Latest news with #sisterinlaw
Yahoo
4 hours ago
- Business
- Yahoo
Would you want toilet rolls and kitchen towels as a wedding gift?
THEY may not be the sort of gifts that would send the recipients into throes of ecstasy, but at least they're going to be of use. Bypassing the usual crystal wine glasses, fine china tea sets and his and hers jewellery, Tesco has launched a wedding gift registry featuring everyday items like loo roll, bin bags and shower gel. The supermarket chain's Really Useful Stuff bundle also includes toothpaste, kitchen towel, antibacterial hand wash and shampoo. If you ask me it's a great idea. Unlike many wedding presents these items won't end up at the back of a cupboard for years, but will go straight into everyday use. Wedding gifts are problematic, both for the couple on the receiving end and for friends and family. When I got married we invited only a handful of guests, all close family, who asked what we wanted. Our presents included a microwave oven, a duvet cover, a lovely glass vase (also still in use) and a gorgeous wooden salad bowl, all, bar the oven, still in use today. My now sister-in-law, who had been living in China, gave us a pot of Chinese rice wine, traditionally drunk by the bride and groom to bring good luck. We were delighted with everything. But had we had a big wedding with a large number of guests, I can say for certain we would have stipulated no gifts, to avoid accumulating 18 sets of bath towels, 13 toasters and ten personalised chopping boards. As a guest, choosing a present, especially if you're not familiar with the couple's lifestyle, can be tricky. It's not only about what to buy, but how much to spend. You don't want to break the bank, but neither do you want to appear a cheapskate. Most couples already own a toaster when they tie the knot. Picture: Pixabay This sort of dilemma is perhaps even worse with wedding lists. These place people in a quandary. I've been to a few weddings where people's names are flagged up beside the gift they have chosen, so everyone knows who has opted for the set of three tea towels as opposed to the 13-piece Ultimate Le Creuset Cookware set. We were once invited to a wedding, prior to which the John Lewis gift list contained numerous ludicrously expensive items such as a sofa and a dishwasher. It was a morning suit affair too, so I was thankful that we managed to come up with a fictitious trip to Tasmania that sadly clashed with the date. We sent a gift voucher based on what we could afford. Wedding lists, and indeed presents generally, are intended to equip the happy couple for their new start in life, but nowadays most couples have already been living together for some while - as my partner and I had for more 12 years - so their household needs have already been met before tying the knot. Research carried out for Tesco found that many couples are ditching items typically associated with wish lists, like fine china and furniture, in favour of more practical goods. Cost increases mean the average couple now takes a year to pay off their wedding, which could be behind their desire to receive household essentials rather than luxuries. I like the traditional Greek wedding idea of pinning money on the bride and groom's clothing or throwing it towards them as they dance. It's a fun was of giving, with no way of anyone - guests or newlyweds - knowing how much anyone has donated. We recently attended a lovely wedding, at which there was no obligation to give anything, but if we so wished we could donate towards the couple's honeymoon, which we were happy to do. I wonder, does anyone still stock up their 'bottom drawer'- traditionally the place that a young, unmarried woman would put things - mostly household items like towels and tablecloths - to use once she was married?
New York Times
3 days ago
- General
- New York Times
I Am Struggling With Infertility. Can I Skip My Sister-in-Law's Baby Shower?
I have struggled to get pregnant for over two years. After multiple rounds of in vitro fertilization failed, my doctors suggested I consider other options. My sister-in-law also struggled with fertility, and we used to bond over our shared experience. But she got pregnant last fall, and her baby shower is in a few weeks. I am happy for her, but it has also been painful to watch her (and so many of my friends) get pregnant. I don't want to go to the shower, but my partner thinks that our relationship with his brother and sister-in-law has become distant because of their pregnancy and that my absence from the party will create strain. We used to be close. Should I have an honest conversation with my sister-in-law, fake an illness at the last minute, or put my feelings aside and attend? SISTER-IN-LAW I'm sorry for the pain of your disappointment, and I can certainly see how a baby shower might make you distressed. But while you mention fertility doctors, you don't say anything about therapists. I would prioritize your grief and mental health over a party. No matter what you decide about this one baby shower, it is important to address your feelings. They will not go away on their own. You say that you used to be close to your sister-in-law and commiserate over fertility issues. So, she may be a good candidate with whom to discuss your complex feelings: sincere happiness for her that is coupled with sadness for your own situation. But I understand if you are not ready for that conversation yet. Life is long. And under the circumstances, I do not believe that missing a single baby shower will do irreparable damage to your relationship with your in-laws. But I hope you will commit to addressing your underlying feelings and to discussing them with your sister-in-law soon — for your own good and the good of your relationship with her. Whether to Deal In an Old Friend I live in a retirement community and enjoy a weekly game night with a dozen other residents. It's informal: no score keeping or prizes. There is another player we have known for years who has moved into the assisted-care unit of the facility. She has memory issues and is visually impaired. We feel compassion for her, but it has become difficult — even unpleasant — to play with her: It takes her forever to make decisions, and sometimes she doesn't even know which card or tile she is holding. Is there a kind way to exclude her? PLAYER My best friend's mother was booted from her longtime bridge group because of cognitive issues. It shattered her! Now, that doesn't mean you are obliged to accommodate your friend with memory and vision problems, but it does argue for exploring alternatives to kicking her out: Is it possible for an aide from the assisted-care unit, for instance, or one of the regular players to help this woman participate more seamlessly? You could take turns. It's your collective decision, of course, but I would urge you to consider how you would like to be treated in similar circumstances. But I Only Meant to Break Up With Your Dad! When I was with my ex-boyfriend for about a year, I developed a rapport with his college-age son. After I initiated an amicable breakup with my ex, I texted the son a few times, and he responded. He hasn't replied to my last two texts, though. Now, his birthday is approaching, and I am inclined to send him a simple 'Happy birthday' text — though I expect it will be met with radio silence. I also suspect that my ex may not be happy about my continued contact with his son. What should I do? EX-GIRLFRIEND I understand that you mean well, but I would stop texting this young man. A year is a relatively short period, even in the life of a young person, and he has not replied to your last two messages. (It sounds like a circumstantial rapport to me.) Still, he knows how to reach you if he wants to, but it's possible that he may feel awkward or disloyal about maintaining a friendship with a person who broke up with his father. Things to Consider Before Putting Out the Welcome Mat My husband and I are buying a second home in Palm Springs. We've never had one before. We intend to host family and friends during the winter months, but it seems to us that we should probably establish ground rules to ensure that no one overstays a welcome, freeloads or alienates other guests. Suggestions? HOMEOWNER Maintaining a second home, in my experience, is a lot of work — and involves more chores than I had ever imagined. Before you invite anyone to stay, you and your husband should spend some time there alone, figuring out what it takes to keep the place running. (You may have less energy for hosting than you currently think.) Once you know, invite people to stay for specific periods and stick to those dates. If you don't like how guests behave, don't invite them back. But sensible adults don't need lists of good and bad behavior.
Yahoo
11-05-2025
- Yahoo
Alexandros restaurant Carlisle: The perfect dress rehearsal for my big Greek wedding
'So You want to do a restaurant review whilst fitting into a suit for my sister's wedding?' asked my puzzled wife setting up the satnav for Alexandros on Warwick Road, Carlisle. Well what do you do when you are flying 2,500 miles to Heraklion, Crete, to your English sister-in-law's traditional Greek wedding, you are supposed to be giving her away - but you are marginally overweight? Well you go to a Greek restaurant, of course, in search of inspiration. 'It's a dress rehearsal' I explained disarmingly, 'I am killing two birds with one stone (literally, being 14Ibs over). You know like Daedalus in Greek Mythology?!' The logic - good Greek work (This write-up is riddled with Greek words). First you put on weight by eating a fabulous meal and then guilt-ridden with the memory of wonderful food burn off the calories. Call it reverse psychology. Call it buy now, pay later. Recent crash dieting has included speed walking up Wainwrights with rucksacks containing flasks of black coffee (harsh); daytime fasting (miserable); and attempting burpees (humiliating) I needed an escape. The greatest form of marketing is word of mouth and I have only heard encouraging things about Alexandros like an enticing Shangri-La willing me over the threshold. This fabled Greek restaurant has been long overdue on my Cumbrian bucket list which has seen me scramble Catbells at dusk, paddleboard on Loweswater and drink a cold beer in Keswick's Dog & Gun. Alexandros Carlisle (Image: Newsquest) It is 5.30pm on the Saturday before Easter and Alexandros is already looking busy before we are seated. We meet the charming owners, husband and wife team and Aris and Sarah Pathanoglous They are celebrating the 25th anniversary of the restaurant in Carlisle. Their family business. Alexandros is elegantly decorated in Grecian trimmings and eye-catching paintings of Greece including the great man himself Alexander The Great. It is a very relaxed setting. Sparkling water is proffered. Menus scrutinised. Husband and wife team Sarah and Aris (Image: Newsquest) Like a time capsule that is set in Cumbria but takes you on a journey, the restaurant is rolling back the years. French novelist Marcel Proust said that food has the restorative power of nostalgia. A smell or taste of food can transport you back in time. Dipping that gorgeous Greek bread into Tzatziki and the clock rewinds to the summer of 1996. I am back in Ioannina, Northern Greece, younger, thinner and working as a TEFL teacher. I am eating Greek salad by Preveza with a pint of Amstel and reading John Fowles The Magus. The famous Greek Drachma with Alexander The Great (Image: Newsquest) It is searingly hot. There was no European Union. No Euro notes. You could flip a 100-drachma coin and it could land heads or tails on the famous profile of Alexandros. The Greek Prime Minister Andreas Papandreou and his much younger air hostess wife 'Mimi' is a big talking point. Tension is mounting between Turkey and Greece over a disputed island called Imia. Hilary Clinton is in Athens to collect the Olympic Torch for Atlanta 1996. Topping the charts in the bars of my favourite coastal resort of Parga are Spaceman by Babylon Zoo and Fool's Garden Lemon Tree. It seems appropriate as Northern Greece is the fruit basket. Taxi drivers don't use seat belts as they speed through the streets with Bouzouki music playing on the radio. Crete (Image: Newsquest) Greece was all about turning up the volume on the senses, the aroma of orange trees and olive groves. The taste of baked aubergine and garlic in a Taverna, the salty sweet smell of the Ionian sea. Sipping (Ellinikos kafes) Greek coffee, twiddling Kombo Loi (beads). Greeks I often found were consummate people watchers. Looking on with wry amusement as North Europeans busy themselves trying to pack a lifetime of sunshine and relaxation into a fortnight. A mulishly stubborn raised eyelids or a sardonic shrug of the shoulder speak volumes. For the Greeks there is nothing new under the sun. How to pack the promise of adventure onto a plate? The food we ordered was exquisite. Greek salad - crisp, creamy with sharp feta and a subtle drizzle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Moussaka made from a traditional recipe. Tyrokafteri, Spicy Feta, Melitzanosalata, aubergine dip, the starter is a mind-boggling trinity of delectable flavours washed by down by a delicate white wine, Makedonikos, Tsantali from Halkidi. A Dionysian feast of aromas, tastes and textures that ooze that Mediterranean allure of sun-kissed isles. It conjures excitement and anticipation as the family talk is all about the forthcoming wedding. This is the first time the English and Greek families have met formally. Good manners and cultural etiquette will be meticulously observed. First impressions last. Tread carefully. Cretans are some of the most welcoming, hospitable people in the world but they don't suffer fools. Their fearsome partisan spirit was best depicted in WWII films Guns of Navarone with Gregory Peck and Ill Met by Moonlight starring Dirk Bogarde. Eating here reminds me of the past and the future. Traditional food with a modern outlook. Stunned by this spellbinding culinary masterpiece there was temptation to burst onto Warwick Road and proclaim 'Eureka!'. To avoid a few disconcerted looks and possibly arrest I just sat back and savoured that rare refined satisfaction you have when you've truly enjoyed a splendid meal. Greek food elevated par excellence. A full house of clean plates. 'Best food ever' proclaims my McDonald's mad 12-year-old who has cleaned a plate of Paidakia lamb chops. Delicious Moussaka (Image: Newsquest) For those craving 'encore' there is an adjoining deli to take a few delicacies back home. Racks of wines and olive oils. For those sweet toothed among you - Baklava. We leave this far flung Grecian restaurant in Carlisle to the sounds of clinking wine glasses, exuberant chatter and Aris Pathanoglous smiling standing with a clipboard like a Maestro composer. Happy Place, Happy faces. The body language all looks positive. This restaurant is a triumph. It could sit comfortably in Ermou Street, Athens, Covent Garden, London, Trattoria Vecchia, Rome and hold its own. But it's not. It's on Warwick Road, Carlisle, where it has conquered the city like Alexander The Great. A Herculean champion of dining, inspiration, hard work, impeccable service, and philosophy. The perfect fusion of tantalising authentic Greek food provenanced in Cumbria. So I say 'Yamas!' to Alexandros - Thank you for a sumptuous gastronomic tour down memory lane. The perfect dress rehearsal for my fat(ish) Greek Wedding. Now for a few Wainwrights and that diminutive suit… For more information about Alexandros click here ere Suit option for Crete (Image: Newsquest)
The Sun
09-05-2025
- The Sun
I'm secretly hooked on my sister-in-law's OnlyFans – my requests are getting so twisted to feed my dark fantasy
3 DEAR DEIDRE: MY sister-in-law doesn't realise that I'm one of her biggest admirers on her OnlyFans account. What started off as innocent curiosity has become an unhealthy interest at best. I log on under a secret persona every week and I know my girlfriend would finish with me if she found out. I'm 29, my girlfriend is 28, and her sister is 26. My girlfriend is gorgeous and we are thinking about starting a family together. We've been together for three years. I wasn't intending to sign up long term when I logged onto her sister's account. I hadn't been on the site before and really just wanted a peek. Her sister had told me and my girlfriend she'd started a tame account where she talked to men in her underwear. My girlfriend warned her it would lead to trouble, but my sister-in-law was already boasting about the "seriously good money" she was making. 3 Later that night my girlfriend told me her sister had always been an attention-seeker and that she often attracted the wrong type of admirer. I tried to ignore the itch to look at her account but within the week I had given in. Using a different name completely, it felt weird flirting with her sister. But by using a completely different persona, I allowed myself to feel that it didn't actually matter because it wasn't really me. Four months have passed and I regularly flirt with her on OnlyFans but I've never pushed for anything more - I'm not that bad. But I do log on every week at least twice. Last weekend she confided in me and my girlfriend that a lot of her customers had started asking her for more - topless, then nude, then masturbation. She said one man in particular had started asking her to do really creepy things, then started recounting some of my requests - including asking her to pretend to be unconscious and vulnerable, passed out on the sofa. I know it's wrong, but it felt like a safe way of exploring my fantasy. I'm starting to feel sickened with myself - how do I stop this routine? 3 DEIDRE SAYS: It's likely your secret will come out one way or another and then what? You've satisfied your curiosity, so why are you still logging on? You've started down a dark path by requesting edgier content and I'd urge you to delete your account before things escalate further, and before your sister-in-law starts producing harder content. What you're doing is sinister on so many levels. Your sister-in-law doesn't know it's you and I'm sure your girlfriend would see this as cheating. Your fantasies of seeing her vulnerable and unconscious are especially concerning. Many porn users start seeking increasingly extreme content because they need more risk to enjoy the same results. After you have deleted the account, make sure you keep yourself busy at the times when you would have been tempted to log in. If you know you would turn to your laptop after dinner, arrange to go and see a friend, or your girlfriend, or go to the gym. Change your habits to help you break this unhealthy one. With such dark urges, it's likely you will need specialist help to stay away from such destructive scenarios. My support pack Is Porn Ruining Your Life is packed full of more insight, more advice and crucially where to go to get practical help. Put your efforts back into your relationship. You have the potential to build a gorgeous family life with your girlfriend but it will take some commitment. If you don't have that in you, it would be much better for both of you, and any potential children, to rethink your relationship plans. My support pack Looking After Your Relationship will help. Dear Deidre's OnlyFans Files sex after signing up to OnlyFans; another from a different subscriber who struggled with the guilt even after a self-imposed ban, while one woman who created her account in secret. OnlyFans - The Reality It's easy to understand the attraction of becoming an OnlyFans star; unlike the rest of the sex industry it seems performers can control their work, their image, their destiny. Then there's the money, which can be undeniably good. Of course, lots of women who chose this way of life will talk about female empowerment, and I'd agree that anyone has the right to make their own choices, however there are some harsh realities that this narrative skims over. The truth is no one who makes OnlyFans content can retain control. Once it is published or shared, it's susceptible to being screen grabbed, recorded and posted to other adult sites. There is simply no way to stop this. The people paying for sexual gratification can develop a sense of entitlement over you. Some may even feel they own a piece of you. In their eyes you are a product. I have received several emails from troubled men who have become obsessed with OnlyFans stars, convinced their business transactions are in fact the basis of a relationship. There are people who research the public and private details of OnlyFans creators (called doxing) and then publish their findings making women extremely vulnerable. Former content creators admit that while they start off with their own boundaries, the pressure to keep their subs (subscribers) willing to pay, pushes them to engage in extreme acts they previously would not have considered. Once those videos and images are out there, there is no turning back time. So it's worth considering how in the future neighbours, children or partners may react. And finally, the money might be good, but I'm not sure that losing your family or security and privacy is a worthwhile price to pay. If you have a worry you can email my team of counsellors on deardeidre@ By Sally Land, The Sun's Agony Aunt. Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors. Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women's issues and general features. Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week. Sally took over as The Sun's Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago. The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes: Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books. Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies. Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues. Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at: deardeidre@
