Latest news with #selfworth
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Melissa Gilbert Reveals the 1 Thing She Has ‘Zero Tolerance for' as a Woman ‘Over 60'
"Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commission or revenue on some items through these links." Melissa Gilbert wrote a powerful message to women over 60 on Instagram. She shared what she has 'zero tolerance' for as she gets older. She encourages other people her age to do embody the sentiment, too. In a 'self-reflective' moment on Instagram, Melissa Gilbert recently shared a public service announcement for women over 60, and the message is one you might want to write down for when you need an inspiring pick-me-up. 'I don't know about you ladies, but now that I'm over 60, I simply have zero tolerance for those who want to cajole, control, or manipulate me,' the 61-year-old wrote. 'Zero tolerance for being condescended to, or pandered to, flattered, and treated like I'm stupid.' She continued, adding that she has 'zero tolerance for disrespect,' and neither should other women her age. 'I've earned every single opinion I have,' she wrote. 'I have had a wildly multifaceted career and life. I have learned so very much, and I will no longer allow anyone to discount me.' She went on to stress that 'women [her] age are of tremendous value to the world,' which is only heightened by awareness of self-worth. She wants her peers to understand: 'You are worthy, wise, important, and remarkable,' she said. 'Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise.' Such a powerful epiphany is helping the Modern Prairie founder continue to embrace her strengths and her experience 'as an accomplished woman,' she explained. 'This realization has been not only liberating but has given me a whole new inspiration of what I want this last third of my life to be,' she concluded. Many of Gilbert's friends and followers chimed in to support her message and encourage one another. 'Yup. That about says it all,' Paulina Porizkova commented. 'I'm just beginning my early 50s, but I feel a freedom growing in me for sure!' another added. 'I love this so much. I needed to read this and be reminded of this,' someone else wrote. This musing from Gilbert falls in line with what she's said in the past, in interviews and online. She's passionate about aging powerfully—a sentiment that came from her personal evolution out of Hollywood and into her authentic self. 'I went from, 'Oh God, I better not get older!' to 'Oh God, I'm so glad I'm older!'' she told Page Six in February. 'I love the age I am right now. 60 has been the most incredible year, just to look back on all the things I've done and to know that I've earned my opinions, I have value, I am wise.' You Might Also Like Can Apple Cider Vinegar Lead to Weight Loss? Bobbi Brown Shares Her Top Face-Transforming Makeup Tips for Women Over 50 Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
18-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
14 Strange Things People With No Self-Worth Do In Relationships
When you're struggling with self-worth, things in a relationship can get downright weird. You might not even realize you're doing some of these things, but they can definitely throw a wrench into your relationship dynamics. So, let's talk about some of the strange things that people with low self-worth might do when they're in a relationship. Hopefully, this helps you spot any habits that might be holding you back. 1. Over-Apologizing For Everything You might find yourself saying sorry more often than necessary. Little things that aren't even your fault can have you blurting out apologies like you're handing out candy on Halloween. While apologizing can be healthy, doing it excessively often signals deeper issues. According to psychologist Guy Winch, constantly apologizing can signal feelings of inadequacy and contribute to a self-fulfilling cycle of low self-esteem. It's worth considering why you feel the need to constantly apologize, and whether it's coming from a place of genuine remorse or from a fear of not being "enough." This behavior could be a way to avoid conflict or a means to gain approval, but it's not a sustainable strategy. Over-apologizing can dilute your sincerity, making your apologies seem less genuine over time. People might start to take advantage of your willingness to take the blame, which isn't fair to you. If this sounds familiar, try to catch yourself when you're about to say "sorry," and think about whether it's truly necessary. You deserve to feel confident in your words and actions without always assuming you're wrong. 2. Overanalyzing Every Interaction If you find yourself constantly dissecting every conversation or interaction with your partner, it might be a sign of low self-worth. Overanalyzing can stem from insecurity and a fear of not being good enough. This habit can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, as you search for hidden meanings or motives in your partner's words. It's important to remember that not everything needs to be analyzed or scrutinized. Overanalyzing can create misunderstandings and tension in the relationship, as your partner may feel like they're walking on eggshells. It's essential to practice open and honest communication and trust that your partner's intentions are genuine. Try to be present in the moment and enjoy your time together without letting overthinking take over. Building trust and confidence in the relationship can help ease these tendencies. Remember, not every detail needs to be dissected—sometimes, things are just as they seem. 3. Avoiding Conflict No Matter What Conflict can be uncomfortable, but avoiding it altogether can lead to bigger issues down the road. If you're someone who'd rather sweep things under the rug than address them, it might be a sign of low self-worth. According to research by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, avoiding conflict can result in unresolved issues and resentment over time. It's crucial to address problems as they arise rather than letting them fester. Avoiding conflict might feel like the easiest route in the short term, but it often leads to misunderstandings and emotional distance in the relationship. Healthy relationships require open communication and the willingness to work through disagreements. It's okay to be nervous about conflict, but learning to express your needs and concerns is essential. Practice using "I" statements to communicate your feelings without sounding accusatory. Remember, it's possible to have constructive and respectful disagreements that actually strengthen your relationship. 4. Downplaying Your Wins When you're struggling with self-worth, it can be hard to accept compliments or acknowledge your own successes. You might find yourself shrugging off praise or attributing your achievements to luck or help from others. This behavior undermines your self-esteem and prevents you from fully enjoying your accomplishments. It's important to recognize that your hard work and talents are deserving of acknowledgment. By downplaying your achievements, you're also giving your partner an incomplete picture of who you are. Your successes are part of what makes you unique, and sharing them can deepen your connection. Try to accept compliments graciously and resist the urge to minimize your accomplishments. Remember, celebrating your achievements doesn't make you arrogant; it makes you human. Allow yourself to feel proud of what you've accomplished and share that pride with your partner. 5. Prioritizing Your Partner's Needs Before Your Own It's natural to want to make your partner happy, but consistently putting their needs before yours can be a red flag. When you prioritize your partner's desires at the expense of your own, it can lead to resentment and burnout. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a renowned psychologist, notes that maintaining a balance is crucial for healthy relationships. It's important to remember that your needs are just as important as your partner's. By consistently putting your partner first, you risk losing your sense of self and becoming overly dependent on their approval. This can create an unhealthy dynamic where your happiness is solely tied to their satisfaction. Start by identifying your own needs and communicating them openly with your partner. Establishing boundaries and practicing self-care can help you maintain a balanced and fulfilling relationship. Remember, a healthy partnership thrives when both people feel valued and respected. 6. Making Self-Deprecating Jokes While a little self-deprecating humor can lighten the mood, using it as a default mode of communication can be damaging. If you constantly make jokes at your own expense, it might be time to reassess why you're doing it. Often, people use self-deprecating humor as a defense mechanism to mask low self-esteem. It might feel like you're deflecting potential criticism by beating others to the punch, but it can actually reinforce negative self-perceptions. Over time, this habit can chip away at your self-worth, making it harder for you to view yourself positively. It can also be confusing for your partner, who might not know whether you're genuinely joking or if there's a deeper issue at play. Instead of making yourself the punchline, focus on building yourself up. Try to practice self-compassion and speak to yourself as you would to a friend. You deserve kindness and respect from both yourself and others. 7. Comparing Yourself To Your Partner's Exes It's natural to have occasional bouts of insecurity, but constantly comparing yourself to your partner's exes can be harmful. Focusing on what they had or did can make you feel inadequate and anxious about your own worth. According to research published by psychologist Dr. Tara Collins, this behavior is often linked to feelings of low self-esteem and can undermine trust in the relationship. Your partner chose to be with you for a reason, and comparing yourself to their past relationships only detracts from the present. Dwelling on your partner's exes can also create unnecessary tension and misunderstandings. It might lead you to question your partner's feelings or intentions, causing friction and emotional distance. Instead, focus on building a strong bond with your partner based on trust and open communication. Remember that everyone brings something unique to a relationship, and your partner values you for who you are. Celebrate your individuality and the special connection you have together. 8. Looking For Validation Through Social Media In today's digital age, it's easy to fall into the trap of seeking validation through social media. If you find yourself constantly posting about your relationship or fishing for compliments online, it might be time for a reality check. Relying on likes and comments for validation can be an indicator of low self-worth. Social media can create a distorted sense of reality, making it easy to compare yourself to others and feel inadequate. This habit can also put a strain on your relationship if your partner feels like personal moments are being shared for public approval. It's important to remember that true validation comes from within, not from the number of likes on a photo. Focus on nurturing real-life connections and seek validation through meaningful interactions with your partner. Practice gratitude for the positive aspects of your relationship and find fulfillment beyond the digital realm. 9. Pretending To Be Someone You're Not It's not uncommon to want to impress your partner, but pretending to be someone you're not is a recipe for disaster. If you constantly mold yourself to fit what you think your partner wants, it's a sign of low self-worth. This behavior can stem from a fear of rejection or a belief that your true self isn't good enough. Over time, maintaining this facade can become exhausting and unsustainable. Pretending to be someone you're not can lead to feelings of resentment and confusion in the relationship. Your partner might fall in love with a version of you that isn't authentic, which can create misunderstandings and emotional disconnect. It's important to be honest about who you are and what you want from the relationship. Embrace your authentic self and trust that your partner will appreciate you for who you truly are. Building a relationship based on honesty and authenticity will lead to a more fulfilling and lasting connection. 10. Forgetting About Personal Interests And Hobbies When you're struggling with self-worth, it can be easy to lose sight of your own interests and hobbies. You might find yourself abandoning activities you once loved in favor of spending time with your partner. While it's natural to want to share experiences, neglecting your passions can be detrimental. Your hobbies and interests are an important part of who you are, and they contribute to your overall happiness and fulfillment. By neglecting personal interests, you risk losing your sense of identity and autonomy within the relationship. This can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction if you begin to feel like you're sacrificing too much. Maintaining your own passions can also bring fresh energy and excitement into the relationship. Encourage each other to pursue individual interests and share your experiences. A healthy relationship allows both partners to grow and thrive independently while supporting one another. 11. Settling For Less Than You Deserve People with low self-worth often struggle to recognize their own value and may settle for less than they deserve in relationships. If you find yourself accepting behavior or treatment that makes you uncomfortable, it's time to reevaluate your standards. Settling for less can lead to feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction over time. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Accepting less than you deserve can create an unequal dynamic in the relationship, where your needs aren't being met. You might feel undervalued and unappreciated, which can take a toll on your self-esteem. Establishing clear boundaries and communicating your expectations can help you build a healthier relationship. Remember that your worth isn't determined by your partner's approval, but by your own self-respect. You deserve a relationship that brings you joy and fulfillment. 12. Constantly Seeking Reassurance There's nothing wrong with wanting to hear that you're loved or appreciated, but needing constant reassurance can be exhausting for both you and your partner. If you find yourself frequently asking questions like, "Do you really love me?" or "Are you okay with this?" it's time to take a closer look at your self-worth. This need for constant validation often stems from insecurity and can lead to a vicious cycle. You might think that hearing reassurance will make you feel better, but it often only provides temporary relief. In the long run, this behavior might push your partner away. They could start feeling like their words aren't enough to reassure you, which can lead to frustration on both sides. An important step is working on building self-reliance and internal validation. Start by listing things you love about yourself or accomplishments you're proud of. Strengthening your self-esteem can make a world of difference and help you rely less on your partner for validation. 13. Being Overly Accommodating Being accommodating is an important part of any relationship, but being overly accommodating can be a sign of low self-worth. If you find yourself constantly going along with your partner's wishes, even when you're uncomfortable, it's time to reassess. This behavior often stems from a fear of conflict or a desire to be liked. While it's important to be flexible and considerate, it's equally important to stand up for yourself and your needs. Being overly accommodating can lead to imbalance and resentment in the relationship if your needs are consistently overlooked. It's important to communicate your boundaries and priorities and to feel comfortable expressing your desires. Encourage open dialogue and find a balance that works for both partners. You deserve to have your voice heard and your needs respected. Building a healthy relationship requires mutual understanding and compromise. 14. Fearing Abandonment If you're constantly worried that your partner will leave you, it might be a sign of low self-worth. This fear can stem from past experiences or a belief that you're not deserving of love and commitment. Fearing abandonment can lead to clingy or controlling behavior, which can strain the relationship. It's important to recognize that a healthy relationship is built on trust and mutual respect. By allowing this fear to dictate your actions, you might inadvertently push your partner away. It's essential to work on building self-confidence and trusting in the stability of the relationship. Communicate your fears openly with your partner and work together to build a foundation of trust. Remember that you are deserving of love and security, and that your partner chose to be with you for a reason. Building self-worth can help you overcome these fears and create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. Solve the daily Crossword
News.com.au
17-07-2025
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Woman slammed for ‘ridiculous' reason she broke up with her boyfriend
A woman has gone viral after admitting she dumped her boyfriend of two years because he didn't propose. Bela Marie, a 'self-worth' influencer, revealed that she ended her relationship after her partner failed to pop the question on their second anniversary. But side-eyeing social media sceptics say her ex 'dodged a bullet' by not popping the big question. 'On our first date, I told him he had two years to propose,' began Ms Marie, in the closed-captions of a trending tell-all with over 10 million TikTok views. 'On our two-year anniversary, I broke up with him.' He missed her deadline. Now the relationship has flatlined. However, rather than applauding the no-nonsense siren for sticking to her guns, cyber critics are labelling Marie 'ridiculous,' 'wild' and a walking 'red flag,' arguing that a two-year romance is too short to make a lifetime commitment. Her haters aren't totally wrong. Only a mere 30 per cent of couples date for two years or less before getting engaged, per a recent survey of 8000 fiancés, via The Knot. A whopping 53 per cent of lovebirds agree to get hitched after two to five years together, according to the wedding experts, while a slim 17 per cent wait six years or more. It's a serious step that deserves serious consideration — especially right now, when divorce rates are skyrocketing. And Marie seems to agree. 'THANK GOD I did not marry that man,' she captioned her viral video, in part. 'On our two-year anniversary, after he flew me out to Catalina, surprised me with a suite and a beautiful boat around the island to celebrate 'our love,' and planned a beautiful long weekend trip — he did not propose,' continued the brunette. 'So l broke up with him and ended our relationship.' 'There were so many reasons I should have left prior, but I decided to stay — and this was the tipping point,' Ms Marie ranted. 'I'm blessed every day that this man is no longer in my life, and I'm proud of myself for sticking by my gut and what I told him on our first date.' With her virtual megaphone, she went on to encourage women not to 'waste time … on the WRONG PERSON.' 'After two years of being together, he was still uncertain about marrying me. 'I wasn't going to wait around to change his mind, beg for him to help me achieve my goals, or work harder out of this idea that I needed to 'prove my worth'. 'He didn't make a move. So I did — I left,' she said. 'Consistency without commitment is just convenience.' 'And I'm around for a man that commits. Not a boy that wants to waste my time.' Women in agreement with Ms Marie's steadfastness saluted her with support. 'Don't move your boundaries for anyone, ever,' cheered a commenter, punctuating her approval of Ms Marie's move with the clapping emoji. 'Planning a beautiful trip like that for your anniversary and not proposing is cruel,' another noted. 'I stayed … for 10 years & he still was unsure,' confessed a separate woman. 'We deserve better.' 'If someone doesn't know after 2 YEARS, run,' an equally caring ally advised. 'So proud of you.' 'I love this generation of woman leaving at the drop of a hat and not falling for sunken cost fallacy,' chimed another. 'It's amazing!'
Daily Mail
15-07-2025
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE I know the truth about Conor McGregor and the fiancee he's humiliated. I'm sure Dee Devlin won't want to hear these merciless words - but I've had enough: JANA HOCKING
Dear Dee, On behalf of every woman who has ever twisted herself into a human pretzel trying to 'fix' a man who clearly didn't deserve her, it's time we had a chat.
Telegraph
10-07-2025
- Health
- Telegraph
Why do I hate my job? Am I drinking too much? What people really ask a shrink
Owen O'Kane worked as a nurse in palliative care for 10 years before retraining as a psychotherapist. He eventually rose to become a clinical lead for the NHS. O'Kane now works in private practice and is the author of four books including 'How to be Your Own Therapist' and 'Addicted to Anxiety'. He appears as an expert on BBC One's 'Change Your Mind, Change Your Life'. People tend to come into therapy with the most 'respectable' version of their story. The problem they start with isn't the real issue. For example, someone might start off by saying 'I want to work on public speaking and confidence', but once I get to know them, they may also be dealing with issues around self-worth – or 'imposter syndrome' – where they wonder whether they are good enough, or will be 'found out'. It's rare for a therapist to be shocked by a client's story: we've heard it all. That's not to say we're immune, however, and sometimes a person's story can bring up something from a therapist's own past. This isn't necessarily a bad thing – the best therapists in my opinion are those who have walked the walk. Mostly, our job is to 'be alongside' the client and help them understand their story, their symptoms, where they have got stuck and how to find a way through. Hope is at the centre of everything. Feelings of shame, helplessness or even 'unlovability' can underpin many everyday issues. More often than not, these relate back to adverse childhood events, or some degree of trauma that's never been dealt with. Anxiety has always been common, but these days I am seeing more of it. Diagnosable conditions such as panic disorder, OCD, PTSD and generalised anxiety disorder have been around for years, but an increasing number of people are reporting what I'd call more chronic everyday anxiety – feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or struggling with uncertainty. There's a risk that if this chronic anxiety isn't dealt with, it can lead to a more serious acute condition. Even a statement like 'I'm feeling anxious about the climate' usually has a link to the person's own story – 'am I safe?', 'Can I cope?', 'I don't know how to manage the uncertainty'. Here are the five most common everyday problems I see in my treatment room. 'I'm feeling overwhelmed/I can't cope with the demands of everyday life' When a client starts the conversation with a statement like this, my job is to try to unpick it. 'What does this look like?' I'll ask – and am usually met with a list of the factual things that are going on, such as: 'I'm too busy at work, I've got too much on, I'm worried about paying my mortgage.' Of course, everyday life events can contribute to feeling stressed, but it's the person's internal reaction to these events that's the important thing. Many people struggle with uncertainty and not knowing how things are going to turn out. The adrenalin from this is making them feel on edge or perhaps making it hard for them to sleep. There are two approaches that can help. The first is practical: to try to break down the contributing problems, to make them feel more manageable, to prioritise and focus on what small next steps would be useful. But the second, deeper part is to challenge the person to look at their beliefs about how things 'should' be when they are proclaiming that life 'isn't fair' or 'it's all too much'. Perhaps it would be more helpful for a person to have a more flexible approach to their problems. Maybe it's OK not to know what's around the corner, that it's acceptable for things to be a bit untidy and that it's OK to ask for help. The client is probably contributing to their problems more than they realise and it's the act of trying to take total control that creates more internal turmoil. 'My relationships are always going wrong' Whether they are referring to their intimate relationships or broader interactions with friends or colleagues, it's not unusual for people to struggle. Relationships are the one area where we can be 'hit' quite strongly, and they can often hold a mirror up to parts of ourselves we don't like. There's another layer in that relationships can also be conflictual, and each person will have their own version of events as they go on the attack or run to their own defence. We're all familiar with the blame game – 'he did this, she did that' – but the trick is to notice the feeling evoked in yourself when a person does something you don't like. 'He makes me angry,' a client might tell me. I will respond: 'no, you are angry. You are responsible for your own emotions. You can't rely on another person's behaviour to dictate whether you feel rejected, not seen or not heard.' All this can be difficult to acknowledge. The first step is to be aware of the above, and the second is to ask yourself whether you are willing to take some responsibility in the conflict. (I'm not talking about situations such as domestic violence, abuse or coercive control when responsibility may lie with the other person). My suggestion in any relationship challenge is a four-step process: Understand what has been activated in you. Never react in the moment. Is there another perspective you might consider? Speak to the person when you can balance rationality and emotion. I once worked with a client who was going to end her relationship with a boyfriend because he didn't call her for three days while he was on holiday. She was convinced he was seeing someone else, and was moments from leaving him a voice message to end the relationship. The day was saved when she received a call from him, informing her he was in hospital with a burst appendix. 'I hate my job' 'So why are you staying?' is always my first question. What my client really wants me to say is 'oh, that's terrible' so they can go into every tiny detail of how awful their job is, but we could sit there for the next 10 years doing that. People tell me they stay in horrible jobs because 'someone has to pay the bills', but the real reason is that they are stuck in their mental state. Again, it comes back to the need for stability and security: people don't like to make changes, and they like predictability, even if it's bad. Earlier in my career, I worked with patients who were dying. This, more than anything, made me realise that life is short. If something is making you miserable – in this instance, your job – then it's not negotiable. There will be an alternative role out there for you that pays the same amount, or possibly even more. Don't use your fear of change or attachment to the old routine as an excuse to remain unhappy. I advise my clients to do a cost-benefit analysis about the factors that might make them leave or stay. Yes, understand that change is scary, but how does that stack up against five more years of misery? It's just possible a new job will make you happier than the one you have now. Plus, if you do find a new role, the realisation that the process wasn't so bad after all will give you invaluable confidence and resilience to help you in the longer term. 'I know I'm drinking to cope' We aren't necessarily entering the realms of addiction here; this situation could refer to any behaviour that becomes unhelpful and which comes at a cost. It could be drinking or drugs, but it could also be too much sex, shopping or work. Psychologists call these 'maladaptive coping strategies'. An example might be the person who finds it impossible to perform well at work after a bottle of wine at night but feels they 'need' the alcohol to relax and fall asleep. The first thing to realise is that this might be a way of coping, but it may also be creating more challenges and difficulties. My role is to understand what the person in front of me is trying to soothe, repress or avoid. And when I ask my client what that is, most people can answer the question quite easily. Many agree when I suggest they are mostly 'trying not to feel'. 'Do you think it might be useful to start to feel?' I will ask the client. 'Are there other ways you can self-soothe and ease some of the pain in your life?' These are different for everyone: some people might go to the gym, others take long walks, take up painting, join a book club, meditate, but there are invariably alternative solutions. 'I'm a total disappointment and a failure' Clients often complain that their relationships aren't progressing, their jobs aren't fulfilling and that life was supposed to be better than it is. Of course, none of this is helped by social media, which leads a person to the assumption that everyone is doing better than they are, which almost certainly isn't true. People rarely share a sh-- day or put a rubbish photo on Instagram. The upshot of this is that many clients internalise their dissatisfaction and blame themselves. They start to believe that if only they had loads of money, a better job, a bigger house, or were thinner or more beautiful, they would be happier. But the truth is, I rarely see this happen. If you try to use the external world to heal internal wounds, this just won't work: it's a bottomless pit. The first thing I do as a therapist is to challenge these beliefs. I ask clients to recall a time when they received the big promotion, the expensive car – and to ask how long the feelings of subsequent feelings of wellbeing lasted. The answer is usually: not long. Once the person is aware of the evidence that none of this worked, they are able to start exploring how they really feel about themselves and begin working on the things that are really standing in the way of their happiness.
