Latest news with #selfworth
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Vogue
15 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Vogue
A Cheers to Seema, And Just Like That's Certifiable Diva
In the first episode this season, we meet Seema again as she is trying to keep the romance alive with her boyfriend Ravi, who is off in Egypt making a film. (A Marvel movie director? Love that for her.) She decks herself out in full-on lingerie for their Zoom date, only for Ravi's assistant to keep her waiting for hours, to no avail. (Hate that for her.) She then falls sleep with a lit cigarette, lighting her bed (and some of her hair) on fire. Dramatic? Yes, but she essentially represents all the hoops many of us jump through for undeserving men. My queen, we see you and empathize with you! When Ravi finally gets into town, he then promises to take Seema out to lunch at Jean-Georges to make up for it—only to bring her along on a location-scouting trip that eats up their entire day. Fed up, she proceeds to swiftly dump him (in a fabulous white fringed dress, no less). As she should. She deserved that bougie martini lunch! We love to see a diva who knows her worth. If AJLT fans are still mourning the loss of the über-confident Samantha, Seema is here to fill that void: She is not to be messed with.
Yahoo
26-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Do You Struggle To Maintain A Committed Relationship? Here's Why
We all think we know what makes a relationship last: love, communication, trust, and the occasional date night. But the truth is, a lot of people quietly sabotage their relationships in ways they don't even realize. It's not just about cheating or bad communication—it's about the subtle patterns, unspoken fears, and inherited beliefs that slowly chip away at connection. And the wild part? Most of these behaviors feel normal—until you step back and see the damage. If you're wondering why you (or someone you know) can't seem to hold onto love, these surprising reasons might hit like a sucker punch. This isn't about blame—it's about awareness. Because once you see the problem, you can start changing it. For a lot of people, passion is the drug, and they confuse fireworks for a solid foundation. If it doesn't feel electric and all-consuming, they think it's not 'real' love. But the truth is, healthy relationships often feel stable, not chaotic—and that can feel boring if you're used to drama. Chasing intensity makes it impossible to build the steady connection that commitment requires. The problem is, intensity fades, but intimacy takes time to grow according to the American Psychological Association. If you're always chasing the high, you'll keep crashing when things settle into a rhythm. Love isn't supposed to feel like a rollercoaster every day. Sometimes, it's just a quiet, steady presence—and that's not a problem, it's a gift. Deep down, you might believe you're not worthy of love, so you push it away before it can leave you. You pick fights, withdraw, or test your partner's limits to see if they'll stay—and when they don't, it confirms your fear that you're unlovable. It's a vicious cycle, and it's not always obvious when you're in it. The fear of abandonment makes you create the very distance you're afraid of. This isn't just insecurity—it's a survival strategy you learned a long time ago. But now, it's killing your chance at real connection. Self-sabotage feels safe because it's familiar, but it's a trap. And it's one you have the power to break. Romantic comedies, Instagram posts, and even your own parents might have given you a warped sense of what love is supposed to look like. You expect your partner to meet all your needs, always know what you're thinking, and somehow never disappoint you. But no one can live up to that fantasy—not even the person you love most. And when reality doesn't match the ideal, you start to feel restless or resentful. According to Psychology Today, unrealistic expectations are one of the top reasons relationships fall apart. Love isn't a movie montage—it's daily choices, compromises, and sometimes boring stability. If you're chasing perfection, you'll keep running away from real connection. It's not about lowering your standards—it's about adjusting them to something human. For some, the idea of being in a relationship feels like suffocation. You worry that being 'committed' means giving up your freedom, your passions, or your sense of self. So you keep one foot out the door—just in case. But here's the thing: true commitment doesn't require sacrificing who you are. Healthy relationships actually expand your life, not shrink it. If you're always holding back to protect your independence, you're not really in the relationship—you're guarding yourself from it. Love is vulnerable, yes—but it's also expansive. You don't have to lose yourself to be with someone else. If you can't manage your own emotions, it's nearly impossible to navigate the ups and downs of a relationship. You lash out, shut down, or spiral into anxiety, leaving your partner feeling like they're walking on eggshells. As Verywell Mind points out, emotional regulation is one of the most important skills for healthy relationships. But it's rarely taught—and it shows. Relationships require emotional resilience, not just chemistry. If you don't know how to soothe yourself when you're triggered, you'll keep exploding the connection every time things get hard. Your partner isn't responsible for managing your feelings. That's your job—and it's a job worth learning. Trust is the glue of any relationship, but if you've been burned in the past, it's hard to let someone new in. Even when they're consistent, kind, and showing up, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. That hyper-vigilance makes it impossible to relax into love. You're not protecting yourself—you're blocking connection. Distrust isn't always a reflection of your partner—it's often a reflection of your own wounds. And while it's understandable, it's also your responsibility to heal. No one can prove they're safe enough for you if you're not willing to believe it. Love can't grow in the soil of constant suspicion. Some people love the thrill of the pursuit more than the reality of partnership as this article in Women's Health explores. You crave the excitement of newness—the flirting, the tension, the 'will they, won't they' energy. But once you have the person, the high fades, and you start looking for your next fix. It's not commitment you struggle with—it's boredom. Sustainable love doesn't always feel exciting. Sometimes, it's slow, repetitive, even mundane—and that's okay. If you're always chasing butterflies, you'll miss out on the deeper kind of love that only grows with time. The question isn't 'How do I keep it exciting?'—it's 'How do I stay when it's not?' If you grew up in a home where love was conditional, inconsistent, or withheld, it shapes how you see relationships as an adult. You might expect love to hurt, to disappoint, or to vanish when you need it most. That history becomes the blueprint for your relationships, even if you don't realize it. You're not just reacting to your partner—you're reacting to the ghosts of your past. It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to break the cycle. Trauma wires your brain for survival, not connection. But you can rewire it—with awareness, therapy, and time. Love doesn't have to feel like a battlefield. For a lot of people, the moment a relationship hits a rough patch, they see it as a sign that it's doomed. Conflict feels scary, so they bail—or they avoid it entirely, letting resentment fester. But the truth is, healthy relationships have conflict—it's how you handle it that matters. If you think love means never fighting, you'll keep leaving when things get hard. Fighting doesn't mean failure—it means you're two different people trying to build a shared life. And that's messy. The goal isn't to avoid conflict—it's to fight fair and repair well. Love isn't the absence of struggle—it's the willingness to work through it. Letting someone see the real you—flaws, fears, and all—is terrifying. So you keep parts of yourself hidden, afraid that if they really knew you, they'd leave. But the walls you build for protection also keep love out. Vulnerability isn't just scary—it's essential for real connection. If you're not willing to be seen, you're not really in a relationship—you're performing in one. Love can't thrive when you're wearing a mask. And the truth is, if someone walks away after seeing the real you, they weren't your person anyway. Letting yourself be fully known is how you find out who's meant to stay. Some people enter relationships hoping their partner will fill a void—heal old wounds, make them happy, or give their life meaning. But no one can do that for you. A partner can support your growth, but they can't do the work for you. That expectation will crush even the strongest relationship. It's seductive to think love will save you, but the truth is, you have to save you. Your partner is a complement, not a cure. If you rely on them to fix what's broken, you'll only end up resenting them when they can't. You deserve to heal—and they deserve a partner, not a project. You're in love with who you thought they were, not who they actually are. You keep clinging to potential, waiting for them to change, or for the relationship to magically transform into what you dreamed it would be. But love built on fantasy isn't love—it's projection. And it will never feel stable, because it's not real. Letting go of the fantasy means grieving what you thought it would be. It's painful, but it's also freeing. You can't build a future on a fantasy—you can only build it on what's real. And if reality doesn't match the dream? That's your answer. The harsh truth is, a lot of people struggle in relationships because they don't know what they actually want. They think they do—love, companionship, a future—but when it shows up, it doesn't feel right. They get stuck in a cycle of longing for something, but running when they get it. And it's not because they're broken—it's because they haven't figured out what they're really looking for. Clarity is everything. Until you know what you truly want—beyond surface-level goals or what you think you should want—you'll keep chasing the wrong thing. The work starts with you, not them. And that self-awareness is the real key to lasting love.
Forbes
20-05-2025
- General
- Forbes
3 Signs You're A Burnt Out Overachiever — By A Psychologist
While it's important to have goals and drive, it's equally important to recognize when it's too ... More much. Here's how overachievers often burn out chasing success. Have you ever experienced those periods of intense focus and discipline where you effortlessly stick to your routine, power through work or study sessions for hours and feel unstoppable? But then, without warning, it all comes crashing down. The fear of failure creeps in, the weight of expectations becomes unbearable and the workload that once felt manageable now seems impossible to do. You start missing deadlines, you struggle to concentrate and even the simplest of tasks drain you. No matter how hard you push, exhaustion takes over and the guilt of falling short, whether in your own eyes or others', only makes it worse. If this sounds familiar, it might be time to question the relentless pursuit of success as your primary identity. Here are three signs you're an overachiever who would benefit from deprioritizing success. From a young age, many overachievers internalize the belief that their worth is tied to their productivity and accolades. They may have grown up believing that achieving success is one of the only ways to attain love and validation. As a result, they may end up equating self-worth with performance and form a fragile identity that thrives on external validation. Despite clear evidence of success, they feel they are never quite 'enough.' A 2019 study published in Human Relations suggests this may be because we live in a performance-based society, where our sense of identity is increasingly derived from our work. Traditional identity anchors, such as family or community roles have weakened, leaving professional achievement to fill that void. People may internalize labels like 'top consultant' or 'great teacher' until their work identities become central to their self-image. When work is so tightly intertwined with identity, any perceived underperformance can lead to feelings of shame and embarrassment. Any kind of work-related failure may undermine their sense of self. And these effects rarely stay internal. Struggles with self-worth can spill over into relationships, especially if one begins to feel disconnected from peers they once related to with confidence. While this mindset may fuel early success, driving academic or professional achievements, it also lays the groundwork for an identity crisis when the accolades fade or the goals lose their meaning. For many overachievers, burnout may show up as persistent exhaustion, emotional detachment and a deep loss of motivation. The problem is often misinterpreted by others and even by overachievers themselves as laziness or failure, which only deepens feelings of inadequacy. They may feel intense guilt for not being 'productive' and shame for needing rest. Their internal dialogue turns harsh, punishing them for slowing down, even when their bodies and minds are clearly signaling the need to pause. When we're healthy, we rarely think about our bodies since they function the way we need them to. But burnout makes the body suddenly feel unfamiliar and uncooperative. Tasks that once felt easy become overwhelming. It's like being trapped in a body that no longer aligns with the mind's intentions. This disconnect brings frustration and helplessness. People begin to distrust their own abilities, experience low self-esteem and feel unsettled in their sense of identity. They no longer feel like themselves. Instead, they feel like a half-version of who they once were. A 2020 study published in Qualitative Health Research brings up the importance of 're-habituating the habitual body.' This refers to relearning how to live in and with the body after burnout. If you've ever been a chronic overachiever, you need to start paying close attention to signs of fatigue before they escalate. It requires slowing down, pacing oneself and saying 'no' more often, even when it feels uncomfortable. For instance, don't say 'yes' to projects just out of enthusiasm or the need to prove your merit. Ask yourself if you have the capacity to cover them in the required timeframe, in addition to getting enough sleep, exercise, nutrition and other essential forms of self-care. Many people work relentlessly as a means to escape their psychological pain. They may be struggling with deeper issues such as emotional distress, family dysfunction or a sense of lost control elsewhere in life. Over time, the need to 'hustle' shifts from a drive to succeed into a coping mechanism for avoiding what feels too overwhelming to confront. But eventually, this strategy wears thin. Their effort only results in emotional numbness and exhaustion. Without the constant busyness to distract them, unresolved issues start to surface. Former overachievers may also grapple with what can be called 'success fatigue.' Despite achieving milestones that others admire, they are left with a sense of emptiness. They may wonder what all this was for or why they don't feel happy after years of effort. This dissonance reflects a deeper existential crisis. The goals they once pursued with such urgency no longer bring satisfaction. Many begin to crave slower, more meaningful lives, but struggle to reconcile that longing with years of conditioning that defined success as relentless striving. What makes this even harder is the silence that often surrounds success. Because they're seen as high achievers, former overachievers tend to suffer quietly. Loved ones may not understand their change in energy and motivation. They may say things like 'You were doing so well' out of concern, not realizing how this might deepen their sense of isolation. Overachievers who are accustomed to being the 'strong, dependable one,' may also find it difficult to ask for help or even admit to needing it. This isolation only worsens burnout and delays healing. It's easy to envy people who build fortunes, publish books or reach extraordinary heights. But instead of resenting them, we need to show them more compassion. Behind their successful image often lies self-doubt and the weight of unsustainable expectations. Likewise, overachievers must remember that there is nothing wrong with a moderate level of achievement. In fact, it may show that they have a well-balanced life and a healthy mindset. So before chasing after success, remember to choose yourself, as your well-being will always be the biggest win of them all. Does one setback leave you trapped in thoughts of what went wrong? Take this science-backed test to find out: Mistake Rumination Scale
Daily Mail
19-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Australian actor Samuel Johnson breaks down as he reveals he 'couldn't believe' his girlfriend cared about him until he suffered near-fatal head injury
Samuel Johnson has paid an emotional tribute to his girlfriend Em Rooke in a new TV interview. The 45-year-old Secret Life of Us actor was discussing the appalling injuries he suffered when he was hit by a car while crossing a country road at night in 2021 when his composure crumbled. 'When I woke up from accident I couldn't believe how much Em cared for me,' Samuel said in Monday's episode of the ABC's Australian Story. During the program Samuel said that he did not remember the accident, which left him with injuries to the skull and ground glass in his lungs. At one point the Molly actor said Em had 'held his head together' while the pair waited for the ambulance to arrive. Sam also confessed he has lived with problems of self worth throughout his life and the accident altered how he saw himself. After seeing Em by his side after he regained consciousness Sam said he thought 'wow I'm not awful'. 'She really cares for me and I just realised when I woke from the accident that I was alright' he said. 'And I needed to make sure that I needed to care for her as much as she cared for me.' Elsewhere in the episode Em appeared and talked about how Sam had changed after the accident. 'He realised that perhaps he was a good person and was deserving of love and he put the whip away... And stopped being so hard on himself. 'He is a good person and he does deserve love.' It comes after Samuel revealed the bizarre symptoms he experienced after the accident left him near dead. Two years ago he discussed how he 'spoke with a Russian accent for several days' and then thought he was a 'Japanese schoolgirl'. 'Admittedly, I was a bit wonky straight after the accident. I had a Russian accent for three days. I was a Japanese girl, aged eleven, for a day and a half,' he wrote in a column for the Love Your Sister website. And there was a pseudonym on my wrist. I just knew my name wasn't Alexis. My name was Sam, and I was a cancer fundraiser. It was a confusing time.' 'I was convinced I was in a doughnut factory, then I thought I might be in an insane asylum. It's called Post Traumatic Amnesia, or PTA.' Samuel was driving to a relative's house on June 19th, 2021 with Em when he pulled over and crossed the road to relieve himself, because he was 'bursting' and didn't think he could wait an extra half hour. As he went to return to his vehicle, he was hit by a car. He later confirmed he had broken his skull, suffered bleeding on the brain, injured the ligaments in his neck, partially dislocated his jaw and endured deep bruising down the side of his body as a result of the accident. Samuel's brush with death was another tragic blow for his family, who lost their sister Connie in September 2017. She had suffered from bone cancer at age 11, uterine cancer at age 22 and breast cancer at age 33. Connie died one day after being awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia at age 40. Samuel started the Love My Sister cancer charity in 2012 alongside Connie. Currently the actor is a volunteer postman in Tallarook, Victoria. He announced in July he would be working for Australia Post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Fox News
18-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Fox News
Valerie Bertinelli's 'emotionally excruciating' year had star struggling to get out of bed
Valerie Bertinelli is reflecting on her painful past. On Friday, the "One Day at a Time" star, 65, took to social media to detail an "emotionally excruciating" eight months of internal struggles and share the lessons she's learned along the way. "I go back and forth and hesitate sharing vulnerable posts like I so often used to because I put the useless opinions of the minimal creepers above the many of you who have made this page so special," she began her lengthy Instagram post. "Those of you who understand and feel not so alone by sharing your own struggles too." "I started two jobs in different states and writing my new book all while going through some of the most emotionally excruciating eight months of my life," Bertinelli, who joined "The Drew Barrymore Show" as a lifestyle expert and began hosting the Game Show Network's "Bingo Blitz," said. "And I still got my exhausted, sleepless ass up in the morning, put on a good face, and showed up, when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sob." "This is not to say I feel sorry for myself because I don't. Nobody has the market cornered on grief and heartache. People go through hard sh-- all the time. You just do what you have to do to get through what you have to get through," she continued. "And I don't know that I would change any of it. I've learned so much more about my strength, my weaknesses, my patience, my resilience, and my worth. I still have more inner work left to do." Bertinelli offered some sound advice for her followers fighting similar feelings. "If I could give you anything of value from my experience it would be this; don't let the challenging days make you forget how far you've actually come," she wrote. "No matter what, always believe in your core self. Do not allow the opinions of others or their experience with you, color what you think of yourself. You did your best with what you knew at the time." "Betrayal of your own self-worth is even worse than another's betrayal. You deserve kindness, respect, and confidence that can be trusted. Especially and mostly from yourself. We're here on this little floating rock to learn and to love. Learn to love yourself. Even that damn shadow," Bertinelli continued. "And if/when we fall or get pushed down again, we can either wallow, navel-gaze and be a victim or we can get our asses back up and live our big, beautiful life. Do that," the star concluded. In February, the former Food Network star — who called it quits with ex-boyfriend Mike Goodnough in November after ten months of dating — opened up about how her breakup has impacted her day-to-day. "When you feel hurt and wronged and know you deserve an apology but are being stonewalled by your partner because they're feeling shame, maybe this can shift your thinking," she began her lengthy post. "How are you bringing it up? Are you only pointing out what they're doing wrong, being hypercritical, and expecting them to just fix it? That could be making things worse. Change, real change, never happens through criticism, shame, or pressure. They most likely already feel all that. (I know when I f--- up, oof, do I feel shame)." "When feeling attacked, a natural reaction is to shut down and get defensive and feel overwhelmed about changing behavior that may be a coping mechanism since childhood,"she continued. "They'll feel judged and feel like they can't get anything right and they won't really hear you." "If you stop focusing on what they did wrong and instead approach with empathy and understanding, everything can then start to shift," she added. "Instead of saying, 'You always do this!' Maybe try, 'This is how I feel when this happens, can we figure this out together?' That one small change can make a difference." Bertinelli reminded her followers that it's important to work with your partner, not against them. "And hello, I'm not saying this is easy when you've been hurt and you want to lash out in anger (which is fear and/or grief and probably some of your own hidden childhood triggers). BUT, doing it differently may give you a better chance at getting the apology and amends that you deserve," she wrote. "Looking for ways to show up for each other is a love language and it takes two to do it," she continued. "Even when you feel wronged and think they should just know and do better. I think we all just want to do better and feel awful when we've hurt someone we love and shame prevents us from thinking clearly. Wouldn't it be nice to relieve the one you love from shame so they can truly give you the amends you're looking for?""Then again, what do I know?" she concluded. "I have two failed marriages and fumbled the last true good man I met. Maybe don't take advice from me."
