of husband-beaters: The women who admit to hitting their male partners - as the world reels from clip of Brigitte Macron shoving her husband Emmanuel on a plane
All eyes were on Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron on Monday as they touched down in Vietnam when a clip of the French President, 47, being shoved by his 72-year-old wife went viral. The shocking incident, which occurred on the plane just as the aircraft door opened, saw Brigitte put her hand in her husband's face as she appeared to push him backwards. The Macrons, who have been married since 2007, have denied any abuse in their relationship, with a close associate of the president describing the moment as a harmless 'squabble' between a married couple. An official from the Élysée Palace also downplayed the footage, insisting the moment had been misinterpreted and the couple were simply 'having a laugh', brushing off any suggestion that tensions were running high between the French First Couple. Nonetheless, the incident has opened up a conversation about domestic violence in relationships where a woman is the perpetrator and a man is the victim. Statistically, women are significantly more likely to be victims of domestic abuse, thousands of men around the UK are also subjected to abuse within the home at the hands of their partner. In 2024, 1.6 million women and 712,000 men reported domestic abuse in England and Wales, according to The Office of National Statistics. And some women who have attacked their male partners have even confessed to their actions online - taking to parenting forum Mumsnet to anonymously reveal their actions. In a series of posts, some women have revealed how they lost their tempers with their partners and confessed their guilt over reacting with violence. One anonymous mother-of-two opened up about an altercation she had with her husband after he arrived home 'wasted drunk'. She explained: 'Last night he went out and said he'd be back by 11 as that's when the baby normally wakes to feed and toddler often wakes at the same time. He wasn't back but I managed to feed and settle baby so just texted him to ask for an ETA. 'He said half an hour - fine. It took a while to burp and settle baby so text him again but didn't deliver so worried a bit. 'Then after another half hour toddler wakes up inconsolable that it's me coming to him and not dad, so texted [my husband], gone back to friend's house, back soon - fine. 'Toddler not settling so tried calling [my husband] and it hangs up. We have each other on 'find your friends' app (for convenience, no issues with trust) and it says he's in a park half an hour away?? So, I start to panic and think he's either gone to get drugs (out of character) or been attacked.' The woman revealed he eventually came home, two and a half hours after he said he would. After questioning him she claimed he 'defensively' said he was going to bed instead of explaining where he was. Then she admitted to grabbing him by the shirt and shoving him, blaming 'sleep deprivation' and 'panic' saying her mind was 'crazy'. She added: 'I know I need to control my anger and I regret being physical but I was so upset. One anonymous sleep deprived mother-of-two opened up about an altercation she had with her husband after he arrived home 'wasted drunk' People rushed to the comments to say there is no excuse for violence and the woman should seek help 'I'll obviously apologise but don't know how to move on from this? Baby has been awake since about 4am, I haven't had any proper sleep since 11pm, just feel miserable right now.' In response, readers urged her to seek help and warned there is no excuse for violence in the home. One person wrote: 'You need to go to the doctors and get help and apologise to your husband. You were in the wrong, and whilst I can sympathise how you got there, it was still wrong. 'Good luck OP; I hope your husband forgives you and you are able to get the help you need.' Another added: 'So much is wrong with your post OP. Bottom line, assaulting one's partner is never acceptable regardless of the genders. 95% of your post is your excuses and rationale for why you assaulted him. It reads to me that you don't really regret hitting him, you just want people to join your pity party and tell you your assault was excusable.' Another woman also took to the parenting platform to admit she punched her partner repeatedly. She explained: 'I don't want to be flamed. I know I was wrong. 'We had a bad night and a bad morning, both stressed and argued. It got out of hand and I punched him repeatedly. I feel dreadful. He was calm and left the house. Another woman also took to the parenting platform to admit she punched her partner repeatedly Many suggested the woman should hand herself into the police for domestic assault Another mother- of-two, who admitted to having 'anxiety and depression' claimed she lashed out on her husband and rushed to social media for advice Many rushed to the comments with sympathy for her situation, saying it sounds like she doesn't have any support but said there is no excuse for violence 'We have huge problems that I can't go into as it will out me, its no excuse I know but we are both under immense pressure, tired and stressed. 'I love him and I feel so ashamed. What do I do now? Where do I seek help for this, I don't want it to happen again. 'If he had done it to me I'd be terrified and would leave. How can I ever make things better?' Many suggested the woman should hand herself into the police for domestic assault. One person wrote: 'Go to the police. You've assaulted him. You should be arrested.' Another added: 'Taking yourself to the police will prove to your husband that you are truly ashamed of what you have done.' Meanwhile another said: 'Go and see your GP. You say you are stressed and under immense pressure, go and see your doctor immediately. Do not brush this aside. Be prepared for your partner to leave though. He deserves to live free from abuse.' Another mother-of-two, who admitted to having 'anxiety and depression', claimed she lashed out at her husband and rushed to social media for advice. Many rushed to the comments with advice to 'end the relationship' as it was 'toxic' She revealed she has been with her husband for 10 years and they have been married for two years. They share two children together; a one-year-old and six-year-old. The mother explained they are living in an isolated area with no car and she was feeling unhappy in her marriage. She explained: 'I have serious doubts on whether we should be together or not but if I leave him what do I do? I've nowhere else to go, I've asked him to leave but he won't go.' She explained the pair had an agreement and she hit her partner, revealing it wasn't the first time it happened. She admitted: 'We had a row today and I lost my temper and I hit him, it's not the first time it's happened. 'He says he can't stand me, so I say leave then if you're that unhappy, but he won't! I'm ready for a breakdown if I have to sit in this house one more day with no car!' She revealed she is stuck at home with the two children all day with no shops nearby and she has started to resent her partner. She added: 'I'm not using that as an excuse as I know there is no excuse for violence. I didn't hurt him really (I couldn't even if I tried) he's a big strong man, I'm weak compared to him. Elsewhere another woman confessed to 'slapping' her partner, saying she 'feels sick to my stomach and have been crying all day' Some suggested that the woman should seek therapy for her own childhood trauma, while others condemned both her and her partner for the toxic altercation 'But I know that's not the point. I feel terrible I hate myself for being like this. I just feel so isolated and in a rut. 'I know I need help but who do I ask? I was gonna speak to my doctor but I'm afraid they'll take my kids. I'm a good mother, my kids are my life. I couldn't bear to be apart from them.' Many expressed sympathy for her situation and acknowledged that she felt unsupported - but insisted there was no excuse for violence. One person said: 'Go back to your GP. It really sounds like you need some support/ someone to talk to. You're doing amazingly for your kids. Hugs.' Another added: 'If this was a man posting this or if the situation was reversed there would be outrage. 'Your husband should be calling the police. Assault is never okay regardless of how big the other person is. 'It's not a great example for your kids to have a physically abusive mother either. You need to remove yourself from the situation, get help and be grateful you haven't been arrested.' Someone else admitted to feeling 'ashamed and disappointed' in herself for lashing out at her partner. She explained: 'All day he was doing things and trying to cause an argument. 'Like this morning he was refusing to take his son (aged two) back to his mum's so I had to whilst he was still in bed and I had to give his son breakfast and get him dressed. 'Then this afternoon he was ignoring me. And when he spoke to me he started an argument. 'And I was so fed up with him and angry I hit him. He's gone out now, probably to the pub. I'm so ashamed.' Many rushed to the comments with advice to 'end the relationship' as it was 'toxic'. One person said: 'This relationship sounds toxic without the domestic violence, let alone with it. 'For both your sakes end the relationship, and get some help with dealing with anger and how to avoid resorting to violence.' Another added: 'You need to end the relationship. Neither of you sound like a good example for a two year old to be around.' Elsewhere another woman confessed to 'slapping' her partner, saying she 'feels sick to my stomach and have been crying all day.' She started by explaining that she has come from an abusive household herself as her mother was violent to her growing up. After moving out of home she had a 10 year relationship which had no violence in it but they separated because they were more like 'friends.' However she is currently in a one-year long relationship with a man and things got heated between them. She explained: 'Last night we had a row, it came out of nowhere really. I was working late and I was really stressed and getting a bit upset, he just made some stupid comment 'why don't you go and cry about it, grow up' I asked him to leave because I could see the argument brewing, he refused. 'So I got up and I pulled his arm to get him up off the sofa to leave. He jumped up, shouted at me and grabbed my arms, his face was full of rage, my childhood flashed before me and I honestly thought he was going to hit me, so I just slapped him across the face. 'I am in no way trying to condole(sic) my actions from what happened in my childhood and I feel disgusted and ashamed. 'I feel like I need to end the relationship now because I am scared in case it happens again. 'My DP promised he wasn't going to hit me and I think I know deep down that he wouldn't. 'I don't know what came across me, I've never once hit anyone, never had a fall out with friends, not had a confrontational argument with anyone etc. 'I feel sick to my stomach and have been crying all day. I am no better than the abusers my poor mother was with.' Some suggested that the woman should seek therapy for her own childhood trauma, while others condemned both her and her partner for the toxic altercation. One person said: 'Neither of your actions are good and you assaulted him first. Why didn't you leave the room rather then trying to force him? 'Sounds like you need some therapy to get through your past . I'd also take a break from your relationship. Sorry but if you were my partner I'd be leaving. Neither of the actions are good but he used words and you used violence . Definitely not all his fault.' Another added: 'Sounds like you need anger management therapy. You have trauma from your childhood, but you absolutely cannot abuse your partner.' It comes after a woman shockingly admitted to being a husband beater for many years before seeking help from a support group. In 2010, Florence Terry revealed she would lash out at her husband but she now helps others to overcome conflict in their marriages. Speaking to MailOnline, she explained: 'The first time I struck my husband was during an argument over money. He'd decided to pay off a loan without telling me and we'd gone overdrawn. I was worried and tried to discuss it with him, at which point he left the room. 'I felt we hadn't talked it through properly and followed him. The next minute, I was hitting him around the head. I remember losing control and my limbs lashing out. 'Afterwards he was upset and I cried - I felt scared and ashamed of what I'd done. 'I apologised and thought it was a one-off, but in fact it was a pattern that carried on for the next ten years. 'I met my husband through mutual friends at Durham University. I was 19 and he was five years older, more worldly and mature. He was less serious, too, and made me laugh. 'We married five years later. He had a job in IT by then and I started work as a divorce lawyer. The early days of our marriage were steady, but as the stress of my job and responsibilities grew, I took it out on him. 'After that first time, it happened again about 18 months later. I felt a surge of rage I couldn't control. My anger would escalate during arguments over household chores or my husband coming to bed late. I remember feeling I was out of my body, watching myself and telling myself to stop, but I couldn't. I would hit him hard; hitting to hurt. 'One time, I picked up a table and crashed it down so hard on the ground that it broke. I left bite marks in his arm a couple of times - it was similar to the way siblings fight, yet he never once struck back. He'd hold up his hands to shield himself, which made me feel even worse. 'My husband felt emotionally hurt at times - it was upsetting for him to think the person he loved wanted to hurt him - but he never threatened to leave me. 'He felt there was more to me than this behaviour, and that we still had a strong marriage. 'I'm a petite woman, a little over eight stone (51kg), and my husband is a big man. Yet he said he didn't feel emasculated, and that I never physically hurt him. While I exploded, he remained calm.' Florence admitted she was 'thankful' that her husband didn't lash out at her or ever escalate the situation. She added: 'I was using violence to get a reaction. I was verbally aggressive, too. I'd make demeaning comments, sarcastic and personal attacks - all the things that erode love. 'I'd blame him, preach and criticise. I couldn't understand why I wanted to be aggressive to someone I loved. I now realise the anger I felt was to do with stress and low self-esteem. I was packing my life too tightly, working long hours as a lawyer, volunteering at the Citizens Advice bureau and doing soup runs for the homeless. 'I had what I felt was a privileged upbringing; my family was middle class and I went to private schools. I felt I had an obligation to repay this to society. I thought I should be superhuman and I felt my husband should be, too. 'To other people I seemed calm and accommodating, a kind of peacemaker. But inside I was pent up and deeply ashamed of myself. 'Eventually I accepted something had to change. I'd heard about domestic violence groups, but only for men. I felt my behaviour carried an added stigma - women weren't expected to be violent, especially high-powered working women who volunteered for charities. 'Then I found an anger management course on the internet. It was nerve-racking at first, and I knew I'd have to face up to aspects of my life I'd prefer to overlook. Yet the course was a turning point and by the time it finished I felt confident I could control myself. 'Then, two years later, I hit my husband again. I had become complacent, assumed that I'd changed. So when I slapped his face for the last time, I was forced to confront the situation. 'This time I told my family and friends what had been happening. That they didn't criticise or judge was a huge help. Soon after, I decided to go part-time as a lawyer and a mediator, and now I run a course to help people deal with anger and conflict. 'My husband and I are still together, and I'm careful not to choose language that is aggressive. If i ever get angry and feel my heartbeat quicken, I leave the room, but that is rare. 'I wouldn't claim our marriage is now perfect, but it's pretty good. It's a caring and gentle relationship, which feels like a big achievement for me.' Florence now runs the anger management group to help people learn to control their anger.
RNZ News
19-05-2025
- RNZ News
Esmond Jellyman attempted to strangle his ex-girlfriend after their breakup
By Catherine Hutton, Open Justice reporter of The man took her clothes to the backyard and set them on fire. Photo: 123RF Warning: This story contains descriptions of domestic violence some may find disturbing. A man was so upset by the end of his long-term relationship that he tried to strangle his former girlfriend before dumping her clothes into the backyard and setting fire to them. Esmond Jellyman wrapped his hands around his victim's neck so tightly she thought she was going to die. "Your hands overlapped on her throat and she feared for her life," Judge Jan Kelly told Jellyman during his sentencing in the Wellington District Court today. According to the judge, the incident happened shortly after the couple's seven-year relationship ended. The woman had ordered him out of the Raumati house they'd shared in February 2023, only to wake the next morning to find Jellyman asleep on the bed beside her. An argument ensued, and Jellyman struck the woman on the back of the head as she sat at the end of the bed. She fell to the floor, and the court heard Jellyman climbed on the woman and placed his hands on her throat. She escaped upstairs, while Jellyman scooped up the woman's clothes and took them to the backyard, placing them in a pile on the grass, before pouring kerosene over them and setting them alight. The woman didn't provide a victim impact statement, but Judge Kelly said it was clear from her evidence at Jellyman's jury trial in March this year that she'd suffered as a result of the incident. On Monday, Jellyman was sentenced on charges of strangulation, assault on a person in a family relationship, and arson, which the jury found him guilty of. Jellyman's lawyer Peter Ross submitted that the strangling incident had lasted about 30 seconds, and there was no suggestion the victim had lost consciousness or that it had impacted her voice. He submitted a starting point of 25 months' jail, but suggested home detention was appropriate. Meanwhile, Crown prosecutor Claire Hislop sought a starting point of 32 months' jail and suggested the victim receive a $500 emotional harm payment. Judge Kelly noted the 54-year-old had a lengthy criminal history dating back to 1987. He'd amassed 48 convictions since then, mostly for money laundering and drug-related offences. She noted he had three convictions for violence, the most recent in 2007. The court heard Jellyman accepted the Crown's summary of facts and took responsibility for his offending. Judge Kelly adopted a starting point of 28 months' jail to reflect the totality of the offending. But after taking into account the time Jellyman had spent in custody and on electronically monitored bail, as well as character references, she reduced that to a final sentence of nine months' home detention. Jellyman was convicted of the three charges and ordered to serve his home detention at an address outside of Wellington. She also ordered Jellyman to pay his victim $250 in emotional harm at a rate of $10 a week, noting that was all he said he could afford on his benefit. He was also ordered to complete a non-violence programme and to undertake any counselling or treatment, as directed by his probation officer. If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111. This story originally appeared in the New Zealand Herald .
